83

Randhir stormed inside the kitchen and grabbed Sanyukta's shoulders angrily. She looked down, feeling upset that he had seen her like this.

"You were going to kill yourself?" he hissed.

She looked down and nodded.

Randhir just pulled her close to him, hugging her tightly. Sanyukta leaned into his embrace, feeling safe in his arms. Maybe this was what it took for him to accept her... but what could they do now? Her marriage was in the evening. Randhir would not be able to convince his parents now. It was too late.

"You're a coward," he hissed into her ear.

She wrapped her arms around him and allowed her tears to fall onto his neck.

"I know," she replied, her voice cracking.

"You don't have any right to take away your own life. Do you understand?" he asked her.

"I know," she whispered, "But I don't want to marry Rehaan."

Randhir broke the embrace and cupped her face in his hands.

"I don't care what you want to do or not," Randhir snapped. "You can't kill yourself."

"Okay," she said weakly, looking up into his eyes.

Randhir leaned towards her and rested his forehead on hers.

"Can you save me?" she asked him softly.

"No," he replied. "You deserve punishment... and you don't deserve an escape."

"So you don't actually care?" she asked him painfully. "If I killed myself, you only care that I didn't get punishment? Not that you lost me?"

"I don't care," he denied flatly.

Sanyukta sniffled.

"That's okay," she told him. "You don't have to care about me... but Randhir, can I ask something of you? Just one last favour?"

Randhir let go of her and stepped back, eyeing her suspiciously.

"What?" he asked.

"Will you please let me be with you tonight?" she asked him painfully. "From tomorrow I'll be someone else's. I want to experience everything with you first."

Then she broke down crying and Randhir watched her with shock, his heart aching, but also not having it in him to trust her again.

"You want me to have sex with you?" he asked.

She looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes, I - I want to have s - sex with you," she replied affirmatively through her tears.

84

Randhir took her hand and lead her upstairs with him. They went into her room in case someone came looking for her. At least Randhir could hide and she would be here to answer the door. After locking the door, Randhir took her in his arms and hugged her tightly, his own eyes filling with tears. Sanyukta thought she could melt in his arms and just not have to wake up tomorrow.

"I don't want to marry him," she told him fearfully.

Randhir broke the embrace and brushed her hair to the side before leaning towards her and kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes, feeling love emanating from that kiss... and he claimed he didn't love her? Why did he lie to her?

"You deserve it," he replied to her. "He's going to punish you better than I ever could."

"How?" she squeaked.

"He won't be manipulated by you for starters. You're manipulating me right now... and I'm letting you do it," he whispered to her.

"Why are you letting me do it?" she asked him softly.

"I didn't come here to have sex with you," he then told her. "I came here to tell you that I'm not going to make things easier for you."

"I know you hate me. You have every right to hate me after what I've done... but Randhir, I will die. Without you, I will die," she told him. "So please make things a little less painful for me. Let me be with you first."

"You were a competition in the beginning for me and Rehaan. I wanted to get to you first... but now I won't, because I don't need you," he hissed. "But I will save you from this marriage."

"What?" she asked, shocked by his sudden change of heart.

He looked into her eyes and smiled at her.

"Yes. I'll save you from this marriage," he told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you're right. Only I get to hurt you," Randhir told her. "I'll sleep next to you tonight, but we don't need to have sex. We don't need to rush."

Sanyukta smiled with relief and hugged him. She didn't know how he would save her, but for the first time in her life, she was trusting him.

Little did she know what was really going on in Randhir's mind.

85

That night, Randhir and Sanyukta lay in bed together. He took her hand and looked at her mehndi, running his fingers across her palm.

"Do you see your name?" Sanyukta asked him softly.

Randhir turned to look at her and smiled.

"An R?" he asked.

"R for Randhir," she replied.

Randhir brought her palm to his lips and kissed it softly. Sanyukta smiled and looked at him with admiration.

"I love you," she told him softly.

"I love you too," Randhir replied to her, making her insides fill with warmth.

He had used this line on Vidhushi so many times... he had mastered telling someone he loved them by now.

"I'm so happy," she told him.

He let go of her hand and turned on the bed to face her. Then he brought his hand up to her cheek and caressed it, before leaning towards her and kissing her on the lips.

"I'm sorry for everything I did," she apologized, her eyes filling with tears. "I know I hurt you a lot. I promise I didn't know it would be like this."

"It's okay," he murmured, and then pushed her back on the bed, before kissing her more deeply.

Sanyukta returned the kiss, her hands wrapping around his neck.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" she asked him, breaking the kiss.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her.

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

"Then don't worry," he replied with a smile and then pressed his lips against hers again, savouring the taste of her mouth on his... for perhaps the last time.

After he finished kissing her, he laid back down next to her and Sanyukta leaned into him, a dreamy smile on her face. His change of heart had caught her by surprise, but she trusted him... his love was so clear that it couldn't be a lie.

There was no way he would let her marry Rehaan when he loved her so much... right? He wouldn't break her trust. She just smiled and shook off the doubtful thoughts.

"I trust you," she murmured as he began to snore lightly next to her.

Sanyukta fell asleep too, hoping that tomorrow would pass quickly and she would be with Randhir forever.

86

The next morning when Sanyukta woke up, Randhir was already gone. She smiled and got up. After she got ready and left the room to have breakfast, she noticed Parth in the dining room, looking down. It was like he was dreading this day. Upon noticing the smile on Sanyukta's face, Parth looked surprised.

"Are you okay?" Parth asked. "Do you have a fever? Why are you smiling? It's doomsday!"

Sanyukta took her plate to the table and sat next to him.

"I'm fine. Don't take stress. Everything will be okay," Sanyukta told him, still smiling.

"Everything will be okay? Are you crazy?" Parth asked. "You're marrying Rehaan and you're saying everything will be okay?"

"Yes," Sanyukta replied simply.

"You have gone insane!" Parth pointed out.

Sanyukta chuckled.

"You're laughing too!" Parth gasped.

"You're too sweet," Sanyukta said with a smile. "By the way, have you seen Randhir?"

"Yeah he left early in the morning to go out. I don't know where," Parth said with a shrug.

"Oh. Okay," Sanyukta replied. "What are you doing up so early anyways?"

"I couldn't sleep," Parth told her, looking upset.

"It'll be okay. Trust me," Sanyukta urged.

Parth looked up at her with hope in his eyes.

"I really hope you're right," Parth told her. "I feel bad for you and Randhir... and Rehaan is just doing all this to impress dad by acting smart."

"I don't know what's going to happen Parth... but whatever happens, will be for the best," Sanyukta told him reassuringly.

Her definition of "best" perhaps didn't match the universal one.

87

Randhir had gone to see Vidhushi early in the morning. He couldn't stay in his house. If he stayed there, he knew that he wouldn't be able to put up with what he was about to do.

He wanted to break her trust, just like she broke his. He already decided that he wasn't going to marry her and there was no way that he was going to save her from marrying Rehaan. All he wanted to do was make it more painful for her.

He wanted to show her how it felt to have someone close to you break you. Now that he was doing that, it was like he was going through the pain instead of her.

Why was it that hurting her caused him to hurt himself?

After he spent time with Vidhushi, he was lying on her bed, trying to distract himself from what he was going to do. Vidhushi had her head on his chest and she was just gently caressing his arm.

"Are you okay?" she asked him softly.

"Yes," he lied. "What time is it?"

"Around two," Vidhushi replied.

Her wedding was going to take place at six. He just had to kill time until the wedding was done and then he would go home.

"Okay," Randhir replied.

"You never lie with me like this," Vidhushi pointed out. "You always just do what you came here for and then leave... this is nice."

"I wanted to spend some more time with you," he lied.

"Thanks," Vidhushi then said, closing her eyes.

Randhir tried to sleep too, to kill time, but he couldn't fall asleep. Vidhushi fell asleep easily though. All that was on his mind was Sanyukta and how he was betraying her.

She deserved this. She deserved to feel what he had to go through... and she deserved the most severe punishment for leaking his father's documents and blaming it on him. Yet, the thought of her going to another man was killing him. It hurt him a lot.

After an hour, he sat up on the bed, waking Vidhushi up.

"I need alcohol," he told her, feeling his heart get heavy.

He needed an escape.

"I'll bring you a glass of whiskey," she told him, sitting up too.

"The whole bottle. Not just a glass," he told her.

Vidhushi nodded and got out of bed to get him what he requested.

88

Randhir was drinking and drinking, knowing it was too much but unable to stop. After a certain point, he threw the bottle across the room and it hit the wall, breaking to shards, scaring Vidhushi.

"R - Rehaan is going to marry her," he said, sounding lost. "N - not me. R - Rehaan."

"What are you doing Randhir?" Vidhushi asked, sounding scared. "Don't do this to yourself."

He got up from the bed, shaking, unable to walk straight. Vidhushi was trying to hold him steady, but he pushed her back. She fell onto the ground, against a shard of broken glass, her hand getting cut.

"Ouch," Vidhushi said.

"S - sorry. I hurt everyone," Randhir said, half crying. "Is it 6 yet?"

"5:30," Vidhushi whispered, holding her hand painfully.

"N - no... sh - she can't marry Rehaan," Randhir said and then stumbled towards the door. "I have to stop her. She is mine. Only mine."

Vidhushi's eyes filled with tears and she ran after him.

"You're in no condition to go home," she said, placing her hand on his arm to stop him.

"If - if I don't stop her then I will kill myself," Randhir said out loud. "I - I hate her but I can't do this. I have to go!"

"No!" Vidhushi said. "You can't drive in this condition."

"I can. For her I can," Randhir said sounding sincere.

Vidhushi sniffled and she nodded.

"Okay. Fine. Let me drive you. I'll take you. Okay? Just wait one second. I'll drop you home," Vidhushi said.

Randhir nodded.

Vidhushi came out with her purse and car keys.

"Let's go," she said, a sinking feeling in her chest.

She was about to take the one she loved to another woman.

"She won't marry h - him right?" Randhir asked.

"If you love her then you better not let her marry him," Vidhushi said, sounding heartbroken.

"I - I do love her," Randhir said, his speech slurring. "I - I love her a lot... but I also hate her... a little less than I love her."

They got into the car together, and Vidhushi tried hard to speed through the traffic to get Randhir to Rehaan and Sanyukta's wedding.

89

Sanyukta was pacing back and forth in her room when Renuka walked in, giving her a red bridal sari. Sanyukta then sat on her bed. It was five. There was an hour for her wedding with Rehaan, and nothing seemed like it would stop. Randhir was nowhere to be seen.

"Thank you," Sanyukta said, her voice cracking.

Renuka sat next to her on the bed and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I know it's hard... it's often hard on us girls because we have to compromise and if I know anything about your family, I know how you've been raised. You've been raised as if you're worthless," Renuka said softly. "But you're not worthless. In this house, we won't treat you like you are. There still may be prejudice... girls are always treated as an object everywhere... but after marriage, you will get the freedom to do as you please. I will talk to Rehaan and tell him not to stop you from pursuing any dreams you have."

Sanyukta felt more tears fall from her eyes. Renuka wrapped her arms around Sanyukta and hugged her.

"I know that you have been manipulated into manipulating us. I know it wasn't completely your fault. I know you're their daughter... but you're a girl and Sanyukta, I always wanted to have a daughter," Renuka whispered.

Sanyukta hugged Renuka back.

"Thank you," she said politely.

Renuka broke the hug and smiled.

"Everything will be okay. Have faith," Renuka told her and wiped Sanyukta's tears away. "Get ready and come downstairs by six."

Sanyukta nodded.

After Renuka left, Sanyukta began to cry. "Have faith". She needed to have faith... but why was it breaking? Her faith couldn't even stand the test of time as her wedding approached?

She got ready and once it was six, with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she went downstairs to sit down for her wedding with Rehaan.

Rehaan was already there and upon seeing Sanyukta sit next to him, he smiled. She just numbly looked ahead.

The priest started the rituals and Sanyukta lost whatever faith she had remaining.