8: 15

     *Tick tock, tick tock*

     A moody sunday morning, the sun dimmed like it was mid-night, the birds aren't active in this weather anymore, prephaps they already on guard for suvival or had already taken in the cold embrace of the passed night.

  "Damn... i think i can see one of them..." 

    There is a nest nearby, well... it was a nest, now just a small grave as i can see the snow covered the whole thing.

     Whatever happend, it has no real effect on me, i don't even like those birds that just interupt my morning slumber each time... but still... i am not heartless, i felt at least i could have done anything to save them, but it have already done, now everything is just the past and not worthy enough to feel guilty about.

     *Tick tock, tick tock*

      In deep thoughts of the winter day, a warm drink of coffee helps me get out over the early weary morning , even in this cabin, the cold still have some grip over me, over everything...

      There is no ray of sunshine today, maybe it is just too much to ask, maybe that is just how things are, i can't complain, since i would only just keep myself in this place anyways.

     "Right..." 

     The only way to even descride the situation behind the window glass is just plain white, even i can't see the black wood or even a hint of green on the pines, like everything from the outside is wiped out, like the world went for a shortcut and straight to the end of everything.

     *Tick tock, tick tock* 

     The whiteness is somewhat... calming? well it should be, since there isn't really anything for the mind to process, but why? why do i still feel so... unerving? i know my face is as stoic as ever but i can always felt something is wrong, like it is too calm, maybe my paranoia is getting the best of me, maybe it is the isolation, whatever it is, i can still senses something is under that innocent white snow, maybe a white hare or a bear waiting for me at door...

     "That just got really stupid..." 

     Deafening slience, as the world is just closed off from this place, no sounds of winds leaking in, only the creaking floorboard of my light footsteps, the breath under my mouth and the surping of the warm coffee contact to my lips accompanying me in this atmosphere of nothing.  only me and outside.

    *Tick tock, tick tock*

    Despite this boring life, at least i am safe.

    "Yeah... safe..."

    Rest easy now as i have lay down to the leather couch of mine, the warm inviting soft place to ease my little head as i just stop connecting to this world, closing my eyes, trying my best to fall back.

    "Nothing can even harm me now... i got enough money... food and other things to  to survive at least three months now... maybe i should take a page from the bears books... maybe..."

      Reasure myself as i can confirm that this could have been worse, as i am still in this warm state while the animals outside is fending for their lives, well... that isn't really that good of a thought at all. 

      *Tick tock, tick tock*

      As the trains of my thinking got more and more overly complicated, as the tracks got sideways and back, as i trying my best to ignore it. I just can't. Sure i am safe, warm and even have electricity to entertain, i am still missing something, something important to my being, my cells and body is making me remember it, the thing that humans still have connection the an animal... a companion.

      " I am all alone"

      "Damn it... it is already half an hour now..."

      That pendulum cloak, echoing, turning back and forth. Nagging me.

      Seem like i can't even get though the day like this... maybe fresh air would do the trick, maybe it would be safe as long as the sun haven't come down yet.

       I did say a bear could be outside, but that would be unrealistic at best and abnormal at worst. This is winter, so most predators avoid going out of hiding already, for bears they should be hibernating, sleeping like motionless bouders in their caves now. So we just need to avoid any caves.

        The only concern should be getting to night and having no water to drink, since the night is the best stage for wolves to come and hunt, and ironicly that dehydration is a much more common thing in this winter woods, since the air is both stale and freezing.

        "... I am really going crazy, aren't i?"

       *Tick tock, tick tock*

        Doing this is just unnecessary, it could cost me my damn life if i just got a bit careless, this is stupid, but... i can't think of anything to calm my nerves anymore... i am getting desperated now...

        *Tick tock*

        "Fine!" i yelled at the clock that kept on nagging me

       As my mind keep on nagging me, with the clock being it's supporter. I carry up my white fur coat, taken the thermostat and now open that door to the vast unknown.