A/N: I've been REALLY obsessed with Melanie Martinez lately. So...expect the next chapters to maybe have one of her songs.
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Natasha wasn't emotional. She was independent. An introvert would be going to far. A monster? Out of the question.
Then why did her heart feel like it was breaking into millions of tiny, red pieces?
Her face was stoic, yet she felt even more broken on the inside. Those walls, those crumbled up and cracked walls, now put back in place like a fresh coat of cement was all they needed.
This didn't stop her from clutching a necklace.
A necklace he bought.
When no one was looking, she loosen it up and stare at the pristine pattern of a heart. A heart circling a star.
A blue star, shinning in the center of her heart. A sign that he was still with her, even on different sides.
She warned him. Told him to stay out of it. Told him to stop.
But, he wouldn't be her Steve if he did.
When she clutched the necklace, she smiles and sheds only one tear. Once a week for every month away from him. Every month she has to suffer, watching him be punched to the ground by Tony. It's only by sheer force that she doesn't break away from the fighting to just...to just save him.
It isn't her place, or her time to do that.
But she wishes, she hopes; they never come true. Her dreams never were real.
Her inner voice, the one tempting to murder and lie and cheat, tells her to just kill him. Be done with the suffering. Be done with all of this drama. Stand in the darkest corner and strike when he least expects it.
The inner voice tempts her, drawing her in closer and closer. But her heart drags her out.
Her damaged heart.
Natasha's brain thinks that Steve never loved her, as if it was all a joke. Like she was a piece of discarded cake.
Her heart is what keeps her afloat. Her heart is what brings her back to his apartment to see him at night, watching through the window with Liho curled up on her lap.
How she longs to be in the warmth of his arms and wishes to cherish the feeling of a ring on her finger. To know that she's loved is what her heart wants.
But what the heart wants what it wants is twisted. Twisted in a way so far she can feel the pain deep inside her chest. A chain dragging her down into the depths of the ocean; never to be found and littered with debris and scars.
Twisted
Twisted
Twisted
"Stop!" She cries. "Stop!"
They never truly go away, do they Natasha?
She clenches her hands into a fist and shuts her eyes so tight she sees stars. Her breathing speeds up until she's almost hyperventilating.
"Too much! Too much!" She screams.
Twisted
Twisted
TWISTED!
She wakes up in cold sweat, her bed covers pushed off and the feeling of loneliness sweeps in like a storm.
"I'm alone, I always am." Natasha whispers to herself, Liho meows up at her, being her only companion at the moment.
She smiles at the cat, and reaches down to bring him to her chest.
The heat coming from him is welcoming, and Natasha felt the dream ebbing away, the smoke of the nightmare draining out of her head, too.
Did she want to remember? Did she even want to try? Natasha just wanted Steve back in the worst way possible, or she felt like dying.
Still clutching Liho, she made her way through the darkness of her apartment to stop at a picture frame. The one of Steve proposing to her. Taking a knife from a secret compartment, Natasha stabbed the picture, and Liho let out a screech from the noise and lept out of her hands, leaving behind deep claw marks.
She hissed in pain and gritted her teeth, dropping the knife to clutch the wound. Three gashes lay from where Liho got her, and quickly running to her bathroom to get a medkit. Cleaning the wound and putting white tape on it, she headed back into the kitchen to clean up her mistake.
Lightning flashed and rain pelted her window, and Natasha stared at the glass and blood stained knife and floor on the ground.
Her reflection was dimly lit, when the lightning flashed, she saw her cold, dead eyes on the blood.
I don't regret anything at all
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A/N: I tried my best to write a different type chapter then my usual. What do y'all think? Good? Bad? Meh? I'm wondering if I should keep writing like this, for it was a very...interesting plot for me to write.......

Happy Reading!
~Forever RedWind