Before time, before place, before light and before even dark—for with nought to conceal, there can be no dark—was the void. Limitless and unchanging, until...

"Ow!"

"What's up, mate?"

"Up? There's no up here."

"Right, right, sorry. I forgot, you guys don't have that yet. I mean, what's wrong?"

"Well, since you're so interested, I'll tell you. I only went and stubbed my essence, didn't I?"

"Your essence? Youch. Hate it when that happens."

"Yeah, me too. Still, it's hardly surprising, I s'pose—can't see a thing around here."

"Yeah, I noticed that. What you need is some light, mate."

"Some what?"

"Some light. Lets you see stuff."

"Stuff? Listen, who are you? I haven't not seen you around here before."

"Me? Skapari's the name. From a universe a few dimensions over. Thought I'd just pop over and say hi. You know, to see how things are going."

"Going? There's no going here, either."

"Oh yeah, that's right. No time yet, huh? Don't worry, mate—you'll get there. Once there's a there to get to, that is. And, er...a once to start from. And so on. Hey, what's your name?"

"My name? Uh...dunno. I've never needed a name. How do I get one?"

"However you want, mate—this is your universe, after all. What name do you fancy?"

"Ooh, let me see. A name, a name...I know—what about Name?"

"Name?"

"Yeah, Name."

"Well, I dunno, mate—it's not very...original, is it?"

"Original? I'm the only freaking thing there is. It doesn't get any more original than that."

"Yep, you've got me there. Still, no offence, but Name is a pretty lame name. Hardly very deific, is it? What else have you got?"

"Um...Skapari?"

"No...that's my name. Clearly, that's taken. C'mon, you need to think."

"Do what?"

"Think. You know, the thing that confirms you exist? The whole, 'I think, therefore I am' thing?"

"You am? You am what?"

"Well, I just...am. You know—I exist."

"Of course you bloody exist. I'd hardly be chatting to you if you didn't, would I?"

"Ah, but how do you know you're chatting to me, mate? I mean, really? How do you know I'm not just some figment of your imagination?"

"I'm starting to wish you were."

"No, but think about it. How do you know all of this is real?"

"All of what?"

"All of...yeah, you've got me there. Okay, how do you know anything is real? How do you know you're real?"

"Well, uh...because..."

"Because you're thinking about it, mate! That's how you know. You can't wonder if you're real if you're not real, can you?"

"Hmm...I think therefore I am. Yeah, I can see that. I like it. Righto, Am it is."

"Huh? Am what is?"

"Am me is. That can be my name—Am. I think therefore I am Am."

"What? No, I think you might be missing the point, mate. Either that or you've developed a stutter. You see—"

"Look, no offence...Skapari, was it? No offence, Skapari, but I reckon I'm the one who gets to say what the point is in my universe. And now I've got a name, I feel like it might be time to make a few other changes around here. Like maybe making a here to make the changes around. So, you know, it's been lovely meeting you and all that, but—speaking of universes—shouldn't you maybe be getting back to yours?"

"What? Um, yeah, well, you see...about that. It's not really, ah...convenient for me to go back right now."

"Not convenient? Not convenient? Isn't it your universe?"

"Course it is, mate. I am my universe's number one, undisputed head honcho—don't you worry about that."

"Pleased to hear it. So, what's the hold up?"

"Oh, just a minor technical glitch, is all. Just a little speed-bump on the road to creation, mate."

"A speed-bump?"

"Yeah. See, I might have kind of gotten my matter-antimatter ratio just a little out of whack."

"What, you didn't balance 'em up? Too much of one, not enough of the other? That kind of thing?"

"Nah, mate. Just the opposite, actually. I figured I'd keep things nice and tidy and have just the same amount of each—I'm a bit OCD, that way. You shoulda seen the symmetry. Beautiful, it was—for about a picosecond. Then flash, bang, the whole thing annihilated itself, no more matter, no more anti-matter, and whoops—no more universe."

"You destroyed your own creation? Whoa. Bummer."

"Yeah, it wasn't ideal. Rookie mistake. Still, you gotta take the positives out of these things."

"The positives? Out of being a creator with no creation?"

"Yeah. The way I see it, I'm a free agent now. None of that boring old, "Let there be this" and "I'm gonna smite that" for me. So I'm, ah...doing a bit of a grand tour. Checking out the sights. Or in your case, the lack thereof. Okay if I hang here for a while?"

"Whatevs. But you better brace yourself—'I think therefore I am' is all well and good as a means of verifying reality, but I think maybe 'I create space and time and a bunch of other cool stuff' is even better. So, buckle in, baby—things are about to get interesting. Let there be...um...er..."

"Strong start, mate. Hardly original, but you can't go wrong with the classics. Now you've just gotta bring it home.  Let there be what?"

"Be quiet, I'm thinking. Let there be..."

"Yes?"

"Let there be..."

"C'mon, Am—spit it out."

"Let there be..."

"Look, even without time, this is getting a bit old."

"Shut up, shut up. Let there be..."

"I can give you some suggestions, if you like."

"I said, shut up! Don't think I won't smite you. Now, let there be...STUFF!"