I don't know how long I've been pacing and I don't know how long I've been thinking, but I do know that my mind is just as tired as my legs.

It was half past one in the morning which means Luke had been gone for 14 hours which was 12 hours longer than I expected. He was never one to run away from his problems, but he was one to run away from his fears. Maybe this was something that he was afraid of too. It was obvious that it was not for the same reason, but maybe he was more afraid of my unsuspecting answer.

My guilt and worries had been troubling me to the point where I had physically felt weak. I finally sat myself down on the couch as I kept thinking to myself how this isn't something that I should be getting worked up about. But at this point I was beginning to get more worried about him and his own safety.

I slumped down onto my side, tugging my knees into my chest. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and still hadn't gotten any replies from the few texts and calls I had sent to Luke. The phone slipped from my hand, falling to the floor with a soft thud. I sighed lightly as I stared at the blank wall ahead of me, blinking a few times before I felt my eyes get heavy and I could feel myself becoming more exhausted by the second.

I've been up for nearly 24 hours and it was just now starting to hit me. My dimly lit living room wasn't making it any easier to stay up and wait for Luke, even though I had the gut feeling he wouldn't be coming back until the morning.

I was half asleep, noises still able to be heard but my eyes were shut and my body stayed still. It was then when I heard the rattling of my front door. It had been going one for a few minutes, but I had just woken up to it.

I shot up from my spot and ran to the door as I knew the only person who could be there was Luke. He was the only one that would realize he'd forgotten his keys at 2am which has sure enough happened more than once.

I yanked the door open to reveal my frazzled self to a blank faced Luke. I took a quick step outside and threw my arms around his torso, pressing the side of my face against his chest.

"Were you sleeping?" He quietly asked. He hadn't put his arms around me yet, but I could tell they were hovering over me as if he wanted to.

"I was going to." I mumbled. The cool air from it being so late hadn't mixed well with my short sleeve t-shirt. The only heat I was getting was from being so close to Luke.

"Oh." His plainly said. A few seconds passed and I still hadn't released from him as he hadn't wrapped me in just as tight. "I didn't mean to-"

"Goddammit Luke, just hug me back." I practically demanded. A sense of relief washed over me once I was pulled in tighter to him. I'm guessing that my ultimate worry was him being safe rather than if he was mad at me.

"Can we go inside?" I felt him tense up as I did the same once a breeze came by. I nodded my head and dropped my arms, backing into the house as Luke followed. I watched as he stepped inside, looking around as if he's never been in here before. He gently closed the door and finally looked back down at me.

I waited for him to speak up, to say something, anything, but nothing came out. We stood there just looking at each other and that's how things seemed to be. A lot of looks and thoughts, but nothing was said.

He brushed passed me, making me spin on my heels and watch his back as he walked towards his room. I wanted to stop him even though I had no idea what I was going to say or do, I just didn't want to be left with the feeling that he didn't want to speak to me.

Luke stopped as he reached the beginning of the hallway, looking over his shoulder at me. He looked me up and down before nodding towards his door which implied that he wanted me to come with him. I walked to him as he wanted, probably a little faster than I had intended.

It seemed that he had reached out to grab my hand, but pulled away before he could which only made me realize that it's what I wanted. I didn't want Luke to feel rejected by me or have to feel hesitant to do so many things.

I followed him into his room and stopped right as I stepped in. He pulled off his jacket which then followed his shirt, exposing his bare chest. I took in a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest as he crawled into his bed.

"Did you bring me in here to look at you shirtless or because you wanted to talk to me?" I asked, giving him a gentle smile.

"I'd say one of those is true." He pulled his blankets over his legs and propped his head up on his hand that was supported by his elbow. "And I don't want to talk." He jokingly smirked.

"You're such an idiot." I laughed, feeling more comfortable and at ease than I was before. Luke waved me over to his bed and my expression had fell more serious. The guilty feeling from making him upset was brought back up into my head.

I pulled the blanket back just so I could lay down next to him and wriggle underneath the comforter. I laid on my side as Luke faced me. My eyes would switch between his eyes to his shoulder, then to his collarbone, then back up to his other facial features. It was as if I needed to memorize him even though I already had.

I quickly gazed back up to his eyes which hadn't left mine the whole time. The tip of his tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth which inevitably caught my attention.

"I'm sorry." I barely spoke. Luke scooted towards me, just close enough to where he could reach out his hand and rest it on my cheek. The action made me bring my attention back up to him.

"Hey, we don't have to talk about it. That's not what I brought you in here for." He had a light smile on his face, assuring me that it was all fine.

"Then what am I in here for?" He took his hand off my face and used it to pull the covers over his bare chest. He sighed lightly and I could feel his legs curl into him, probably as an attempt to keep warm.

"I'm not going to let you go to bed by yourself when you're bothered." He chuckled.

"Who says I'm bothered?" I raised an eyebrow at his assumption.

"Come on, Autumn. I yelled at you, then left, then came back in the middle of the night." He explained. I tucked the loose piece of hair behind my hair that had fallen when Luke's hand had been resting there.

"I'm just glad you're all in one piece." I said. His room fell silent for a moment, causing it to be more awkward than anything. "Are you bothered?" I asked back in attempt to get rid of the feeling.

"What would I be bothered about?" He inched closer to me, making me move towards him as well. He was quite the bed hog and he had no shame in it either.

"Well, I mean, I just didn't know how you still felt about what I told you." I stammered. I stared down at the intricate patterns the seems made on his blanket, feeling my cheeks flush from my previous statement. He nodded gently, telling me he got what I was saying.

"I just didn't understand, but I do now. I respect it." He quietly said. "And to be honest I was a little worried about getting kicked out of this place too."

"But I don't want to just give it up, you know?" I replied. His eyes crept their way to mine and a half smile appeared on his face.

"How about we start over." He suggested. I gave him a confused look, unsure of what he meant.

"I don't think we can't start over a 12 year friendship." I laughed.

"No, no, no." His laugh matched mine, lacking seriousness. "I meant like you and I, us. As an object." His smile grew bigger as mine did too.

"Are we a lamp?" I questioned. He threw a hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes then opening them quickly.

"Oh my God, Autumn. No." He muttered, dropping his hand from his face. I suppressed my laugh seeing that Luke was taking this more serious than I was. "I want to take you on a date. Like a real date. The awkward dinner for two at some dimly lit restaurant that serves more pasta than I consume in a month." He shrugged his shoulders to the best of his ability, remembering that we were laying down.

"You don't even like pasta." I stated. I wasn't exactly trying to change the subject, but rather lighten the mood.

"I like mac and cheese." He replied, going along with it. He knew exactly what I was doing and could weave himself out of it by now.

"That's doesn't count." I pushed on his shoulder once, but he grabbed my hand just as I pulled back.

"Then you see my point." He laughed once again. I smiled at him then watched as he slowly intertwined out fingers together. We were both captivated by it, losing our train of thought even though I believed that it was gone a while ago. "Anyways. Why don't we head out Friday night? I'll surprise you." He offered. I raised my eyebrows at him and I glanced away from him for a second.

"I do like surprises." I nodded my head a couple times, agreeing with him.

"I know you do. So that's a yes?" He squeezed my hand once in hopes that I would say yes even though we both knew I would.

"Yeah." I whispered, grinning at him which he returned. I rolled over after a few silent moments and turned my back to him.

I laid still for what seemed longer than it probably was, the time seemed to be dragging on by this point. Soon enough I felt Luke's arm lightly rest on my waist, pulling me to him. I instantly molded into him, my back pressed against his chest and his arm was now wrapped tightly around me.

"I know you want to take this slow. It'll be a lot easier than giving it up." He mumbled into my ear. "I know you want to be cautious." The words fell from his mouth with ease which made me wonder if this is what he was thinking about for the silent minutes we shared.

"I don't like tip-toeing around my family." I confessed. Luke already knew this though, I don't exactly know why I was telling him again. I was happy that we were staring to find a solution to this, even though it wasn't technically a problem.

"You aren't obliged to tell them anything right now, but we can ride this out a few months and tell them once summer starts so we'll have two months to figure out what we'll do." He was searching for answers just as rapidly as I could process his previous ones. I sighed shortly and dropped my grip that clenched onto the blanket and found his hands that clung around me.

"That's six months away, Luke. A lot can happen in six months." I felt him tense up behind me just as I did, then instantly relax.

"Do you really think they're going to disapprove if this works out?" The soft laugh he let out trailed down the back of my neck, giving me light goosebumps. I wiggled under his arms, making him let go of me so I could roll back over and face him.

"No, it'll be like a dream come true for them." I smiled at him, more at the thought of my parents initial reaction if I told them Luke and I were 'official'.

"My parents included." He added, replicating my same smile I had on. He grabbed my hands once again, hoping that I wouldn't get to a point where I'd have to let go again. He closed the space between us, letting my head nuzzle into his chest. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"There's a lot to be afraid of." I mumbled. I felt his finger curl under my chin, lightly picking my head up to match his comforting eyes.

"Just let it come together."