In Los Angeles, Bobby wrestles with the idea of returning to New York. Meanwhile in Chicago, the Casey-Brett-Severide household gets a visitor. Heads up, it gets very wordy when we reach Matt's POV. There was lots of background to explain. Suffice to say, lots of changes to canon.

Enjoy!

***

The e-mail headline blinked on Bobby's computer, seemingly to taunt the man. Bobby sighed and ran a hand over his face, knowing he would have to send a reply. He had been cleared for duty months ago, following the sniper attacking firefighters, but there was some part of him that selfishly wished he was still incapacitated and unable to fly.

He was not looking forward to returning to New York.

"OK!" Buck's voice announced loudly, and Bobby couldn't help but smile as the young firefighter bounded into view, hyped on whatever caffeine Eddie had made for him that morning. "Inventory's complete, and we even managed to polish the rig. We should be L.A.'s best-looking firehouse."

"Thanks, Buck," Bobby gave a smile.

Buck frowned. "You good, Cap?"

Bobby sighed, rubbing his temples. "As good as I can be, given what's coming up."

"What's coming up?" Buck balked. "A doctor's appointment? I thought you were all clear!"

"I'm clear, Buck," Bobby hastened to assure him. "There's nothing wrong with me. It's just . . . " He wrestled with what to say, then sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Did I ever tell you I saw Ground Zero?" he asked.

"Ground Zero?" Buck repeated, then sat down, eyes wide. "You mean 9/11?"

"Yeah," Bobby nodded. "It was while I was still in Minnesota. I was a lieutenant at my house, and my captain took a team to New York that included me. It was . . . " His voice trailed off.

"I didn't know, Cap," Buck swallowed. "I'm sorry you went through that. I can't imagine what it was like."

"Terrifying," Bobby admitted. "Suffocating . . . and I mean that literally. I've been on so many scenes in my time as a firefighter, and going through the rubble . . . I've never been so out of breath."

Buck looked close to tears. "I'm sorry, Bobby."

"There's nothing you could have done, Buck," Bobby shook his head. "But thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate it."

"Of course, Bobby," Buck smiled. "I always am." He shifted in his seat. "Is there anything about 9/11 coming up that I can do to make it a little easier for you?"

This kid, Bobby thought fondly. "Not much, really," he shook his head, gesturing to his computer monitor. "I'm not even going to be in the city for the day."

"Really?" Buck blinked in surprise, then it cleared. "You're going back to New York?"

"It's the 20th anniversary," Bobby nodded miserably. "The last time I went to New York, it was awful. But it feels wrong not going back this time."

Buck shifted in his seat, then cleared his throat. "Uh . . . I'd be happy to go with you, Cap."

Bobby looked up in shock. "Buck, I can't ask you to – "

"I'm not asking, Cap," Buck shook his head. "I'm volunteering. I don't know everything you went through on 9/11, but . . . but I don't want you to go alone. I mean, Athena would stow away in your bags if you tried to convince her otherwise, but . . . I went a lot of places when I traveled. I know the significance 9/11 has in so many places. I'm . . . kind of interested in being there myself. And if being there means I can also support you . . . well, that's just a bonus . . . and you're staring at me. Cap?"

"What did I ever do to deserve someone like you on my crew?" Bobby shook his head, standing from his desk and hauling Buck into a tight hug. "If you're sure, Buck – "

"I'm positive, Bobby," Buck hugged him back. "I'm coming, too . . . though Eddie might want to come, too, when he learns where I'm going."

"He can come," Bobby nodded. "We'll just have to trust Chimney with the house."

Buck blanched. "Oh, God."

Bobby's laughter rang through the house for the first time in days.

***

When the door to the house opened after shift, the surfaces in the kitchen were piled with various desserts. "Oh, boy," Athena remarked, removing her sidearm and shield from her belt as she surveyed the kitchen. "Stress baking?"

"What gave it away?" Bobby asked dryly, taking another pan of muffins out of the oven.

"Something smells good!" May chirped as she skipped up behind Athena, and she stopped in her tracks, balking at the sight of so many baked goods. "Oh . . . a lot smells good."

"I hope so," Bobby took the oven mitts off. "A lot of these are new recipes."

"So you're stress baking and looking up new recipes?" Athena raised an eyebrow. "Now I know why Buck texted and said you might be a little off."

Bobby winced. "A little might be an understatement."

Athena hummed in agreement, taking a cookie from a cooling rack. "Take a break, Bobby. What's going on?"

Bobby sighed, palming his face and taking a glass of water. "I really wish I wasn't an alcoholic so I could have a drink right now."

"Is there anything I can get?" May asked worriedly, placing her bag on the ground.

"No, May," Bobby shook his head, walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. "There's only one thing that's going to help me, and unfortunately, it's gonna be another week or so before it'll happen."

"A week?" May parroted.

Realization dawned on Athena's face. "Oh, Bobby," she swallowed, sitting next to him. "You worked 9/11?"

May gasped as Bobby nodded somberly. "I did," he confirmed, taking a sip of water. "I was a lieutenant at the time, and the captain of the house pulled together the best team he could create on short notice. I don't know how long I was on my feet, working to rescue victims only to realize we were going to execute more recoveries instead. I couldn't breathe correctly for days, even back in Minnesota." He looked down at his glass. "I've only been to New York once since then, and I felt everything again: the heat, the pressure on my lungs, the weight of the devastation on my back." He sighed. "It's almost been twenty years, but it feels like yesterday."

"I'm so sorry, Bobby," Athena squeezed his hand and laid her head on his shoulder.

Bobby squeezed her hand back, and May gingerly sat next to him. "I didn't realize you were there that day."

"Not many people like talking about it," Bobby shrugged. "And it's never really come up. But like I said, twenty years is coming up . . . and I need to be there. I feel like I should go."

"You're certain?" Athena asked.

"I am," Bobby nodded firmly, taking a deep breath. "I'm far from excited. Terrified . . . but I need to be there."

Athena nodded. "Then we'll go."

Bobby blinked, looking at his wife. "We?"

"We," Athena nodded, smiling. "If you would like to go alone, I understand . . . but I will always have your back, Bobby. I will be right there with you if you want me to be."

"Yes," Bobby hastened to say, nodding jerkily. "Please, yes."

"OK," Athena kissed his cheek. "Then I'm going with you."

May fidgeted, then took a deep breath. "Could I come, too?"

Both swiveled to look at their daughter. "Are you sure?" Athena asked in concern.

"Yeah," May nodded, straightening and looking slightly more confident. "I want to go."

Bobby swallowed. "May, I don't . . . I know I'm not going to be great company while I'm there."

"And that's OK," May nodded. "That's absolutely OK. All I know about 9/11 are stories and documentaries. The attacks were before I was born, but I know several people who say they've never forgotten what happened that day." Me included, Bobby thought with a shudder, and May leaned forward. "I want to see where my stepdad went above and beyond the call of duty that day. Please . . . I want to go."

Bobby blinked back tears in his eyes, and he wrapped an arm around May and hugged her tightly. "What did I do to deserve girls like you two in my life?" he asked thickly.

"You existed, Bobby," Athena chuckled, curling into his side like a panther. "That's enough."

***

Once upon a time, Matt would come home to a silent loft, due to his roommate either sleeping or out working with OFI.

Now, as he closed the door to the two-story house behind him, he heard two boys call greetings and a girl's excited squeal. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor and crouched on the ground, still slightly unprepared for the blonde blur that stumbled into his arms, almost knocking him onto his back. He burst out laughing, picking Amelia up and kissing the top of her head. "I'm never gonna get tired of that," he said fondly, standing up and setting Amelia on his hip.

"Me, neither," Kelly grinned, standing from where he had sprawled out on the couch, snapping a file shut. "How'd the construction go?"

"Almost finished," Matt answered. "Just have the paint left."

"Can we help with that, Matt?" Ben asked, twisting from where he sat at the coffee table, his math homework and notes spread out around him.

Matt considered. "Everything needs to be done by the end of the weekend," he said, adjusting his hold on Amelia so Kelly could help him remove his jacket. "Get the majority of your homework completed, and we can spend Saturday taking care of the paint."

"You got it!" Ben beamed, turning back to his homework.

"You're good with him," Kelly murmured, smiling fondly.

"We're good with him," Matt corrected.

"Yeah, we are," Kelly smiled, kissing him. "Glad you're back."

"Yeah, me, too," Matt kissed him back, stepping into the living area. "How're you doing, Griffin?"

"I hate essays," the older Darden boy sighed.

Kelly burst out laughing. "Everyone does, Griffin."

"Especially AP essays," Matt agreed, looking around. "Where's Sylvie?"

"She got back from the paramedicine run about . . . " Griffin checked the time on his computer. "An hour and a half ago. She said she was gonna take a shower and take a nap."

Matt frowned, looking at Kelly. "I thought she would've been back sooner."

"Mouch said it was a longer, tougher run than usual," Kelly shrugged. "I figured she would share when she was done."

Matt nodded in agreement. "Well, the shower sounds like a wonderful idea," he said. "Any set dinner plans yet?"

"The boys and I can handle it," Kelly waved his concern off, reaching out and playfully poking Amelia in the nose, making her adorably scrunch her face. "Take care of yourself and our girl."

"Thanks," Matt sighed in relief. "I swear, every time I take a job like this, I forget some muscles exist."

Ben snickered. "You'd think being a firefighter would remind you of every muscle."

Griffin tried to hide his laughter by coughing, and Matt rolled his eyes. "You boys are just like your father," he grumbled, moving to set Amelia on the ground. The little blonde squirmed, however, and Matt frowned. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"See Mama," she insisted.

Matt exchanged looks with Kelly, and the squad lieutenant checked his watch. "You can always put her down with Sylvie," he suggested. "At least while you're cleaning up."

Matt nodded. "Good idea."

Kelly squeezed his shoulder. "Take care of our girls."

"Always," Matt promised, picking Amelia up again and heading up the stairs.

The top level was far quieter than the main floor, and Matt slipped into the master bedroom. The lights were off, but the window shades were slightly open, allowing a sliver of light into the dark room. It illuminated the lone occupant of the California king-sized bed, who was practically buried under the sheets. Matt smiled softly, walking over and carefully peeling back the covers to see Sylvie had only thrown on one of Kelly's old Squad shirts to sleep, and she was out cold. "Mama," Amelia made a grabby motion, fidgeting in Matt's grip.

"OK, sweetie," Matt carefully placed her on the bed. "There you go."

Amelia crawled across the mattress, curling into Sylvie's side. Matt watched carefully as Amelia settled, then couldn't stop a wide smile from forming as Sylvie shifted to sleep on her side, automatically throwing one arm over the girl protectively. Amelia appeared content to snuggle against her much older half-sister, and Matt left them as he snatched a spare set of clothes before disappearing into the master bathroom.

The benefit of having three salaries going into a house, along with one of those salaries belonging to a man in the construction business and another going to a woman who might as well be an undercover HGTV star, was getting a residence where anything they wanted could be possible. Matt appreciated the spacious master bathroom more than words could describe, especially in morning chaos. He checked the temperature of the water running in the shower, then after getting out of his work clothes, he stepped inside, letting himself soak.

The warmth sank into him, and he sighed in relief, tilting his head back and letting the water rush over him. It was still hard to believe the life he was living now was the life he was able to have. If someone had asked him four years ago if he would be in a relationship with Kelly and Sylvie, be the foster parents of his deceased best friend's sons, and the adoptive parent in all but name of Sylvie's half-sister, he would have recommended the person go to Dr. Charles at Chicago Med for a consult. But here they were, one divorce, one broken engagement, and a broken relationship later. That had been all it took for Matt, Kelly, and Sylvie to band together and find common ground. A few insane arsonists had been all it took for Matt to look into the unrestrained glee in Kelly's eyes and feel a restrained crush from the fire academy boil back to life. Coupled with the light that was Sylvie has she poured her heart and soul into every effort she made, Matt tumbled head over heels in love with the two people who meant the world to him. In no universe had he thought those feelings were reciprocated.

Suddenly Julie, Sylvie's mother, burst into her life and died during childbirth, leaving a beautiful little girl with a distraught father who would not take her. Sylvie had adopted her baby half-sister without hesitation, and Matt bent over backwards to help the paramedic with anything she needed. Kelly had been right behind him, conferring with Matt before offering to take the room Joe was giving up in his marriage to Chloe. When Emily moved out to attend medical school again, Matt took the last room, so the three of them had the entire apartment to themselves to help raise Amelia. Everyone at 51 had been smitten with Amelia upon meeting her and promised Sylvie their help in every shape and form, but no one had championed her like Matt and Kelly. The little girl had both of them wrapped around her finger by the end of her first day home. If the three officers at 51 hadn't been close before, they were all attached at the hip following Amelia. Attached at the hip . . . and somehow, something had still felt fragile. Matt had no clue what it was, it seemed he was too busy coparenting one of his soulmate's adopted daughter with the other soulmate as well.

Until Joe Halleck drove into Ambulance 61 and sent it off a bridge and into a ditch, and Matt swore he stopped breathing until he saw Sylvie drop out of the ambulance onto her knees. He knew the moment Kelly started breathing again: the moment Sylvie swung open the door to Truck 81 and all but fell into the protective circle of the squad lieutenant's embrace.

Pieces slowly started fitting into place following that shift. All it had taken was a little alcohol in their systems for romantic feelings to bubble into confessions that ended in heated makeouts and an impromptu sleepover on the living room floor. None of them had been in a poly relationship before, and they knew individual relationships were just as important as the three of them together. They kept Boden in the loop, hoping desperately their attempts to forge their relationships didn't impact their work at the firehouse. To everyone's relief, Boden assured them of his support; he even offered to watch Amelia if they ever wanted the apartment to themselves for a night.

They took him up on the offer many times, as they not only worked on being Matt and Kelly and Sylvie, but also Matt and Sylvie, Sylvie and Kelly, and Kelly and Matt. Kelly and Sylvie worried Matt's head injury gave away what they had spent precious time working for, but to their immense relief, it was only the boys on Squad 3 who noticed their concern was for more than a best friend and a coparent. The most surprising part was when Herrmann's relief lieutenant, Greg Grainger, nailed the three of them after a few weeks and promised his mouth was shut until they were ready.

By the time Squad 3 had dove into the pier, the three had forged their web of relationships so tightly, they were ready to come out to the entire house. Matt and Sylvie's frenzy to get out on the water and help however they could made everyone realize there was more, far more, to their officers than they had previously let on. Of course, the desperate kisses Sylvie and Matt gave their boyfriend when he emerged from the water relatively unscathed absolutely gave them away. Capp complained for days he hadn't gotten the pictures of everyone's shell-shocked faces; he only stopped when Adam Ruzek, of all the Intelligence cops, admitted there was a chance he could get surveillance photos of reactions.

The one bomb that threatened to dismantle everything was the question of guardianship for Griffin and Ben Darden. Griffin had shown up at 51 one day and admitted their family was falling apart, with his mother in prison and his brother having difficulties both in school and in his personal life. Several discussions and one trip to Oregon from Matt had all three in agreement: the Dardens would be welcome in their family. The boys' social worker had argued furiously that the boys needed to stay in Oregon, but with Kelly and Sylvie's backing, Matt argued right back that the city where the boys were born and grew up in, with the family their father had, was where they needed to be. The social worker had agreed to give Matt custody if they could find a larger place to live, as there was no way a family of six could fit in their current apartment. Sylvie had found the perfect place within a few hours and, after a tour of the house and a dip into Kelly's savings, the place was theirs by the end of the week. The social worker conceded, and Griffin and Ben moved once more, this time back to the Windy City where they belonged.

Matt shut the shower off, unable to keep from smiling. Three months later, and the boys had settled as if they had never been gone. Griffin had adapted like a switch was flipped, and he flourished in the city. Ben had almost been overwhelmed by the show of support from 51, as he had barely remembered the firehouse before he moved. It had been Amelia, of all the possible people, who helped him settle. Ben doted on the little girl, focusing more on her than any activities that could get him in trouble. That meant Sylvie was his next favorite person. Griffin was usually seen in Kelly's company if he wasn't with Matt; the captain knew that alone meant the world to his partner, as Kelly had never forgotten the sting of Heather blaming him for Andy's death.

In three years, everything had gone from best friends to a ready-made family. Matt honestly couldn't think of a better life for him to have.

When he left the bathroom, he looked at his girls and smiled softly, setting an alarm on his phone to wake them up in half an hour. He could smell alfredo and tomato sauce heating as he jogged down the stairs, pulling a sweater over his shirt. "Is Sylvie still out?" Kelly asked, checking the pasta cooking on the stove before turning the sauces over to Griffin and Ben.

"Like a light," Matt nodded. "So's Amelia. Figure I'd let them keep sleeping."

"I can wake them up when dinner's ready," Ben offered.

"We'll see," Matt smiled. "Thanks for offering, though."

Ben grinned, which abruptly vanished when the doorbell rang. "Was someone supposed to come over?" Griffin looked up from stirring one of the sauces.

"Not that I was aware of," Kelly frowned, checking his phone. "And neither of you had plans . . . "

"Not until Friday night," Ben shook his head.

Matt left the kitchen and headed to the entryway, checking out the window to see who arrived. He blinked in surprise, then swung the door open. "Chief," he greeted.

"Hey, Matt," Boden smiled, but there was a tightness to it that Matt didn't like. "I apologize if I'm interrupting something."

"In the middle of getting ready for dinner, but it's no trouble," Matt shook his head. "You're more than welcome to stay, if you would like."

"I might take you up on that," Boden sighed.

"Come on in," Matt stepped back, letting the man inside. "Set another place!" he called.

"Got it!" Ben confirmed.

"Hey, Chief," Kelly blinked as Matt led Boden into the house. "Good to see you."

"You, too, Kelly," Boden smiled wearily. "Good to see you, boys."

"Hello!" Griffin waved one of the spoons.

"I didn't mean to come without warning," Boden began.

"Hey, considering the amount of times we've called you last minute, don't worry about it," Matt waved the apology off. "What can we do for you?"

Boden opened his mouth to answer, then footsteps on the stairs made him turn. "Ah," he smiled. "Sylvie."

"Hey there," Sylvie smiled tiredly as she rounded the corner, her hair thrown up in a hasty ponytail. Amelia was on her hip, the girl brightening when she saw Boden. "I didn't realize I was sleeping for so long."

"Figured you needed it," Matt smiled, giving her a careful hug and kissing the top of her head. "You good?"

"Better," she nodded.

Boden sighed. "I really should have checked the time before I came over. We can talk next shift – "

"We made more than enough," Kelly assured him. "Please, stay."

Sylvie tilted her head. "You look like you need the company, anyway."

Boden scratched his head. "Not sure how great company I am right now, but thank you."

The three officers exchanged concerned looks, then Sylvie cleared her throat. "Ben, do you mind taking Amelia while we talk to the chief?"

"Sure," Ben abandoned his task of setting the table and hurrying over.

"You boys good?" Matt asked.

"We got it!" Griffin gave a thumbs up. "It's hard to mess up pasta."

Ben scowled. "And now you jinxed us."

Kelly shook his head fondly, laughing as he took his water glass and gestured to the table. "Those boys."

"You're good with them," Boden smiled. "All of you. It's amazing."

"We're lucky," Sylvie smiled back.

"On so many levels," Kelly kissed her cheek.

"So," Matt sat down, watching as Boden did the same across from him. "How can we help you, Chief?"

He sighed. "I am taking some time off in the upcoming weeks. There's . . . something I have to do. The house will be in your hands."

Matt blinked. "Yeah, of course. Everything alright?"

Kelly closed his eyes. "9/11."

"Yes," Boden confirmed, and Sylvie covered her mouth, eyes wide. "Twenty years since that day. I've been invited back to New York for the anniversary. I intend to go."

"Of course," Matt nodded instantly. "Go as long as you need to, Chief."

"Thank you," Boden sighed. "I just . . . I've never done well when the time rolls around. Too many memories I would rather forget. But it's twenty years . . . there's a feeling in my gut, you know? I need to be there."

"We understand, Chief," Kelly nodded. "For sure. We'll handle everything here."

"You just do whatever you need to do," Sylvie added.

Boden smiled softly. "I got lucky, having you three at my house."

Matt chuckled. "We're lucky we have you back."

"Seriously," Kelly snorted. "Where else were they gonna land you, at 20?"

"Hey, Delaney isn't that bad," Matt narrowed his eyes.

Sylvie hummed. "Leone."

Kelly pointed at Sylvie triumphantly. "See?"

Boden chuckled. "They actually considered 40."

"Oh, God," Matt rolled his eyes. "Going right from a lieutenant's command to a deputy district chief's?"

"That would blow up Grainger's ego," Kelly snickered.

"Like you two help whenever your three rigs are at a call," Sylvie snorted. "I swear, it's like the Three Musketeers whenever you're at the same one."

"He has good taste in his friends," Kelly smirked.

Matt smiled, watching the loves of his life bicker, broken only by Griffin's announcement that everything was ready. "I'm glad you stayed here in Chicago," Boden murmured as they stood to get their food. "Those boys would have needed you in Oregon, but they belong here."

"Yeah," Matt nodded, watching his family in the kitchen. "So do I."

***

God, I miss Matt so much. I completely admire what he did for the Dardens, I just . . . miss him. At least they gave us arsonist chaser Kelly to kind of distract us. It's worked so far. And I love Casey's departure has had such an effect that's still felt at the house. Well done, Chicago Fire.

Next time, more decisions about trips to New York are made.

graphic by marvelity