//Aneel

The big day. The day I finally get to see my mum who I have been grieving over the last two decades. Two decades! Would she look the same? Minus the whole age thing of course. Does she still think about me? But then again, she couldn't have because she forgot everything. But how does a mother forget their children? This is my mum! The one I loved the most in the whole entire world. But then again, she was the reason why I did what I did. If she was in my life, would I still be the same person? Would I have done what I did? Would I be married to Aisha, ready to start a family? Would-

"Aneel, you okay?"

I shook my head, getting the thoughts out of my mind. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I replied. "Yeah, babe . Just washing my face." I turned the tap on and watched as the water swirled round before finally going down the drain. I inhaled and exhaled before splashing the cold water on my face. I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw my bloodshot eyes.

After Aisha had fallen asleep, I lay there drifting of into space, creating scenarios on how the meeting with my mum would go. Aisha knocked on the door again and I groaned. She could be so impatient sometimes.

"Aneel, you're worrying me. You've been in there for a while now."

"I'm fine!" I snapped. I heard her sigh but no movement.

"I'll be here waiting if you want to talk."

"I don't want to fucking talk about it! How many times do I have to tell you? From this morning you've been following me around like some lost puppy and watching my every move as though I'm gonna break down and-" I groaned when I felt my eyes water. No, Aneel! "I don't want to do this anymore," I whispered. "I want everything to go back to the way it was." I sat down on the floor beside the sink and brought my knees up to my chest. "I don't want to see her. I don't want to see my sister." I heard Aisha fiddling around with the doorknob until she finally opened the door. I looked back down at my knees and sighed.

"Lucky its one of 'em twisting ones. Now, tell me what happened between midnight and now?"

"I don't know," I murmured against my knee. She sighed and sat down beside me on the floor. The thought must have went through her head a thousand times because she always complained about going into the bathroom without any slippers, and here she was sitting on the floor. "I actually don't know. I'm...I'm scared, Aisha. What if she isn't the same person?"

"Well how will you know unless you go?" She put her hand over mine and gave it a squeeze. "You have to find out."

"No, I can't do it." She held my face in her hand and slowly turned it to her. "No, don't do that. I can't do it, Aisha."

"Aneel..."

"No! No, please don't change my mind, I don't want to do this. Please!"

She smiled at me and leaned her forehead against mine. "You can do this, Aneel. I know you can." I slowly turned so I was facing her completely. I closed my eyes and sighed. "Hey, look at me. You have to talk to me Aneel, otherwise I won't know how to help you." I wanted to open my eyes and tell her how I felt at this exact moment, but I din't know. I didn't know how I was feeling at that time so I couldn't tell her anything. I felt the lump in my throat again and tried to swallow it but it wouldn't grow down. My jaw was aching from holding back the tears that I had no choice to let them fall. I expected to cry a little but my whole body shook with the sobs. Aisha tightened her arms around me and buried my face in her neck.

Not once did she speak to me or say anything until I quitened down. Her arms loosened around me but were still wrapped around me. She kissed my shoulder once and sighed. "I just got my life back...I finished grieving and now they're back. Why, Aisha? Why after everything?"

"I can't answer that, Aneel. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. But listen to me, I know you can do this."

"I must look so pathetic to you right now."

"No. I see a man that I love and a man at the best. You're just scared, Aneel. I can't even imagine what you're going through. But you know what you're gonna do?" I slowly smiled, knowing what she would say next. "You're gonna show me that the man I love is sitting in my arms by going and facing fears. You're gonna go and see your mum, Aneel." Seconds passed and she sighed. "And you're gonna do it yourself."

I quickly leaned back to face her. "No. You said you would come with me. You promised me!"

She shook her head and I stood up. "Aneel, listen to me. I can't go with you. I'm not feeling well and-"

"How could you be so selfish? This is me going through the toughest time and my wife isn't even going to help! You fucking promised me you would come with me."

"This is something you and your mum need to do alone. She needs you there only. With me there there will be barriers. Trust me, Aneel, I'm doing this for the best of you."

I rubbed my forehead with my hand and groaned. She stood up from the ground and was facing me. Dropping my hands to my side, I sighed. "You promised. You promised me you would come with. I need you there with me. I can't do this alone."

"You can, Aneel. Listen, the last I want to do is throw you into the water. I want to be there with you and help you through every difficulty you have in life and I would be there and hold your hand throught the day if I could- but this, Aneel," she whispered. She lightly put her hands on my cheek and took a step closer to me. "This is something that you need to do alone. I'll be here waiting for you to return. If you need me to do something, you ring me up and let me know. Any time, Aneel. If you think that you can't drive then you call me up and I'll take a cab to wherever you are and drive you back home. Understand?"

"I need you," I whispered. I raised my hands over hers and closed my eyes.

"And I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I promise you. Now, do you want me to set out your clothes or you gonna do it yourself?" I smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"I realised something." She smiled at me and put her hands behind my neck. "Most of our intimate moments have been here, in this very bathroom. So if someone asks me where our first kiss was, I would tell them that it was in here." I looked behind me and took two steps back. "Right here." She laughed and then leaned up to give me a kiss. "Just like old times."

"I'm glad that I can make you happy."

"Thank you." I slowly pulled her out the bathroom and into the kitchen. "I'm gonna make pancakes. You want any?"

"No. You need to get ready."

"But I want pancakes," I whined. She sighed and put her hands up.

"Whatever you want then." I looked around the kitchen and saw the food on the counter. It looked like she was going to cook breakfast.

"Babe, if you're planning to make breakfast then let me know." She quickly shook her head and went to put the stuff away. I pulled her back in front of me and smiled. "You had breakfast planned didn't you?" Her hand went to my chest and she played with the button on my polo t-shirt.

"I just thought that you would like a nice breakfast. But you can make your pancakes. They sound and taste better."

"No, babe, you had something planned and-"

"Just make your pancakes, Aneel."

I bit my lip as I looked at the counter again. She smiled at me and her hands went to the back of my neck. I didn't want to upset her by not letting her cook but then again, I was really craving pancakes.

"Aneel, seriously, if you don't make the pancakes, I will. And you know how bad that got last time so do you want a repeat of it?"

"I don't want to upset you. You had something planned for us-"

"Aneel, it's only breakfast," she said with a laugh. "Listen, how many more mornings will we have for me to make you breakfast? Cravings only happen every so and so."

"You make me sound as though I'm on my period or something," I groaned.

"If there is something you're not telling me-" I cut her off by laughing. I leaned down and kissed her nose.

"Baby, after the amount of times we did anything, you know too well that that's not fake." I watched her cheeks turn pink. She looked down and lightly smacked my stomach. I sighed and she looked up, worry in her eyes. "How did I get so lucky?" I whispered against her lips. "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here. And I know I seem emotionally unstable at the moment and this isn't what happens during the first few weeks of marriage but I couldn't thank you enough by standing by me. And I-" I sighed again. My hands were buried in her hair and I pulled her in closer to give her a kiss. There were no words to explain how much she means to me. No words that I could say that will show her. "And I love you so fucking much."

She smiled at me and took a step back. My hands dropped to my side. After everything, she just smiles? I reached towards her but she shook her head. "You know the exact moment when I noticed I was in love with you?" I chuckled and leaned back onto the counter. "It was two months before we got married. I knew but I kept on questioning it, trying to make myself forget or to change my mind because I found it stupid I was in love with you without us even getting married. Two months before we got married, Aneel. I knew that you were the one I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Why else do you think I'm so ready to have children with you? If I had not known my feelings for you, I would have put it off but you, Aneel." She ran a hand through her open hair and stepped in front of me again. "First thing, a wife should look after her husband, do what makes him happy, within reasons of course. She should help him when time gets rough and be there to support him. And I was just fulfilling my duties as a wife. But as the woman who loves you, I'll always be here to hold your hand and guide you through tough times. I'll be here when you need to talk no matter how much you annoy and if you don't need to talk, I'll be here to hold you. Don't ever thank me for that."

I leaned my forehead against hers and smiled. Truly, how much more perfect could she get. I felt her lips against mine and closed my eyes. "You know, I will never stop saying thank you. Marrying you has to be the best thing I have done in my life."

"Or probably the worst. Don't know yet, do we?" I opened my eyes as I chuckled. I pulled her body right against mine and groaned. The things she did to me...

"Fuck, if only I had enough time," I said with a groan. "Just wait till I come home."

"Not happening. I just about breathe when you kiss me. You know how hard it is when your nose is blocked and with you and your long bloody kisses." I ran my hands down her waist up to her bum. I raised my eyebrow as she let out a squeak.

"Never said anything about making love to you all night long, baby. But if that's what you really want I can do just that. Only for you baby." She glared at me with her eyes narrowed and her cheeks blushing. The smirk was painted on my face as I ran my hands back to her waist. "All you have to do is ask me," I whispered.

"Screw you, Aneel."

"Screw me indeed baby." She huffed and put a hand on my chest.

"You're an ass, Aneel. I hope you know that."

"Baby, if it's anal you want-" She gasped out loud and pushed my arms off her. She had a look of disgust on her face and I bent over laughing. I clutched onto my stomach as she walked out the kitchen.

"Really are an ass Aneel. Just make your stupid pancakes and let me know when you're done." I straightened up and smiled. I saw her sitting on the sofa, fanning her face. Too cute.

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me! Babes is fine but when you say baby that's when you turn all perverted." I shook my head with a laugh and started to prepare the mix. She sat down for a minute before coming up behind me and putting her arms around my waist. I pulled her in front of me and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck. She giggled and squirmed in my arms.

"Stop it, Aneel. Your beard tickles!" I kissed down her neck to her shoulder with a smile on my face. She burst out laughing and gripped onto my hand around her stomach.

"Damn you're so beautiful," I mumbled. She sighed heavily and started to fan her face. She was still laughing softly to herself. "Aisha, do you think I'm too average for you?"

She tilt her head to face me and smiled. "I did at first. But good average. But now I can't see anyone else the way I see you. Except Justin."

"Fuck you, tell me who Justin is," I said with a frown. I leaned down further to peck her lips. She smirked and turned back around, not answering my question. "Aisha!"

"I'll leave you to wonder. Which ever Justin makes you feel better." She giggled to herself and I leaned over her to stir the mixture. "Aneel?"

"What?" I said.

"You're the best," she whispered. I looked at her to see her already staring at me. "Trust me, the best of the best."

"Still wanna know who Justin is," I murmured against her lips. I quickly kissed her before letting go of her to turn on the cooker. She kissed my cheek as she went by to the fridge.

"Do you want the butter?"

"Yes, please. And can you make me a cup of coffee please? I think I need that today," I said with a sigh. The thought of my mum went through my mind and I quickly shook it away. If I started thinking about her now, I'd chicken out by the time I had to leave.

"Here you go," Aisha said as she handed me the butter on a plate. I smiled at her, grateful she remembered that I liked having the butter separately whilst cooking. I hated taking it out the tub it just irritated me. She put a pan on at the back of the cooker. I pulled her back in front of me so I could wrap my arms back around her. She giggled and poured the milk into the pan. "I'm so glad you're the clingy one so that doesn't make me crazy wondering if I come across as the clingy one or not." I kissed the back of her neck and smiled.

"I'm glad I take a worry away for you. I will forever be the clingy one. Don't you dare take my title."

"Wasn't planning on it. What can I be then?" I laughed as I flipped the pancake. I kissed her cheek as I thought.

"Can't be the sexiest because I beat you-"

"Oi!"

"I don't know babe. How about the sane one?" She furrowed her eyebrows before she finally shrugged her shoulders.

"Better than nothing. But, Aneel, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

I walked away from her to get out a plate for the pancakes. She was busy stirring the milk. I stood beside her as I quickly put the pancake on the plate. Tearing it in half, I put one half into my mouth. Tasted like enough sugar. I secured my arms around Aisha again and she smiled at me. "What is it babes?"

"I wanna sit down and do the accounting for our household. Is that okay with you? Or is that an invasion of your privacy?" I rolled my eyes and poured the mixture into the pan.

"We're married, Aisha. There is no privacy. If that's what you want to do to make that brain of yours see that we are stable, then go ahead. Just don't have too much fun, I don't really do anything. My day is just work and gym. I don't have any time to go out shopping or waste any money."

"Then how will you have time for me?" I sighed and kissed her cheek.

"I cut down my hours for work. And I decided to get some stuff in the house so that I wouldn't have to go to the gym all the time. I got the treadmill. I have the weights now. I can take them to the store room that we have just in between the two doors."

"Wait, so that door between our house and Carly's is a store room?"

"Yeah. Me and Joshua decided to make it into a mini gym since we have busy schedules."

"Joshua?"

"Sorry, Carly's husband. Hmm, babes?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." She giggled and looked at me. "I promise you that I will do anything to spend as much as time as I can with you. Anything to see you smiling all day or to hold you like this." I kissed behind her ear and smiled when she giggled.

"Stop doing that, Aneel!" I flipped the pancake before tightening my arms around her.

"Hearing you laugh is the best gift you can give me."

"You're always so cheesy," she said with a laugh. "No wait, you're gonna tell me that I love cheese, right?"

"Maybe..." I laughed and poured another spoon of the mixture in the pan. Aisha just added the coffee into the bubbling milk. I liked how we worked together. She wasn't in my way and I wasn't in hers. The kitchen was a really small one and I really wish I had a bigger one that she could have because her mum had a huge kitchen. But I think after another year or so of saving up, we could start looking for a house.

"No, I wanna stay here more than a year," she said. I scratched the back of my neck as I thought about what she said until I realised that I had said that out loud. "I like it here. Kitchen maybe small but does that really matter?"

"I wanna give you the best there is-"

"And a bigger house is the answer? Sure everyone dreams of something big and all of that, but if they have the best husband then they wouldn't want anything else," she said with a giggle. She took the pancake out and turned off everything on the cooker. Her hands went to the back of my neck with a smile. "We don't need a house to be happy."

"And what if we have children?"

"Then we have the spare room which we can turn into their room or something. But listen, we don't need a house now."

"But-"

"Nah uh! No buts."

///

"Sure I can't make you come with me?" Aisha sighed against my neck. Her arms tightened around me. "I need you," I whispered.

"And I'm here for you, Aneel." I moved a bit closer to her but my seatbelt jerked back.

She said she had a friend she hasn't seen in a while that lived close by to my mum's house. We had another argument in the house when she told me she was going to go there because I needed with me and she wasn't coming with me. But then she explained that if anything happened, she would be able to reach me quicker. So right now, I was outside her friends house saying goodbye.

"I love you," she mumbled against my lips. "You can do this, Aneel." I felt the lump in my throat and my eyes start to burn. "I'm here. I'm right here, okay?"

"You should go. I'm already ten minutes late." I kissed her once again and then watched as she got out the car. "Hey, Aisha?" She turned around and looked at me. "I love you, too."

//

I parked opposite the house. It was a really big house so that meant she was doing well. I've just been sitting here for the last ten minutes just looking into the house. I could tell someone was pulling the curtain back, probably looking out for me.

I exhaled as I stepped out the car. Come on, Aneel, you can do this. I slowly walked across the road and stopped at the driveway. Still had time to walk away. I shook my head and slowly walked up the stairs. Couldn't lie, it was a beautiful house. Just as I reached the top stair, the door slowly opened.

My mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. The lump was back in my throat but I tried biting back my tears. There she was. My mother was standing right in front of me. She looked the exact same, despite the few wrinkles she had on her face. Her grey eyes sparkled as she lay her gaze on me. I stepped closer to her and she raised her shaky hands up to my cheeks.

"Amma..." I managed to get out before I broke down crying. My mum was here! She was actually here in front of me. "I missed you! I thought you were gone." I felt her arms wrap around me and I cried even harder. She was actually back.

"I'm so sorry, Aneel! I'm so sorry. I didn't meant to leave you. I forgot everything but I didn't mean to leave you." I slowly pulled back and bit back my cries. Come on, Aneel, you can control yourself. I slowly raised my hands to her cheeks and smiled when I wiped away her tears. "Look how big you've gotten," she whispered. "I missed you growing up into this big man. Forgive me, Aneel. Please, forgive me!"

"It's not your fault. I can't believe it's really you."

"You should come in. It's a bit cold out." She gently pulled me by my hand until I was in the sitting room. She sat me down on the sofa that was facing the door. "Do you want anything? Tea? Coffee?"

"Is there any orange juice?" She grinned and cupped my face again.

"Smooth? Because the bits taste like-"

"-little worms," we finished together. "You remembered?"

She eagerly nodded her head and knelt in front of me. "I promise I remember everything now. I really do." I brushed away my tears and quickly got out my wallet.

"I urm...I only had this picture; only one I was given. I kept it in my wallet. I have one of all of us at home but this is just you and me." I quickly opened it up and showed it to her. I then took out all the small photos inside and lay them on the coffee table. "This was the last picture me and Amina had taken. We went to the fair and I remember she kept on crying because it was too noisy." I sat down on the floor beside her and picked up the next one. I had to look at the one that went in order of my life.

"I had to go home with her because she was only a newborn. Your dad got a bit angry because we were meant to spend it as a family," she whispered. She was looking ahead, drifting into her own world. I watched her shake her head and she looked up at me with her smile that I missed so dearly.

"Yeah. But I got to buy cotton candy so I was happy."

"And hyper," Amma said with a laugh. She pointed to the photo. "Which one was this?"

"This was when I moved into Aunty's house. And this is my brother Hassan. Older than me by a couple months but we're on first name bases. We had this cricket team in school. It was a really rubbish one because we were only ten. Our team won and this was us with the trophy. And this!" I reached towards the next photo and put the other one in a line at the end. "These are my two sisters. Nadia and Sarah. They are twins and growing up with them was the worst."

"Did she look after you properly?"

"She did her best. I didn't make it easy but she did well; after all-"

"Jaan, I'm home!" A man called. I heard the front door slam shut and him groan. "I got the orange juice like you asked me. I don't know why your son doesn't like the bits in the juice. Shit, I keep dropping everything. So I'm gonna pick the kids up from Shima and take them to the cinema, okay? Jaan?" His head popped into the sitting room and his mouth slightly opened. I slowly stood up and Amma followed. "You said quarter two..."

"Yeah, quarter to one..."

"Kids? You have children?" I whispered. I quickly grabbed my wallet, stuffing all the pictures into my jacket pocket. "I have to go!" I rushed past the man and went to the front door. My vision was blurred by my tears so I had no idea what I was doing.

"Aneel! Wait! Come on, please! I just got you back."

"You have your own kids! You forgot about us. Fuck sake! Why the fuck isn't this fucking door opening?!" I slumped back onto the door and sighed. "You forgot about us and started your own family..." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to forget. I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head and pulled her into a hug. "No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Amma. I didn't meant to make you upset. I'm so sorry."

"Come, we'll sit and go through the photos, yeah. I made him get loads of orange juice so that you can stay and have plenty."

I leaned in closer so I was beside her ear. "Does he treat you well?"

"Of course," she said with a laugh. I smiled and she walked away. I didn't know what else to do but follow her. I smiled at the man and walked past. He was still standing in the same place that I saw him. "Jaan, move from there! Put the shopping away in the kitchen."

"Right." He turned to me and smiled. "You look a lot like your mother. But with facial hair, of course. Oi, if you ever wanna know how you'd look with a beard then just turn to your son," he laughed. She glared at him and he raised his hand in surrender. "Wife gave me the look so that means I have to stop talking. Has yours given you that look before?"

I chuckled as I thought of Aisha. That beautiful glare of hers. "She used to even before we got married. Women, ey?"

"Women ey indeed." He laughed to himself before walking down further into the corridor. I sat down where I was before and took out all the photos from my pocket. Placing the ones we already looked at at the end in a line, I then organised them in order.

"This one was me in hospital. I was thirteen and I just had a bottle of hand gel. I was a really stupid child and believed everything anyone told me. Hassan told me that I didn't have to brush my teeth for a month if I drank the hand gel completely."

"Sounds like you to eat anything and everything," she laughed. "You were the one child I had to keep my eyes on. I could look after everyone but you were the one that would always pick something up and put it in your mouth."

"Not always..."

"Always, Aneel! Always!" I picked up the next photo and she slowly took it off my hand. "Your brother? And his wife, I'm guessing."

"That's them. They got married young. Like, twenty-three young because they were so in love. But they were both career people and started to actually settle down a year ago. As far as I know, they are trying for a baby."

"Isn't that a bit too personal in your brothers life?"

"What can I do? The idiot comes and tells me everything. Always moaning about his life."

"That's what my sister-in-law does to me all the time."

"Hey, my sister isn't that bad," her husband said as he entered the room, a tray full of snacks. "Actually, maybe she is but still hey."

"Jaan, I think you should leave-"

"No, no! He's good. I like him, he's funny."

"You sure? I don't mind leaving."

"No, you stay." I smiled at him again and he took a seat beside me. I picked up the next photo and sighed. "These are my closest friends. Annoying but the best you could get. That's Rashid, Chris and Nazrul."

"Rashid?" I nodded my head and looked at my mum who was scratching the back of her neck. "Okay."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nope. Carry on." I picked up the last one and smiled.

"This is my wife, Aisha." I handed the photo over to her and she laughed softly.

"You did well. She's beautiful."

"And the best. She's the reason why I came here today. I was close to not coming but she pushed me and...well I'm here now." Amma held my hand and smiled.

"I'm glad you came. And I know this may seem mean but I'm glad you came alone because otherwise I would have felt as though there was a stranger in the room. I hope you understand." I put a hand over hers, raising it to my lips.

"She said the same thing. Amma, honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. I've been waiting to marry her for the last two, three years and it was worth everything."

"That's a very long time."

"But she's worth everything. She's so beautiful inside and out and I love her. She makes me smile whenever I see her." I sighed and smiled. Amma cupped my face again.

"I'm sorry I missed your wedding. I should have been there with you and I wasn't. Your uncle told me to wait till after so you were stable and had everything off your plate. But I made him bring a photo." She quickly stood up before reaching for the shelf. I couldn't really see what she was taking down because it was behind me. Her husband rolled his eyes and took the objects down for her. She was a little short and her reaching over a sofa didn't help. "I have a picture of you on your wedding day. It's just of you, though. And I have your sisters picture that-"

"You have Amina's photo? I haven't seen her since she was a little baby." I leaned over and picked up the photo frame. My eyes scanned over the photo and I slowly laughed. Her hair was out and was straight. My mum always had naturally straight hair so she must have gotten it from her. Her eyes were exactly like hers too. She was basically the exact image of my mother. "She looks just like you," I whispered. "How could someone do something so cruel to such a beautiful woman?"

"I don't know. I should have been there to take care of her. If only I-"

"No, don't say that. It's not your fault, Amma."

"It is. What mother forgets her children? You guys went through so much because of me."

"Jaan." She looked up at her husband and nodded her head. "I told you. It's not your fault."

"Smart man, you should listen to him." She laughed and wiped away the tears. She looked up at the both of us and smiled.

"You hear that? I'm smart."

"I could see that head of yours growing bigger and bigger." Amma the patted my knee and I looked at her. "Tell me how you met your wife. Arranged or love?"

"It was one sided love. Actually, no. It was sort of both." I leaned back on the sofa and. "I started UNI late so I was in one class with her sister. I was in my third year and one of the module was to teach other people. So her sister, Nafeesa was in my group. And her husband, Saif. At that time they were friends anyways. So we held these campaigns and charity events with our college. This wasn't part of our classes but was voluntary. So then we just helped and stuff. And Aisha came along a couple of times and I would see her. Kept my distance and everything. Then we had several small conversations which she doesn't even remember but I knew she was the one. It was her eyes, Amma. She has the most beautiful eyes." I sighed again. The thought of her just made me smile. "I went with a proposal and Aunty thought I was talking about Nafeesa and I couldn't correct her because I didn't go with her. Then I waited for a year and went back to her with the correct proposal. I waited six months! Six months till she started speaking to me and four or five months later she finally said yes. Then six months later...we're here."

"That's so cute! My little boy had his love at first sight." I rolled my eyes but then soon felt a smack on my arm. "No rolling your eyes. Remember." I sadly smiled and then pulled her into a tight hug.

"I really did miss you, Amma. I did some things you're not proud of. I disappointed you. I'm so sorry." Her hands rubbed my back.

"It's okay. Your uncle told me everything that happened. You don't have to say it again."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No! No, I'm not. I have you now and that's what matters. Look at you now! You're married and everything." I slowly leaned back. Taking a glass of orange juice off the tray, I put it in her hands. "What you doing?"

"I want to make a toast." I handed a glass over to her husband and her took it with a smile. "This is us starting new but carrying off where we left off. I hope we stay together as long as we can."

"And me?" I turned to her husband and shrugged my shoulders.

"You're her husband. That makes you my dad now so that makes you family."

He put the glass down on the counter. Once he stood up, I frowned. Was I moving too fast? I had the tendency to do that. But once I was okay with something I went ahead and pursued it. He knelt down beside me and sighed. He was a much bigger guy than me. Much, much bigger. Way taller than me so when he knelt down I had to look up at him.

"I promise you that I will treat you and your sister as my own children. I promise that to you, you understand? You're my family now and anything you need, come and ask me."

"All I'm asking for you is you to make my mum happy. I haven't been here for her to look after her but you can do that for me."

"I can do that for you." He kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes.

"My dad never did that..." I mumbled.

"Well you can come here whenever you want and I'll kiss the top of your head like that all the time," he said with a laugh. I opened my eyes with a smile. "I mean it, I'll look after you and your sister as though you're mine."

I nodded my head and blinked away my tears. "Tell me how you guys met."

"This man right here was my doctor. He was going through a divorce at the time though. Helped me for two years before coming with a proposal." I looked at him and frowned.

"You knew everything then? About us and my dad?"

"I know you're gonna be angry, but yes, I did. I never actually knew about you two until a few years back and that was already when your sister was admitted into the hospital. I wish I knew before and then I would have made sure she was doing okay. But I wasn't the main doctor on her case so I wasn't told everything and back then, they only cared about the treatment not the story. I checked up on you and saw you were working and going to UNI so I left it as that. Congrats on the first though!" He stuck his hand up and I gave him a high five. "Seriously, well done. But going back to the story, I did know about your dad. And I knew she had kids but I had no idea what happened to you guys so, like I said, couldn't do much about it. Of course I couldn't keep reminding her of her past when we got married so I had to pretend like nothing really happened. She slowly got her memory back but the last three years were the worst. She used to have nightmares and-"

"Jaan, no. Please?"

He patted my shoulder and sadly smiled. "Another time. But I already had two kids, one is older than you and one is the same. Then we both had four children." Suddenly he grinned like crazy. He laughed before speaking again. "Your mum named one of our kids Aneel and one of them Amina. Well between us we only had one daughter but my oldest is a girl. And the first son we had was named Aneel. I had no idea about that at first but now you both have siblings with the first name."

"Serious, Amma?"

"I always wanted to name my children them both so I guess it was always there."

"That's sweet. Did any of you meet Amina?" Amma nodded her head with a smile.

"We did. Just two weeks ago. But him-" she said pointing to her husband, "he met her when he found out about you two. He befriended her and everything. Became her doctor."

"Didn't you get mad? Knowing that your husband knew everything? About your kids?"

"Mad is an understatement!" he groaned. "She kicked me out the house for five months! Five months and she didn't utter a single word to me."

"That's cruel." He high fived me again and I watched as she rolled her eyes. "But I don't blame you. You must have been angry. I was angry and took it out on my wife. Then I broke down crying and then got angry again."

"I really want to meet your wife. Are you going to have lunch?"

"I just want it to be us for today." I knew it was a bit harsh but now that I think about it, I do think that if she was here, there would have been barriers. Not only from my mum, but for me too. If she was here, I would have held back, afraid to breakdown since I didn't want her to think I was a chicken. I love her and everything, but I needed my own space and I think I realise that now.