"Be good, okay?"

"Why? So I will not put your raising to shame?" Benjamin challenged me, stuck out his tongue before he ran off to his Nonna. My eyes rolled slowly, but a chuckle escaped from my lips nonetheless. I turned to Vincenzo and Raffaele, wondering what their plans were for today seeing they wanted to take me somewhere, for some quality time, as well as a day away from my responsibilities.

"Zev, fratello, you are not ready for today." Vincenzo ran his fingers through his dark brown hair, wiggled his left eyebrow while packing bags full of water bottles and pasta. Something physical, it seemed. "We will see if you have done something about your physical fitness." Throwing one of the backpacks towards me, I caught it just before it could hit my face. "Starting off, keep that on your back for the whole trip."

"Well, you left me wondering now." I let out a laugh, watched how Rafaelle and Vincenzo both had another backpack resting on their backs. "What are we going to do?"

"You still have no clue? Povero tesoro.." Rafaelle smacked his hand against my back. "Hike. All the way up that mountain over there. On the top, rent a mountain- bike, cycle all the way back down. Let's go!" He clasped his hands together, kissed his wife and children and grinned. "Prepare, Zev. It's going to be a long day."

I didn't mind that. A hike and a mountain bike trip seemed perfect to empty a mind.

"Mamma! Prepara la cena in anticipo. Avremo fame!" Vincenzo winked at Nonna, making me wonder what he'd just said.

"Sì! Perché papà non sa cucinare!" Benjamin bursted out into laughter when he looked at me. When more eyes turned my direction, I figured Benjamin said something about me, but since his Italian had bettered and mine had worsened, I didn't understand what he told them.

It made me feel left out. The type of feeling when the older boys at school would talk in a bro code kind of way when younger boys stood near, leaving you hanging. I just smiled, stared at Benjamin, wondering when his Italian had become so good, also trying to get the translation out of him, but he only stuck out his tongue in response.

"Looks like the meat is not the only thing we're roasting today." Rafaelle unlocked the car and plopped down behind the steering wheel, motioning for us to sit down. Cappuccino, his Golden Retriever hopped in, too.

"I see. Nice tactic. Speaking dirt about your father in another language he doesn't quite understand." I pursed my lips and quickly wore my seatbelt when he sped off, my cheek almost colliding with the headrest of the seat in front of me.

Their laughter was loud, drilling my ears. But I guess you get used to it, when you marry a girl who grew up in an Italian household.

We flew through the hairpin bends with Rafaelle's old Fiat 500 Oldtimer, Aurora's dream car. I wasn't sure if the noises that came from the car were supposed to be there, but with his foot drumming on the gas, the car just went through.

He rammed the brake like we'd just hit a grandma crossing the road, but when I saw the neat white lines upon the road, I figured we had just parked. I glanced at the dog, hoped nothing'd hit him, but when he looked back at me, his eyes screamed that this happened each time and nothing was going on. "Alright, amici! Let the adventure begin."

The space in the back of the car had been tight, so when I stretched my legs after stepping out, I let out a breath of relief. I lifted my face to the sun, closed my eyes for a brief moment to soak it up. If only this climate would blow over to England.

"Hey! Fratello! We don't have all day."

I jogged over to them.

With our sunglasses resting upon our noses, bottles of water in our hands and the sweat slowly trickling down my face already, we started the hike. The sun was warm, but the breeze was a little cool, which made it more than bearable. We walked in silence for a while, enjoying the nature the way it was. Cappuccino ran before us, marking his territory every time he'd had the chance to.

The path was made of gravel, and soon later the trees and bushes surrounded us fully, sometimes leaving a gap, where tourists gazed at the stunning lakes beneath the mountains. They'd clearly practiced their Italian, mumbling out a ciao every time we passed them.

I grinned when a typical British family tried to pronounce some Italian. Wondered if they realised I was as English as one could be. Then wondered why their children weren't at school. Perhaps, they were fleeing, too.

"Benjamin grew a lot taller. Mio Dio. Slowly turning into a young man."

"Oh, please. Let it wait a moment longer. He's only eleven."

"No, you don't worry. Some boys turn into a young man, ever so slightly, at the age of sixteen. Right Vincenzo?"

Vincenzo started cursing in Italian. Loud. Sounding angry, but out of experience with Aurora, it wasn't necessarily that. Not always, at least. A grin appeared on his face later. I chuckled.

"He behaves like a teenager sometimes."

"What's that mean?"

"Talking back. Attitudes. You name it." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Probably just the age." He smacked his hand upon my back.

"I guess. Hopefully when he turns twelve it will not get worse."

"I was talking about your age." Rafaelle let out a laughter, almost plopping closed my ear. "Old Papà's cannot handle as much anymore."

I shoved him away.

"It's fine. My little girl, she's ten now. She has that attitude. They're just trying to trigger your boundaries." Vincenzo nudged my shoulder with his'. "They'll get over it."

Topic closed. I didn't feel like talking about Benji's behaviour. I was here to have fun with my brothers. We hiked further up the mountain and I already started to feel the muscles in my thighs burning. Vincenzo and Rafaelle were, judging by the way they walked, used to it. I started to walk a little behind, but thank goodness Cappuccino kept me company.

His tongue draped out of his mouth, hanging at the right side. Sometimes he glanced up at me to see if I was okay. I would shake my head and point at my legs. Cappuccino would wail and run off. "Thanks, bud." I'd whisper, jogging a little to keep up with my brothers.

We hiked for an hour or two more, until Rafaelle pointed vaguely at something that was ahead.

"Let me show you a spot." Rafaelle started jogging, so I followed. It took us just a few minutes. He pushed through the bushes, Cappuccino taking the lead, clearly knowing where he'd wanted to go. I figured they had been here before many times.

With the branches of the trees and bushes scratching my bare arms, I hissed and scoffed, but when my eyes fell onto the place my brothers had taken me to, I became speechless.

The view we were given consisted out of a few smaller lakes, resting in between the higher mountains which surrounded them. As the air so blue, it reflected upon the lakes, giving away an outstanding picture right before my eyes. Which once was a tree, was now made into several seats and a wooden plank was transformed into a picnic table. A little further, a self- put together barbeque was montaged out of stones and a grill.

The view was outstanding, I'd never seen anything like this before.

"Wow."

"You like?"

"Love, more like it."

They smiled contently.

"Cannot believe Aurora never took you up here."

Rafaelle glanced at Vincenzo. Melancholy stood on his face for a split second. "I get it. But she came here after that, too." He defended. I didn't know what they were talking about.

"It was her own healing process." The conversation switched from English to Italian. For a minute, I thought they were fighting, but eventually their faces softened when their eyes fell on me.

"Our cousin.." Rafaelle's jaws clenched. They turned red. Not because of shame, but inner anger. "He took her up here when she was fourteen. She told you the story."

Right. He took her up mountain for a hike, and assaulted her when they were together.

I clenched my jaws too.

"We can come here normally because we beat the crap out of him right at this place. He spewed out a few teeth, the ambulance had a hard time finding him." Vincenzo grinned. "We don't mean to make you feel angry about this place. It's a family place."

Aurora had healed, had forgiven him for God knows why. I figured it was only fair to focus on my brothers instead of the tragedy.

"And we mark our territory right at the place we threw him after he was knocked out."

They grinned again. I followed them towards the bushes, watching how Cappuccino went for a wee and my brothers unbuckled their trousers. I followed their actions, and a moment later the three of us emptied our bladders. If that wasn't proper brotherhood.

Vincenzo flamed the grill and opened his backpack, reaching for some pizza and pasta to warm it up. I sat onto one of the benches, brought the water bottle to my mouth. A few swallows and it was empty. I wiped the hair out of my face, let my mind wander freely.

When the food was warmed up, Rafaelle popped a bottle of wine and poured some in the glasses he brought with him. I declined politely, gazed at his bottle of water. "Fratello, rule number one, never decline wine. Why, are you sick?"

I didn't answer, awkwardly stared at the lakes instead.

"You don't drink it anymore?"

"Eh.." I gazed at his water bottle again. "I'm just really craving some water right now."

"Nonsense." He let out a sigh. Plopped down upon the bench himself. It was clear he knew the reason. "I must say, I was surprised when Mamma and Papà called me." Vincenzo nodded in agreement. "What brings you here, Zev." His voice was soft. Willing to listen. At the same time stern. Not wanting to waste no time. Aurora like. Their resemblance pained me sometimes.

I let out a chuckle, because I didn't know what else to do. It stayed silent for a long time. My mind debated between everything as for this moment.

Rafaelle stuffed my plate full with pasta and pizza, his eyes questionable.

I let out a deep sigh. I guess I did not have a choice.

"I mean.." Vincenzo interrupted my attempt to try and talk. "Benjamin is supposed to be at school, isn't he?"

"I called his school for permission."

"That's not the point." Rafaelle took a sip of his wine, swirled it around in his glass like Aurora taught me to do. "As a teacher yourself, you should know how important education is for a child. You wouldn't let him not go to school for no reason."

"I just needed to get away for a while." I licked my lips, thoughtfully nibbled onto my bottom one. "Benji did too, I suppose."

Vincenzo's eyes, which were blue, unlike Rafaelle who's eyes were grey, bored through mine, encouraging me to speak further.

"It wasn't going so well with Benjamin at school. I thought he just needed to get away for a while."

"And you? All right?"

I shrugged.

"The grief gripping on tighter?"

I sighed. Didn't feel like talking about it.

"Zev-"

"My mind is just a complete whirlwind the past few weeks. I don't know why. How to stop it. I don't know anything for now. Alright?" The words came out harsher than I wanted them to be, but I guess it portrayed the pain which had rooted deeply inside.

"Something happen? Or the memories?"

I stared at the wooden table, my arms hanging loosely beside my body.

"You know, sometimes the missing gets worse. Other days it goes.. okay." Vincenzo rattled on, his words fading to the back of my head, where I couldn't hear them anymore.

Stomach ache appeared, twisting and turning into a knot deep inside my tummy. I felt nauseous, needed their advice on the situation between me and Salomé. I felt safe around them, trusted them enough to tell what had happened, but it was so hard.

They were Aurora's brothers. Their reaction scared me.

But when they continued to rattle on and my stomach ache was getting so worse that I felt like throwing up, the words flew out of my mouth before I knew it. "I met someone new and I kissed her."

Vincenzo and Rafaelle became quiet. Stayed quiet for a painfully long time.

My eyes were still glued to the table, but when I looked up, I could see the hurt, the betrayal upon both faces. I hadn't known what to expect when it came to their reactions to this, but their pain made me feel hurt. Had hoped it would have been different.

"What?"

"Just like I said." I mumbled out, the warmth slowly making its way upon my cheeks. I had made a huge mistake. And not only by telling, but the action itself.

Vincenzo started cursing. Loudly. In Italian. This time it didn't make me laugh, like Aurora would make me with her scolding. It was clear that Vincenzo was angry. He spewed out words. Stood up. Smacked his plate off the table. "How can you like someone else already? You're moving on way too quick. That isn't possible. You were married to her for what? Fourteen years?"

"Vincenzo." Rafaelle's eyebrows were furrowed, he shook his head at him, but it didn't stop Vincenzo.

"Did it all mean nothing to you?" Vincenzo glared at me. His dark eyebrows furrowed, with a deep frown creasing his forehead. "Nothing! Who is she? How did you meet her?"

"Through work." I answered, petting Cappuccino in the meantime who, thank goodness, came to sit beside me. As if he'd felt the tension. "She's been good to me."

"I don't care." More Italian curses. "That's not love."

"Vincenzo." Rafaelle scolded him.

"It is not!" He spat out his saliva onto the ground, clearly feeling offended. "You don't like her. You don't. You miss the physical part of it all. That's it. That's clearly it. Your body is speaking, not your mind."

I looked up at him. Bewildered. Hurt."What? You'd know that's not it. I'd always been faithful and loyal, did not give myself away until I was married. And I'd do it like that for someone new I would meet. That doesn't make any sense!"

"Aurora, you're putting her to complete dirt and shame!" Vincenzo nudged my shoulders roughly, as if he was trying to shake some sense into my body. Maybe I needed it. Maybe he needed it.

"Ragazzi, smettetela!"

"I don't speak Italian!" I spat out at Rafaelle. "I don't know what you're saying."

"Stop arguing. You're all making this harder for each other."

Vincenzo started talking in rapid Italian, Rafaelle talking back.

I lifted my hands in despondency, walked away from the two of them. Tears pricked behind my eyes, but I swallowed them away. It wasn't the time to cry. When was it. I had made a huge mistake, I was now sure of that.

However, when my thoughts brought me back to Salomé, I mourned not being near her, even when she'd hurt me. It all made the situation even more complicated. I didn't want to like another woman, I didn't want to be with another woman other than Aurora, but something drew me towards her, and even if I tried to- I couldn't stop it.

It was a natural reaction. How could one stop natural reactions?

Life had attached me to strings, playing me around like a puppet. Pulling me back and forth. Reaching for the one point, only to roughly pull me back to the other. I had no say in things. It just happened. If I liked it or not.

Vincenzo and Rafaelle continued to fight. Anger appeared inside of me. Anger. So much anger. Anger I had been holding back. Anger about the situation with my daughter Eden. Aurora's sickness. Benjamin's behaviour. And not because of him- he was helpless. Because of my own behaviour, which could not seem to help him. Salomé.

I wanted to scream. Wanted to hear the power of the echo it would send through the mountains. Hoping somebody would hear it. Hoping somebody would suck the grief, the guilt, the bewilderment, the helplessness out of me.

Vincenzo started cursing some more. Rafaelle stood up, talked back in rapid Italian. It was a mess. I stood up, collected everything that I'd taken out of my backpack and started walking away, Cappuccino following me, even when he was lightly disorientated by the fact that we left Vincenzo and Rafaelle there. At some point he stopped.

Their reactions were painful. I hadn't expected them. What I had expected, was a mystery to me too. I wanted to be in bed and stay there for the rest of my life, until death would take me away.

Maybe that was a harsh statement, but my mind couldn't put it any more optimistic.

I heard them yelling at me from the distance. Not in an angry way. But the confusion Cappuccino's eyes had portrayed when he'd walked away with me. I ignored them.

By the time I arrived back at the lake house, I undressed myself, stepped into my bed and slept, figuring someone would bring Benjamin over eventually, anyway.

•

A nice day out with Aurora's brothers.. ahum. Anyway. What do you think of Zev telling them?

Their reactions? Understandable? Fair?

Aurora's story :(

Zev's thoughts and feelings?

Let me know in the comments x