Song: I Love You- Kim Bumsoo (Uncontrollably Fond OST)

Real

I didn't tell Ryan that I was leaving early. Mas nauna akong umuwi kaysa sakanila. I just couldn't stay there any longer.

I fucked up. I really fucked up big time. I just let him go.

I was scared. I didn't know what to do. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko kung bakit ko ba pinaniwalaan si Ate Isabella.

Zach's right. She's never been a sister to me so why the fuck did I believe her?

But maybe it's better this way. Mas masasaktan lang kami kung ipagpipilitan namin ang mga bagay na hindi naman talaga pwede.

My eyes are sore from crying all night. Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na nakauwi sila Ryan galing sa engagement party nila.

Nung bumaba ako kinabukasan, it was surprisingly quiet. Madalas kasi sa mga oras na 'to ay nagtatawanan na silang dalawa ni Tony. Pero wala akong naririnig ni hagikhikan man lang.

Parehas silang napatingin sa akin nang makababa na ako. Parang kanina pa ako nila hinihintay.

"Hey," bati ko sakanila. Dumiretso ako sa kusina at kumuha ng maiinom. Ryan entered, too.

"You left early last night." Aniya. I nodded at ininom ang kinuha kong tubig. I wonder if he knows what happened last night.

"Sorry... I didn't tell you." Nagkaroon ng sandaling katahimikan bago siya muling nagsalita.

"Can we talk?" matagal ko siyang tinitigan bago tumango.

Lumapit kami sa pwesto niya kanina kung nasaan si Tony. Tipid siyang ngumiti sa akin.

"We wanted to tell you this for a long time." ani Tony. Bahagya namang tumaas ang kilay ko, suddenly curious about what is it.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Zach asked me to help him to get you back," Sabi niya. Nagawi naman ang tingin ko kay Ryan.

"It was all on me, Sam. Ryan doesn't like it at the beginning but he saw how dedicated Zach was just to get you back. So, in the end... he agreed."

"Why are you suddenly telling me all this?" Tanong ko. Tony pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Dahil alam namin 'yung nangyari kagabi, Sam." ani Ryan. My mouth parted. Sino naman ang nagsabi sakanila?

"Zach tells us everything. Alam namin kung bakit ka niya hinayaan na umalis noon. He did that for your own good. He was trying to fix himself bago siya mapunta sa'yo. And when he finished fixing himself, that's when he asked help from Tony. I didn't agree at first kasi alam kong hindi mo magugustuhan once na malaman mo na pumayag ako. But Sam..." hinawakan niya ang magkabilang kamay ko. "He loves you so much and I can see that. Nasasaktan siya na hindi ka niya kayang makuha ulit. Kinailangan niya pang humingi ng tulong sa amin dahil hindi niya kaya ng mag-isa... I don't understand why you have to let him go."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin para pigilan ang luhang nagbabadyang lumabas. Tumingala ako upang pigilan ito pero may isang makulit na tumulo parin. Mabilis ko namang pinalis ito.

"I know you're scared. Pero Sam, oras na para hindi ka matakot dahil nandiyan si Zach para sa'yo. Nandyan na siya... gaya ng gusto mo dati... nandito kami," tumingin siya kay Tony. Tony added at him at tsaka binalik muli ang tingin sa akin.

"He's also afraid just like you. But he set it all aside because he loves you. So much. He told me that he's scared before because he's afraid of losing you again. And he... just did. And he's really hurt but he's handling it very well." Tony told me.

"Bakit mo pinaniwalaan si Isabella? You know that she's just messing up your mind. She's trying to ruin everything for you." Napapikit ako sa sinabi ni Ryan. Hindi ko rin alam. Hindi ko talaga alam.

"Hindi ko rin alam, Ryan." my voice broke. "Siguro nung malaman ko lang na guilty siya, 'yung sarili ko na 'yung inisip ko. Hindi ko na naisip na maari ko siyang masaktan. I just... don't know."

"He was guilty, Sam. He really is. But he's not guilty because he didn't love you back. He's guilty because he didn't tell you that he loves you when he already did, even before you tell him you were in love with him." napabaling ako ng tingin kay Ryan.

"What?" I asked.

"He loved you first. He was just good at hiding his feelings. Guilty siya sa lahat ng sinabi niya sa'yo. Sa lahat ng ginawa niya. Pero hindi niya ginagawa ang lahat ng 'to dahil naaawa siya sa'yo. He's doing all this because he wants to. Hindi naman siya siguro lalapit samin kung hindi niya gusto diba?"

"That's why I didn't hesistate on helping him because I saw how sincere he was." Dagdag ni Tony sa sinabi ni Ryan.

"Pero sinabi niya kay Caitlyn na guilty siya. 'Yun ang sabi ni Ate Isabella." Nagugulohan ko silang tiningnan.

"Narinig niya ba ang lahat?" Tanong ni Ryan. I shrugged dahil di ko alam. "He also told us the same thing. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, Sam... Di niya ginagawa ang lahat ng 'to dahil guilty siya. Ginagawa niya 'to dahil gusto niyang bumalik ka sakanya."

"Do you miss him?" Ryan asked. I took a deep breath before I answer.

Alam ko naman ang sagot doon, e. Hindi ko lang pinapahalata pero kung tatanungin ako, alam ko agad ang sagot.

"Every day." I confessed. A tear fell from my eye.

"Do you want him back?" Tanong ni Tony sa akin.

Alam ko rin ang sagot para dito. Pero ang hirap magdesisyon noon. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko...

Pero...

Wala, e. Mahal na mahal ko siya. Kahit anong paglimot ang gawin ko, hindi ko magawa.

I nodded at him. "Yes..."

"But it's too late."

"I know."

Pagkatapos noon ay nagkulong muli ako sa kwarto. It's been days since I let him go. I want to take everything back. But I don't know how.

Gusto kong sabihin rin sakanya lahat. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan. I already made him leave. It's going to be hard to make him come back now.

Naiwan ako nang mag-isa sa apartment kinagabihan. Ryan and Tony's meeting someone for their wedding.

I was making my dinner when someone knocked on the door. Binitawan ko ang mga hawak ko upang magtungo sa pinto at tingnan kung sino ito. Binuksan ko naman ito at agad na nagulat nang makita kung sino ito.

Zach is standing on the doorway while his head's down. Nang inangat niya ang tingin sa akin ay kitang kita kong nasasaktan siya.

It also broke me seeing him this hurt.

Kung dati ay hindi ko kayang makita ang emosyon niya because of his walls... now, I can clearly see those because he's letting me see it.

He's finally letting me see him behind his walls.

"Uhm... I'm here to say goodbye." He spoke. My eyebrows creased. "I'm leaving..."

I was just about to go to him tomorrow and say that he should not leave pero eto na siya at nagpapaalam na sa akin ngayon.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

Tipid siyang ngumiti. "I'm going back to the Philippines. Because I... already lost the one that I came here for." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin.

"Paano 'yung career mo? The team? Paano 'yun?" Tanong ko.

"I already left. I'm going to help my dad with our company once I get back."

It looks like he already planned everything out.

Stupid, Samantha! Nandito na kasi papakawalan mo pa.

"Good bye, Sam." Aniya nang hindi ako nakapagsalita.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin na huwag na siyang umalis. Pero mukhang napipi ata ako ngayon. He smiled at me for one last time before his feet moves.

Bumaba siya ng hagdan at dumiretso sa kotse niya pero bago niya pa mabuksan ang pinto nito ay mabilis akong lumabas ng apartment at bumaba ng hagdan para masundan siya.

"Wait!" he stopped when he was just about to open his car. "Don't leave."

His mouth opened a little. "But you just told me to leave a few days ago. I just want to make you happy, Sam, that's why I'm doing this."

"Do you actually believe that... you leaving makes me happy?" Matagal bago siya sumagot.

"I don't know." Yumuko siya. Tears started forming inside my eyes.

"I know I messed everything up again. I know I shouldn't believe my sister because I know she just want to ruin everything for me. And I..." Naputol ang sasabihin ko dahil napahikbi ako. Agad naman tumaas ang tingin sa akin ni Zach.

Ako naman ang nag-iwas ng tingin ngayon. I wiped my tears away.

"And I... don't want her to ruin you to me. " I continued.

Hindi parin siya nagsasalita. It really sucks not hearing him speak. Hindi ko siya matingnan because I'm afraid to see his reaction.

"That's why I'm asking you not to leave because I want you to stay... I want you to... t-to stay with me. I'm taking e-everything back. Nadala lang ako ng emosyon ko kaya ko nasabi ang mga iyon. I'm really s-sorry, Zach." I bravely raised my gaze at him.

Kitang kita ko ang gulat sa kanyang mukha. Napaiwas ulit ako ng tingin.

"You said you wanted to take me back, right? Here I am, Zach. C-Coming back to you." I continued but my tears sucks kaya hindi nag tuloy tuloy ang mga sasabihin ko.

"And my feelings for you never change. I still love–" I was cutted off when I felt his hand cupped both of my cheeks making me look up at him.

"I still love you, too, Sam." Aniya then he crashed his lips into mine. I smiled. I can almost taste my tears between our kiss pero siya na ang nagpalis noon.

I chuckled. Hindi ko na napansin na nakalapit na pala siya sa akin dahil sa pag-iyak ko at pag-focus sa mga sinasabi ko.

Kung ganito lang pala kadali sana pala ay nung nakaraang araw ko pa ginawa 'to.

I started kissing him back. He smiled in between our kiss. Oh, how I miss him and his kisses!

He pulled away from the kiss at tiningnan ako sa mata.

"Oh, baby, I'm going leave everything behind just to stay with you." Then he brought his lips back to mine again.

Our kisses are full of longing, hunger and sweetness.

This time, I was the one who pulled away from our kiss. I see frustration in his eyes.

"We shouldn't be kissing outside." Sabi ko. Natawa naman siya nang marealize na may mga tao na makakakita sa amin dito. Pero kahit na ganoon, he still placed a peck on my lips.

I pulled him in for a hug. Ang kaninang kalungkutan sa puso ko ay agad na napalitan ng kasiyahan ngayon.

"Go back to your team, okay?" Sabi ko. I heard him mumbled an okay.

I smiled dahil kagaya lang nung salitang okay... ganon na rin ang relasyon namin ngayon.

I'm so glad I finally got him now. I'm so glad Ryan helped him. And I'm so glad... so so glad... because he came back for me.

And I'm so glad dahil wala na ring fake relationship.

Because this time... we're making this real.