Percy Jackson

That was... Greatly needed.

I felt like I was going to throw up almost the entire time, but that needed to happen. In hindsight.

Because I'm too much of a piece of shit to bring it up myself.

Maybe twenty minutes after Nico left, Rome and I finally got to hang out and just relax for a bit before I fell asleep because it's been a long day and it's been a lot emotionally. Mentally.

Waking up in the morning was peaceful. Mom was out of town yesterday and today for book stuff so it's just us and I like it when it's just us at times like this. Sun coming through the window, the little bite of cold contrast when my hand slips out from the blanket.

"Good morning," Rome whispered as his hand moved the hair away from my face. "did you sleep okay?"

Yawning, I nodded my head.

"Morning," I returned, smiling a bit up at my boyfriend who— somehow, isn't sick of me yet. "You sleep good?"

"I always do in your bed," he reminded me and it made me blush. "do you still want to go out today? Are you feelin up to it still?"

"Yeah, of course!" I insisited, knowing that if I stay here I'm just going to feel even worse and shittier all day and it's going to suck.

Today can be good.

I think I might deserve a good day.

Maybe.

•••
Nico di Angelo

It's really hard, falling out of love with somebody.

I got back from Percy's and nobody really said anything, Will just asked after dinner if things were good between Percy and I for sure and I told him yeah, things were good. The air was cleared.

Jason, the next day, choice violence.

Metaphorically speaking, that is.

"So," Jason said as we were hanging out in my cabin, him having just finished telling me about the plan he has so far for Piper's birthday. "How are you and Will?"

But he never asks about Will.

Not like that, at least.

"Will and I?" I returned and he nodded his head. "We're fine. Why?"

He shrugged.

"Just curious, you don't talk about him lot," the son of Jupiter pointed out to me something I myself didn't really think much about until now. "I guess I was just used to hearing about Percy like, all the time."

But I scoffed and rolled my eyes at that claim.

"I did not talk about him that much."

"You did to me," Jason insisted. "He like, always got brought up, even if you weren't talking about how madly in love you were. It was that a lot, though. You being frustrated about giving more than two shits about him or you being frustrated because of how good he'd look on a given say."

"Oh, shut up," I told him, punching Jason's arm. "You're just making me sound like a lovesick teen, it's gross."

Smiling a little, Jason chuckled.

"I mean, you definitely were," he reminded me and I rolled my eyes again. "You didn't let it show to anyone else, but you were. There's nothing wrong with it, Nico, I don't know how many times I have to tell you that. Hazel and Frank have been lovesick, Percy ranted to Piper about how annoying it was to watch them develop feelings for each other like that. Said he almost felt bad for Grover having to go through it with him and Annabeth, apparently. Even though that... Ended up not being true."

He paused for a moment, giving me a hesitant look.

"How are you feeling about that, by the way?" And it's something I've never talked about before. "We found out like... Right around the same time you and Will got together, right? Not long after we got back."

But I just shrugged.

"I mean I'm definitely happy for him, that he's happy," I voiced to the Roman demigod, leaning back into the couch I was sitting on. "I also feel really bad because of what he went through with Annabeth. Losing a best friend like that must fucking suck. But I... I wonder if any of the older demigod knew, sometimes. Grover and Annabeth didn't know, he was pretty persistent that campers didn't know about it."

"Him being gay?"

I shook my head.

"Dating a mortal," I corrected Jason. "It's a big deal here to let a mortal in to your life like that. Which, I logically understand why. It's risky, not just for you but for the other person because one day you might never go home and they'll never know why. It can hurt to know your putting somebody through that risk when you can't tell them and..."

My voice drifted.

"I was mostly surprised to find out how long they'd dated," I was honest about that. "I remember when Thalia joined the hunt like right before turning 15, and after Bianca died, Annabeth got really excited because it meant there's ways to escape the Great Prophecy and she told Percy that he could make sure, somehow, that he's not who it's about. He could pass it down to me and he refused the idea like, immediately. So to find out that they got together when he was like 15, before the prophecy, knowing that his death was presumed for his 16th birthday... I guess he had said goodbye in a way and he had a proper one set up for after it happened but..."

I shrugged because it's hard and it's complicated and had I been in Rome's place I would've been devastated probably even more than I'd be here.

Here I knew to expect it. I had mental preparation to lose him. To know that at least he was at peace with it.

Rome wouldn't have that.

"To think about what could've happened if he died," I went on. "like, at least I had my own time to mentally prepare myself for him being gone. I knew to expect it and I knew that he'd accepted it with open arms that he was going to die. If I really wanted to, if my dad allowed me to, I could've even summoned him I really needed it. Rome wouldn't have that, though, right? He wouldn't have understood what happened. He wouldn't have been able to say goodbye to his fucking boyfriend before he was gone forever. He wouldn't get the luxury to know that he was definitely going to Elysium. To him it'd be super fucking traumatizing, probably, to get that call from Percy's parents to tell him about the funeral. To tell them that there was an accident."

Pausing again, I tried to collect my thoughts.

"So do I envy Rome? A lot of the time, yeah," I told Jason. "Will is really sweet but I don't think we're going to last with how clingy he is, even after I've tried setting boundaries. Do I still have feelings for Percy? Yeah, but they're slowly going away. Falling out of love takes time, right? But after coming back, seeing then and seeing what Percy's been going through, I'm glad that it's Rome or literally any mortal and not me because he needs that. He needs something that he can still have when he leaves here, because I don't think that he's going to really stay in contact with all of us after he leaves."

"Why do you say that?"

"Why don't I?" I returned and sighed again. "he could be a god right now, Jason. And I don't mean like he could dethrone a god, I mean he was offered to become a god after the second titan war last year. And he turned it down because he said he was 16 and he just wanted to be a kid. If he wanted this to be in his life after high school, I wouldn't have heard him crying in his room on the Argo II most nights and then have him tell me that he's okay and that he's just tired the like two times I asked. People respond to what happens here very differently and maybe there were some other external factors going on, but this place took Percy's heart and his spirit and crushed it. It drained him and he's tired and he can't be here if it's not slowing down. He'd probably kill himself."

But Jason recalled Percy's admittance to the hospital, so he understood what I meant with that.

Sometimes you can only handle do much and who knows what he went through in his childhood before now.

Not me, for sure. He avoids talking about his childhood before he met Grover.

It makes me worry a lot, realizing those sorts of things.

Falling out of love isn't easy, but it's possible.

After all, I don't think I could love him the way Rome does.

The way he deserves to be loved.

The way he needs to be loved.