Chapter 12: Not My First Heartbreak


The ride back to my house was quieter than I expected. Taehyung and I sat in the back seat of the van, sharing the same personal manager and driver. He hummed softly to himself, gazing out the window, his fingers lightly tapping against his knee to an unknown rhythm.

"You're unusually quiet," he said suddenly, turning to me with a soft smile.

"Just tired," I replied, offering a faint smile of my own. "Today was a lot."

He nodded, his expression understanding. "It was. But you handled it well."

I glanced at him, surprised by the compliment. Before I could respond, the van slowed to a stop in front of my house. Taehyung gestured toward the door, smiling. "Go rest. You deserve it."

"Thanks," I said softly, gathering my things. "You too."

Once inside, I kicked off my shoes, placed my bag on the nearest chair, and made my way to the couch. I had barely sat down when my phone buzzed with an incoming video call. I smiled when I saw the caller ID: Papa.

"Hi, Pa!" I greeted, holding up my phone.

"Clover!" His warm smile filled the screen. "I just saw you on TV again. You were with BTS, my anak! It's amazing to see you out there, doing your thing."

I laughed lightly, adjusting the phone. "Thanks, Pa. It's just the promotions for now, but it's been... a lot of fun."

"You look happy," he said, his tone softening. But then his smile faltered just a little, replaced by a familiar crease of worry on his forehead. "But, Clover, are you sure this isn't too much for you? Your condition—"

"Pa," I interrupted gently, "I promise, it's okay. You don't have to worry so much." I shifted on the couch, trying to reassure him. "The workload isn't heavy. I'm only doing songwriting for now, and it's something I enjoy. Plus, everyone's been really nice to me. They're easy to work with."

He sighed, but the concern in his eyes didn't fade completely. "I just... I know how much this means to you. I just want you to take care of yourself. Don't push too hard, anak."

"I won't," I promised, giving him a small smile. "You know me, Pa. I've got this."

For a moment, neither of us spoke. He simply looked at me, pride and worry mingling in his gaze. "I'm proud of you," he said finally. "Always."

"Thanks, Pa." My chest felt tight, the weight of his words settling over me. "I'll make you even prouder. Just wait and see."

He chuckled softly, his expression finally relaxing. "I'll hold you to that."

After a few more minutes of light conversation, we said our goodbyes, and I ended the call, leaning back against the couch with a deep breath. I closed my eyes, letting the day's events wash over me.

In the quiet of my living room, I reminded myself of what I'd told him—how I wouldn't push too hard, how I'd take care of myself. I had to. For him. For me. For the dream I was finally beginning to live.

Just as I was about to head upstairs to bed, my phone buzzed with a new notification. I picked it up from the couch and saw Taehyung's name on the screen.

Hey, are you still awake?

I stared at the message for a moment, debating if I should even reply. My body felt drained from the day, but curiosity got the better of me.

Barely. What's up?

His response came almost immediately.

Wanna hang out?

My eyebrows furrowed as I reread the message. Hang out? At this hour? I glanced at the time on my phone. It was past midnight.

Isn't it a little late for that?

Come on, it'll be fun. I'll take you to a spot no one knows about. Promise it won't get us into trouble.

I chewed on my lip, hesitating. Every bone in my body screamed at me to decline. It had been a long day, and I could feel the pull of my bed calling me. But this was Taehyung. The way he asked, almost casually but with a hint of eagerness, made it hard to say no.

Are you sure we won't get caught?

100%. I've got it all figured out. You trust me, right?

Trust him? I barely trusted myself to stay awake at this hour. But there was something in the way he phrased it—something warm and inviting—that made my resolve weaken.

Fine. But if we get in trouble, it's all on you.

Deal. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes.

I sighed, tossing my phone onto the couch. Ten minutes? That wasn't enough time to talk myself out of this. Shaking my head, I grabbed a hoodie and slipped on a pair of sneakers. As much as I hated exerting energy unnecessarily, I couldn't deny that I wanted to spend time with him too.

A soft honk outside made me glance toward the window. Sure enough, Taehyung's car was waiting at the curb. I took one last deep breath, steeling myself for whatever adventure he had planned, and stepped outside.

As I stepped into Taehyung's car, the soft glow of the dashboard lights illuminated his face. His signature boxy smile greeted me, warm and genuine, as if he'd been waiting all day just for this moment.

"You're late," he teased lightly, his tone playful.

"It's only been ten minutes," I shot back, rolling my eyes as I buckled my seatbelt.

He chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "You know, Clover, if it were any other girl, they wouldn't even hesitate to spend time with me. Especially if I was the one asking."

I froze at his words, my face heating up instantly. Was he serious? His gaze flicked toward me, amusement dancing in his eyes as though he knew exactly the effect he was having on me.

"You're... you're not just 'any other guy,'" I mumbled under my breath, trying to mask my nervousness.

"What was that?" he asked, leaning slightly closer, his grin widening.

"Nothing!" I blurted, looking out the window to avoid his piercing gaze.

He laughed, the sound soft and melodic, as if my reaction only fueled his amusement. "You're really something, Clover. Most people act differently when they know I'm their bias, but you—you hesitate, and I don't know if I should be flattered or offended."

I didn't know what to say to that. My mind raced, words tangled up somewhere between my heart and my throat. If only he knew how hard it was to keep my emotions in check around him. If only he knew how much I wanted to tell him that being with him made me feel alive in a way I couldn't put into words. But I couldn't. I couldn't let myself get carried away. Not with my fragile heart.

Taehyung didn't push further. Instead, he turned his attention back to the road, his smile softening.

The drive was quiet, save for the occasional hum of the engine and the faint sound of music playing in the background. Eventually, we arrived at a secluded spot—a quiet park tucked away from the bustling city lights. The trees swayed gently in the breeze, and the stars above glimmered like scattered diamonds against the inky black sky.

Taehyung stepped out first, retrieving a guitar from the back seat. "Come on," he said, motioning for me to follow.

I trailed behind him, the cool night air brushing against my skin as we made our way to a small clearing. It was peaceful here, the kind of place where time felt like it stood still. Taehyung settled onto a bench, patting the spot next to him.

"Let's make some music," he said, his voice low but full of warmth.

Under the stars, we played the guitar together—well, mostly him, with me fumbling along. He sang a few lines, his deep, soulful voice resonating in the stillness of the night. At some point, we simply listened to music on his phone, sharing earphones as the melodies filled the quiet space between us.

"This is nice," he murmured, glancing at me.

I nodded, my chest tightening in a way that had nothing to do with my condition. "Yeah. It really is."

And for that moment, it felt like everything was perfect, like the world had paused just for the two of us.

But then, out of nowhere, a question bubbled up in my chest—one I hadn't meant to voice, but it slipped out before I could stop myself.

"Taehyung," I said softly, breaking the stillness. He looked up, his deep brown eyes meeting mine, curious.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I blurted, my voice tinged with uncertainty. "I'm... I'm nothing special."

His fingers stilled on the guitar strings, and for a moment, the world felt like it had stopped spinning. He tilted his head, studying me with an expression I couldn't quite read.

And then, he smiled—that warm, boyish smile that made my heart skip a beat.

"That's exactly what makes you special, Clover," he said simply, his tone genuine, like he wasn't just saying it to comfort me.

I blinked, taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"You don't try to be anything you're not," he explained, setting the guitar aside and leaning back slightly. "You're real. Honest. You don't treat me like I'm some untouchable idol. You hesitate, you challenge me, and you keep your walls up even when it would be easier to let them down. That's rare."

His words hung in the air, heavy and meaningful. I didn't know how to respond. My instinct was to brush it off, to deflect with humor or change the subject. But the sincerity in his eyes kept me rooted in place.

"I don't see myself that way," I admitted quietly, my voice barely audible.

"Well, maybe it's time you did," he said with a small smile, his gaze never wavering.

Something about the way he looked at me in that moment made me feel seen in a way I hadn't before. It wasn't just his words—it was the way he said them, like he truly believed them.

The night continued, but his words stayed with me, echoing in my mind long after the music faded into silence.

The stars twinkled faintly above us as we fell into a comfortable rhythm of quiet conversation, the kind that felt more like music than words. Taehyung plucked a few random notes on his guitar, his gaze occasionally drifting to the sky before landing back on me.

But then he hesitated, as if debating whether to ask something. Finally, he set the guitar down and spoke, his tone gentle.

"Clover," he began, his voice careful, "can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, that's okay."

I looked at him, curious but cautious. "Sure," I said slowly, not sure what to expect.

"It's about Tris," he said, his expression unreadable. "That night... he said you were his ex-girlfriend. I've been wondering about it since then."

For a moment, I froze. The name alone was enough to send a ripple of unease through me. He must've noticed the shift in my demeanor because he quickly added, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

But I found myself shaking my head. "No, it's okay," I said quietly, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my sleeve. "I'll tell you."

Taehyung nodded, leaning back slightly to give me space, his eyes warm and patient.

"Tris..." I started, exhaling softly, "he was my first love. But not my first heartbreak."

Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed slightly, and he stayed silent, letting me continue at my own pace.

"My mother and my twin were the first ones who broke my heart," I admitted, my voice growing steadier. "Even before Tris came into my life, I already knew what it felt like to be... discarded. To feel like you're not enough."

I paused, my gaze fixed on the ground. The words felt heavy, but once they started coming, it was hard to stop.

"Tris knew all of that," I said, my voice tinged with bitterness. "He knew everything about my past. And still... he broke my heart too. It wasn't just the way things ended. It was how he promised he wouldn't hurt me, and then he did it anyway."

The silence that followed felt like a weight between us. I finally glanced up at Taehyung, expecting pity or discomfort in his eyes. But instead, there was only understanding—a deep, quiet kind of empathy that made my chest ache.

"I'm sorry, Clover," he said softly.

I shook my head, forcing a small, tight smile. "It's okay. It's in the past."

But as Taehyung's gaze held mine, it felt like he saw through the facade, like he knew there were still pieces of me that hadn't fully healed.

"Thank you for telling me," he said gently.

I nodded, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. There was something about Taehyung's presence—his quiet attentiveness—that made me feel safe, even when I didn't want to let my guard down.

And just like that, the moment passed. Taehyung picked up his guitar again, strumming a soft, comforting tune, as if giving me the space to breathe. But I could feel the weight of his words lingering between us, a silent promise that he wouldn't be another name added to my list of heartbreaks.

I hesitated for a moment, my thoughts tangled in a web of memories I didn't want to revisit. A part of me wanted to tell Taehyung everything—to spill the whole, ugly truth about what happened with Tris. About how I caught him cheating on me. About how I stood there, frozen, watching him do it with someone else, feeling my entire world collapse in that instant.

But I didn't.

What good would it do now? Tris was a popular performer, admired by millions. Dragging up our past, even if it was the truth, would only stir unnecessary drama. I didn't want to stain his reputation or become the reason for his downfall, no matter how much he had hurt me.

So instead, I swallowed the words, burying them deep in the part of me that had grown used to hiding the worst of my pain.

"I don't think about it much anymore," I said finally, my voice steady despite the storm raging inside me. "It's just one of those things you learn to live with."

Taehyung's gaze lingered on me, his expression soft but searching. I wondered if he could sense there was more I wasn't saying. But if he did, he didn't press me.

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