HAPPY BIRTHDAY BrightnessWings19!!! You're so awesome that this year your present from me is a Emperor's New Groove/Gravity Rises crossover one-shot that I've low-key been working on for a year whuff

I know it was supposed to be just a crossover of these two things but I somehow turned it into an AU where Gideon is such a rich kid that no one likes him, all that climax-y stuff in "The Dip that Rocks the Boat" didn't happen (so Dipper just hangs out with Pacifica all the time to keep her sane), oh and both Paz and Mabel really, really, really don't like Gideon.

Also I think Pacifica has more magic than in canon.

Anyway I hope you enjoy :D 

Today had been supposed to be perfect.

But there was one flaw in today's schedule, and Pacifica Pleasure could easily spot it.

She sat on the stage of the Tent of Telepathy - which was supposed to be closed, and it was, but Pacifica rather enjoyed sitting at the table with her crystal ball, the house lights off and the spotlights on and blaring at her. It made her feel like she was the center of attention.

And she wasn't sitting alone, of course.

Who would sit alone?

No no no. Just like he did almost every other day, Dipper Pines was sitting right next to her, patiently staring at the crystal ball.

Then his gaze flickered to meet hers. "So," Dipper began, "what are we doing?"

Pacifica did not sigh, like she might've with anyone else - charming Dipper just wasn't always caught up with the schedule, and she never minded that. So she gave him a dazzling smile and said, "We're taking care of a few flaws, Dipper dear."

"Oh." Dipper looked like he wanted to get out. Ridiculous, Pacifica thought. He must be impatient for me to take care of our flaw for today.

Pacifica lay a gloved hand on her crystal ball, breathing deeply. To focus on the flaw in her schedule, she had to think long and hard about it.

Oh, how that was unpleasant.

And then the flaw - the flaw that had made today impossibly not perfect at all - appeared in her crystal ball, and her mouth twisted into a scornful scowl.

"There we go," she said, trying to make her voice steady and not shake from irritation. "Come look, Dipper dear. Here's our flaw."

Dipper leaned closer, just mere inches away from Pacifica. The thought of being so close brought a flush to her cheeks.

Back to the flaw, she reminded herself.

Yes, of course. The flaw.

"That's the . . . flaw?" Dipper said. He looked almost unimpressed - no, was he disgusted? No, that wasn't right either - he seemed hesitant. Maybe even a tad skeptical. Yes, that was it.

Pacifica nodded. "Of course it is. He's what made today not as perfect as it should've been, always picking on my choice of clothing and my amulet and how I present my shows." She clenched her fists in anger. "He's the flaw, Dipper dear. He's making today miserable."

Calm down, Pacifica.

She took a deep breath and unclenched her fists.

"The point is, Dipper -" She flashed him another smile, this one not as welcome as the other had been. (But the unwelcome smile hadn't been directed at Dipper, oh goodness no.) "He needs to be taught a lesson."

"Isn't this dramati -" Dipper began, but Pacifica quickly put a finger on his lips, shushing him.

"No, Dipper," Pacifica said softly. "He needs to be taught a lesson."

Oh, he did.

He was simply unbearable, that Gideon Northwest.

~

Mabel Pines didn't usually agree with Pacifica Pleasure. Ever. But her twin brother Dipper had started hanging out with Pacifica a lot more often, and he always came back with tales of what had happened.

Lately he had come home with nothing to talk about except Pacifica's loathing for Gideon Northwest.

For once - really the only time, mind you - Mabel thought Pacifica was being reasonable.

And oh, how Mabel wished she didn't agree with Pacifica, but it was true; Gideon Northwest was a self-centered jerk who Did Not care about anyone else. She usually didn't talk about how annoying Gideon was, but now she could.

And she would.

For she had just bumped into Gideon on her way to the library.

Gideon glared at her, straightening so that he was indefinitely several inches taller than her.

"Watch where you're going," he snapped.

Mabel stood up on her tip-toes in turn, becoming just a couple inches - rather than several inches - shorter than him.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going!" Mabel snapped back.

That wasn't the best comeback she could've come up with. Why had Pacifica wanted Dipper to hang out with her today? Dipper would've had a clever and witty comeback ready to spit out in seconds and then saunter off with his hands behind his back before Gideon realized what he'd even said.

Gideon seemed to agree with what Mabel thought. "Is that all you got?"

"It's - all you've -" Mabel raised her book (perhaps to smack Gideon in the face, she'd never remember) and then shut her mouth. She was just going to embarrass herself if she continued trying to come up with something.

Gideon noticed the book she had been about to smack him with and raised his eyebrow. "The Grimm Sisters? Is that some cruel knock-off of the Grimm brothers and their childish fairytales?"

Oh, how dare he mock her favorite book series.

"No," Mabel said smoothly, still on her tip-toes and sticking her nose in Gideon's face. "It's a fantastic book series that has an eleven-year-old who can solve mysteries faster than you. You should read it, you know, to help with your ego."

Gideon's normally-pale face turned red.

Mabel stood on her heels now, clutching her book tightly. She took a few steps before pausing, turning around, and adding, "But I don't know if you can read, because the Northwests are so rich they don't even need to."

Gideon's face had burned to a brilliant shade of red that closely resembled a poppy flower.

"I can - I can read -" he spluttered, trying to compose himself and failing. "Stupid little -" He swallowed.

Mabel gave him a smirk and turned away from Gideon, but she was yanked back.

And suddenly Gideon looked a lot more terrifying than he had moments before.

"I. Can. Read," he hissed, leaning closer to her. "And if you don't want to meet my friends and get creamed by them, then I suggest you apologize and get away."

Mabel shoved Gideon out of her face. She had better things to do then to start fights with Gideon Northwest.

"I'm not sorry," she said plainly, and she turned sharply on the heel of her foot and walked away at a brisk pace.

Gideon dusted himself off, watching Mabel hurry away.

He turned away, not sorry for threatening her as well.

Besides, he thought.

She had ruined his edgy flow.

~

Unfortunately, Dipper couldn't go home just yet; Pacifica was very intent on teaching Gideon Northwest a lesson. She had wanted to brainstorm ideas while sitting in the darkened theater, with light coming from only the crystal ball on the table. So Dipper, being the good friend that he was, listened to her . . . slightly crazy ideas.

At first, the ideas had started out as normal ideas; "ruin Gideon's cape" and "make him wear normal clothes" were ones that sounded amusing to Dipper. But then Pacifica brought up the idea of poison - even though Gideon wasn't the nicest person in the world, he didn't deserve to die.

That's what ran through Dipper's head when Pacifica suddenly cried, "I've got it - we could poison him!"

Dipper stared at Pacifica before immediately telling her no, Pacifica, maybe we could try a more . . . sane idea?

Pacifica mumbled to herself, probably something along the lines of "But he's evil, Dipper dear" before sitting in silence again.

"I've got it," she said again just moments later, slamming her fist on her table. "We could - we could transform him into a flea!"

"A flea?" Dipper wrinkled his nose in disgust. Could she even do that?

"Yes, a flea - and then I could trap him in a jar, and then mail it to myself, and then I could smash him with a -"

"SANE, Pacifica," Dipper said loudly.

"That was sane!" Pacifica argued.

"That monologue was - something - far from sane. What about turning him into something? For a day? See how he likes that and then it teaches him a lesson and bam we're done?"

Pacifica brightened. "That's perfect, Dipper dear!" She clapped her hands in happiness and leaned forward, just mere inches away from Dipper. "How do you come up with that?"

"It's not that hard . . .?" Dipper tried, leaning away from Pacifica.

Pacifica jumped to her feet, her many triangles on her skirt jingling as she moved. "Come, Dipper dear! We have a spell to practice!"

Dipper dejectedly got up and started to follow Pacifica to her trailer.

Oh, how he wished he could go home.

But even he couldn't deny it.

Gideon Northwest really was unbearable.

~

Mabel ran into Gideon again, a few days later - this time in the library - when the chaos started.

She had checked out a book on ghosts (she found ghosts and things like that utterly fascinating), and she had spotted Gideon in one of the sections.

Mabel squinted. What section was he in?

Aha.

He was in the fantasy section.

Mabel bristled up at this. He dare mock The Grimm Sisters - which was a fantasy series - only to go to the library a day or two later and then search the fantasy shelves for a book to read?

Or maybe he was just looking, because he was so rich he didn't need to read.

Once she had checked out her book, she glanced in the fantasy section - just to see what Gideon was up to.

And Gideon, it seemed, was looking for a book. He glanced up and down the book aisle, but he didn't pick a book. So he turned around sharply on his heel and walked out of the shelf . . . and Mabel, just in the nick of time, hid behind the shelf she had poked her head around.

Instead of getting out of the library, Gideon stopped.

He exhaled. "I know you're there, Pines."

Mabel scowled, stepping out of her hiding spot. "I thought you didn't like fantasy, Northwest," she said coolly.

"Of course I like fantasy, I just don't care for your 'Grimm Sisters' book." Gideon glanced at the book Mabel held today.

Mabel hid her book in her coat. "Don't need to see my book. Why were you snooping around in the section?"

"Why were you snooping around and following me?" Gideon shot back, taking a step towards her. "Do you have a crush on me or something?"

"Wha - no!" Mabel cried. "I just thought you didn't like fantasy!"

She shouldn't have followed Gideon into the fantasy section. She turned around towards the exit, but Gideon demanded, "Don't you leave! Get back here!"

Mabel ignored him, walking faster to the exit. She shoved open the door and glanced over her shoulder - "Now you're snooping around!" she yelled over her shoulder. Gideon was following her now!

Then Gideon stopped, scowling. "Fine! Just don't act like a creep next time you go to the library, Pines!"

Mabel felt her temper rise, but she clenched her fists angrily, wrapped her arms around her new book, and started walking quickly away.

But then there was a sneeze from behind her and a zap that made her skid to a stop and whirl around - just in time to see Gideon collapsing into the snow.

Mabel's book fell to the sidewalk with a smack.

Whatever had happened to Gideon - well, he deserved it. But Mabel couldn't help but just stare at him, torn between helping him, waiting for someone else to help him, or just run away.

"PACIFICA!" came a familiar cry. "You don't just make him PASS OUT!"

Mabel turned her head so sharply that her neck cracked - Dipper! There was Dipper, standing behind a bush, and he was shouting at Pacifica Pleasure.

Mabel picked up her book and ran over to her brother. "Dipper! What happened to Gideon?"

"I only meant to make him pass out for a bit!" Pacifica insisted, looking furious. "But it's too cold and I sneezed and messed up the spell and now who knows what I did to Gideon!"

"You better not have -" Dipper began.

"No, I didn't kill him!" Pacifica threw her hands up. "At the very least, I gave him a magical concussion. Happy?"

"No!" Dipper screeched. "You need to take a chill pill -"

"Well they don't exactly grow on trees -"

As Pacifica and Dipper bickered, Mabel snuck a glance at Gideon, passed out in the snow. He looked all right - he was still breathing, so that was good -

Her eyes widened.

Gideon's ears.

They were growing. They were pointing. They were turning white and -

And Gideon had a pair of wolf ears.

"Guys?" Mabel ventured.

But they didn't hear her and went on arguing. "If you gave him even a magical concussion then I'm not hanging out with you anymore!" Dipper stomped his foot in protest. "So there!"

"No, I didn't give him a concussion!" Pacifica said quickly. "I only said that was the worst that can happen -"

"Guys!" Mabel said, a little more frantically. Gideon stirred and put a hand to his head, groaning.

"- if it's the worst that can happen and if it still happens then hoo boy do I have complaints for you -"

" - I didn't exactly have a lot of options to go off of!" Pacifica screeched.

"GUYS!" Mabel shouted, causing passersby to glance at her in curiousness and then at Gideon and then walk quickly away.

"What?" Pacifica and Dipper shouted back, turning to Mabel.

But then their gaze fell on Gideon's wolf ears, and Dipper's jaw dropped and Pacifica blinked in surprise.

Gideon raised his head and scowled at the trio in front of them. "What are you all staring at?" he snapped. No, literally snapped - his mouth turned into a wolf's snout right before everyone's very eyes, which made the trio shrink back even more. "Rude -"

And then there was a poof of mist, and suddenly Gideon was a wolf. A pale, stark-white wolf with a collar that his amulet hung off of.

Mabel dropped her book again.

Once again happy birthday to our favorite winged friend!! I hope you liked it and sorry not sorry that I left you on a cliffhanger XD