20

That night, Randhir didn't come home, and it drove Sanyukta crazy. She really didn't know why she was waiting for him... but she justified it by saying she needed to be around him to get information out of him.

Rehaan wasn't home either, and she didn't really care. It was just Randhir she was bothered about. Who was he with? Vidhushi? Or another girl?

She stayed up all night, pacing back and forth, trying to tell herself that she didn't care, but it was difficult to convince even herself. She barely knew him for a week and she was having such intense feelings.

What was this?

If every girl felt this way for him then surely her feelings weren't any different of special. She shouldn't let it affect her. He was not someone she wanted to even like a little bit.

A few days passed and she caught glimpses of him in the house, but everytime she tried to approach him, he would avoid her.

Finally, one night, when he had locked himself in his room, she knocked on Rehaan's door, deciding that she had no choice.

Rehaan opened the door and smirked slyly upon seeing Sanyukta there.

"What brings you here at this time of night?" Rehaan asked her.

"Rehaan, thank you for opening the door!" she said loudly... loud enough for her voice to penetrate through Randhir's door. "Let's go inside your room and then we can talk!"

Rehaan looked shocked, but happy nonetheless.

"Of course. Let's go," he replied.

All of a sudden, just as she expected, she felt a warm hand on her wrist pull her back. Randhir. She smiled.

"Go to your room," he told her darkly.

"Hi little brother," Rehaan greeted.

"Shut up," Randhir spat. "I don't want to argue over her."

"How's Vidhushi?" Rehaan asked with a smirk. "Did she tell you? I went to visit her."

"Just shut up," Randhir said darkly.

"You were with her the last couple of nights right?" Rehaan probed.

Randhir let go of Sanyukta's hand and grabbed Rehaan's shirt, pushing him back.

"Yes, I was with her, so what?" Randhir asked angrily. "You jealous? She never fucked you while I get countless fucks with her? You've gone to her over and over again but she's rejected you."

Sanyukta's mouth dropped open at Randhir's tone. She hadn't expected him to speak like that, and all of a sudden, she felt her heart drop and the tears that stung her eyes were involuntary.

Rehaan just smirked victoriously.

21

What was this heartache? Why did tears sting her eyes? Why did she feel utterly worthless?

Sanyukta just turned around and disappeared into her room, locking herself in. She fell on the ground against the door and started to cry. She didn't know why she was upset. She didn't understand what was wrong with her.

When Parth told her, it hurt. When Rehaan spoke about it, it hurt too... but when Randhir confirmed it, the pain felt unbearable.

But why?

If Randhir spoke in derogatory language about having sex with other girls, why was she bothered? If he spent the last few nights, having sex with other girls, why did she care?

Most of all, why couldn't she control these emotions?

After a few minutes of crying, she heard the commotion outside in the hall die down and the door to Randhir's room slam shut.

She stood up.

She didn't know what was happening, but Randhir was responsible for this condition of hers, so he would have to bring her out of it. Angrily, she opened her door and stormed to his room, knocking on the door.

He didn't answer.

She knocked harder.

Finally, he opened it and pulled her inside, locking the door behind him.

"What?" he asked.

"What did you do to me?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes. "Get me out of it!"

Randhir looked at her with shock as she sobbed in front of him, completely vulnerable.

22

She grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him close, the tears falling down her cheeks quickly. She didn't know what she was doing, but she felt completely naked right now, despite having all her clothes on. She was exposing him to the most vulnerable parts of her. Was this what intimacy meant?

"Pooja," he murmured, holding her shoulders gently, trying to step back, but she wouldn't budge.

Him calling her by the name Pooja didn't affect her. It wasn't her name. It wouldn't soothe her.

"What did you do to me?" she cried. "Why did you do it?"

Randhir placed his hands on her cheeks and used his fingers to brush away the tears that had fallen from her cheeks. He didn't know what she meant, but she was hurt... clearly, he hurt her, and he didn't like it.

"Don't cry," he whispered, resting his hands on her cheeks.

She trembled and leaned into his hands, liking the way he touched her.

"You have sex with other girls," she said, as if she was stating a fact.

Randhir let go of her face and took a step back. Was this what it was about? She didn't like that he had sex with other girls?

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not even sure why he was apologizing.

He wasn't committed to her that he needed to apologize.

She stepped towards him again and grabbed his shirt once more, pulling him close to her. She closed her eyes.

"I don't even know how to kiss? Am I pathetic?" she asked him, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't even know how people have sex. Is there something wrong with me? Is it wrong I was brought up to know that sex and all these things happen only after marriage?"

"No. You aren't wrong," he told her softly, bringing his hands up to hold her face again.

"Then why do I feel so pathetic?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I don't know why. Please don't feel that way," he told her.

"What makes me different from the other girls? Why didn't you kiss me that day?" she asked. "I came to you, saying I was ready to kiss you. Why didn't you? You're turned off me?"

Randhir gently tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm not turned off you," he told her.

"Prove it then. Kiss me now," she dared.

23

Randhir didn't know why she was so insecure, but he felt bad, like it was his fault for her being that way. He didn't understand why she wanted to kiss him or why she wanted to even be treated like the other girls. Why didn't she understand that she was different from them? That was why he backed off in the very beginning.

"You're different from the other girls, not because I'm turned off you, but because you're too innocent," he told her. "So I'm not going to ruin your innocence by taking advantage of you."

"I hate that word now!" she said angrily, and pushed him hard, making him stumble backwards. "I'm innocent? What does that even mean? Nobody taught me what sex is so I'm termed innocent?"

Randhir felt bad - he angered her again. He had come across angry girls, but nobody made him feel so bothered. He didn't care about any of them. With the girl in front of him right now, he cared a lot, and he didn't know why.

More tears streamed down her face and Randhir approached her again. This time, he held her shoulders and pulled her against him hard, engulfing her in a warm embrace. He felt her stiffen, as if she had never even been hugged by a boy before. Then she relaxed in his arms and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

As he held her, he was hit with a strange feeling... the feeling of wanting to hold her like this forever and never let go.

"Please kiss me," she whispered. "I don't want to be innocent. I don't want to be laughed at. I don't want to feel pathetic. I want to fit in."

Randhir caressed her hair gently and she lifted her arms, wrapping them around him.

He broke the embrace and looked into her eyes.

"You won't cry after?" he asked her.

She shook her head.

"Promise?" he asked.

"I promise," she replied and closed her eyes.

Randhir cradled her face in between his hands and leaned towards her, his nose brushing against hers gently.

Her breathing went uneven and he could hear the rapid pace of her heart, like she was anticipating something that she had never expected.

24

As tempted as he was to kiss her lips right now, he changed his course of action and kissed her cheek instead, moving his hand behind her head. Her hands rested on his chest and he felt her cheek warm up against his mouth, causing him to smile.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation. Sanyukta glanced up at his lips and closed her eyes again. Her lips were feeling really dry all of a sudden.

"You really want to kiss?" Randhir asked, shocked, causing her eyes to open.

She nodded.

"I'm just worried you'll regret it," he told her.

"I don't think I will," she whispered. "If we keep it between us."

"Of course. We won't tell anyone," he told her.

He took her hand and lead her to the bed. She nervously looked at it and Randhir smiled.

"Relax, it's just to get comfortable," he told her.

"I want to know about everything that nobody taught me," she told him.

"You want me to teach you?" he asked.

She nodded and sat on his bed next to him. Randhir turned to face her and placed a hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it gently. She arched her head back. Randhir smiled and leaned towards her, placing a soft kiss on the front of her neck.

Her eyes went wide and she instinctively reached out to hold his shoulders.

"I'll give you a practical lesson," he murmured, removing his lips from her neck. "Is that okay?"

She nodded.

He leaned into her ear, his breath tickling her.

"Where do you feel the most pleasure?" he asked her.

"It starts with a test?" she squeaked.

"I want to know where you are aching the most right now," he whispered seductively.

"Between my legs," she replied, shyly.

He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her back on the bed. He leaned over her and caressed her jaw gently. As he brought his face closer to hers, her chest heaved up and down.

"Ready?" he asked her.

She nodded.

"I'm going to kiss you," he told her.

She closed her eyes and Randhir leaned towards her, his lips gently grazing over hers, making her ache the most she ever had in her life.

25

His lips brushed over hers lightly, making her stomach fill with butterflies and her whole body go warm. Randhir moved a hand down to her waist. The way he touched her was so good. Not only did he know how to make her feel loved by his touch, but he knew what to say to make her burn with desire.

Her lips parted of her own will and Randhir sucked on her lower lip gently. He moved back and pushed some of her hair off her forehead.

"Follow my lead," he murmured to her.

She nodded.

He kissed her again with intensity and she started to respond to his kiss, fumbling a little bit. She was sloppy and didn't know how it was done, but Randhir patiently continued to kiss her. He reached under her pyjama shirt and rubbed her navel gently, as he kissed her.

Slowly, he introduced tongue into the kiss by licking her lips. Sanyukta tried to press herself against him but he grabbed both of her arms, after removing his hand from her under her shirt. He pinned her wrists to her sides and continued to kiss her.

"First we have to master kissing," he teased, removing his lips from hers. "Then we can move to other things."

Sanyukta nodded. He pressed his lips against her jaw, planting a wet kiss there.

"I'll need lots of practice," she replied.

"You know how to flirt," he pointed out.

"I'm not flirting," she denied.

"You were being serious?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied, smiling now.

"Your lessons are going to take place every night. No days off. Do you understand?" he asked, bringing his mouth down to her neck as he continued to hold her arms down.

She giggled as he kissed her neck. She was ticklish.

"Every night?" she asked.

"Yes," he said breathlessly. "We have a lot to cover."

"Will there be exams?" she asked him innocently.

"A lot of them. Be ready. I could test you at anytime," he told her and then kissed the tip of her nose.

He pressed his lips against hers again and she returned his kiss, eager to master everything Randhir taught her.

26

After a lot of kissing, Randhir fell back on the bed, out of breath, his stamina really tested today. Sanyukta looked up at him, her lips red, her face glowing.

"I can't believe I did this," she told him, her heart beating fast.

It was like she didn't regret it either by the way she was looking at him.

"Come here," he said and held his arm out.

Sanyukta leaned into him and rested her head on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeats.

She didn't know what this attraction was. She liked Randhir even though she told herself not to... but as a friend only. She kissed him because she really felt insecure earlier. She wanted to know what she had missed out on... and clearly, after the way kissing felt, she thought she missed out on a lot. Plus, she was attracted to him. He was very good-looking. He made her feel crazy things... made her body react in ways she never thought was possible.

On top of that, the biggest advantage of this was that it would bring her even closer to Randhir, upon which she could get him to spill some political secrets.

Once she got those secrets, she would end this... because this couldn't go on forever.

She wanted to enjoy it while it lasted though.

"How do you feel?" he asked her.

"Amazing," she whispered breathlessly.

"Come on top of me," he ordered.

Sanyukta lifted her head and brought her body up on top of his, looking down at him. Then she closed the gap between their mouths and kissed his lips softly, her hair falling down on his face. Randhir reached up with his hands and held her hair to her ears as he responded to her kiss.

After they broke the kiss, Sanyukta snuggled into him, feeling very warm.

"You can sleep just like this," he told her.

Sanyukta smiled.

"Okay," she said, feeling happy.

She felt very protected in his arms. She loved it.

Randhir was smiling too. She was innocent, but cute. She didn't know anything about being physical with a man, but she was a quick learner, and he was willing to teach her more. Her innocence made him desire her more, and he didn't know why he wanted to protect her, but he knew that whatever this feeling was, he really enjoyed feeling it.

27

When Sanyukta woke up on top of him, she was about to slide off, but he held her more firmly against him. Under her navel, she felt something hard and frowned. It was uncomfortable and was poking at her.

"Randhir," she whispered, trying to wake him up so he would let go of her.

"Fuck," he moaned.

It was like he was dreaming. Why was he swearing? Did he always use such vulgar words so early in the morning?

She relaxed against his chest for about a minute, until she felt whatever was poking at her get harder. Then she felt him press up against her further.

"Pooja," he moaned.

Sanyukta tried to move, but he was holding her too tightly.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh Pooja, you're so hot," he moaned.

"Randhir!" she said loudly now, so confused.

Randhir's eyes opened and he looked embarrassed. Then he smirked with confidence.

"Can I get off?" she asked.

Randhir let go of her and she got off him.

"I should go to my room," she murmured.

"Yeah, you should," he told her, wanting her out so he could take care of his desire.

He was already getting naughty dreams about her. This was not good.

"Okay then," she said and left his room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as she got to her room, she frowned. She didn't even say good morning. Everything had been so awkward between them this morning.

No, that wasn't right.

She had to go back and fix things.

Sanyukta left her room again and entered his. His eyes widened when he saw her enter, and so did hers. Randhir's pants were pulled down, along with his underwear. He was completely exposed around his waist... and it was like he was touching his private area.

She gasped loudly.

Sanyukta wanted to run away. Instead, she was frozen on the spot out of shock, just staring. Randhir was frozen too, shocked that she had seen him like this.

28

Randhir managed to regain his composure and quickly pulled his boxers and pants back up, as Sanyukta continued to stare. This was a very embarrassing situation to be caught in.

Finally, she entered the room and closed the door behind her, locking it. Then she approached him on the bed and sat next to him. Randhir looked away from her, still extremely turned on... her presence here had only made it worse for him.

"Was that..." she started.

"Yes," he said right away, avoiding her gaze.

"What?" she asked. "I mean what does it do?"

Randhir turned to look at her.

"What do you think it does?" he asked her.

"I mean I know you must use it to pee, but... why were you sitting on your bed touching it?" she asked him.

"Have you ever touched yourself?" he then shot at her.

"Meaning?" she asked.

"Down there, between your legs, have you ever put your fingers there and touched it?" he clarified.

"While showering," she told him with a frown. "To clean up."

"Doesn't it feel good?" he asked.

"No... I never noticed," she admitted.

Randhir sighed.

"You'll notice soon," he told her.

"Soon?" she asked.

"Yes, when we advance in our night classes," he told her. "Then you'll see why I was touching that part of me. Anyways, why did you come back?"

"I didn't say good morning," she replied softly.

Randhir smiled at her.

"Good morning," he told her.

"Can I hug you?" she asked nervously.

He wanted to say no, because her coming close to him was going to make it harder for him... but he couldn't. He nodded.

Sanyukta wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him from beside him. Randhir returned the hug and kissed the top of her head.

She smiled as he kissed her.

Then she broke the embrace and glanced at his lips. Before he had a chance to say anything, she pressed her lips against his, kissing him deeply. Randhir returned the kiss, but hungrily.

Sanyukta couldn't say she didn't enjoy the way he was kissing her right now. She loved it. It was like he wanted her... and for some reason she wanted to get closer too.

But how?

Perhaps that was when the clothes came off.

He was the teacher and she was the student... she didn't want to get too ahead of herself here, so she broke the kiss breathlessly.

"I'll go now," she said, blushing slightly.

"Okay," he said with a small smile. "I'll see you for breakfast."

Sanyukta nodded and left the room.

After she left, Randhir made sure to lock the door this time to avoid any further interruptions, while he finally sought relief..