Song: Please Remember- LeAnn Rimes

Kulang

"But wait, I have to pay for these first." Tinuro niya ang mga librong hawak. Ngumiti akong muli sakanya.

"Of course," I said. And by instict, I grabbed the book away from her arms. Ako na mismo ang nagdala ng mga ito sa cashier. She followed me.

Buong akala niya siguro ay dadalhin ko lang iyon sa cashier, but she has no idea that I was also going to pay for it. Kaya laking gulat nalang niya nang makita niyang ako na ang nagbayad nito para sakanya.

"I can pay for that..." She whispered.

"I know. But I used to do this all the time with you." Her mouth parted at tsaka tumango.

Ako na ang nagdala ng mga libro niya at tsaka ko siya iginiya patungo sa labas. I opened the glass door for her. She smiled a little at me for the kind gesture. Dinala ko siya sa aking sasakyan at agad na pinatunog ito.

She seems surprised with the sight of my car. Ganito rin ang reaksyon niya noong unang beses na inaya ko siya sa date noong college pa kami. I smirked.

"That was your reaction, too, when you saw my car for the first time." Sabi ko. Nilingon niyang muli ako.

"Really?" That made her smile a little. I nodded my head and I opened the door for her. "Thanks."

Nang umikot ako sa aking sasakyan ay hindi ko na maitago ang kasiyahan. It's time for you to stop living in lies, Sam. It's time for you to know the truth.

I drove as fast as I could towards our house. Habang nasa byahe ay kanina pa tinitingnan ni Sam ang mga binili kong libro para sakanya. She turns to me and pouted.

"I can really pay for these..." she said. Tumawa ako.

"It's not a big deal, really. Isipin mo nalang na regalo ko 'yan para sa'yo."

"But it isn't my birthday. My birthday is in three months." 

I smirked. "What date exactly?"

"November 18."

Tumango ako. I'm glad she knows when her real birthday is.

"Who told you that?" I asked.

"Why? Was it not real?" she asked surprisingly. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niya sa akin.

"No. That one is real. Your name isn't."

"What was my real name, then?" She whispered. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. She may find it hard to believe, pero ito talaga ang totoo.

"Your real name is Samantha Greyshel Enriquez. You were named after your mother, Greyshel Trinidad."

Nakita kong kumunot ang noo niya sa akin. I licked my lips and brought back my eyes to the road again.

"What? My mother's name is Calliope Enriquez." Nagugulohan niyang sinabi.

I sigh heavily. At pati talaga iyon ay tinago niya sakanya ha? Paano ko kaya ipapaliwanag sakanya ito?

"She's not your real mother." She paused for a while. Her mouth parted slowly.

"H-How?"

"You're an illegitimate child, Sam. Your dad-"

"That's nonsense! That's not true!" She tried to laugh. Pero ramdam sa tawa niya na nagugulohan siya.

"It is. I know... It is hard for you to believe it but this is the truth... Your-"

"Stop." Umiling siya. "I don't want to hear about it."

I pursed my lips at tsaka sinubukang tumango. Ipinatong ko ang aking siko sa may bintana at sabay pinaglaruan ang labi. Habang ang isa ko namang kamay ay nakahawak sa manibela. How am I going to explain it to her now?

"Can we just... talk about something else? Can you tell me how did we become related?"

"I'll explain everything to you once we reach our destination."

She nodded her head and sighed heavily. "Okay..."

When we reached our house, I immediately parked it in front of the porch.

"This was your house, right?" She asks once we got down the car. I was just about to open the door for her but she already did the work for me. Pinasadahan niya ng tingin ang buong bahay.

"This is our house," sabi ko at tsaka seryoso siyang binalingan. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.

"Wait. I thought you have a fiancée?" She tries to laugh while asking that question.

"I was referring to you."

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti niya nang marinig niya iyon.

"Well... I wasn't able to propose to you. But I already claimed it since you made a promise that you'll marry me." I explained.

"I... made that promise?" Agaran akong tumango sakanya. Iyon ang pangako niyang hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan. Because out of all the promises she made, this one sounded real the most.

Napapikit siya. Tila may inaalala. Umiling siya at tsaka tumingin muli sa akin.

"Why weren't you able to propose?"

"The accident happened." Her breathing hitched. "Papunta ka sa SuperBowl ng oras na iyon. That's where I'm planning to propose to you. But then, we heard that you get into an accident so I had to cancel the plan."

She tries to nod her head. Hinilot niya ang kanyang sentido.

"Why don't we get inside so I can explain everything to you? Shall we?"

"Okay..."

We went up the porch and I immediately opened the door using my key. Nang binuksan ko ito ay bumungad sa amin ang naghahalikang si Ryan at Tony. I saw Sam's eyes widened. So did mine. Napatigil sila nang makita kami.

I never saw them kissing kapag nandito ako. Siguro kapag wala ako ay madalas na nilang ginagawa ito.

"Right," I started. Napakagat ako ng aking labi at tsaka nahihiyang binalingan ng tingin si Sam.

There's a ghost smile on her lips.  "Oh, I wasn't expecting that to welcome me here." Sam whispered and she tried to hide her smile. Lumingon siya sa akin. I smiled a little at her.

And that's it... I fell more in love with her.

She returned the smile at tsaka binaling muli ang tingin sa dalawa na nakatayo na ngayon. Ryan looks surprised to see her again here.

"Oh my god! Does she remember everything now?" Tanong ni Ryan. Lalapit na sana siya ngunit agad ko siyang pinigilan.

"Not yet. She's here because she wants to know the truth."

"Oh... That's good! That's good!" Nagagalak na ngumiti sakanya si Ryan. He walked towards her to shake her hand.

"I'm Ryan." Pakilala niya.

"He's your best friend." sabi ko. Ngumiti naman si Ryan kay Sam. She nodded her head. "And that's Tony," I pointed at Tony who's behind Ryan. "He's your best friend's husband."

"Oh! That's nice... No wonder why we were welcomed with that." She said referring to what Ryan and Tony were doing a while ago.

I scoffed at napatingin nalang sa paa para itago ang ngiti. Ryan blushed because of that.

"Oh, silly you! You used to do that with him! On the sofa!"

Mabilis akong napaangat ng tingin kay Ryan. I widened my eyes at him. This time, si Sam naman ang namula ngayon. Unti-unti siyang lumingon sa akin. Nag-iwas naman ako ng tingin.

I raised my brows at her to tell her that it's true. We do that. A lot.

"Oh..." She mumbled then she bit her lip.

"Let's just get inside, okay?" I said, trying to remove the awkward air.

Tumawa si Ryan at Tony at hinayaan na kaming makapasok sa bahay namin. Sam roamed her eyes around.

"This is a very nice home." She smiled to herself.

"You were the one who designed the interior of this house." I informed her. She quickly turns to me.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You were a licensed Interior Designer."

Her mouth parted. She roamed her eyes again. "I didn't know about that..." She kinda seem happy with that information dahil nakita ko ang kaunting pag-angat ng labi niya nang marinig niya iyon.

She continued roaming her eyes around the house hanggang sa tumama ang tingin niya sa mga litrato doon. Naglakad siya patungo doon. Sinundan namin siya ng tingin. Isa-isa niyang tiningnan ang mga litrato.

There are five frames placed on the table. Ang mga litratong nakalagay doon ay ang litrato naming dalawa galing sa pinakauna naming photoshoot na magkasama. Ang isa naman ay ang litrato namin kasama ang buong pamilya ko noong huling family dinner na nadaluhan namin on her 25th birthday. Ang isa ay litrato nila ng daddy niya kasama ang lolo't lola niya sa Pangasinan. Ang isa ay litrato noong kasal nila Ryan at ang huli at pinakamalaking frame ay walang nakalagay doon.

We purposely left that frame empty. I remember that Sam left a paper inside that says "picture on our wedding day". Naalala ko na sobrang saya niya noong sinulat niya iyan. I can't help but admire her more for that. I even remember her saying that she can't wait to place our picture inside that frame.

Lumapit ako sakanila Ryan. "I think it's better if you'll just leave us for a while. I'll try my best to explain everything to her."

Ryan hesistated for a moment but in the end, Tony manages to force him to go upstairs. Hinarap ko muli si Sam na hindi parin tapos sa kakatingin sa mga litrato. I walk towards her.

Nilingon niya ako ng saglit at tsaka naman nag-iwas muli ng tingin.

"Am I the one who put this here?" She asked without looking at me. Tinuro niya iyong pinakamalaking frame na walang laman.

"Yeah," I answered without hesitation.

She sighed heavily. Tinuro niya naman iyong litrato na kasama ang buong pamilya ko.

"Who are these people?"

"That's my whole family." She nodded her head, trying to comprehend everything.

She breathed hard before she turns to me again. She bit her lip at dismayadong umiling sa akin. My forehead creased.

"Why? What's the problem, Sam?" I asked.

Sa halip na sagutin ang tanong ko ay nilagpasan niya lang ako. She slumped down on the sofa at tsaka itinago ang kanyang mukha sa kanyang palad. Akala ko nung una ay umiiyak siya. Pero nang inangat niyang muli ang tingin sa akin ay nakitaan ko siya ng frustration sa kanyang mga mata.

"How did we meet?" She asks. Seryoso ko siyang tiningnan at tsaka umupo sa sofang katabi ng inuupan niya.

It will be hard for me to explain this in one day, and it will also be hard for her to take this in one day. But I'll try my best for her to understand everything. I just want Isabella and Timothy to stop feeding Sam's mind with lies. Siguro bilang lang iyong mga katotohanan na sinasabi nila kay Sam.

I told her everything from the very beginning. Hindi man nandoon ang lahat ng nangyari, ang importante ay nandoon iyong point. I told her about how we started off our relationship as fake then later on we started developing feelings for each other. But then I was dumb that time so I pushed her away. I told her that she went away to New York to pursue her modeling career, and I followed her. And there, I tried showing her that this time, I will no longer push her away but instead, show her how much I love her.

I told her that Isabella almost ruined our relationship again on Ryan and Tony's engagement party. I almost went back here in the Philippines because I thought I was already losing hope with her. But then, she proved me wrong again. She welcomed me back. She asked me to come back to her and that's what I did. We were happy for several months and in those months, she made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I almost proposed but she told me she wasn't ready so I waited until she is.

While I was in the middle of telling her everything... She made me stop. She held her forehead and she started caressing it. Sinubukan kong lumapit sakanya but she backed away. I was taken a back.

Naiintindihan ko. Siguro gulat lang siya sa nangyayari. I know it will be hard for her to take. But this is real. This is her real life. The life she lived ever since she woke up was all a lie.

I heard her groan in pain.

"Ugh! It's coming back again!" She said while screaming in pain. I panicked.

"Hey, what's happening? Do you... Do you need anything? Medicine?"

Nakita ko ang pag-iling niya. I stood up trying to figure out what to do. I seriously want to give her something that will make the pain stop.

"Should I... S-Should I..." Hindi ko maituloy ang pagtatanong ko dahil sa sobrang pag-aalala.

"Just w-water..." She said at mabilis naman akong nagtungo sa kusina upang kumuha ng tubig. I came back not long after and I immediately handed it to her.

Kinuha niya ito sa kamay ko at dahan-dahang uminom. When she finished, she tried to breathe heavily. Nakatulala siya ng ilang sandali. Bago niya ibinalik muli ang tingin sa akin.

Akala ko ay naalala na niyang muli ang lahat. 'Yun pala ay...

"I'm sorry... But I just... can't. I can't process everything. I don't even know if you're telling me the truth-"

"Sam, I am-"

"I can't do this anymore. I can't... I can't..." she stood up and she grabbed her things. I ran my hand through my face and cursed softly.

Nang malapit na siya sa pinto ay tumayo ako upang pigilan siya sa pag-labas.

"Why?" she turned to me again. "Don't you really remember anything? Kahit kaunti lang doon sa sinabi ko?"

Umiling siya. Bumagsak ang balikat ko. I was trying so hard for her to remember everything but fuck it! She can't!

"Why?" I asked again.

I sounded so weak now. Konting-konti nalang talaga ay mawawalan na ako ng pag-asa na maaalala niya ang lahat. Pero dahil mahal ko siya, pagtyatyagaan kong ipaalala sakanya ang lahat ng iyon.

Kahit na wala nang pag-asa. Even if it meant that I'll be weak again, I'll still try to make her remember everything. That's how much I love her.

And that's how much I'm afraid of losing her again. Completely.

Sam sighed heavily before she answered. "It's because I couldn't get myself to believe that this is all true! I mean, yeah we pictures together... B-But it doesn't seem like... us. I'm sorry but I couldn't... I couldn't feel a damn thing."

My jaw dropped. No...

She opened the door then she walks out. Hindi na ako nagkaroon pa ng lakas ng loob na habulin siya dahil hinang-hina na ako. Hinang-hina na ako para sakanya... Para sa amin...

I've been pretending to be strong for such a long time now. I've been strong ever since the accident happened. But now, I just can't take it anymore. I can no longer conceal my feelings. I'm too weak for her.

I slumped down on the seat again. Sa sobrang frustration ay tinabig ko ang vase na nasa center table at mabilis na nabasag iyon. That made a sound. Agad namang narinig nila Tony at Ryan iyon kaya sila agad bumaba. I frustratingly ran my fingers through my hair.

"Zach, what's happening?" Tanong ni Ryan. He immediately roamed his eyes around at nang makitang wala si Sam dito ay ibinaling niya ang tingin sa akin.

"Where is she?"

"She went... She went away."

"What? Why?"

"She can't take it, Ryan. She can't. Fucking. Take it." Mariin kong sinabi.

Both of them looks taken a back.

"She told me that she can't do this anymore," my lips started quivering. "That everything I told her doesn't feel like me, it doesn't feel like us. And she doesn't feel a fucking thing even if she tried to! Ano pa bang kailangan kong gawin? Huh? Nagkulang ba ako? Kulang pa ba iyong ginawa ko?"

"Zach, it's not-"

"I can't do this anymore, Ryan. This is making me so devastated and I just want to fucking give up!"

I bit my lip hard that I can almost taste blood on it. I felt a tear streamed down my face pero hindi ko pinansin iyon. I'm too weak now. Too weak.

And I don't know what to do anymore.