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"where did you leave your love?"
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(this chapter is a bit triggering, so beware)

— ROSALYN FELT SAD TODAY. Wait no, scratch that, she felt as if the world had hit her with a belt, like her father did. The girl stared off to the ceiling, alone with her own thoughts. Who knew that even though you could feel so high, but drop down so low, that you feel you can't pick yourself up again. Rose didn't even greet Tara for breakfast, heck, she didn't even eat breakfast, apart of her wanted to stay in her bed and die.

She stood up from her bed feeling an invisible wave of pain wash over her. A groan escaped her chapped lips as she scratched her head as she looked over to her clock, it's was 12pm, just in time for lunch. Someone then knocked on her door, and not even being scared that it was burglar, said "Come in, Tara."

The pink obsessed girl opened her door lightly as she saw a pale Rosalyn with messy hair. "How are ya feeling?" Tara asked, taking a seat right next to her on her bed.

Rose sighs, wiping whatever was in her eyes. "Horrible, I don't even feel hungry at this point," The Fray girl explained with a tired tone to her voice. Her bestfriend then starts to rub her back trying to help her. Some days it wouldn't be bad, but she knew that today was really REALLY BAD.

"Remembering the past again?" Tara goes on to question, making Rose remind herself of her horrible, and painful childhood with abusive parents who didn't give a fuck about her.

"Oh, there's not a day in my life that I don't relive that hell hole of a time," Rosalyn blankly replies, tears starting to form in her eyes making her want to die in that moment. In times like this, she didn't want to cry, especially infront of her friends. Maybe it was because she didn't want to be looked as if she was weak and vulnerable, even after all the times she tried to escape it.

She wipes away the single tear, as she sniffles. "I don't know why I do this to myself, torture myself, give myself so much shit, I don't even know why I tell myself I deserve it, I—"

The brunette was soon interrupted by Tara who butted in saying, "You don't deserve to give yourself so much pain, you don't deserve to feel this way yet you fucking do, and it really pains me to see you this way some days, but you just have to go through it ok?" interrupting her, mid sentence. The girl puts her hand on Roses shoulder as more tears continued to appear in her eyes.

She bits her lip, not wanting to sob at Tara. "Thank you Tara, I appreciate you being in my life," the woman thanks, whilst hugging her bestfriend. Tara tightly hugs her back, knowing her friend needed this, she needed this too in a way. As they broke off the hug, Tara wiped away her tears with her thumb.

"Go make yourself lunch, it's already almost 1pm," surging Rose before leaving her with her thoughts again. She went up and grabbed her phone which was still in its place on her desktop, and as she turned it on, her phone was overfilled with texts and calls from Colby. She didn't know why Colby was so concerned for no reason, until she realized what today was, today she and him were suppose to go watch Aquaman with Sam and them at like 4pm, as she seen spam text from the Traphouse Groupchat saying things like "COLBYS WIFE ANSWER NOW," "Rose PWEASE answer" and etc.

Rose went on her phone and was about to press Colby's phone number when she hesitates. Why was she hesitating in that moment? She still wasn't in the right state in mind to go anywhere in public, she still felt extremely sad, why was she still willing to go with them? Her thumb finally pressed it, as it was calling Colby. She brought her phone to her ears as she heard it dialing and immediately answered by Colby.

"Hey, why haven't you been answering your phone all day?" She heard Colby ask through her phone. Rose started to paced around the room trying to find the right answer to explain what happened.

And when she did, the girl spoke her words carefully. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I just- uhm feel really— sad I guess," She answered back stuttering as tears formed again in her eyes. Rosalyn didn't want to sound desperate or anything but she wanted his company, even thought she didn't know why.

The line went quietly for a small moment before his voice rang her ears once more. "Oh are you ok?", he questioned again. That question hit her in a way, she wanted to act ok, but she felt comfortable about him that she should tell the truth yet she didn't want him to see her weak.

She breathed in hardly, letting the tears leave her eyes. "No, not exactly but I don't want to bother you right now—I'll be fine later, I promise."

"Rose..if your not okay, let me help you." Colby responded, his voice growing frantic due to how she put out her words and what she said exactly.

Her head starts to shake and her body begins to nerve up. "Colby. Like I said, I'll be fine—" wanting to continue but got cut off by him.

"Rosalyn Carrie Fray," he starts. "I know we have only known each other for 3 or so months now, but you are my friend, and I never let them go down a sad or dark hole, unless I can be there to help them." her heart had been torn from the inside whilst hearing him say those words. "I'm coming over, whether you like it or not, okay?"

Rosalyn didn't know what to say. Her mind was spinning and all that was there was this cold feeling inside her chest, and it felt empty and sorrowful. It took more longer than expected to spill out a, "Ok" before pressing the red button, ending the call.

As Rose stayed in her bed lifeless, tears streaming down her face, tugging on her pillow like life of death. She thought about her life. Her 5 million subscribers who loved her, her bestfriend who loved her, her other best friends who loved her also, as she begged herself to feel better, thinking about the things she loved. Her door opened to Colby.

Nothing ever in life, made Colby feel more sad than seeing her like this. It dawned on him, that this was the real Rosalyn Fray, all in all fragile. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he started to walk towards her bed to sit down right besides her.

She watches as he plants his body right on the edge of the bed, but facing towards her. Eyes feeling dry from the tears she had cried just awhile ago, Rose was conflicted and careful with her words. "I don't really know how to explain it." She goes off. "I just feel this sense of cold and this deep burdening feeling of sadness planted in my soul. My head hurts, and well—everything in my body hurts."

Colby comes closer to her laid down body and grabs her hand to collide with his. Both feel, this sense of shock as they do, a feeling of warmth whilst collided. "How long have you been like this, Rosalyn? And why didn't you tell me?" Her eyes didn't meet his when he asked her that, as she was too embarrassed to even look directly at him.

"It's not everyday you tell someone you have severe depression and an ongoing case of anxiety." finally looking up to him directly to face him. "I didn't want you to carry more problems at hand."

He sighs softly, looking away from her, ruining the eye contact between them. His thumbs begin to massage her nerves, which indeed helped as she began to calm down. "I know, this may not be enough for you right now, but all I want to say is that I care about you, and I would very much like you to be alive, and well." She exhales and gives him a small smile. "You're someone I love, Rose. Please remember that. And when everything in life seems to be crashing down, I'm literally one call away."

Rosalyn couldn't help but giggle at the last part, and when he grew confused, she implied, "Did you just quote Charlie Puth or—" making both of them laugh at the song reference. And as they were laughing, Colby couldn't help but watch her smile, and realized how much he adored seeing her like this.

As their laughs dialed down, they both stared at one another before Rosalyn starts the conversation again. "Thank you, Colby." her lips still grinning. "Now I feel as if the world isn't as bad as it seems, knowing that people like you are in my life to make it better."

Now it was Colby's turn to smile back as he responded with, "I'm glad you think that way about me." Rose slowly starts to sit up from her bed and move her body close to his and wraps her arms around shoulders as she hugs him. First, Colby is star-struck by her actions, but only took a second to wrap his arms around her waist.

And at that moment, they both felt safe, in each other's arms. Both had their eyes closed, as they enjoyed the feeling they felt, and it almost made them not want to stay close to each other. In a way, Rose and Colby were their own safe places.

—𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚? | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤
@DEVLISHION| KEILANI