Two Choices

Bumukas ang pintuan at iniluwa si Colton. I suddenly felt bad for my brother. For my brother who has been used by this woman standing infront of me.

"What's happening here?" His voice is low and soft. Tinignan ko si Jessica na ngayon ay aligaga sa pagpupunas ng mga luha niya. I didn't bother wiping my tears. Para saan pa? Kusa rin naman iyong tutulo.

Humarap si Jessica kay Colton. I saw my brother's eyes narrowed when he saw his wife's face.

"What's wrong?" Kaagad niyang tanong dito at sinubukan pa niya itong hawakan pero umiwas si Jess.

Gusto kong murahin si Colton. Kailan pa ba siya naging tanga? He's letting this bitch use him? What the fuck!

"I just got emotional after seeing Trix... But you go talk to her. I'll give you both privacy." Mahina niyang sabi ngunit hindi naman iyon nakatakas sa pandinig ko.

Ngayon naman ay gusto kong matawa ng pagak. Bakit hindi siya magsumbong? Para naman magalit din si Colton saakin then we'll call it a quits. I'm angry at him for lying at me and he'll be furious at me for talking shit to his beloved wife. Fair enough.

Mabilis na lumabas si Jess ng kwarto at kami na lang dalawa ni Colton ang naiwan. I looked at him emotionless. He glanced at my suitcase and took a deep breath before drawing back his gaze to me.

"Aalis ka?"

Hindi ako sumagot. It's for him to find out himself. Wala na akong pakialam kahit ano pa ang gusto niyang isipin.

"What happened to you, Beatrix? Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan?" halos pabulong na niyang sabi habang hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin saakin.

"If you have nothing else to say, please get out of my way then we'll call it a day."

Matapang niya akong tinignan at humakbang palapit saakin.

"Beatrix naman! Kung kailan ka tumanda saka ka nagrebelde!"

"Ano naman ang pakialam mo kung aalis ako, Colton? Ikaw nga no'ng nagpakasal ka ay hindi naman kita pinakialaman!" I fired back and he was caught off guard. Umawang ang bibig niya ngunit walang mga salita na lumabas mula roon.

"Bakit ba pagdating sa'yo palaging 'oo' ang sagot nila mama? Bakit palagi na lang ikaw yung tama? Akala mo ba hindi ko napapansin, Colton? There's a favoritism going on since day one!" Marahas kong pinunasan ang luhang kumawala mula sa kaliwa kong mata.

"Fine... Pwede mong sabihin na kung kailan ako tumanda ay saka ako nagrebelde, syempre, nagtitiis lang ako noon e. Pero ngayon sagad na sagad na 'ko, Colton! Hindi mo ako maiintindihan kasi hindi ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon ko! Home should feel like home. Home should be the place where you could run into when the world is suffocating you. Pero bakit kabaligtaran pa ang nangyayari? Kasi kahit ako yung kasama nila, ikaw pa rin ang kinakampihan nila!"

I saw a glimpse of pain in my brother's eyes but he immediately shut his eyes as he takes a deep breath.

"I understand where your frustartions are coming from..." mahina niyang sabi at muling binuksan ang mga mata niya saka ako muling tinignan.

"But please, Trix... I can't let you leave like this. Hindi mo maiaalis saamin ang mag-alala sa'yo."

I clenched my teeth. I hate it when he's being mature himself. I just hate it. Hindi ako nagsalita dahil alam kong may kasunod pa siyang sasabihin.

"You won't find a place to stay this instant, Beatrix. May proseso pa na kailangang gawin... Saan ka tutuloy?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Hindi ko pa naisip ang mga bagay na iyan. All I wanted to do is to get out of this place right now. Ayoko namang abalahin pa si Kaye dahil kasama niya pa rin ang mga magulang niya sa iisang bahay at ganoon din si Nick. Kung lalapit naman ako sa mga pinsan ko ay masyadong maraming tanong at pati sina tito't tita ay maiinvolve pa.

"See? It's quite hard, Trix. You only have two choices. It's either you'll stay in this house or you'll transfer in my unit."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him afterwards. I'm starting to think that he's shitting me but his face remained stoic.

"Dalawa lang ang bagsak mo, Beatrix. If you really need a room to breathe, my unit's door is open for you. Pero kung magmamatigas ka at maglalayas ka ngayon, si papa ang makakausap mo. We both know how hard it is to say 'no' to him. Minsan lang siya humiling at minsan lang din kung magalit."

I clenched my jaw and gave him a deadly glare because I know that he's stating a fact.

"I'm not offering my place to you just for you to forgive me, Trix. I'm doing this because I'm your brother. You can loathe me for as long as you want but that doesn't stop me from being a brother to you... At para sa ikatatahimik mo, matagal ng hindi umuuwi doon si Yael. At makakaasa ka na hindi ko rin sasabihin sakanya na nakatira ka na ulit sa unit ko."

Naikuyom ko ang mga palad ko. Alam ko. Narinig ko 'yon mula kay Matthias.

"Deal?" Tinaasan niya ako ng dalawang kilay.

I grit my teeth and flared my nose.

"That doesn't mean that I'm forgiving you." Matigas kong sabi. Every word tastes bitter in my mouth. Maybe it's because of my pride.

"Sure, no problem."

"Beatrix!" Tawag saakin ni mama habang pabalas ako ng pintuan. I took a deep breath before facing her.

"Bisitahin mo ako minsan..." aniya. Tipid lang akong tumango bago siya muling tinalikuran. I just don't know anymore. Maging sarili kong nararamdaman ay hindi ko na alam. My chest is starting to get numb.

How did I end up here? It feels like I'm inside a dark room and there's no way out. Sa sobrang dami kong iniisip ay hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat kong isipin.

"Here's the key... Tawagan mo kami kaagad kung may kailangan ka." Bilin ni Colton. We're both standing on pad's front door. And Jessica's waiting in his car. Ang sabi ko naman ay kaya ko ng dalhin ang mga gamit ko pero nagpumilit pa rin si Colton na ihatid ako dito.

Wala sa sarili akong napatango. "Thanks..." Sabi ko na lang. He was kind of hesitating to leave me pero tinalikuran ko na lamang siya para buksan ang pintuan. Narinig ko siyang nagpaalam ngunit hindi na ako sumagot. Paglingon ko ulit para kunin ko ang mga gamit ko ay likod na lang niya ang nakita ko na naglalakad palayo.

Sinulyapan ko ang katabing unit ng kay Colton. Sino na kaya ang nakatira dito? Huminga ako ng malalim bago nag-iwas ng tingin. Isa-isa ko nang ipinasok ang mga gamit na dala ko sa loob. Pagsara ko ng pintuan ay isang nakabibinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa loob. I'm not gonna lie, I've missed staying in here. It doesn't even feel like nine months has been already passed. Parang kahapon lang ang lahat.

-

Paggising ko ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nakabalik na ulit ako dito sa unit ni Colton. Pero ganoon pa man ay hindi ko maikakaila na mas maganda ang gising ko ngayon dahil kahit papaano ay wala na akong nararamdamang bigat. Transferring to Colton's unit (again) is a like new fresh breath of air. Maybe this is what I really needed; a space.

Pagtingin ko sa wall clock ay kaagad akong tumakbo doon sa may suitcase ko para kumuha ng underwear at brassiere. Hindi ko pa naayos ang mga gamit ko simula kagabi, tanging scrub suit ko lang ang naihanda ko dahil maaga ang pasok ko ngayon.

Patakbo akong nagtungo papasok ng Medical City habang itinatali ang buhok ko. Pero napabagal ang mga hakbang ko nang bumungad mamataan ko si Ryan na nakasuot ng scrubs at kasalukuyan siyang kausap ni doc Sison.

"She's just messing around, doc. She keeps on paging me just to entertain her. There are a lot of patients that needed some medical treatment and clearly, she's not one of them..."

"A patient is a patient doctor Ramirez! At pasyente mo si Jackie Zuñiga kaya obligasyon mong asikasuhin siya!" Doc Sison hissed. Both of them looked pissed especially doc Sison who has all the rights to be pissed. Si doc Sison ang resident ni Ryan since intern pa lamang siya. At dahil intern pa lang siya ay sinisikap niya pa ring maging magalang

kahit na mukhang naiinis na rin siya.

"Doctor Sison I—"

"Enough. I'll just assign another intern to check out for Jackie Zuñiga..." He's not hissing anymore and this time his voice is full of authority.

"What about me, doc? Ano ang ia-assign niyo saakin?"

Doc Sison smiled... A smile that would make you wanna go back into your mother's womb. If you just don't know Doc Sison well, you'll think that it's just a simple and warm smile. But for those who knows him well, they'll know that you'll be damned. Like, so damned.

"You'll perform the rectal exams, doc Ramirez." matapos niyang sabihin iyon ay biglang tumunog ang kanyang pager. Kinuha niya ito mula sa kanyang bewang at muling nag-angat ng tingin kay Ryan na kasalukuyang nakaawang ang bibig. Ako naman ay napangiwi para sakanya. Rectal exams? Rest in peace, appetite.

"Have a good day..." Sarcastic nitong paalam bago tumakbo paalis.

"Yes naman, Ryan! Goodmorning!" Ryan scoffs nang makaalis na si Doc Sison. It must be hard for him. He looks exhausted. Pero hindi ko akalain na itong si Ryan na kaklase ko lang noon ay isa ng intern ngayon sa ospital na pinapasukan ko. Lucky for him, he didn't have to spend 10 long years in the medical school. Ang alam ko ay sa La Salle siya nag-aral. Ang alam ko doon ay pwede ka ng maging doktor sa loob lamang ng anim na taon.

Nanigas ako mula sa kinatatayuan ko nang biglang dumako ang tingin niya saakin. Napaawang ang bibig ko at hindi ko alam kung tatakbo ba ako paalis o hindi. Sa bandang huli ay napailing na lamang siya bago tumalikod at nagmadaling umalis. I took a deep breath. Now, this one is going to be hard for me.

"Why the hell are you just standing there!?" Biglang sumulpot si Nick na may hawak-hawak na brown envelope. Mukhang resulta iyon ng isang test.

"Oh shoot! I'm sorry!" Adrenaline rushed through my veins after realizing that I'm running late.

"Damn girl, I'm going to stab you in the throat!" Dinig ko pang pahabol niya habang aligaga na akong tumatakbo papunta sa ER.

The moment I stepped in the ER, I brace myself. Talagang matinding lakas ng loob nanaman ang kailangan ko dahil iba't-ibang klase ng pasyente nanaman ang haharapin ko. Katulad ngayon, may mga pasyenteng isunusugod na kagagaling lamang sa motorcycle accident. Dalawa lang ang doctor na nandito at anim ang mga kailangan ng medication.

"Nurse Beatrix, page Doc Ramirez!" Doc Sison said frantically while handling the patient with a severe wound on his forehead. I nodded as I immediately paged Ryan.

Tapos ay kinuha ko na rin iyong pasyente na hindi naman malala ang natamong sugat.

Sa tantsa ko ay mga nasa 17 ang edad ng lalaking pasyente na nasa harapan ko ngayon.

"What's your name?" tanong ko sakanya habang chincheck kung may mga sugat pa ba siya sa ibang parte ng katawan. Wala naman akong nakitang ibang sugat kung hindi yung sa may tuhod niya.

"Adrien..." He deadpanned. He's tan and has a muscular body for his age. He's good looking but the thing about him that caught my attention were his eyes. They're clouded with fear. I know, being scared after experiencing a motorcycle accident is normal but those fears in his eyes are different. Parang hindi ang aksidenteng sinapit niya ang inaalala niya, mukhang may iba pa siyang iniisip.

"Did you hit your head somewhere?" I asked while disinfecting the wound.

Ilang sandali bago siya sumagot. "I... I don't know." He said, unsure. As if he's trying to recall what happened during the incident. Hindi ako sumagot at pinagpatuloy na lamang ang ginagawa ko. Pero mamaya ay titignan kong mabuti ang ulo niya, mahirap na.

"Are you going to call my parents and tell them what happened?" saglit akong natigilan pero kaagad ko din naman ipinagpatuloy ang paglalagay ng gasa sa sugat niya. His voice was frantic, parang lahat ng pangagamba niya ay biglang kumawala dahil sa simpleng tanong niyang iyon.

Bago pa ako makasagot ay may narinig na akong boses ng isang lalaki mula sa likod.

"Why? You don't want us to?" sa boses pa lang ay alam ko ng siya si Ryan—scratch that—Doc Ryan Ramirez.

"Please don't..." pakiusap niya at tila ba kahit papaano ay nagkaroon siya ng pag-asa.

Suddenly Ryan was standing next to me. I glanced at him and he's looking at the patient.

"Then you'll have to be my cousin for this day..." mahina niyang sabi sakanya na ikinagulat ko naman. Kukunsintihin niya ang bata?! Bago pa ako makapag protesta ay umayos siya ng tayo at tumikhim.

"You paged me?" tanong niya saakin at nilakasan pa ang boses niya. Para bang gusto niyang ipalabas na kakarating lamang niya at walang nangyaring pagkukunsinta kanina. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi tumango.

"Ramirez! What are you doing?!" sita ni Doc Sison sakanya. Dinaig pa nila ang mag jowa sa dalas nilang mag-away.

"I'm just telling nurse Beatrix to take good care of my cousin." He reasoned out. Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko na mapailing. I'm not agreeing to this. This is not right.

Pinaningkitan siya ng mga mata ni Doc Sison at ngali-ngali itong batuhin ng stretcher si Doc Ryan. "Of course, she will, Ramirez! Let her do her job and you do yours." Singhal nito sakanyang intern. Hindi na sumagot si Doc Ryan at kaagad na inasikaso ang ibang mga pasyente.

"What the hell? Pinsan mo yung doktor?" the patient next to my patient said in disbelief.

Kasalukuyang ibinebenda ang siko niya.

My patient grinned and nodded his head.

--

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Mabilis kong sabi kay Doc Ryan na mukhang paalis na ng ER. Tiningnan niya ang kanyang wrist watch.

"Make it quick." He said coldly. Inip na inip niya akong tinapunan ng tingin.

"Pretending to be my patient's cousin just so his parents won't be informed about the incident that has happened to their child is not a good idea." Diretsahan kong sabi sakanya.

"And who asked for your opinion?" he fired back at me. Napanganga ako dahil sa inasal niya.

"Adrien is my patient, Ryan!" mahina ngunit mariin kong sabi sakanya. "And I will inform the parents of my patient about the condition of their child." I added.

"Doc Ryan, nurse Beatrix!" he corrected me while looking at me with bloodshot eyes. "And no! You are not going to contact his parents." Mahina ngunit maawtoridad niyang sabi.

"But what if—" hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko nang bigla niyang putulin ito.

"Knock it off. He's my patient now and I won't be needing a nurse who cannot simply follow a doctor's order."

And with that, he left me dumbfounded.