Song: You Will Find Me- Alex & Sierra

Eyes

Maaga akong umalis ng apartment para sa mga shoots ko ngayon. It was such a busy day dahil after ng shoot ko ay may dalawang fittings pa akong pupuntahan. After that, we'll have rehearsals for the fashion show. The fashion show will be on the day after tomorrow.

And today, will be such a busy day for me.

The producers watches us carefully while we're rehearsing. May makita lang na magkamali, papaulitin agad. Then we're back to zero. Ganoon sila kaseryoso because they really want this fashion show to be perfect.

Inabutan naman ako ng tubig ng isa sa mga assistants dito pagkatapos namin magpractice. Habang umiinom ako, tumabi sa akin si Wilhelm. He's one of my co-models on this fashion show.

He's Brazilian. And we all know that Brazilian men are so hot. Halos lahat na nga ata ng mga male models na kilala ko ay puro Brazilians. Dahil mas madalas maraming nakukuha sakanila kaysa sa mga Filipino.

But he was nothing compared to... him.

Sa tingin ko nga wala ng papantay pa sa kagwapuhang taglay nun, e.

Fuck. Samantha, you should stop thinking about him! Wala na nga siya dito, iniisip mo parin siya?! Are you out of your mind?

"You did well." Aniya. Ngumiti naman ako at pinunasan ang bibig ko pagkatapos kong uminom.

"Thanks. You did well, too." He licked his lips sabay ngumiti sa akin.

"So... When will you agree to go out with me?" Bahagya akong natawa. 

At first, I really thought he wanted to start a conversation with me. 'Yun pala, this was his purpose. To ask me about it. Gusto kong matawa sa totoo lang.

He's been making a move on me ever since we worked together in a photoshoot. Ilang beses pa ulit kami nagkatrabaho hanggang sa tanungin niya ako kung gusto ko bang makipagdate ako sakanya. 

As for me, I always decline. Dahil wala akong panahon para sa ganyang bagay. Dahil ayoko pa. Ayokong i-acknowledge ang mga ganyan. I got no time for that.

I want to focus with work. I want to focus on myself.

Masyado ko kasing kinalimutan ang sarili ko noon. I always think of other people rather than myself. And in the process, I was slowly breaking into pieces. Dahil mas pinupuno ko pa ang ibang tao kaysa sa sarili ko.

I'm the broken one. And if I'm broken, I shouldn't let people break me more. Pero ganoon ang ginawa ko noon. Hinahayaan ko sila. Because maybe, that way, they will feel satisfied.

Pero nang marealize ko ngayon, mali pala. Hurting someone won't make you feel satisfied.

"I still don't know, Wilhelm." He crossed his arms at sumadal sa upuan. He chuckled a little.

"Why? You've been single for a year now. I think it's time for you to go out on a date again." Umiling na lamang ako at hindi na sumagot pa.

Everyone knows that Zach and I broke up. But the real thing is, it never happened. Dahil wala naman talagang kami. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso. Tiningnan ko iyon.

"Come on, Samantha. Just one date." He tried convincing me. Pero umiling lang ako muli.

"Ah! You're hard to get." He pinched my nose. I tried to chuckle at him nang dahil sa ginawa niya. 

We both stood up nang tawagin na kami muli for another round of practice. Hindi ko na siya pinansin pa ulit pagkatapos noon. 

When I got home... I'm dead tired. Sobrang rami kong ginawa and I've been walking in heels the whole day. Which is not really my thing.

Kahit ba model ako, hindi ko parin prefer na mag-suot ng heels sa lahat ng oras. Ang sakit kaya sa paa! At tsaka hindi lang basta heels ang sinusuot namin. Those are skyscraper heels! Damn it.

Pagkapasok ko ay bumungad agad sa akin si Ryan na nanonood na naman ng isang episode ng Gossip Girl. Hindi na ako nagulat pa dahil kahit sa Pilipinas ay ganito siya.

"Oh! Miss shorty is already home!" Humarap siya sa akin ng marinig ang pag-sara ko ng pinto.

He's been calling me 'Miss Shorty' simula nang makita niya ang buhok ko. Tumabi ako sakanya at kumuha sa bowl ng popcorn na nasa gitna ng hita niya.

"Gosh! I'm so tired!" Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa unan.

Dahil sa sobrang pagod ay nakatulog na ako. Lecheng Ryan hindi man lang ako ginising para man lang makalipat ako sa kama ko. Hindi pa tuloy ako nakakapagpalit! 

Pagkagising ko ay may nakahanda ng pagkain. Ryan left a note for me.

Miss Shorty,

Maaga akong umalis for work. Make sure you'll eat!

Just because you're already a Victoria's Secret Model doesn't mean you're not going to eat this damn food I prepared for you.

See you tonight. Love you girl. X

-R.

I gladly ate the food that he cooked for me. Gumawa pa siya ng protein juice for me. Sobrang namiss ko talaga mga luto niya every breakfast.

Nung mag-isa kasi ako, minsan lang ako kumain ng breakfast dito sa apartment dahil tamad akong magluto sa umaga. Lumalabas pa ako para lang makakain ng breakfast tapos didiretso ako sa trabaho.

Today is our final rehearsal for the show. Pinasuot na sa amin ang gagamitin naming damit for the show tomorrow.

Since its for a haute couture collection... Long gowns ang ibinigay sa amin.

I got a long black dress that is beaded in front. The sleeves of this dress were ruffled and its neckline's a little bit low.

I really like the dress dahil kahit simple lang ito, mukha itong elegante. Wilhelm keeps on looking at me from head to toe nang maisuot ko na ang dress.

"You look amazing," he smirked at me. He looks amazing wearing a suit, too.

But it was nothing compared to...

Fuck. I really need to stop comparing Wilhelm to him. I need to stop comparing every guy to him!

"You, too." Tipid akong ngumiti sakanya.

Then we started to rehearse again.

Everyone clapped for a job well done nang matapos ang practice. They were expecting the same outcome for tomorrow.

Of course, we'll do that. Do we have a choice?

Kinabukasan ay maaga akong nagtungo sa venue. Make up and hairstylist flocked at me once I took a seat on the make up station.

Up-do ang ginawa nila sa buhok namin. Hindi naman masyadong heavy ang ginawa nilang make-up. Tama lang. Hindi katulad sa iba na sobra sobra kung maglagay ng make-up. 

There were lots of medias inside the backstage. Ang iba ay iniinterview pa kami at tinatanong about sa suot namin. We gave them details about it.

Some were asking how was it working with the designer. Of course, you'll give positive comments dahil ayaw mo naman sirain ang image ng designer. Although, wala pa naman akong naeencounter na masamang ugali na designer.

This is just how it works. You always use sugar coated words in order to protect someone's image.

Nang magtawag na ang mga organizers ay dinalian na ng mga make up artist ang pagreretouch. We lined up waiting for the show to start. I prepared myself before I can enter the runaway.

Wilhelm is behind me. Pagkatapos ko ay siya. He gently patted my back. He gave me a thumbs up which I returned with a smile.

Ako na ang susunod ngayon.

Later on, one of the organizers signaled me to enter the runaway. I nodded at nag-lakad na papasok ng runaway.

Once I entered, people started to take photos of what I'm wearing. Diretso lang ang aking tingin. But from my peripheral vision I recognized some familiar faces.

Some are models, actors and actresses. I also recognized some famous singers.

Naramdaman ko namang nagsimula na ring pumasok si Wilhelm sa runaway. I took turn para makabalik na muli sa backstage.

But once I took my turn... I was met with a familiar eyes that I haven't seen in a while.

He was at the farthest corner of the runaway. Sitting next to someone I haven't seen before. Maybe that was his friend. I don't know because I don't care.

He's just looking at me without any emotion. Hindi ko pinakita na nagulat ako dahil nandito siya. Hindi ko ipapakita na may epekto parin siya sa akin.

So, I looked away acting like it was nothing to me. Acting like he didn't happened. Like it was just a normal pair of eyes that I often see.

But the truth is, those eyes... Those pair of eyes. That's something that I really want to forget. Because every time that I think of it... It brings back the pain it gave me before. It brings back the memories I couldn't forget. 

Inayos ko pa lalo ang ginagawa ko. I want to show him that it's done. I'm done with him. Even though I'm not.

I successfully made my way pass him. I was so ready to enter the backstage to try and act like nothing happened but I was stopped with a pair of arms that snaked around my stomach.

Everyone gasped at the scene. I keep a straight face. Not making a move. I tried to pretend that this doesn't shock me. And thank god, I succeeded.

Where did I even got this acting skill?

Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa bang makagalaw dahil sa ginawa niya. One touch and I feel so broken again. Ang sakit na nadama ko isang taon na ang nakalipas ay unti-unting bumabalik. 

I felt his hot breath on my neck.

What the hell does he want now?

What the hell does Zach want now?