Song: Younger- Nightly

Secret

I don't know what happened when Alisha and Timothy went to talk to each other. Wala akong ginawa magdamag kung hindi ang ilibot lang ang tingin sa buong kwarto.

It's very big and spacious. Ang mga maleta ko ay nasa gilid at hindi pa naiaayos. May walk in closet sa loob ng kwarto at meron ring sariling bathroom.

I stood up and went to my luggages. They are a lot and they seem new. Nang binuksan ko ang isang maleta ay sinalubong ako ng mga bagong damit. My forehead creased.

Mahilig ba akong mag-shopping noon kaya ang dami ko paring mga gamit na hindi naisusuot? O baka naman binili nila ito para sa akin? But... what for?

I shrugged my shoulders at naupo nalang sa sahig. I'm planning on arranging these tonight since I have nothing else to do than to stay inside this room.

Well, I was asked to stay here. Hindi ko naman pinili na manatili sa kwarto dito. I wanted to talk to Alisha. But it seems like they have some important matter to talk about so, I don't really mind.

I was just about to remove some of the clothes out of my luggage when Timothy suddenly entered the room. I was taken a back with his sudden entrance so I gasp.

"You scared me..." I said while I pressed my palms over my chest to check my rapid heartbeat.

Timothy chuckled and entered the room. "I'm sorry, love."

Ngumiti nalang ako at inabala muli ang sarili sa pag-aayos ng damit.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Arranging my things." I said, basically stating the obvious.

Timothy cleared his throat. "But you can do that tomorrow. You must be tired from all the traveling that we did. You should take a rest. Bukas na 'yan."

He tried to reach for my arm. Binalik ko naman muli ang tingin sa mga gamit na binabalak ko na sanang ayusin.

"Come on. You can do that tomorrow." ani Timothy. "Isabella will come and visit here. Maybe she can help you with this."

Ngumiti siya sa akin. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang magpakawala ng malalim na hininga.

Timothy guided me towards the bed. Naupo kami doon. He stared at me for a while before he reminded me that I should sleep early.

I nod my head. It's one of the things that my doctor told me. I wish I will dream a part of my memory again tonight.

Tonight, I dreamed about singing in front of people. I was playing the piano and I feel like I'm dedicating this song to someone. The faces in my dreams were all blurred. That's why I don't really know who these people are. 

When I finished singing, I went to sit beside a guy. This feels like the man on my previous dreams. Hindi ko parin maaninag ang mukha at hindi ko parin alam kung sino siya. I feel like he's really a big part of my memory. 

Nagising na lamang ako nang maramdaman ko ang mayamos na haplos sa aking pisngi. I opened my eyes and saw Timothy. He smiled at me. 

"Good morning." he greeted. 

Iba ang pakiramdam ko sa lalaking nasa panaginip ko kumpara sa nararamdaman ko kay Timothy. What I feel towards him is weird. I couldn't explain it. 

"Breakfast is ready. You should come and join us." 

I tried to smile at him. Timothy is a nice person. But I just hope that he's also telling me the truth. 

Naghilamos muna ako bago ako tuluyang bumaba. Alisha is already on the dining table when I went down. She looks up at me and smiled. 

"Good morning!" she greeted. Ngumiti ako. "Come and sit beside me." 

I obliged. She seems like a nice and fun person. Sa tingin ko rin marami siyang alam tungkol sa akin. I hope she helps me remember the missing pieces of my memory. 

Sinulyapan kami ni Timothy sa gilid ng kanyang mga mata at inabala ang sarili sa pagbabasa sa dyaryo. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera habang umiinom ng kape. 

"You know... you really need to know a lot of things!" Alisha started. Ramdam ko naman ang pag-ayos ng upo ni Timothy. 

"Yeah. I still can't remember anything about my life before. It sucks not knowing anything."

She agreed with me. "Yeah, it also sucks that people out there are taking advantage of the situation." she chuckled. 

Timothy cleared his throat. Binitawan niya ang dyaryong hawak at mas itinuon ang pansin sa amin. He looks seriously at his sister. My forehead creased. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders and pouted her lips. 

"I mean... it's-"

"Alisha." Timothy called. She turned her gaze to her brother. 

"What?" 

Hindi sumagot si Timothy at sa halip ay seryoso lang siyang tiningnan nito. He gave her a meaningful look. When Alisha sighed heavily, that where I knew that our conversation's over. 

Yep, something about this feels really, really weird. 

Pagkatapos kumain ay inabala ko ang sarili sa pag-aayos ng gamit. I was almost over with one luggage when I saw my sister entered the room. I immediately smiled. 

"Hey!" I greeted. "How are you?"

She closed the door and walked towards me. 

"Fine." she answered. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin hanggang sa naupo siya sa tabi ko. She grab a shirt then she started folding it. 

I smiled a little. Pinagpatuloy ko ang ginagawa.

"How are you doing here?" she asks. 

"I'm doing great. Uhm, the house is really big. I wasn't expecting it." 

"That's because Timothy is a famous businessman. He worked hard to have this kind of mansion." 

Tumango ako. Halata naman. Timothy works really hard. I've noticed that even when I've only been with him for a week. 

"I can see that. I'm surprised her sister's here." 

Matagal bago siya nagsalita muli. She sigh. 

"Have you talked to her?" 

"Kind of."

"Personal things?" 

"We haven't talked anything about that yet." I explained. 

"Good. I don't want you near her."

My forehead creased. Why is that? Alisha seems like a good person. So, it would be unnecessary if I will distance myself from her for no apparent reason. 

"Why?" I asked curiously. Ate Isabella shakes her head. 

"Just don't. Sundin mo nalang ang sinasabi ko."

I raised a brow. I didn't want to do that especially when I feel like she's one of those people who knows a lot about me and can also help me remember anything about my past. 

Hindi nalang ako nag-salita at pinagpatuloy nalang ang pag-aayos sa gamit. We were surrounded with silence. I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Hindi ko nalang ginawa pang big deal dahil lagi namang malamig ang trato ni Ate Isabella sa akin. So, what would I expect?

When I reached for an old shirt, may biglang bumagsak na kwintas sa aking hita. 

"Oh..." I said, then I immediately grab the necklace on my thigh. Ramdam kong napabaling ng tingin sa akin si Ate Isabella. 

Inangat ko ito at sinuring mabuti. Hinawakan ko ang pendant at nakita may nakaengrave na letra doon. 

Z & S

I turn to my sister. 

"Is this mine?" tanong ko at pinakita sakanya ang isang pendant. 

Her mouth parted. Nanahimik siya at nangapa pa ng sasabihin. Hindi agad siya nakasagot at nanatili lang nakatingin sa kwintas na hawak ko. She gulped and raised her chin, she looks unbothered.

"No. You just borrowed that. Akin na at ako na ang magbabalik niyan sa pinaghiraman mo." 

She was about to snatch it away from me when I stopped her. I smiled. 

"It's okay. Ako nalang siguro ang magbabalik. It seems like I borrowed this for a long time already. I want to say sorry that it took me time before I returned it personally-"

"No, you won't. Akin na at ako na ang magbabalik." she tried to reach it to me again. Inilayo ko ito sakanya. 

"No. I will-"

"Savannah-"

"Stop ordering me around." I cut her off. She looks taken a back. "I know what I'm doing. You don't always have to dictate me." 

She pursed her lips and took a deep breath. She looks coldly at me. Later on, she scoffs insultingly. 

"Fine. Akala mo naman alam mo kung ganito galing 'yan."

"It doesn't matter. It's easy to figure things out." 

"So, you mean you don't need our help anymore? Madali lang naman pala para sa'yo ang lahat, e." 

"That's not what I meant..."

"Oh, it is!" 

"Why are you reacting this way?" I almost exploded. "Why does it feel like you don't want me to do things on my own? Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras magrerely ako sa lahat ng sinasabi niyo sa akin. I also need to make a move. 

"At gagawin ko ang lahat para makaalala ako. So, don't... ever stop me on doing what I wanted to do. Feeling ko ayaw niyong makaalala ako, e." 

She rolled her eyes at me. Binagsak niya ang hawak na damit. She stood up and looks down on me angrily. 

She scoffs. "'Yan pala ang iniisip mo tungkol sa amin. Why don't you just be grateful?"

I sighed heavily. "That's not my point-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear any of it." aniya sabay lumabas na ng kwarto ko. 

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. I let out an exaggerated sigh then I look over at the necklace again. I smiled sadly and kept it inside my drawer. 

I spent some time reading some books for the next few days. I also met my "friends" before. Pinakilala siya sa akin ni Timothy nang umalis kami upang mamili ng gamit. I was really surprised that I'm friends with people who are really into parties. 

I feel like I'm not that kind of person. Meeting new people from my past has been stressing me out lately. Madalas rin na sumasakit ang ulo ko dahil pinipilit kong alalahin ang mga alaalang mayroon ako kasama sila. 

I know I should stop in forcing myself to remember everything. Siguro hindi pa talaga oras para maalala ko ang lahat kaya siguro kailangan ko ring maghinay hinay. 

I was busy reading a book when Alisha suddenly entered the room. 

"Hi," she said. I closed the book and turned to her. 

"Hey!" 

"What's up?" she asks. Tumabi siya sa akin sa kama. 

"Just reading a book that Timothy gave me." 

Ngumuso siya at tsaka tumango. Tiningnan niya ako at tsaka nginitian. 

"It's good to see you look so well. You used to be really skinny before." 

"Really?! Thank god I ate a lot." 

"Yeah, it sucks that your works requires you to be skinny." 

I arched a brow. "My work?"

"You used to be a model, you know?"

"A-A model? Hmm... no wonder why I was featured in a magazine." 

"You knew you were featured?"

"Manang Emily showed me a picture. I was with a person." 

Kumunot ang noo niya. She pouted and tried to remember something.

"Yes, I remember. You were always featured in a magazine together with Zach."

"Who's Zach?" I asked curiously. She gulped and looks away. 

"You know I just sneaked into your room. My brother doesn't really want me near you. He thinks so ill of me." 

"Why is that? You seem like a nice person. Mukha ring marami tayong pinagsamahan noon." 

"Yeah, and I also did a terrible thing so..." 

My mouth parted. "Can you tell me about it?" 

"Your ex-boyfriend cheated on you because of me." my mouth parted. Gulat na gulat sa rebelasyong sinasabi niya sa akin. "But... I just want you to know that I regretted what I did. I've been such a terrible friend. So, let me make this up to you. Let me help you remember." 

I bit my lip. Did that cause our friendship to break? Hindi agad ako nakasagot. 

"I don't remember that happening so I don't really know what to say. But... you seem to know a lot of things about me." I said. 

"I do." 

Tumango ako. The owner of the necklace has been bothering me for quite some time now. I feel like that person was also a part of my memory. 

Umusog ako upang kunin ang kwintas sa aking drawer. Sinundan lang ako ng tingin ni Alisha. I put the necklace on my palm at tsaka ipinakita sakanya ito. 

She picked it up from my palm then she examined it. Napansin niya rin ang nakaengrave na letra sa kwintas na iyon. 

"Z & S." she said. Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi at tsaka binalik sa akin ang kwintas. "I think that belongs to Zachary Dela Merced." she said. Umangat ang kilay ko. 

The name seems familiar. I think Ate Isabella already mentioned that to me before. I tried to think who he is... nanahimik ako ng sandali.

"Zachary..." I whispered. I tried to remember again. "Oh, the jeweler!

Alisha looks taken a back. Kumunot ang noo niya. She tried not to laugh. 

"Why? What's wrong?" tanong ko. 

"Who told you he's a jeweler, Sam?"

"My sister. She told me that I was featured in the magazine together with him because he's a jeweler. She told me that he wants me to endorse his products so... why are you laughing?"

Hindi naiwasan ni Alisha na mapatakip ng mukha nang dahil sa tawa. I look ridiculously at her. Is there something funny?

"Your sister will really do anything to make you believe her." 

"What do you mean?"

She turns to me seriously this time. Ipinatong niya ang kanyang kamay sa aking balikat at tsaka ako tiningnan sa mata. 

"Look, you cannot trust anyone around you. I'm not saying that you can trust me but I promise that I will help you. May mga bagay na sinasabi sila sa'yo na hindi naman totoo. It may be really hard to explain this to you now. But trust me, you will know everything soon." 

"Sa tingin ko mas makakabuti na makilala mo si Zach. He's a big part of your life. He knows a lot of things about you. But I'm asking you a favor, please don't tell Timothy about this." she whispered. "Let's keep this a secret between us." 

Bahagya akong napaatras sa sinabi niya. 

"I know where Zachary lives. I'm friends with his colleagues. They're kind of updated with his life. So, if you wanna meet him, I can bring you there."