"Anong nangyari?"

I don't know what's with me but I ended up here at the bar. I mean, we ended up here. Hindi naman na kami minor so there's no issue but I don't usually go to this kind of place. Beer nga lang ang na-order ko habang ang kasama ko naman, nag-Black Label pa.

He's just silently drinking his drinks. He didn't even let me know what happened. He's just there, treating me like a ghost. Kanina ko pa nga dapat ito iniwan pero nakaka-konsensiya naman.

He looked at me before letting out a low chuckle. Mukhang may tama na siya ng alak dahil malamlam na ang mata nito. Even though I couldn't clearly see his face, I knew that his cheeks were now red.

"Callan..." I stiffened in my seat when he called me by my name. He chuckled again before drinking. "Am I not good enough?"

"What? You're drunk," I said and tried to take away his drinks but he won't let me.

"My family... they always say that I should be good..." Suminok pa siya. "Am I not good enough?"

"No. You're good enough so better stop drinking this." I got the bottle and thankfully, he let me. "And we're going now."

"You asked me what happened. Now that I am telling you what happened, you're not listening." He grimaced.

I sighed. "Fine. What happened?"

"My cousin topped his class..." he started. "I don't know if I should be glad for him or I should envy him. My family... they're so proud of him. I witnessed how wide their smiles were, which I never see whenever I achieved something." Napalunok ako nang tumitig siya sa akin. "They... they even told me that I should be as good as my cousin." He started sobbing again.

It really sucks. Lalo na kapag pamilya mo ang nagkumpara sa 'yo sa iba. It will make you feel that all your efforts are not enough. That everything you've done wasn't enough. That you, your self wasn't enough.

That's why I told myself that I am good enough. That I don't need to impress them for me to feel that I am the best. I always keep in mind that I am the best. The best way for you to increase your confidence is to let yourself feel that you are the best.

"Noong una naman, wala lang sa 'kin ang mga gan'on. I often laugh at it, to be honest. But now, I can feel that I will never be enough for my parents." He sobbed. Para siyang batang umiiyak sa harap ko. Maybe, his family really affects him that much. "They always say that I should be that, I should be this," he continued.

"I don't know how to comfort you but if there's something I should say,  you're enough. That you, yourself is enough. You just have to believe in that," I said as I poured my drinks into my glass. Napa-Black Label din tuloy ako dahil sa kagagawan niya.

"How can I believe that I am great if in the first place, my family don't. Nobody sees my worth." His voice is almost half-asleep. I checked him. Nakahilig ang batok niya sa sandalan, nakatingin sa taas habang nakapikit ang mata.

I sighed and stood up but I ended up sitting down again when my head hurt. Kaya ayokong uminom e. My tolerance isn't as high as others. Beer lang ang ininom ko na 'to.

"Dillion." I tried calling him but the prick was sleeping deeply. I tsk-ed and managed to stand. "Dillion, wake up. We're... we're going now."

Kapag naaksidente tayo sa daan, putangina talaga.

Hindi ko rin pala alam kung saan ang address niya. Aish! Why did heaven sent me such headache? Ayoko namang i-asa sa drivers si Dillion.

Inakay ko siya. Ang bigat niya, parang ewan lang. Magpapakasira na lang ng buhay, sinama pa ako. Ako naman 'tong tanga na hindi alam kung bakit ako sumama sa gagong 'to.

Pa-ekis ekis pa kaming naglakad dahil alam kong pareho na kaming may tama. Hindi naman gan'on kalakas ang tama ko pero medyo nahihilo na din. And this asshole, he's so heavy! I want to just throw him and leave him here.

"A-Ayaw ko sa bahay..." he mumbled. Kumunot naman ang noo ko pero hindi ko masyadong pinansin. "'Wag s-sa bahay..."

"E saan? Iwan kita sa kotse mo?" Naiinis na sabi ko. Palasing-lasing pa kasi, hindi naman pala kaya ang sarili. Narinig ko naman ang mahinang pagtawa nito kaya kumunot ang noo ko.

"May a-apartment ako riyan sa Bonifacio street." Pinasok ko na siya sa passenger seat dahil ang bigat niya naman masyado para tumagal ang pagpapa-akay sav'kin. "D'on na lang muna ako."

"Yeah. Whatever." I rolled my eyes before sitting in the driver's seat. "Give me the keys."

"Kiss?"

"Keys! Susi!"

"Ah, sorry. Here." He tried to get something in his pocket. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya habang pinahihirapan niya ang sarili. "Where the fuck did I put my keys? Didn't I give it to you?" I groaned out of frustration. Ako na ang kumuha ng susi niya.

"Next time, if you're having a bad day, don't drink too much. Nakakadagdag ka pa sa problema ng iba," I said as I started the engine. I heard his low chuckle. "Tell me if you're going to puke."

He remained unresponsive. Maybe he's sleeping already. Pinatong ko na lang ang siko ko sa bintana habang hawak naman ng isa pang kamay ang steering wheel. Panay rin ang tingin ko kay Dillion dahil baka mauntog. Nakalagay naman ang seatbelt niya pero hindi ko alam kung bakit nararamdaman ko agad ang konsensiya kahit hindi pa naman siya nauuntog.

And about his family, I don't know how to handle such a situation because, in my life, I've never been compared to anyone. There was a competition between my brothers and me, but my family never compared me to anyone. That's why I don't know how to comfort Dillion.

Naalala ko pa na sinabi niya sa 'kin na ayaw niyang iwan siya ng pamilya niya kaya wala siyang magawa kung 'di gawin ang gusto ng mga ito. He's not brave enough to disobey his family and for some reason, I understand him.

Being pressured is hard but being alone is harder. That's why you couldn't just tell anybody to cut toxic people around them. Especially when those people are the only ones they can be with.

I didn't realize that we were already here at the building where his apartment was. He's outside, puking. I sighed harshly before following him.

"Madami pang beer d'yan, baka gusto mo pa." Sarcasm is evident in my voice as I said those words while caressing his back. "Let's go."

He stood but he just couldn't. I sighed for the nth time before grabbing his arm and encircling it around my neck. Nawala ata ang kalasingan ko.

Mas napatanga pa ako nang makitang maghahandan lang kami. Putangina naman! How I wish I ditched him.

"What number is your apartment?"

"43." Tangina talaga. "It's just on the third floor, don't worry."

E kung i-akyat kita sa third floor tapos ipagulong kita pababa? Bago pa may kademonyohang pumasok sa isip ko, inakyat ko na siya.

Hindi nga naman masyadong mataas ang third floor. Pero sana naglagay na lang sila ng elevator para naman hindi na nagpapakahirap ang mga tao magtaas-baba.

When I saw his apartment number, I got his keys. I even stumbled because of him. Fuck life. Fuck Dillion.

"Come on."

Nang makita ang higaan niya, parang gusto ko na lang siyang ibalibag d'on. But I managed not to. Atleast, not now.

I laid him in his bed. Pakiramdam ko, nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang maayos ko siyang maiuwi. I stared at him who's now looking mess. I chuckled before getting my phone, taking a photo of him for future purposes.

He groaned before changing his position. I laughed before deciding to take care of him.

"Wait there," I said as I go to his kitchen to get basin. Mabuti na lang at may maligamgam ng tubig sa thermos niya. Naghanap na rin ako ng available na towel.

When I came back, he was in a deep sleep already. I sat on the edge of his bed but I immediately stood up when I realized that he was still wearing his clothes. Baka bumaho siya bukas kapag nagising. As much as I wanted to wake him up and tell him to take a shower, I stopped myself.

He's now wearing only his boxers and I don't know why I felt awkwardness suddenly. He whimpered before grabbing his blanket. I massaged my head before taking that away. How could I wash his body if he's in a blanket? E 'di nagmukha akong naghuhugas ng lumpia na 'yon.

I started to wipe his biceps. Bakit kapag naka-uniform siya, hindi naman siya ganito kabuto-buto? I wiped his arms before going to his face. May mga tuyong luha pa r'on. Wow, he really cried hard.

When I finished wiping his body with warm water, I decided to leave him with no clothes. Hininaan ko na lang ang temperature ng aircon at kinumutan siya.

"I'll go now, Dillion." Even though I knew that he wouldn't answer me, I still bid goodbye to him. A smile plastered on my lips when I saw how his brows frown. Sinampal ko pa nang mahina ang pisngi niya.

Sleepy ass.

"Goodnight."