"Steve, I can't let you leave, come on.  Just go take out your frustration on the gym or something," Tony offered, though he was just as filled with anxious energy.  "As much as I hate to say it, we have to wait.  We have to give him a shot to do this on his own.  If we make one wrong step, we don't know what they'll do. I can't risk that, so we wait."

"Wait for what?  For body bags to be dropped on the front step? How can you possibly be this calm? This isn't like you."

"I gave my word."

"Well, that's just perfect," Steve scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.  "I try to get you and Buck to get along for months to just be civil to each other, and you can't figure it out.  All of the sudden I'm being kept in the dark and you two are secret pals."

"You're kidding me, right?" Tony began to unravel.  He was barely holding on as it was, and if the Captain was trying to pick a fight, this really wasn't the time.  "Seriously, you're kidding?  We're nowhere near pals, alright?  If your old war buddy wasn't here, this wouldn't be happening.  If the universe wasn't such a dick to make him her soulmate, then I'd be packing for my honeymoon right now.  No, Steve, to hell with your friend.  There's only one person that I care about seeing walk through that door again, and goddammit, it had better be her."

~~~

You kept your eyes closed while Bucky worked on the mess of wires and straps that held you to the chair, trying to free you from an instant death.  With each wire pulled free, just when he saw a glimmer of hope, it would be connected to a trigger and he had to start all over.  He thought that there would at least be some dummy wires to throw him off a little and to toy with him, but no.  They were all live and ready to kill.

"You can't do it, can you?"

"I will," he whispered as he chewed on his lip, deep in thought.  "I will...I just need a minute.  There's a way to disarm it...I'll figure it out."

"Buck, if this goes off-"

"It won't."

"It'll destroy most of Brooklyn."

"I'm not doing this for Brooklyn," he snapped.

You could feel your hands begin to shake, and you knew that he could see them as they were tied at your back.  The sensation in them was beginning to dull to nearly nothing now, so you couldn't stop the tremor if you tried.  Some of it was fear, obviously, but what you didn't know was if the fear was for yourself, or if it was for Bucky.  His movements became frantic again, as if he had found a miracle to work with him, but he slowed again and you began the rollercoaster of emotions all over.  It was only when you felt the warmth of his hand over yours that you realized that you may have been right, and he was coming to agree.

He couldn't do it.

"Bucky...don't do this."

"Alright, you win," he called out to no one in particular, his voice booming throughout his small apartment.  "I can't take her place, and I have no idea which line to cut.  I'm not about to let (Y/N) be terrorized just so you can have the Soldier back, so it's over.  You've got me, so let's get this over with."

Your heart stopped first, at the sound of utter defeat that his voice carried, and the pain of understanding exactly in every detail what he was giving himself up to do.  Bucky was giving himself up to the life he had fought so hard to leave behind, and he was doing it for you.  He released your hand and wouldn't so much as look at you now, as if he were trying to begin the disconnect from the second that his mind was made up.  "Bucky...please, there has to be another way.  If we call Tony-"

"Then you're definitely not getting out of here alive.  This is the only shot we get."

The sounds of heavy footsteps suddenly began to fill the hallway just outside, their numbers multiplying over and over until it was almost deafening, the rhythm of their boots hitting the old stairways affecting the beat of your own heart with them. But even amongst that, there was one unmistakable sound that you would know anywhere, and it terrified you every time you had heard it.  Bucky took a step back and stood at your side when the door opened, the sound of the metal plates of his arm shifting and sending a chill through you.

"I love you, (Y/N)," he whispered.  "Please, don't ever feel guilty about this, okay?  If I try to connect, push me away.  I don't want you to see what I'll become.  Have Wanda block me, we know she can do it.  Remember me like this and promise me that you won't try to get me out again.  I need that promise from you."

"No.  I won't give it."

"(Y/N), I'm doing this for you.  Do that for me.  Look the other way."

"Well, well, well, I must say that I'm both impressed and disappointed all at once," the Hydra Commander smiled as he entered the room.  "Impressed that you've come to see that running is an option that you will never have.  Disappointed that you forgot how to disarm a bomb.  We'll make sure that we get that back into your programming."  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, tapping the screen quickly before dropping it back in.  "I'm also disgusted at the feelings being vomited up in here," he stared down at you, "as if you could honestly believe that he could love you in any way.  He's a monster, (Y/N).  That is all he is and ever will be."

"You have no idea who he is," you answered, staring the man down with a cold glare.  He took a step closer and you could see Bucky's hand clench in reflex, but he made no move to intervene.  The man reached down and unsnapped one of the harnesses holding the bomb to you, releasing it to allow it to drop to the floor, no longer armed. 

"Go home to your new husband, (Y/N) Stark."

He waved to the other men in the room, two of them taking positions to stand behind you, and two more on either side of Bucky.  They grabbed his arms and pulled him towards the door, and he didn't even fight them. He was completely broken, and you couldn't help but feel like you were the one who had shattered him.  Yes, he was making this choice, but he was making it to save you.  "Bucky, please, don't go with them!"

But he didn't say anything in reply, and he didn't turn to face you again.  It was as if he didn't hear you, but you knew full well that he did. You knew that he heard every scream of your voice to him, begging him to just turn around.  He had to have heard you fighting the guards that had tried to keep ahold of you so that you wouldn't try to interfere, and the definitive win when you slammed the final man to his back hard enough to knock him out cold.  You knew he heard, but when you spun your body around to look for him, he was gone.

~~~

"Alright, if I don't hear something in the next thirty minutes, I'm going," Steve said as he stood firm like a brick wall, staring at the door over Tony's shoulder when his friend had tried to block his path.  "You can either let me go and come with me, or you can just go ahead and lie down now so I can step over you.  It would really save me a lot of work."

"You don't even know where you're going, Cap."

"I'm going to Bucky's apartment in Brooklyn," he shrugged, matter of fact.  "Did you seriously think that I hadn't put a tracker in that old uniform the minute he moved in here?  I know that he told you to hold us back, but I've given both of you more than enough time...to...uh, Tony?" Steve halted, rushing to the door in an almost immediate wave of panic, "Tony come on!"

Tony jarred and turned to the door, the bowtie he still had hanging from his neck finally falling away at the motion.  He hadn't even thought to change out of his tux yet, when he barely had the will and wherewithal to just stay standing upright.  When his eyes followed Steve and his brain caught up with them, he bolted into action, rushing to meet you when you heavily pulled your way into the building with a completely exhausted body that had all but given up. 

"(Y/N)?" he gasped, taking you in his arms in a rush.  "Oh my god, (Y/N), are you okay?  Did they hurt you?  Honey, I'm so sorry, I tried to hold on.  Come in here, you should sit down."

"He wouldn't listen," you mumbled, as if to yourself.  You didn't even return Tony's embrace, but allowed him to lead you to a chair in the living room.  "They took him, and he wouldn't listen to me.  He wouldn't even look at me.  Oh...yeah," you paused, dropping the heavy vest of explosives that you had worn carelessly at your feet for them to take, "here.  It's disabled.  I'm pretty sure."

"Holy-" Clint jumped up, along with everyone else in the room, all of them taking hurried steps back and clumsily tripping over furniture to get away, while you still sat motionless and lost in thought.  "I think I speak for all of us when I say, what the shit, (Y/N)?"

"I couldn't leave it there. If it really was live, it would've-"

"Taken out half of Brooklyn," Steve finished for you.  The look you gave him at both his interruption and the revelation you had just been hit with left him almost wishing for the bomb to go off instead.

"You knew where we were?" you whispered angrily.

"Once he left the compound, yes, I did.  I had a tracker in his uniform-"

"And you didn't try to go after him?!"  Now you were completely incensed, standing up to face the Captain toe-to-toe.  His height and stature would usually give you a little pause, but today it meant nothing, and you began to feel much stronger.  "Why aren't you going after him now?!"

Tony cleared his throat nervously and willingly took the next hit.  "Sweetheart, he told us not to."

"Since when in the hell do you listen to Bucky?!"  You looked around to each face in the room, and you wondered how many of them were in on this genius plan.  It appeared to be all of them, from the expressions they were wearing, but you weren't sure if it were real or what you had led yourself to believe in the stress and pain of it all.  "Alright then Rogers, where did they take him?"

"(Y/N)-"

"Don't tell me that you're gonna follow this stupid-ass plan too?  There's no way that you're okay with Bucky going back to that freak show circus of theirs."  All of this arguing and raging emotion was wearing you out even more, and you were already exhausted after a day that had begun nearly 24-hours before.  The fatigue was cascading over your and leaving your mind hazy, but you couldn't afford to stop; Bucky was quickly running out of time.  "Lovely, I'm getting a headache from all of this bullshit."

"Yes, I'm going after him, I have a plan," Steve clarified.  "We needed you safe first because we weren't going to risk you both."

"Great.   I'm safe, and I'm in," you nodded.  "Where are we going?"

"You're going to go upstairs and sleep, (Y/N)."  Tony moved to stand at your side, gently taking your hand uncharacteristically meekly. "Steve can update us in the morning-"

"Or...Steve can update me right now so I can suit up.  I'm only gonna ask this one more time.  Where are we going?"

"Honey-"

"FRIDAY?!"

"NO, FRIDAY, don't give her any information on Bucky or Steve, that's a direct order!"

"Yes, boss."

"Dammit," you groaned, rubbing your temples to try to ease your pain, "why is it so important that I stay here?"

"You've been awake almost 24-hours," Tony answered, "and in that time you've been kidnapped and covered in explosives while your soulmate was abducted back into terrorism right before your eyes.  Oh yeah, and you married me somewhere in there."

"Not sure which is worse," you tried, hoping to lighten the mood the tiniest bit and knowing that after you gave in an actually slept, it was likely that Steve and Tony would tell you everything you wanted to know.  All you had to do was play along.  "Okay, does anyone have any aspirin?  My head is pounding, so maybe you're right and I do need...t-to sleep..." your voice faded, and you slid out of the chair and onto the floor, holding your head tighter with no relief as the waves of pain grew stronger and closer together like a lightning bolt through the center of your skull.

"Honey, maybe we should take you to the hospital?  We have no idea what they did to you when they took you-"

You held up a tremulous hand and shook your head no, which he took as a denial of him, but really you couldn't answer Tony because you couldn't speak at all.  Inside your head, under the pain the drilled into your brain like a worn-down screwdriver, the screaming was too loud to hear your own thoughts.  The screaming was so loud that the thoughts you could make out weren't even your own anymore.  You forced your eyes open, now filled with tears of comprehension, looking to Steve first, then to Tony, though neither man could help you.

They couldn't help him, either.

"Steve...it's Buck...they've already started."