20 | Edelweiss
2001 Brunello di Montalcino
Whenever I would say something about Papà and you would have been through a similar situation, you always mentioned 'Unc Teddy' and never your father. I was curious. And you knew me, if I was curious, I could be straight to the point. Sometimes I talked without thinking things through, but I had seen your face before when you had talked about your father- I knew I had to be careful with this topic. One day, when we were drinking Papà's cappuccinos in the hammock in our backyard, I asked you. "What happened to your Papà?"
I can still see your expression. It dropped. Heavily. Hurt was written on your face. And not in delicate Italics. But in bold. Capitals. You played with my fingers. "He let his ego and selfishness take over. Left us for someone else." You shrugged, as if it was nothing, but I could tell it hurt you more than anything, still.
You told me about how your father had told you he'd found a new job where he needed to work different shifts, from nightshifts to day shifts to evening shifts. He wasn't home much. Weeks later, he barely made it home one day a week. Your mother had her suspicions, she knew it deep down, but she didn't want to give in. She would lose it all and for some reasons she wanted to hold on to the uncertainty instead of the truth, knowing she would hurt her children, too.
It took her months to accept the situation and when he had officially broken things off, your mother had sat you and your siblings down onto the sofa. She told you and your sisters that daddy needed to think about life for a long time. She had given you all false hope. Every day you would ask when he would come back, and when your mother had been high in her emotions, fed up with the question, she had cried out that you needed to shut your mouth, asking you if it hadn't been obvious already that he wasn't coming back, ever. From that moment, a part of your heart had been ripped off, and it had never healed.
However, whenever you would talk about 'Unc Teddy' your face would lighten up and your laugh would appear. You knew the question would come, sooner or later.
"When can I meet this Uncle Teddy?"
"Do you want to meet him?" You had sounded surprised.
"Zev, of course. He seems important to you. What are you waiting for?"
You were nervous. You needed to pee at least ten times again. You picked me up, but I let you go to the toilet first. When you came out, quite the fuss had been happening in our household. Papà was crossing himself whilst Mamma was scolding me about a letter that had come in from school.
"Aurora, sei impazzito?!" Mamma shook her head rapidly, threw her hands in the air while talking in rapid Italian to Papà. I held your hand, rolled my eyes at them and pecked your cheek, whispering that you should not take any notice of that situation.
"What happened?" You whispered.
"I sent a letter to the headmaster that I wasn't going to apply to any Universities, because I don't want to study." I nudged my head in Mamma's direction. "The headmaster sent me a letter back and Mamma is not amused."
"Aurora, Principessa.." Papà shook his head. "We are here in England for good studies. For you. For Rafaello. Vincenzo. You got yourself in trouble. Your school, no, it won't accept this, Aurora. You got yourself in a mess. How will you fix this? You already left a dirty mark of yourself. Aurora.."
"How does one solve a problem like Aurora's?" Papà started singing, smiled widely at you and waved us off. "Come on, meet Zev's Papà. I will fix this mess." He pointed at Mamma. We both couldn't help but laugh at that, and we ran off.
In the car, you kept your eyes on the road, but I could see the doubt in them. "What is it, Zev?"
"You really aren't going to study, are you?"
"Why would people who think they are above us, citizens, decide what I have to do in my life? Who are they to determine my path of life? To destroy my views on the importance of the life I have been given by God, Papà and Mamma? No, Zev. I won't study. I want to get married, have children, take care of them like mothers are supposed to and care for my husband. Man, I cook good food, Zev. You don't want to miss out on that, do you?"
"Definitely not."
"Good."
I could tell why you liked Teddy. He was a good man. He was welcoming, warm, considerate. He called you son when he saw you, gave me a genuine smile when you introduced me to him.
"Unc.. this is Aurora, my girlfriend." You wrapped your arm around my shoulders, gave Teddy a, somewhat, timid, smile. "Aurora, this is Teddy.. my male role model in life." I felt warm, hearing you speak those words, knowing how important he must have been in your life, growing up as a young boy without a father figure. Besides that, I felt welcomed. Seen. Loved.
"Aurora. It's good to finally meet you. Boy is talking the ears off my head when the topic leads to you. Italian, isn't it so?"
His comment about you surprised me. I couldn't stop smiling. "It surely is." I felt proud of my roots, so I smiled with my chin up. You couldn't keep your eyes off me. You laughed. I nudged your belly.
"I can see why you like her, Zev." He'd winked at you, to which you just shyly looked away. "Meet my wife Rosie. She's in the garden, busying herself with whatever she's bought at the outdoor store today."
Do you remember that moment? We stepped into the garden, hands intertwined. My eyes had widened. I was wearing an oversized self knitted sweater on top of a floral dress, which blended completely in the garden which Rosie and Teddy had created. Wildflowers were everywhere. Bees were everywhere. My nose was overwhelmed with the smell. My eyes overwhelmed by all of the colours. I had forgotten to introduce myself to Rosie. I danced through the flowers, looked at you and pressed my nose against yours. "Oh, Zev. When we marry, I want this in our garden! I want this to be our garden."
I had danced, and you had watched me the whole time long. After dinner with them, you took me back to the garden, where you and Teddy had set up a movie, which would be displaying onto the brick wall of the house. Pillows had been thrown onto the floor, snacks and drinks were set up. Lightbulbs lit the area, hung all around the backyard. From tree to tree, to the shed and the fence. I felt crazy, my mind had been with the flowers so much that I hadn't seen this all. I remember how you looked up at Teddy with a smile that screamed gratefulness. He had given you fatherly smile back.
When the movie started, I squealed. "The sound of Music! It's the Sound of Music! No way!" Impulsively, I had wrapped my arms around your neck and squeezed you into my embrace, kissing your lips softly. "Amazing. Who would've thought we would watch The Sound of Music in between wildflowers?!"
"Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens.. brown paper packages tied up with strings.." You reached for a Tupperware box that held something warm. "Crisp apple strudels.." The smell lingered in my nose, I had widened my eyes. There was no way you actually had crisp apple strudels.
"Oh, Zev! Il mio amore." I picked up a crisp apple strudel and devoured it.
"When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel.. so bad." You sang, smiling timidly. Wrapped your arms around my neck. You whispered that I was your favourite thing.
The lonely goatherd scene came on, I challenged you to yodel like they did. Zev, I can't stop laughing while writing this. Do you remember that moment? You could be so polite, held back, timid, but at that moment you let everything go. You were home in Teddy's house. You yodeled like a girl. You challenged me back. So, every time they would yodel, we would. I was sure Teddy though we had just turned insane. My stomach had never hurt as much from laughing as on that day. You literally cried at some point, held your crotch because you needed to pee. It wasn't an illusion that time.
Oh, those carefree days.
When the scene was over, you became quiet. My head was on your shoulder, your arms were wrapped around me. I felt uncertain. Your face had become pale and your heart was beating rapidly. Your hand lingered on your trousers. They were clammy. You wiped them off every minute. At some point, I looked up, but you avoided my gaze.
"Zev?" I sat up, turned your face to mine and kissed you softly. "What's up?"
The Edelweiss scene came on. You sang along with the song. I did the same, figured you just had your emotional moment.
'Edelweiss, Edelweiss.
Every morning you greet me.
Small and white, clean and bright,
You look happy to meet me.'
"It's my favourite flower." I told you, brushing my finger over your light stubbled cheek, for forgetting to shave a day or two. "Isn't it sweet, how it greets someone? How it looks happy to meet someone? I want those in our garden, too."
You only smiled.
I remained silent for the rest of the movie, especially when the last part came on. You were biting your nails, your knee was bouncing up and down. You needed to pee. In other words; you were nervous. What for? Sure, I had hoped something like this, but I didn't exactly expect it. Knowing you, I was probably the one who had to take this huge step in our relationship. Nothing personal. Or well, maybe. Haha.
When the movie was over, we had schnitzels and noodles. It was awful, and for a moment we wondered if we had impreted the song wrongly and if it were supposed to be dishes on its own. We had figured that was it, but the laugh that came after was worth more than eating the dishes in its right way.
Softly, we sang the songs after the movie had ended. My eyes had fallen onto the wildflowers again. I danced, melted into nature. Touched the delicate flowers, smelled them, fell in love. My singing turned into humming an Italian song. I was lost in my mind, felt more thankful about everything than I had been in a while.
We'd shared some great moments, haven't we?
You sneaked inside, but I hadn't noticed, until you cleared your throat. I stopped dancing, curiously looked at you. You couldn't speak. Your legs couldn't stop moving. Your face was pale, sweaty. You took my hand in yours, brought me back to the center of the garden, where the flowers grew and bloomed.
You plucked an Edelweiss.
My mouth fell open. "What?! Teddy grows Edelweisses here? What is that seed-"
You sat on one knee. Held two things behind your back. First, you handed me the Edelweiss. Then you handed me a gift. A brown paper package tied up with strings. Like the song of The Sound Of Music. I opened it. It revealed a small box.
I pulled the lid with great enthusiasm. A delicate, thin, simple but gorgeous golden ring appeared.
"Aurora Moretti.. when you turn eighteen, will you marry me?"
Zev, sometimes, I couldn't make sense of you.
And still, I said yes.
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Zev and Aurora's engagement.. wasnt it lowkey but cute??
What do you think of Zev so far?
What do you think of Aurora so far?
Let me know your thoughts. Your comments motivate me so much!! X
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