Song: Sometimes (The K2 OST)- Yoo Sung Eun

Talk

"Please say something." Was the first thing he said.

I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't say anything.

I only keep a straight face and continued to act like nothing's happening.

Ano pa bang dapat kong sabihin sakanya? I think I already said everything to him before. Naubusan na ako ng dapat ko pang sabihin sakanya. Kaya ano pa bang gusto niya?

Sinabi ko sakanya ang lahat noon, but he didn't care. Tapos eto siya ngayon? Why is he so damn confusing?

People are probably taking photos of us right now. It must be really shocking to see a scene like this in a fashion show. Kahit ako rin naman nagulat.

"Bro, you need to let go of her." I heard Wilhelm's voice behind us. But Zach stayed still. He was really waiting for me to say something.

Siguro ay napagtanto niyang hindi ako mag-sasalita o wala akong balak gawin ang kung ano mang gusto niya, kaya naman ay unti-unti niyang inalis ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin.

I made sure that I'm totally free from his grip before I walk towards the backstage again. Tuloy-tuloy lang ako sa paglalakad. I couldn't even stop my feet from walking.

It's like I really want to get away from him.

Organizers were asking me what was that. I shrugged at them. Kahit ako ay hindi ko alam.

What could he possibly want now?

Agad akong dinaluhan ni Wilhelm ng makapasok siyang muli sa backstage.

"You okay?" He checked my body for some bruises. Paranoid lang siya.

Wala namang ginawang masama sa akin si Zach. I don't think Zach is capable of hurting someone... Physically.

I think he's only capable of hurting someone emotionally.

"Do you know him?" He asked me.

Yes. I freaking know him.

"No." Simple kong sagot at pumwesto na muli sa linya para sa final walk.

Nang bumalik kami for the final walk ay wala na si Zach sa dati niyang pwesto. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko pa ba tiningnan ang pwesto niya kanina.

I didn't bother to look for him again. Pwedeng-pwede naman siyang umalis kung gusto niya. There is not enough reason for him to stay here.

Habang nag-aayos ako ng gamit ay lumapit sa akin si Wilhelm.

"Can we go out on a date now?"

Sinandal niya ang sarili sa pader habang tinitingnan ako at naghihintay ng sagot. My answer is still no. Kahit anong pilit niya pa. Hindi niya ba makita na I'm not interested?

I chuckled and shook my head. Pinagpatuloy ko ang pag-aayos ko ng gamit.

"Come on, when will you agree?"

"I don't know, Wilhelm." I answered truthfully.

Hindi ko talaga kung bakit gustong-gusto niya na pinipilit ako na makipagdate sakanya. I already said no a hundred of times. Hindi niya talaga makuha!

Bago pa siya makasagot ay may pumasok na isang organizer sa loob.

"Samantha," lumingon ako sakanya.

"Yes?"

"A vip wants to meet you."

Sa gilid niya ay nakita kong pumasok si Zach. Napatigil ako sa pag-aayos ng gamit at unti-unting napatuwid ng tayo. Agad na napaawang ng kaunti ang bibig ko. We just stared at each other.

"This was the guy from a while ago." Wilhelm pointed at him.

Nagpabalik-balik naman ang tingin ni Zach sa aming dalawa. Lumapit si Wilhelm sa akin. Nilagay ang kanyang kanang kamay sa kaliwang balikat ko.

"That's him, right?" He asked in a very thick Brazilian accent. He pointed at Zach.

Hindi ako sumagot at nagpatuloy nalang muli sa pag-aayos ng gamit.

"You take a seat, sir." Sabi ng organizer kay Zach. Agad niyang sinunod ang sinabi nito. He waited for me to finish packing my things.

"Wilhelm, outside." Utos sakanya ng organizer.

He looks back at me bago siya tuluyang makalabas ng kwarto.

Now it's just the two of us.

The room is actually small. But with Zach in it, it feels so spacious and big. He stood up and walked towards me. He keeps enough distance between the both us.

Thank god, he knows what distance is! Hindi ko ata kakayanin na sobrang lapit niya sa akin. I think I will have a hard time breathing if that happens.

"Hi." I cheerfully greeted him with a smile. His forehead creased with my sudden reaction. "I'm Sam." Inilahad ko ang kamay ko sakanya. Tiningnan niya lamang ito.

Nang alam kong hindi niya ito tatanggapin ay binalik ko muli ito. I tried to smile at him even though it hurts.

Seeing him now hurts. Memories from last year flashed inside my mind. Umiling ako para alisin iyon ng tuluyan sa isip ko.

I won't let those memories hurt me anymore. I will use them as an opportunity to move on. Dahil 'yun nalang naman ang magiging sagot sa lahat ng 'to. Kung hindi ko hahayaan ang sarili ko na mag-move on, I wouldn't forget these freaking memories of us.

"Sam, it's just the two of us. Walang makikinig. You don't need to pretend that you don't know me." Aniya. I clenched my fist.

Neither of us spoke. Ano nga bang kailangan ko pang sabihin sakanya? Kamustahin siya? 'Yun ba ang gusto niya?

"About what happened a while ago..." He started.

"Yeah. What about it?" I smiled at him. Kunwaring normal lang ang lahat.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. Things happen." Kinuha ko agad ang bag ko pagkatapos kong mag-ayos at nilagpasan siya. Ngunit bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto ay hinawakan niya ako sa aking palapulsuan.

"Sam, wait." Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin which made him shocked. He gulped at tiningnan ako sa mga mata. "Can we talk?"

"May dapat pa bang pag-usapan, Zach?" I asked coldly.

He didn't answer for a moment. Nakatingin lamang siya sa akin. Gusto kong itanong sakanya kung ano ba ang ginagawa niya dito. Kung bakit niya naisipang makipag-usap? Sana matagal na niya yang ginawa 'yan. Hindi ngayong nasa proseso ako ng pagkalimot sa mapait naming nakaraan diba?

Ngayon pa ba siya magpapakita, ngayon malapit ko ng makamit 'yon? Is he going to make everything hard for me again?

"There are a lot of things we need to talk about." Sabi niya. Tumango ako.

"I see... But I don't think that this is the right place to talk about things."

"Gusto mo bang pag-usapan 'to sa ibang lugar? W-We can meet somewhere else." He suggested. Halata sa kanyang mukha na may gusto nga siyang pag-usapan kami.

"I don't... think so." His forehead creased. "I have a tight schedule. Sa tingin ko ay hindi ko maisisingit 'yan. We can talk about it next time, I guess."

"When? I'll make sure to free my schedule for that." I gulped. Sa halip na sumagot ay nagkibit na lamang ako ng balikat.

"I said my schedule's tight. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako may panahon para makapagusap." Sinubukan kong buksan muli ang pinto pero ay pinigilan niya ulit ako.

"Hey... Just let me say this."

Muli akong humarap sakanya. Trying to listen to him for the last time.

I promise that this will be the last time I will listen to him. One. Last. Fucking. Time.

I waited for him to speak.

"You've been nothing but good to me. You stayed with me even when most people would've run. But you... you chose to stay and I-I pushed you away and I'm sorry."

I stayed emotionless. Just hearing him say this, hurts. Just hearing him say this now hurts.

"All you ever did was love me and I... I hated myself because-" he continued but I cut him off.

"Did you even love me back?" Wala sa sarili kong tinanong sakanya. Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

Kung dati ay hirap akong makita siya behind his walls, now I can clearly see his emotions. He's like an open book to me now. Like he's letting me see him.

He's sad. He's angry. He's vulnerable.

"Yeah..." He whispered.

I just stared at him blankly.

Bakit ngayon niya lang sinasabi 'to sa akin? He had his chance to confess his feelings for me before. Pero pinagtabuyan niya lang ako and he chose to lie about it when he could've told me the truth!

Kung ganoon lang sana ang ginawa niya noon, wala sanang ganito. Hindi sana namin pag-uusapan ang dati.

Bakit ngayon lang?

"Well, you should've told me that before. Then maybe, I wouldn't leave. I waited for you to say it pero nagmukha lang akong tanga kakahintay ng gusto kong sagot galing sa'yo." I said to him truthfully. I know I was being harsh on him. Pero wala pa ito sa kalahati ng mga bagay na gustong-gusto kong sabihin sakanya.

"Samantha, I-" Binuksan ko ang pinto bago pa siya makapagsalita muli. Iniwan ko siyang mag-isa doon sa kwarto.

Buti na lamang ay kaya ko nang i-control ang luha ko. Di kagaya dati na maliit na bagay lang ay iniiyakan ko na.

Tears are too precious. So, don't cry over stupid and petty things.

Bakit ang mga lalaki kung kelan malapit ka nang makamove on tsaka sila babalik? Bakit hindi nalang nila tayong na hayaan na makamove on at kalimutan sila?

Because after all these, we still have our choices. It's either we'll move on and let go or to keep on holding on.