72

When Randhir woke up, she wasn't in bed once again. He sighed and got ready for work. He knew she was upset, but he assumed the reason to be him. Since he wasn't able to completely be hers, she was behaving this way. Little did he know that the reason was something else entirely.

Sanyukta was in her bed, staring at her phone. She wanted to delay sending the files to her dad for as long as possible, because she didn't want to go home. She didn't want to leave this place. She wanted to stay here with Randhir and pretend to be Pooja Malhotra. She wanted to tutor Parth. She wanted to help Randhir and Rehaan with politics... but she knew it was wrong. It was all wrong.

She threw the phone inside her bedside drawer and decided that she would get to sending the files tonight. One day she would have to do it and if she kept on delaying it then that day would never come.

That day, work went as normal, and she somehow managed to keep a neutral facade throughout. After work, she tutored Parth. Parth asked her if she told Randhir yet, but she avoided the topic by asking him to study.

At night, she locked herself in her room before Randhir could ask her to spend the night with him. She stared at her phone, knowing that if she was ever going to do this, then she would do it now.

This was going to break the Shekhawat's, but she had no other option. She had come here vowing that she would get the information... and now that she had, she couldn't back out. She had to be her father's successor, and she couldn't disappoint her father or mother. She remembered her mom's words... that she could win her father's heart. She could make him change his mind about girls. She could fulfill her dreams.

This was the only way.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She slowly entered her father's phone number in the keypad, but before she could hit call, an incoming call from Randhir's name came. Her eyes filled with tears.

She answered it and with pain evident in her voice, she said, "Hello?"

"Are you okay?" he asked her, sounding concerned.

"Yes. I just want to be alone tonight. Is it okay?" she replied.

"Yes... I guess.. I'm sorry," he said again, sounding guilty. "I hurt you a lot right? You don't even want to talk to me?"

She felt even worse. He was blaming himself... and she wasn't even trying to convince him otherwise.

"Randhir, I... I just don't want to talk," she told him, "I'm sorry. Please... please hang up."

"Okay... then hang up," he told her.

"You do it," she begged, not having it in her to hang up on him.

"I can't," he replied. "I don't know why, it doesn't feel right."

"You're making this hard," she told him, her voice cracking.

"Sorry," he apologized again, and then he cut the call.

Sanyukta dropped the phone on the bed beside her and burst into tears. This was the most painful thing she was going to do - betraying the one she loved for her family, for her own ambitions, for her own selfish reasons... she hoped she landed in hell for this.

With shaking hands, she called her dad.

He answered right away.

"Dad... I have everything you need. I - I will sneak into the office tonight and I will send all the files to you," Sanyukta informed.

"Good. Call me once you do," Kishore replied from the other end. "Then we'll bring you home if it's enough."

"O - okay," she squeaked.

After she hung up the phone, she waited for a few hours. In the middle of the night, she slowly snuck out of her room, towards the office. Then she entered the passcode and slipped inside the dark office. Without turning on the lights, she found the key to the back office and unlocked the door. Sanyukta closed the door behind her and turned on the flashlight in her cellphone.

She logged on to Rehaan's account. After watching him type his password for a few days, she had picked up on it.

Sanyukta then connected her usb to the computer and started to transfer all the important files that Rehaan had downloaded under his secure folder to the phone. After she was done, she removed the usb and sent her father all of the files.

Then she called her father with the phone and said, "Dad... it's done."

All of a sudden, she heard footsteps in the main office. Someone was here... and she had nowhere to hide.

73

Sanyukta quickly ended the call and looked around for a place to hide. There was a bathroom at the back, but it would be so obvious. She had no choice though - she rushed towards the bathroom.

As she was running though, she accidentally knocked over a glass on the table and it fell to the ground with a loud crashing sound.

Her eyes widened. She was done for.

Sanyukta entered the bathroom and closed the door quickly, hyperventilating. She heard the footsteps approach the back cabin and she breathed sharply upon realizing that she hadn't logged off the computer.

It would be obvious that there was someone here trying to leak information. The footsteps approached the bathroom and she turned the lock.

Then she heard a knock on the bathroom door - why was this person, whoever they were, so fearless? What if she was a criminal who had broken in to get information?

"It's you, isn't it. Pooja?" Randhir's voice then said from outside.

Sanyukta wished she could disappear on the spot. Tears flooded her eyes and she tried to take deep breaths to control herself. She couldn't.

"Pooja, open the door," Randhir urged.

Sanyukta unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside, looking down with guilt.

"I was here because I couldn't sleep and wanted to learn," she told him, knowing how unbelievable her story sounded right now.

Randhir looked at her suspiciously.

"Let me see your phone," he told her.

Sanyukta shook her head.

Randhir grabbed the phone from her hand and turned it on. He saw the first screen upon unlocking it was the files she had sent to her father. Upon seeing that it was sent to Kishore Agarwal's e-mail address from a "Sanyukta Agarwal", he immediately realized what happened.

"Who are you?" Randhir asked, looking back up at her.

She saw the pain reflected in his eyes and she started to cry.

"S - Sanyukta Agarwal," she confessed. "Kishore Agarwal's daughter. I c - came here to get information for m - my dad."

Suddenly, Randhir threw the phone against the wall and it broke to many pieces.

He grabbed Sanyukta's neck and pushed her against the wall with a menacing gaze.

"I should kill you right now," he hissed, squeezing her neck, making it hard for her to breathe.

Sanyukta closed her eyes, ready to die.

74

Today Sanyukta really believed that dying would be a blessing as Randhir squeezed her throat. The pain he was feeling was incomparable to any pain she would feel if she died, but she knew that death was an easy punishment. He seemed to know it too because he let go of her throat, punched the wall angrily, and then stormed out of the room.

Sanyukta took deep breaths to calm herself down. Then she ran after him. By the time she got to his room though, he wasn't there... and with a sinking feeling in her chest, she already knew that he had gone to Vidhushi.

Randhir entered Vidhushi's house and collapsed on the floor. Vidushi placed her hands on his shoulders and looked at him with shock.

"What happened?" she asked him, falling to the floor as well.

"Fuck... I'm so fucking stupid. How could I trust..." Randhir started and then he broke into sobs, burying his head in Vidhushi's lap and crying harder.

Vidhushi caressed his hair, allowing him to cry... she didn't know why he was crying, but Randhir needed her and she would always be there for him.

"I... I won't ever trust anyone again," he cried. "I ruined everything. My dad... he's going to suffer because I was naive."

Randhir thought back to earlier that night when Sanyukta left the room. He heard her door close behind her... he had been awake, unable to sleep. The cause had been her. It had always been. It would always be. He followed her, and now he wished he could die.

His father wouldn't trust him... and Sanyukta gave him no reason to trust anyone again.

He knew that the next day, everything would get worse... but right now, all Randhir wanted to do was cry.

75

The next morning, Sanyukta went downstairs. She hadn't slept, but instead had been crying all night while packing her bags. Randhir hadn't returned. Her father called her saying that she had done a good job and told her to come home. She knew that she would have to leave now.

She met Renuka in the living room to tell her that her parents had called her home.

Renuka was watching the news and upon seeing Sanyukta enter, she smiled warmly.

"Are you okay dear?" Renuka asked, noticing how down Sanyukta looked.

"Yes... well no. There's something I need to say... I have to go home. My parents are calling me," Sanyukta replied.

"Home? But the contract isn't over," Renuka said.

"I'll come back in a week. It's just mom's health isn't good," Sanyukta lied.

Renuka looked surprised.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Alright, if you think that's right then you can go home," she informed.

Just then there was a voice over on the news.

"Breaking news! There is a new controversy against President Harsh Shekhawat," the voice over said.

Sanyukta's eyes widened and Renuka gasped. The news showed a picture of an email with Randhir's name as the sender... it was the same email Sanyukta had sent her father.

"Harsh's own son Randhir Shekhawat is feeding information to political party, the Chakra's. What caused this traitorous behaviour from his son? The Chakra's have all the confidential files from Harsh's party. Can we continue to let an irresponsible President and his traitor son rule our nation?" the news lady said.

Sanyukta felt like she had a heart attack. Her father had used Randhir to destroy the President. Now Randhir's name was ruined for the world... and Harsh would hate his son.

Renuka fell on the couch, picked up her phone and called Harsh.

"Come to the living room," she ordered.

Sanyukta shivered fearfully and started to cry. This game of politics was worse than she ever imagined.

76

Harsh came downstairs with Rehaan. Parth also trailed behind them. Tears were falling down Sanyukta's cheeks as she realized what she had done. She had dug a grave for Randhir just so she could prove herself to her father.

What kind of sick and twisted human was she?

"Where's Randhir?" Harsh bellowed.

Parth looked scared and he walked to Sanyukta, standing next to her. He was just an inch shorter than her.

"Are you okay?" Parth asked her.

Sanyukta forced herself to nod.

She knew she should confess, but they would kill her on the spot if she did. It was still better than Randhir dying a horrible death every single day.

"S - sir," Sanyukta found her voice to say. "I - I want to..."

Just then, Randhir walked into the living room. Harsh charged at his son, ignoring Sanyukta.

"What's going on?" Randhir asked, then his attention turned towards the news where it sunk in that the leaked files were out.

"You betrayed us?" Harsh yelled at Randhir.

Randhir gaze paused at Sanyukta's fearful face and he smirked.

"Yes, I did," he said to his father.

He felt a blow to his face. Rehaan had punched him hard.

Sanyukta fell to the ground and sobbed desperately... Randhir was taking all the blame on his shoulders, despite knowing everything she had done.

She couldn't take it.

"No, I - I did it," she screamed over their angry voices, sobbing. "Randhir d - didn't do it. It was me. I'm Sanyukta Agarwal. K - Kishore's daughter. I came here just for that. J - just to leak information."

There was suddenly silence in the room. The only thing she could hear were her own sobs.

77

Sanyukta closed her eyes, her knees pressed against the ground, feeling like she had hit rock bottom.

"What are you talking about?" Randhir snarled after a few seconds of silence. "I know we became friends but there's no reason to pretend you did it."

"I - I swear. I am Sanyukta Agarwal. I leaked everything... p - please believe me," Sanyukta whispered. "I only c - came here to spy and get information."

"Bring the gun," Harsh ordered Rehaan.

"She didn't do anything," Randhir yelled. "It was me."

"There's no need to defend this girl," Harsh spat at his son.

"D - dad please don't kill her," Parth begged. "Please dad!"

"Rehaan get the gun!" Harsh ordered again.

Rehaan stood rooted to his spot.

Parth stepped in front of Sanyukta, protecting her from everyone's accusing gaze.

"Dad if you kill her they'll have more dirt against you. Use this situation. She's in your house... show her as a manipulative bitch to the media," Rehaan suggested. "Pretend she was going to be married to one of us and came with a different identity. Tell them she slept with us to do this."

Sanyukta felt the weight on her heart get heavier.

"Or better yet, we get her married to you and keep her here for good," Harsh said decisively. "It'll be a better punishment for Kishore. We can always use her to our advantage."

"Great. Then I'll marry her," Rehaan stated.

Randhir angrily stormed out of the room, unable to bear the conversation that was taking place right now.

"I - I won't marry Rehaan. J - just kill me," she begged.

"You have no choice," Harsh said.

"Make her marry Randhir!" Parth said loudly.

"No. Randhir won't be able to keep her in control like Rehaan would," Harsh denied. "She's going to marry Rehaan. That way we can get back at Kishore."

Sanyukta broke down again, silently wishing she would die.

"Why don't we just let her go?" Renuka asked, finally speaking up. "Maybe she didn't know what she was doing."

"I don't care what she knew. She leaked our files, now her and her family will suffer," Harsh stated.

Sanyukta realized now how dirty this game of politics really was.

78

Sanyukta just tuned out their voices. She had no say in her life anymore anyways. What was the point in listening to them?

Finally, she heard Harsh order her to go to her room and like a zombie, she stood up and went to her room. She had no choice anymore. No control. Nothing.

She sat on her bed and stood frozen there for hours, unable to feel anything. Nobody bothered her. Nobody came to talk to her. When she finally felt, it was late at night. Her stomach was rumbling with hunger.

She stood up and went to the kitchen where she got some leftover dinner from the fridge and warmed it up. The cook was already asleep at this hour. After she finished eating, she went back upstairs. Instead of going to her own room, she nervously knocked on Randhir's door.

He opened the door. He had red eyes, clearly not having slept.

Sanyukta entered his room. Randhir locked the door behind him and looked away from her.

"What do you want from me now?" he asked her.

"C - can you save me from this marriage? Please?" she asked weakly.

"No. You deserve this," he snarled and turned to look at her with rage in his eyes. "Because Rehaan's right. You are a manipulative bitch."

Sanyukta looked down with guilt.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Randhir walked up to her and grabbed her arms with force.

"You don't deserve a good life. You don't deserve love. Your love, everything was a lie!" he hissed, his face dangerously close to hers.

"My love was not a lie," she responded softly. "I really do love you."

"Liar!" Randhir spat. "You're a fucking liar!"

Then he let go of her arms and turned away. Sanyukta walked upto him and placed her hands on his biceps, resting her head on his back.

"I promise. I really do love you," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"And I promise, I will only hate you," Randhir vowed.

"Then why don't you marry me and make my life a living hell?" she suggested, a painful smile on her face. "I'm sure you could convince your dad... you can give me as much pain as you want."

Randhir's eyes stung with tears.

"You're manipulating me again. Get out," he ordered.

79

Sanyukta slid her hands down his arms, feeling his muscles as she pressed her face further into his back. If only she could somehow set everything right... but the damage was already done. It had gone too far. She had no control over anything and Randhir was not ready to be controlled.

"I love you," she said, wrapping her arms around him from behind, as her hands trailed down his stomach to his sweatpants.

"You can't seduce me into marrying you," Randhir warned.

"You can see as many girls as you want... but please just marry me," she whispered, her hand resting on his crotch.

"I'm not marrying you. I'll see whoever I want regardless," Randhir hissed, trying to ignore the feeling of her hand where he was most sensitive. "If you can save yourself from marrying Rehaan then do it... but I'm not your backup plan. You can't use me anymore."

Sanyukta let go of him and stepped back.

"Let me use your phone. I want to call dad and ask him to save me then," Sanyukta said.

Randhir sighed and gave her his phone. She dialed her father's number and he picked up right away.

"Why aren't you back yet?" he asked.

"Dad they want to marry me off to their son... please save me," she begged. "They know who I am."

"Really?" Kishore asked. "That's great. Stay there and keep us updated with more news."

"What?" she gasped. "No way. How can you let me marry your enemy's son? I was supposed to be successor."

"I determined that Ankit would be my successor many years ago. You're a girl. Not capable enough," Kishore said. "If you want to help, then marry their son and keep passing on information."

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears and her heart ached. Her own father used her for his own benefit? He didn't care that she was getting married off into the Shekhawat family, because it benefited him?

"Politics really is dirty," she spat into the phone. "I can't believe you'll leave me like this dad."

"Sanyukta you know you're a girl. Don't give me any excuses. Stay there and marry him," Kishore ordered.

"And if they kill me?" she asked painfully.

"Then we have more against them," Kishore said simply.

"You're serious?" Sanyukta asked with disbelief.

"If you want to be in politics then you have to be ready to sacrifice everything to win. Even if it means those you love," Kishore warned.

"Then I don't want it!" Sanyukta hissed and then ended the call.

Sanyukta broke down into tears and Randhir watched her helplessly.

"My dad is willing to have me killed because it's good for his party," Sanyukta stated painfully.

"So you're all alone now?" Randhir asked her.

She nodded.

"Good," he said rudely. "Now get out. You're about to be someone else's wife."

Sanyukta stood up, shaking, and left the room, finally surrendering to her fate.

She was a girl and that was her biggest crime.

80

The next morning, Sanyukta didn't leave her room. She didn't want to face any of the Shekhawat's. She didn't want to have anything to do with this wedding... but she knew that she would have no choice. She had nowhere to run. If she tried to leave, the security guards would catch her and bring her back inside. Even if she managed to somehow sneak out, then her father would bring her back here. Her mom had no control in front of her husband.

There was a knock on the door around noon and Sanyukta opened the door slowly.

It was Renuka.

"Pooja - Sorry, Sanyukta... the mehndi artists are downstairs. Get ready and come down to get your mehndi done," Renuka said.

"Now?" she asked. "So soon?"

"Your marriage is fixed for tomorrow," Renuka explained.

"Tomorrow?" she squeaked.

"Yes. Tomorrow," Renuka said.

Then she turned around and left, after giving her a final sympathetic look, as if she wanted to save her, but had no power and no say either.

She was also a woman.

Sanyukta took a deep breath and got ready for the mehndi ceremony. Once she got downstairs to get her mehndi done, Parth pulled up a chair and sat in front of her while there were two mehndi artists working on both of her hands.

"Run away," Parth advised her. "Randhir is being a jackass. He doesn't know what he's going to lose... but if you marry Rehaan he'll go insane and so will you. So don't be stupid. Don't marry Rehaan."

"I have nowhere to go Parth," Sanyukta told him painfully. "Why are you on my side after what I've done?"

"You aren't just a tutor for me... I meant it when I said I love you," Parth told her, sounding vulnerable and her heart ached for the little boy. "Not in the way Randhir does. I don't know in what way... but I don't want to lose you. You're special to me. And so is Randhir... I don't want him to be hurt. I really don't want either of you to be hurt. So please, please run away."

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears.

"I can't Parth. I have no choice. I think it's time for me to surrender to my fate and stop fighting... fate does what it wants anyways," Sanyukta whispered.

81

After she finished getting her mehndi done, Sanyukta went back upstairs to lock herself in her room, but at the top of the staircase, she felt Rehaan's grip on her shoulder, holding her still. He was looking at her suspiciously.

Sanyukta looked down.

"I want to see my name written on your hands," Rehaan told her.

She just held her hands out for him to find the letter R, which she still wished was for Randhir.

"There it is," Rehaan said after a few seconds, with a smile on his face.

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears and she tried to hold them in, but she had no control over them too. Just like her life, her tears were not in her hands.

"Why are you crying?" Rehaan asked.

She didn't respond.

"I know you don't want to marry me," Rehaan told her. "But I just saved you from death. You should be grateful."

Sanyukta finally looked up at him.

"I would rather die," she told him honestly. "I don't want to marry you."

Rehaan frowned.

"Ouch," he said, pretending to be hurt.

"Sorry," she whispered, looking down again. "I know I shouldn't speak like that."

"You betrayed us, yet I saved you," Rehaan pointed out. "Fine, you may have a suicide wish but for me your life is very valuable."

Sanyukta looked up at him with shock. Her life was valuable to Rehaan? Why?

Rehaan just pushed past her before she could say anything more. His words continued to ring in her ears though... suicide wish.

That was it.

Suicide.

There was one way to get out of this mess, and that was suicide.

82

Sanyukta got to her room and sat down on the bed. What was the easiest way to kill herself? In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo drank poison and Juliet killed herself with a dagger. She could go to the kitchen at night and find a knife. It would perhaps be the easiest... but it would be painful.

"What pain?" she asked herself. "It'll be a relief once the initial pain is over."

So she waited until nightfall to go through with it. Killing herself was better than marrying Rehaan and having to die a new death every single day, living under the same roof as her lover.

She said it before though - fate did what it wanted. She had no control... and she would continue to fail in front of fate's bigger plans.

In the kitchen that night, after she was sure that everyone was asleep, Sanyukta took out a sharp knife from the kitchen. She took a deep breath and held it at an angle towards her stomach, her heart beating quickly out of fear.

No. She couldn't be a coward. She had to do this. She had to save herself... nobody else was going to save her.

"Come on, come on," she urged to herself, but she was too weak to push it through her stomach.

Tears filled her eyes, and she knew that she couldn't do it. Who was she to take away her own life anyways? Her mom always told her that no matter what hardships she would have to face, this life was a blessing... and it never belonged to her. It always belonged to Lord Shiva. Their whole country was named Mrityunjaya because of the ideology that the country was not theirs... but it was God's and only God's.

Corrupt and power hungry politicians came in and they changed the whole meaning. They had ruined the once peaceful and beautiful country into one that was now at war... and oppressive to their own girls, who they once worshipped.

History had been her favourite subject growing up, because it showed her that at one time, girls were respected in this country... they were considered to be God, because they were the ones who gave birth to the men. They were the ones who had taken the pain upon themselves to be a mother.

A father could be a father, but he could never be a mother.

Now, that history was lost.

Now, Sanyukta was standing here, just like she was supposed to at this point of time, in order to fight with this so-called "modern" thinking that was really so oppressive.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Randhir's familiar voice said from the doorway of the kitchen upon seeing her holding a knife to her stomach.

The knife fell from Sanyukta's hands immediately and she turned to face him, looking guilty.