A/N Helloooo again~! It's been a while...

BUT I'M BACK

And it's part 2 time!!! (And also angst time hehehehehehe-*sobbing*)

It starts off as a "Then" chapter but then transitions into a "Once Upon A Time" format.

Enjoy!

10.)

Remy gripped the warm mug of hot cocoa in his hands. It was nearly hot enough to burn, the slight pain keeping Remy present and aware.

It wasn't that he didn't love his moms. They were wonderful.

He remembered being a lonely three-year old at the orphanage. He'd been a troublemaker, already filled with so much anger and sadness at such a young age. Nobody wanted him. Even the other children were scared by his defensive personality.

But he wouldn't let that hurt him, so he acted like he didn't want anyone else either.

The memories were blurry, but one was crystal clear. A woman with brown skin like his and kind eyes and her wife, a lady with a beautifully genuine smile.

They had approached Remy, something nobody else dared to do, and bonded over his self-painted nails and huge leather jacket. They were the first ones to compliment his style. The first ones to celebrate Remy for being himself.

Even after they adopted him, he kept thinking they would take him back. He was careful, obedient and constantly on-edge. It wasn't until a few months later when the pressure became too much that his moms reassured him that Remy was part of their family.

Afterwards, the two became slightly overprotective of their son. Coletté stopped working for a few years in order to better attend to Remy and Eta must've read five billion articles on how to notice red flags in children's behavior.

He could hear them whispering at night about him. They were so constantly worried that he felt the need to prove himself. So Remy started rebelling in tiny ways.

By the time he was in high school, Remy had convinced his Maman to go back to work, insisting he was alright. He and his best friend Roman were a team, they watched each-other's backs. His moms seemed to notice that and reluctantly backed off.

It wasn't until the incident that things got really bad. Now, Remy couldn't seem to live it down.

Someone touched his shoulder and suddenly Remy was wrenched into the present.

"You feeling better? You kinda drifted off for a second." Emile asked kindly. He didn't emphasize his concern, which Remy appreciated.

"Yeah," He lied, smirking and shaking off the lingering unease. "Were you staring, Picani?"

It was a pretty obvious tease but Emile blinked, confused, "Not really, but I'm glad you're doing better. Your Maan's gingerbread is a work of genius!"

Remy smiled back despite himself. Emile and Patton alike kind of had that affect on people. "Yeah, she's been making it since forever. Great, huh?"

Emile nodded happily through a mouthful of gingerbread, "Yeth!"

They were all gathered in the living room, the whole Castillo-Moretti-Chandra-Picani family.

Remy sat on the plush, maroon couch across from the fire with Emile almost shoulder to shoulder next to him. On his right, his Maman was seated in an embroidered purple armchair that had been in her family for generations, eagerly playing patty-cake with Patton who sat on the arm of the chair. To his left, his Maan sat on a second navy blue couch. Logan sat next to her, observing the neat cursive notes of Eta's giant cookbook while she spoke.

On the floor in front of the fire, Remus and Roman were bickering about nothing in particular while Janus and Virgil did the same in a more begrudging, civil way. Both of them had full mugs of mulled wine. They had been the only ones to accept the drink as an alternative to cocoa.

Of course, the children couldn't have some for obvious reasons. Then there was Roman who still persisted that he had work in the morning, Remus who never drank anything less strong then whiskey, Emile who was too child-like to drink a drop of alcohol and Remy. Remy had sworn off any type of intoxication a long time ago.

Eta looked up from her cookbook and smiled at the others, though there was concern in her eyes. "Are you all feeling better? That cold was no joke, I was worried you'd all gotten hypothermia."

Not a super astute assumption, considering the fact that they were all in winter coats, warm hiking clothes and a heated car. Still, nobody pointed that out.

Janus smiled back and dipped his head in a polite nod, "Yes, thank you both very much for your hospitality. I don't know what we would have done to get out of that storm without your help."

Remy tensed a bit. He didn't want his moms to know they'd been in a storm for a very particular reason. Now, he found himself resisting the urge to glare at his friend.

Eta frowned and shared a worried glance with Coletté. "Remy, were you driving through a snow storm?"

The accusation wasn't obvious to the casual observer, but Remy heard it and filled with dread. "I wasn't the one driving Maan. We were coming home from a day trip and one of the cars got stuck is all."

His tone came out unintentionally sharp so that even he winced a little behind his shades.

Everyone fell silent, looking at the Chandras nervously. Eta pursed her lips and Coletté awkwardly cleared her throat. "We're just asking because we care, amour. After your last accident..."

"Yes, well, there was no accident this time. We made it here safely and we stopped driving before the weather got worse, so there really is nothing to worry about." Remy snapped, wishing he could sink into the couch and disappear.

Eta breathed in sharply and everyone stayed quiet for a long moment. Remy tried not to meet anyone's eyes, his mouth stuck in a tight frown.

It was Patton who finally broke the tension, tugging on Coletté's sleeve. "Huh? Oh, yes darling?" She said, giving the small boy a forced smile.

Patton seemed to notice the sense atmosphere, a small groove forming between his two baby blue eyes. But he gave Coletté an equally forced smile all the same, making Remy's chest tighten. "Can I have some more cocoa?"

"Of course!" Coletté shot one more worried look at Remy. Then she took Patton's small mug and walked into the kitchen.

Surprisingly, it was Virgil who got everything back on track. Remy was only able to catch a flash of devastating guilt in Roman's expression before he was roped into a discussion about the latest Marvel movie.

Emile looked like he was about to ask Remy something, but the other man shook his head and excused himself to use the bathroom. The therapist stared after him with concern.

~~~~~Sloppy transition but we won't talk about it!~~~~~~~

When Remy finally drifted to sleep that night, he dreamed of the accident.

Actually, it could be better described as a series of accidents. Starting with a slip up by Roman that he would later regret forever.

It had been a regular day in Roman and Remy's Junior year of high school. Regular, except for the fact that it had been a few weeks since Remus had been kicked out of the Castillo household.

They were in the lunch room before their last period and the end of the day. As always, the two best friends sat together. Roman was on edge and jittery. But you wouldn't know that if you looked at him.

Remy noticed, though, and nudged his friend, handing him half of his vending machine cookie. Another tradition. "Hey, eat something. 'Malnourished' is not a good look for you, babe."

If it had been any other version of Roman, he would have smirked and replied with a witty come back. Or he would have been genuinely upset and given Remy a sad smile before pouring his heart out.

But this time was different. He frowned and took the cookie reluctantly. A stiff "Thanks." was all he said.

Remy felt his worry grow. Roman had been...off for a while now. At first he'd thought that girlfriend of his, Karol, was a bad influence. After all, Roman's parents were behind the whole 'courtship' in the first place. But it was something else. Remy was nearly sure of it.

"Hey, you okay Ro?" Remy said, nudging his friend with his shoulder.

There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Roman said "Stop calling me 'babe.'"

"....What?" Remy said, laughing uneasily. "Why? I've been calling everyone 'babe' since forever. Why do you care now?"

Roman avoided his eyes, glancing at the surrounding tables. "I dunno..." He shifted uncomfortably, "Just...can you stop. Please?"

Remy frowned and took a bite of his cookie. "Alright. Fine."

The two sat in an awkward silence for a while. Neither spoke for the rest of the lunchtime. It was only the beginning of what was to come.

The next day, Roman told Remy he'd be sitting with a different group of people for a while. Some friends of Karol that he was working on a project with.

After that, Roman began to slowly drift away. More calls went unanswered and Remy ate more lunches alone, watching as Roman laughed at a different table with different people. But he knew. He was the only one who knew.

That was not Roman's real laugh.

After a few weeks, Remy was fed up. "You have new friends, huh? Well two can play at that game."

The wrong people. House parties full of them and their drunken laughter. Their attention on Remy and his sharp sense of humor. All of it was a façade of course, but if Roman was so intent on coating himself in plastic then what was Remy to do? He missed his best friend.

However, the day of the phone call was really what sent it all crashing down into an ocean of flames.

Remy had been at a party on a Friday night. Not a rare occurrence. Even when he was still friends with Roman he always liked to get out of his house on the brink of the weekend. It kept his moms from worrying if he was lonely.

As always, he found his 'friends' in a room full of smoke. It stung his eyes and weighed down his lungs when he breathed it in. When he smiled, it was more like moving his lips, as if speaking invisible words.

"He-ey, what's up man?" One of Remy's 'friends' grinned at him from a spot on the floor, placing a pill on his tongue and chugging a beer to wash it down.

Remy smirked back and lightly kicked him on his way past, "Hey loser."

He made his way to a circle of people with several more interactions like this on the way. He was the center of the crowd, adored by all the drunken, drugged and nearly dead. When he reached the circle, Remy flopped down onto the floor next to a girl with electric-green bangs. She saw him and immediately handed over a bottle of god-knows-what.

Remy took it but raised an eyebrow, "Well look at this. Lyssa Greaves finally sharing a bottle. I never thought I'd see the day." He took a sip and tried to ignore how the alcohol burned his throat.

The girl, Lyssa, shrugged and took a pull from her cigarette. "Figured you'd need it. What with that prissy football player spreading stories about you."

Remy snorted, "So Paul's back at it again, huh? What guy did I apparently flirt with this time?"

The people at their school took a special interest in Remy. He was confident and snarky, but also pretty mysterious. No one knew about his personal life so they made stuff up instead: Remy was an orphan. He lived under a bridge. He worked at a record store. He'd stabbed someone once. His parents were terrorists. He was queer as a three dollar bill.

"Nah, it's wasn't Paul. It was that other uniformed sociopath, the one that used to be your best friend?" Lyssa casually blew a stream of white smoke past her lips, stealing a beer while someone's back was turned.

Remy felt his blood turn to ice. "....What?"

"Yeah, what's his name. Ramones? Rolex?"

"Roman." Remy said quietly. "Roman Castillo."

Lyssa nodded, "Yeah. That's the one." She tipped back the beer and swallowed half of it in one gulp. A formidable party trick.

Remy, however, sat with the bottle on his arms like a makeshift teddy bear. All of that false confidence and bitterness he had felt towards his best friend was now on hold for all the shock and disbelief. He reached out and caught Lyssa's arm. "What did he say?"

Lyssa didn't seem to appreciate it. She shoved him off, glaring. "I don't know, man! Something about you being a gay freak and that being the reason why he stopped hanging out with you. He said he was sure you had a crush on him o something else douche-y like that."

The liquid fire in Remy's stomach flared up and scorched his insides. "He...said that?"

"Yeah, he did!" Lyssa said, observing Remy's neutral face. "It's fine though, right? I mean, this isn't the first time."

Remy nodded, but his heart wasn't in it. Yes others had spread stories about him before, but never Roman. It was nearly unbelievable.

He and Roman had been best friends for a long time. All of elementary, middle and high school, the two had watched each other's backs. Even when they were apart, their loyalty never wavered.

But now, Roman had broken an unspoken agreement. He had changed too much.

The betrayal suddenly seemed to add several weights onto Remy's shoulders. He tipped back the bottle of liquid in his hand and chugged, hoping it would burn him from the inside out until he was nothing but a pile of lonely ash.

Lyssa watched on, eyebrows raised. When he put down the bottle and glowered, she quickly looked away. Before she or anyone could talk to him, Remy got up and left the room.

He couldn't remember how, but he ended up on an empty rooftop. The icy cold hit him like a thousand needles, contrasting insanely with the hot, humid climate of the party. Still, Remy ignored it, walking to the edge of the roof and pulling out his phone.

Remy punched in the numbers almost on instinct, having developed a muscle memory for it. There were two seemingly eternal rings before the line connected with a click. "Hello?" A familiar voice answered from the other end, laughing at something Remy hadn't heard. A party was audible in the background.

"Roman." Remy snapped. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

There was a moment of just background noise before he heard a reply. "Remy? Er-What do you mean?" Roman said, false amusement covering his nervousness.

"You know what I mean you massive asshole. Abandoning me and then talking shit behind my back?" Remy growled, quickly flicking away a few angry tears from his eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Roman said, falsely casual.

"Yes you do." Remy said forcefully. He paced at the edge of the roof and then abruptly stopped, looking out at the lamp-like buildings below. "You're being a really shitty friend, Roman. I-I thought we were supposed to look after each other and you...you ruined that." Remy's voice cracked ever so slightly and the tears started to flow steadily.

There was more silence and Remy allowed himself a moment of hope. Maybe Roman would finally come to his senses. Maybe he was still there.

Instead, a forced laugh sounded from the other end of the phone. Roman's tone was low and mean, "Why would I want to be friends with a queer loser like you?"

Remy felt himself go numb.

Now, when people talk of heartbreak, they often speak of the romantic feelings that come with it. However, heartbreak is not just the result of losing a significant other, but the result of losing anyone you hold dear. Someone you love and care for and whom you have a special connection with. A soulmate, if you will.

Remy was demisexual, so romantic love was rare for him and took a lot of time to develop. But he was no stranger to platonic love. He'd deeply connected with three people in his life at the time.

One was his Maan, Eta. An encouraging and supportive figure in Remy's life who would always be there for him when he needed advice or wisdom. She was gentle but honest. And there was never any doubt that she loved her son.

The second was Remy's Maman, Coletté. Always bubbly and present. She could cheer up Remy in an instant just by being there to give him joy. Whatever happened, she was always around, waiting with open arms.

And the third.

The third was Roman. Remy's best friend and his companion since they'd met at age four. Nothing could ever come between them. They had the same sense of humor and the kind of bond that justifies late-night rants over the phone and affectionate insults.

So when he heard the awful words come out of Roman's mouth, he felt his heart splinter and crack. What he'd said was not a joke like usual. It sounded real and it felt like someone had stabbed a stake through his back.

Numbly, Remy pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen. Roman's icon glared back at him, the light harsh in the nighttime darkness. The picture was from before everything. Roman in a prince costume from the local theatre, age fourteen and winking at the camera. He was beaming and legitimately happy. Not at all what he was like now.

His voice had gone silent and Remy just stared for a moment, waiting for Roman to take it back. But after a long moment, Remy was seized by a flash of anger. He clenched his teeth and snapped, "Fine. Have a nice life, Castillo."

Then, before he could stop himself, Remy flung the phone off of the roof with all his strength and glared at it as he watched it fall into the shadows below. His heart was beating rapidly and the blood rushed in his ears as he breathed heavily with rage.

Roman ruined it all. He left him and he left their whole relationship, throwing it all in the trash like it was worth nothing. When Roman would complain about all the social events his parents forced him to go to, Remy would listen, even if it was at an ungodly hour of night. And when Remus was thrown out, Remy had abandoned everything to check up on his friend. He was always on Roman's side even when the world was against them.

Remy thought about every time he'd helped, comforted or cheered up Roman. There were so many to choose from dating back to the first week they met. Where was Roman all the times Remy needed him?

But the worst thing was that Remy couldn't hold on to the anger. Already it was slipping away, giving in to a suffocating sadness. Remy felt his eyes widen and blur with tears. He closed them and clutched the sides of his head, shaking. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..." He whispered under his breath.

Remy inhaled a lungful of cold air and wiped his eyes violently, biting his lip to stop the tears. Before the edge of the rooftop could give him any ideas, Remy spun around and sprinted down the stairs until he was back in the room with all of his 'friends'. The smoke mixed with his tears and made everything unbelievably blurry.

He strode forward with despair-induced resolve and snatched the bottle back from Lyssa.

"Hey-!" She stopped abruptly when she saw his face. "Woah, Rem you ok?"

"Fine." He snapped. Remy wiped away the tears again and then gulped down what remained in the bottle. He quickly grabbed another one and drained it as well.

"Dude, slow down." Lyssa warned, stumbling to her feet. "What's up with you? That much at once could kill you."

Remy dropped his second empty bottle and glared at her with cloudy, tear-stained eyes. "Yeah, well, that's the idea."

Lyssa looked shocked, stepping back uneasily. Remy sniffed, avoiding her gaze. "Just leave me alone." then he pushed past her and grabbed yet another bottle to drain.

He did this for a few more hours, swallowing whatever was handed to him in order to ease the pain. Thoughts of Roman and their long friendship suddenly didn't seem that bad. Remy almost forgot what he'd been so upset about in the first place.

At one point, a bunch of his 'friends' started stumbling down the stairs to leave the party. One of them asked him if he wanted a ride home and he drunkenly nodded, not registering who they were or what he was doing.

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He was alone, without Ramones, and he would be alone forever. What did it matter where he went or what he did? There was no one left to care.

Suddenly he was in a car, crammed in the backseat with several other loud people that smelled of foul, sharp liquid and toxic smoke. His brain was so muddled, he didn't notice that the car was swerving or that the driver had a half-finished bottle of wine in their hand.

There was the sound of screeching tires and a large crash before everything went black.

Then there was darkness. Just darkness for a long, long time.

Remy couldn't tell if they were weeks or months or years. It was like a nightmare were he kept getting stuck. A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

Every now and again he would hear his mothers' voices. They sounded devastated, sobbing and crying and calling for him to wake up. And he tried. Ghost-like tears fell from his nonexistent eyes as his hands of smoke reached for something that wasn't there. But a small part of him held back. A tiny part of him liked the darkness, liked the calm and the quiet away from everything that was painful.

So he waited. He waited for ages and ages and seconds and minutes.

And then he heard his voice.

Remy could almost see him, sitting by him in that stupid letterman jacket and holding onto some pathetic grocery store flowers like they were his lifeline.

"Hey Rem." Roman's voice said. It was ragged and weighed down by guilt. Remy knew he should have felt some kind of triumph at that, but all he felt was despair. Why couldn't he speak? Where had all his words gone? Why had his voice failed him when there was finally so much to say?

"I-I don't know if you can hear me..." Roman continued, the plastic wrapping around the flowers crinkling as he tightened his grip. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. It was a shitty thing to do, staying away so long."

There was a pause. When Roman spoke again, it was obvious he was crying. He sobbed and sniffed in between his words. "Actually, everything I've done to you recently has been shitty."

The boy put his head in his hands. "I-I've been a complete and u-utter asshole and no apology will ever be enough to make up for what a sucky friend I've been." There was another pause as Roman wiped his eyes. At least, Remy assumed that's what he was doing. He'd known him so long, every action was predictable.

"....I-I shouldn't have said all that stuff. Behind your back." Roman said quietly. "Or on that call. It was wrong and I knew it but I was scared my parents would kick me out if I stayed friends with you. Which is stupid and cowardly, I know. But if you had been there the night he left..." Roman broke off, swallowing a fit of sobs

Remy waited, feeling the anger towards his friend slowly drip away with each passing second.

He understood that feeling. Like he was on parole in his own household. Acting a certain way to keep his parents happy because he could get sent away at any moment simply for being who he was. An Indian, demisexual, orphan boy with a sharp personality.

Roman must have felt a similar way. Remy knew, of course, that girls didn't catch his friend's eye the way they should. Remus getting thrown onto the streets must have been a wake up call for him. He wasn't safe just because he was his parents' favorite. He was just as dispensable as an old DVD.

That must've been terrifying.

"I don't expect you forgive me." Roman said, his voice small and shaky. "I don't expect you to be my friend again, even though I want that more than anything." His voice cracked and he took a deep breath. "But please Remy... wake up."

There was quiet and then something sparked among the darkness. Remy looked towards it and then took a step. Suddenly, he could feel his legs, resting on the stiff hospital bed. One of his ankles was wrapped in a cast.

Remy focused and he could feel his arms as well. They were covered in concrete burns and scratches, but they still felt better then the hollowness Remy had been living in all that time.

Bit by bit, different pieces of his body came back online. He could feel the bandages on his torso and the huge bruise on his shoulder. Even the pain, which was awful, was still better then nothing. Because it was real. It meant Remy was still alive and that he had a second chance.

Finally, he blinked.

When he opened his eyes, there was a moment of that blurriness from before. For a second, he thought he was still in that smoke-filled room, his eyes full of tears and his heart heavy with sorrow. But then he blinked again and everything came into focus.

The hospital room was devastatingly beige and a painting of a cat in a nurse's outfit was the first thing he saw. Staring back at him from its solid, black picture frame.

The light was far too bright so he shifted his gaze away. And that's when he saw him.

Roman was sitting at his bedside, head down on the covers and sobbing quietly. "Wake up." he mumbled miserably, repeating it over and over again. "Please wake up, Remy."

Remy felt his lips twitch into a smile. Then he used all his strength to speak. "You called, babe?"

Roman jumped, sitting up in his chair and looking around. His tearful eyes found Remy's and his mouth fell open. There was a beat of shocked silence before he finally found his voice. "R-Remy?"

"The one and only." Remy grinned weakly. Then his expression to mock-seriousness. "You and I have to have some words, asshat."

"Wh-" Roman sputtered. He shook his head slowly, trying to resist a smile forming on his face. "I-uh, of course. I was a horrible friend."

"You were."

"You have very right to be mad at me."

"I do."

"Nothing will ever make up for what I did."

"No it will not."

"I-I could leave if you don't want me to be here."

At this, Remy rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot. You're my best friend."

Roman laughed miserably, his eyes full of tears again. He avoided Remy's eyes. "Even after everything I did?"

"Yeah." Remy said genuinely. Then he narrowed his eyes. "But if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll burn all your Disney Merchandise."

"That's fair." Roman said, laughing wetly.

"Wow, you really did miss me."

Roman rolled his eyes and hugged his friend. "Shut up."

Remy relaxed into his embrace, lifting an arm to hug him back.

And in that moment, he was glad for everything. For the light and the texture of the sheets and the beeping of the heart monitor and his best friend's shallow breaths. For being wanted enough that he could climb out of the darkness with the force of it.

Remy smiled and buried his face in Roman's shoulder.

"Just this once."

A/N
*crying*
For those of you wondering, Remy was in a coma for a month and a half. There were some lasting affects, but I'll get into that later.
See you all soon ;)

DON'T DIE

~Prongs💙