It was June 5, and I thought about just sleeping, then I realized-

Derp: YES TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY!!! WOP WOP

Derp don't interrupt my narrating!

Derp: Wait who are you?

The narrator for this tale.

Derp: Bruh, it's not some fantastic showdown, I'm not even having a party tell next week.

THEN TRY. TRY TO MAKE TO TODAY A DAY THAT WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY.

Derp: My ears! They hurt!

---Later---

Well derpderp, what happened?

Derp: well, I got 200 dollars in total from 6 different people, a keyboard, and a nice box of candy.

Save any sweets for me?

Derp: No.

:(

Derp: Then I played on my computer the rest of the day.

....Really?

Derp: And there were fireworks at the park, but it was a perfect view from my front yard. After the finale of the fireworks, I went to sleep.

So me narrating is useless.

Derp: Yep, bye.

I FAILED!!!!

Derp: MY EARS!!!!