Song: Right Now- One Direction

Clueless

Kinabukasan habang kumakain ng umagahan ay may sinabi si Ate Isabella sa akin na labis kong ikinagulat. 

"Uuwi na tayong Manila ngayong araw." Aniya na walang bahid ng pagloloko sa kanyang mukha.

Umangat ang kilay ko nang dahil sa gulat. We've only been here in this province for a very short time! Ang bilis naman ata kung babalik na agad kami. At tsaka hindi pa ako nakakapagbonding kasama si Mommy ng maayos!

"Ang bilis naman ata." Sabi ko. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay na para bang hindi niya nagustohan ang sinabi ko.

"Anong gusto mo? Dito ka nalang? Hindi dito nakatira si Timothy. Mas mabuti nang doon ka tumira sakanya para mas maalala mo lahat ng nakalimutan mo."

I pouted. "Pero paano si Mommy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about her, Sav. Manang Emily is here to take care of her. We'll visit her often if that's what you want. Kung 'yan ba ang ikatatahimik mo, e, may magagawa ba ako?" she whispered the last things that she said.

I was taken a back with that. Bakit parang galit siya? Hindi ko naman kasi inaasahan na uuwi na agad kami ng Manila ngayon. Akala ko matagal pa kaming mananatili dito. I turned to look at Timothy who seems to give my sister a warning look.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya upang ipahiwatig sakanya na ayos lang ako at hindi nasaktan doon sa sinabi ng kapatid ko. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay kong nakahawak sakanya. His mouth parted.

"It's okay." sabi ko. Ibinaling ko naman muli ang tingin kay Ate Isabella at tsaka siya nginitian. "Mag-iimpake na rin ako mamaya. Kasama ka ba namin sa bahay?"

She laughed because of that. Why do I find her behavior towards me so weird? It looks like she's mad at me and she doesn't even want to treat me like a sister.

Pero siguro, iniisip ko lang iyon. She must be keeping all the pain that she's feeling inside. May pinagdadaanan siguro siya pero mas pinipili niya lang na wag ipakita sa amin iyon.

"Ayoko namang umextra sa samahan niyo ni Timothy, Savannah. I have my own house."

Tumango ako. I smiled at her. "Will you visit me often?"

"Bakit mo natanong?"

"I want to spend some time with you. I want to get to know you better."

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin. She shifted uncomfortably from her seat. Napakamot siya sa kanyang buhok.

"It depends on my schedule. I'm a busy person." She reasoned out.

"Well maybe I could be the one who visits you," I smiled at her. "Baka may mga bagay na makakapagpaalala sa akin doon."

"No," she answered quickly, mukhang nabahala sa sinabi ko. "Ako na ang bibisita sa'yo. Tutulungan kitang ayusin ang mga gamit mo."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. I would love that! It seems that we both have a lot of memories together. I want to remember them! I really want to!

Mabilis akong nag-gayak ng gamit. Pumasok naman agad ako ng van nang pumarada ito sa harap ng bahay. Manang Emily is looking at me with a small smile on her face. Kumaway ako sakanya.

"Manang, bibisita po ako dito sainyo kapag nagkaoras. Ipagdasal niyo na rin po na sana... makaalala na ako."

Manang Emily smiled sadly at me.

"Sana nga." Aniya sabay tumingin kay Ate Isabella. "Marami ka pang kailangang malaman."

"Manang," Ate Isabella said in a warning tone.

Ngumiti muli si Manang sa amin at tsaka umatras. "Sige na. Baka maabutan pa kayo ng traffic. Ako na ang bahala sa Mommy niyo rito."

Nilingon ako ni Ate Isabella. Nginitian ko siya at tsaka ibinaling muli ang tingin kay Manang Emily.

"Maraming salamat po, Manang. Sana po magkita pa tayo ulit."

I waved at her for the last time before the driver ignited the engine and started to drive away from my mother's house.

Natulog lang ako sa buong byahe namin patungo sa Manila. I even dreamed about something. I was watching a game in that dream and I was with some friends that I can't even remember who. We were screaming so loud when the team that we are supporting scored. 

Tinulak ako ng mga kasama ko nang nakita niyang kinindatan ako ng isa sa mga players ng team na sinusuportahan namin. The guy who winked at me is very tall and massive. But the only thing is, his face is blurred. It doesn't seem like Timothy though. 

Timothy isn't as masculine as the man in my dreams. Kaya hindi ko rin alam kung sino ba ang taong iyon. 

Napangiti rin daw ako nang dahil doon. Kaya naman pagkagising ko ay agad na sumakit ang ulo ko. Timothy immediately asked me what's wrong. Hindi ko sinabi sakanya ang dahilan dahil ayaw kong malaman niya na hindi siya iyong lalaki sa panaginip ko.

I think these dreams are trying to tell me something. I will solve these dreams like a puzzle until I can finally remember everything.

Hindi sa sinasabi kong wala akong tiwala sa lahat ng sinasabi nila Timothy at Ate Isabella sa akin. It's just that I also want to follow what these dreams are telling me because I really think that they're part of my memory.

Malaki ang bahay ni Timothy. I didn't even expect to see a house as massive as this. He must be crazy rich. He chuckled beside me when he sees the surprised look on my face. He rests his hand on the small of my back.

"Let's go?" he asked. Doon nalang muli ako natauhan kaya naman ay agad akong tumango at hinayaan na siyang igiya ako papasok ng malaki niyang bahay.

When the front door opened, agad na sumalubong sa amin ang iilang kasambahay. I smiled awkwardly at them. Mukha namang nagulat sila nang makitang may kasama ang amo nila.

"Good afternoon po, sir." Ani ng isang kasambahay.

Timothy bowed his head slightly at her. Her eyes lingered at me then she returned it to Timothy again.

"Uh, Sir... hindi po namin inaasahan na may bibisita dito ngayon kaya pinatuloy po muna namin si-"

"Well, well, well... look who's here-" the girl who's walking down the stairs stopped in her tracks when she saw us.

Tinitigan ko lang siya. Who is she?

"Samantha! What are you doing-" she wasn't able to continue that because Timothy immediately spoke.

"Alisha! Kailan ka pa nandidito?" tanong nito sa babae na nasa harap namin. Tuluyan na siyang bumaba ng hagdan.

The surprised look didn't leave her face. She keeps on looking at me then back to Timothy again. Kumunot ang noo niya na para bang nagugulohan sa nangyayari.

She arched a brow at Timothy. Tinuro niya ako. I was taken a back with her gesture.

What is happening? Is she his girlfriend or... I don't understand. Someone please enlighten me?

"How did you..." hindi niya naituloy ang sinasabi nang dahil sa gulat. She widened her eyes at Timothy.

For some reason that made me turn to Timothy, too. His jaw is clenched. He's looking seriously at the girl in front of us.

Oh my god! Don't tell me I'm a house wrecker. Don't tell me this is his... wife?

"Uhm..." I said, breaking the silence that enveloped the room. "What is... happening?"

Nang dahil doon ay ibinaling muli ni Timothy ang tingin sa akin. Habang ang babae naman sa harap namin ay hindi parin makapaniwala sa nakikita. Timothy pulled me closer to him. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang magpadala sa hila niya.

"Savannah, this is... Alisha," he said. I pursed my lips when I made an eye contact with her. She held her mouth. "My sister."

I sighed in relief when he said that. Akala ko naman may sinisira na akong relasyon. Imagine, I just woke up from an amnesia at sasalubong sa akin ang isang rebelasyon na kabit pala ako? Who would want that?

Buti nalang at kapatid niya pala itong si Alisha. Agad akong napaayos ng tayo.  I stretched my arms towards her. I smiled.

"Hi, I'm Savannah! Nice to meet you!"

Sandali niyang tinitigan ang kamay ko. Kumunot naman muli ang noo niya. Ibinaling niya ang tingin sa kapatid sabay ibinaling muli sa akin. She cleared her throat.

"Alisha," she said while shaking my hand. I smiled widely.

Hindi naman maalis ang pagkakakunot ng kanyang noo. Halatang nagugulohan parin sa nangyayari. She bit her lip and smiled awkwardly at me.

"Did I heard it right? Savannah?" Tumango ako. Napaayos naman ng tayo si Timothy sa tabi ko. "Uhm... actually your name is-" she was about to say something when Timothy cuts her off.

"She's living in New York. I didn't know she's coming home today."

"Oh, no! It's okay. I don't mind her being here." Agap ko at tsaka nginitian muli si Alisha.

Natahimik naman muli ang buong paligid. The silence is making me feel uncomfortable every second that pass. Nagtititigan lang kami at walang sinabi.

I still don't understand what's happening.

"Uh..." Alisha trailed off. "How did this... happen? I mean, aren't you with-"

"Alisha," she glared at her brother when he stopped her from speaking again.

"Stop cutting me off!" She spat angrily at him. She turns to me again and her face softens. "Don't you remember me?"

I laughed uncomfortably. How do I say this to her? Maybe the news that I get into an accident didn't reach her. I suppose my sister and Timothy kept it private.

"I'm sorry..." I breathed hard. "I just woke up from an amnesia just a week ago. Uhm, I actually don't remember anything. B-But your brother here is helping me though."

Nilingon ko si Timothy at tsaka siya nginitian. He smiled back a little.

"O-Oh..." was the only thing she managed to say.

"Have we met before?" I asked, suddenly curious about her. Ngumiti siya.

"Actually, yes. We go to the same university."

My jaw dropped in surprise. Now I can't hide my happiness anymore. I smiled widely at her. Masaya ako na may makakatulong na naman sa akin na ipaalala ang lahat!

"I'm happy to know that! I hope I can get to know you better again and maybe... you can also help me remember some of the missing memories in my head. I would be glad."

She laughs. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko.

"Of course. You still have a lot of things to know! And I'm going to make you realize that you're trusting the wro-"

"Alisha, I think it's better-"

I jumped a little when Alisha groaned. Ramdam ko rin ang pagkabigla ni Timothy nang dahil sa ginawa ng kapatid.

"Seriously, Timothy what is this?!" pagalit niyang tinanong. Napabitaw siya sa kamay ko at masamang tiningnan ang kanyang kapatid.

Natigilan ako ng sandali. Why does it look like they aren't on good terms? Magkaaway ba sila? Dahil sa akin? Anong meron at parang bakit ayaw ni Timothy na ituloy ni Alisha ang lahat ng sinasabi niya?

Ugh! Sumasakit lang lalo ang ulo ko sa kakaisip ng mga ganitong bagay! I need the answers to these questions! Ayoko namang ako lang ang walang alam!

I feel like there's a wall built between me and the people I decided to trust ever since I woke up that's hindering me from knowing the truth. Feeling ko ang dami nilang tinatago sa akin na ayaw nilang sabihin.

Timothy put his arms around my shoulders. He leaned in a little to whisper something in my ear. "You should go and rest upstairs. I'm just going to talk to my sister."

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko. Ayaw ko sanang sundin ang gusto niya. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit ganito nalang ang reaksyon ng kapatid niya nang makita niya akong kasama siya.

But a part of me is also telling me to follow him. Sigurado naman ako na sasabihin rin sa akin ni Timothy mamaya ang nangyayari. Maybe she's just surprised to see me again? I don't really know.

That's why I followed the latter.

Timothy gently pushed me towards the stairs. Lumapit sa akin ang isang kasambahay upang igiya ako patungo sa kwarto na pagtutulugan ko.

Para akong tutang walang magawa kung hindi ang sumunod sa amo. It's hard to be clueless. Gustong-gusto kong malaman ang lahat lahat! Gusto kong malaman ang nangyari dati. Gusto kong malaman kung ano ba ako dati.

Pero ang hirap lang tanggapin na kailangan ko pang maghintay... hindi ko pupwedeng madaliin ang lahat dahil hindi nagiging maganda ang kapalit. The more I try to force myself to remember something, my head aches so bad.

Sinabi rin ng doctor sa akin noon na wag kong pilitin ang sarili ko na alalahanin ang lahat. I should take it slow.

I turn to look at them again. Nakita kong sinusundan ako ng tingin ni Timothy habang si Alisha naman ay ibinaling muli ang tingin sa kapatid matapos akong lingunin.

"Ano bang kahibangan 'to ha? What do you think you're doing?" I heard Alisha hissed. Timothy harshly grab her by her arm at tsaka hinila ito paalis sa tapat ng hagdan.

I sigh.