Song: Nothing- The Script

Call

Habang nagpupunas ng basa kong buhok ay binuksan ko ang pinto ng apartment ko.

Tapos na akong mag-gym. I spent three hours working out at sobrang nakakapagod talaga 'yung pinagawa sa akin ng trainer ko. It was also my way to forget what happened last week.

Pagkapasok ko ay sumalubong agad sa akin ang nakahigang si Ryan sa sala. Wala ba siyang trabaho ngayon?

"Wow! Ang chill naman." Sabi ko at sinarado na ang pinto.

Lumingon siya sa akin at binalik muli ang tingin sa pinapanood.

"Konti lang naman kasi ginawa sa office." Aniya. "Ginabi ka ata? Kanina ka pa umalis ah?"

"I had to run some errands before I go to gym. Kumain ka na?"

Nilapag ko ang mga gamit ko sa kitchen counter at tiningnan ang niluto niyang pagkain.

Oh my! It's caldereta! My favorite!

I glared at him. "Bakit ngayon ka lang nag-luto nito kung kailan kakatapos ko lang mag-gym?"

"I've been craving for it since yesterday kaya niluto ko. So, sino mag-aadjust?" Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.

"Tss." Tinibgnan ko muli ang caldereta bago buksan ang ref.

I made myself a sandwich at dumiretso na sa kwarto ko. Nagpaalam ako sakanya at tumango lang siya sa akin.

Makakain rin kita, caldereta. Soon.

Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ng gamit ay humiga ako sa kama at binuksan ang laptop ko. I logged in into my social media accounts.

Ang tagal ko na ring di nakakapagbukas ng mga accounts ko dahil sa sobrang busy na rin.

Tiningnan ko muna ang facebook ko. Caitlyn sent me eight messages. I quickly opened it.

Thursday 8:12 PM

When are you coming home?

Friday 7:40 PM

Oh my god! Nandyan si Zach sa New York?

Friday 7:53 PM

Answer me! Oh my god! Nakita ko 'yung picture niyo!

Sunday 5:35 PM

SAM! Super rami na ng articles about sainyo! Oh my god!

Sunday 5:45 PM

Are you okay?

Pwede naman siguro mag-reply kahit saglit diba?

Tuesday 3:22 PM

You're having a photoshoot with Zach? Saw pictures sa account nung magazine.

Gosh! I hope you're fine.

I think the news has reached her kaya naman sobrang nag-alala siya. She knows that I'm still not over him... yet.
Pero malapit na talaga! Promise.

I quickly typed my reply.

Me:

Hey, Cait! Yeah, I'm fine. Wag kang mag-alala dahil trabaho lang naman lahat, okay? Take care always. I don't know when I'm coming home.

Nicheck ko naman ang iba pang ganap sa mga social media accounts ko. My twitter notifications are bombarded by fans. Both mine and Zach's.

Kalat na kalat na rin ang picture namin behind the scenes from the shoot. Everyone is already going crazy about it. Napagdesisyonan ko rin mag-basa ng iba pang articles.

I'm in the middle of reading articles nang mag-ring ang cellphone ko. Tiningnan ko kung sino ang tumatawag.

It's an unknown number.

I ignored the call dahil kabilin-bilinan sa akin ay wag akong sasagot ng di nakaregister na phone number.

Pero naulit pa 'yon ng limang beses kaya naman ay sinagot ko na kung sino man ito.

"Hello?" Sabi ko ng sagutin ko ang tawag.

"Finally! You answered!" A slurred voice spoke on the other line. Hindi ko mamukhaan ang boses.

"Who's this?" I asked, getting chills over my body. Baka kasi mamaya ay isa pala itong threat call.

"Sam..." Mas malinaw at mas maayos na pagkakasalita. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napaayos ng pagkakaupo. I can clearly recognize that voice.

"Zach?" Biglang humina ang boses ko.

Paano niya nalaman ang number ko at bakit niya ako tinatawagan?

Maingay sa kabilang linya kaya mukhang nasa mataong lugar siya. I can hear blast of music and people shouting.

Is he... in a club?

I heard him chuckle on the other line. "Yes, baby. It's me."

My mouth opened a little when I heard that he called me 'baby'. Napakurap-kurap ako dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig.

"W-W-What do you want?" I asked him.

Narinig ko naman na nagbuga siya ng malalim na hininga bago niya sagutin ang tanong ko.

"Everything... I want everything." then he laughed.

God! That's so weird of him. Lasing ba siya?

"Are you... drunk?" I gulped waiting for his answer.

"Yeeeah. Maybeee." Then he laughed again.

"What are you doing? Why did you call?"

"I missed yoooou. And also, your beautiful voice..." Nagkaroon ng sandaling katahimikan sa amin bago siya muling nagsalita.

"Damn! I really need to pull myself all together, right? Minsan mo nalang ulit sasagutin ang tawag ko dahil alam mo na kung kanino 'tong phone number na 'to, e."

"But I can always change it incase you block this number. I really want to talk to you." Dagdag niya.

Naalala ko nung lasing siya. He got really emotional. He let anger get the best of him. He was really broken that time pero bakit parang ngayong lasing siya ay iba?

He doesn't sound emotional. He sounds like a normal drunk guy, drunk calling someone.

"I know you're probably going to hang up soon. But just let me talk and listen to this one, okay?" Sabi niya sa kabilang linya.

Buti ay nakakapagsalita pa siya ng maayos kahit na lasing na siya.

I let him speak. Di niya rin naman siguro maaalala lahat ng sasabihin niya once he's sober.

Kung ano man ang gusto niyang sabihin ngayon ay siguro di na niya pinag-isipan pa nang mabuti.

"I want you back, Sam. I want you so damn much. Kahit noon pa. Pero natakot lang ako because I don't think you deserve me that time. Pero ngayon, Sam... trust me. I can give everything to you now."

Tila hindi maproseso lahat ng sinasabi niya sa akin. He sounds so sincere and honest. I don't even think he's drunk with the way he's speaking to me right now.

"And I'm willing to do anything just to get you back. Let me make up for the things that I did wrong to you before. I miss you so much, baby. And I just... couldn't live a damn day knowing that you're trying to move on from me." He added.

"Speak, Sam. I want you hear you speak." But I said nothing. Nanatili lamang ang telepono sa tainga ko habang pinakikinggan ang hininga niya.

"I'm in love with you." he spoke again but I still said nothing. Nanatili lang akong tahimik, hindi makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya.

Pinigilan ko ang nagbabadyang luha na lumabas galing sa aking mga mata. My feelings for him never changed. Because the truth is... I'm having a hard time to move on from him. I did love him so much that I just can't find any reason to stop.

Kahit na sobrang nasaktan ako sa nangyari... Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko tatapusin itong nararamdaman ko sakanya.

Maybe I just keep on telling myself that I'm moving on but that's a lie. Because no matter how hard I try to forget him... memories of him keeps on flashing inside my mind.

Maybe I was just telling people that I'm moving on to make myself better. But at the end of the day, I'll realize that I can't. Because I have loved him so much and I can't seem to forget him.

I can't seem to forget every kiss that we shared...

Every moment that we shared...

I bite my lip trying to fight the tears. Si Zach nalang naman ang nagiging rason ng pagiyak ko ngayon, e. I already stopped crying over my family because I'm over it.

We're starting over again... If that's what I thought?

"Oh... I should hang up now, I guess? I hope you'll answer again the next time I call. Good night, Sam. I love you so much." Ilang segundo rin bago niya binaba ang tawag.

I have waited long enough for him to say that he loves me, too. And hearing these words from him... just now... hurts.

Dahil feeling ko sinasabi niya lang 'to because he felt guilty. He felt guilty dahil kaawaawa nga naman ako ng mga oras na iyon.

I just can't trust his words anymore.

I want him to show it to me. I want him to prove that he loves me.

Kung sakaling totoo nga lahat ng sinabi ni Zach sa akin kanina... hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.