☆ Chapter 25 ☆
"I am a demon."
The crowd let out a collective gasp, some hermits more surprised than others. The instant response to seeing Impulse's true form wasn't fear, or anger, or anything cold. The response was instead warm and welcoming. Each hermit had their own input to give, all at once.
Scar and Bdubs were, unsurprisingly, the first to react at all. Both cheered excitedly as soon as Impulse's glamour of sorts went down, with Bdubs even jumping from his seat.
Beside them, Mumbo let out a contemplative hum, before his eyes widened with realization, and he whisper-shouted "Yes! I was right!"
Both xB and Hypno grinned and started clapping, xB the quieter of the two.
Jevin leaned forward and slapped both hands on the table, exclaiming, "COOL!"
Keralis stared in Impulse's direction with awe and inspiration. "Good job, Impy, good for you," he muttered under his breath.
Next to Keralis, Beef and Etho kept looking between each other and the demon at the front of the room. "We were right, Etho!" Beef finally said, and Etho laughed, expression light and relieved.
"That's really awesome dude," Ren hummed, keeping it cool. He leaned forward on his elbows a little, smiling.
In contrast to Ren's nonchalance, False and Wels immediately jumped to their feet, each trying to step in front of the other with their hands at their sword hilts. "Wait, wait," Wels had stepped in front and turned his head back. "-wait," False repeated. "We're cool," Wels declared. "We're cool, it's fine," False agreed. The two sunk back into their chairs.
Doc wore an analytical expression for a moment or so. "Yep, the purring checks out now," he concluded.
Cub's expression was similar to Doc's, except with five times the energy. "I almost got it right!" he seemed to scold himself, hopping from his chair. "But this is so interesting...!"
From his spot, TFC gave a nod, and a smile full of incredible warmth, of silent acceptance and understanding.
"Nothing I didn't already know, but nice," Joe said, leaning back in his chair.
"Hold on, wait– how did you know already?!" Cleo asked incredulously, looking away from Impulse to stare down Joe. He didn't provide a clear answer, and the two started bickering back and forth.
"Oh, that's lovely hon," Stress cooed, ignoring the arguing hermits next to her. "I'm so glad you felt you could share!"
And lastly, at the end of the table, Zedaph was practically jumping up and down in delight, his eyes wide and sparkling like a kid in a candy store. "Oh my gods he's a demonnnn! Isn't it incredible, Tango?!" He leaned towards Tango, shaking him gently by the shoulders.
Everyone did something. Every hermit reacted in some wonderful, unique, positive way. They were all so appreciative and kind.
But Tango froze.
Zed kept babbling in his ear but all he could do was stare, body locking up and face paling. The others clapped, cheered, and congratulated, while Tango did nothing.
A dull pain filled his chest, growing worse by the heartbeat. Distantly, as if it wasn't in his own body, he could feel his hands start to shake. Bdubs rushed forward to wrap Impulse in a huge hug, and Xisuma joined quickly after him. Tango felt like he was going to throw up.
He couldn't take his eyes off Impulse, off the dark wings on his back and pointed horns on his head. It felt like his vision was tunneling, other hermits becoming nauseating blurs of movement in his peripheral, while Impulse sat dead center.
Tango didn't know what to feel. He was shocked yet also guilt-ridden. Scared yet surprised. None of his emotions made sense, and his head was spinning with all of them.
It should've been simple. All of this should've been just one new simple fact, no negative bias involved. Impulse's species was a demon, and that was the fact. But Tango couldn't see it with logic and objectivity, because a deep rooted gut instinct inside of him instantly ruled Impulse as a danger, and forced him to see him as such.
For Tango, 'Impulse Siv is a demon' was not a fact. It was a red flag.
Except, it hurt to think that, because Tango knew Impulse and he knew that he wasn't a threat. Impulse was good, but demons were bad, were supposed to be bad– all of it was a conflicting mess and it wouldn't stop getting worse and it was all ricocheting around in Tango's head like a ping pong ball.
He was spiraling down two rabbitholes simultaneously. One was of fear, picturing Impulse flashing his claws and teeth menacingly, eyes the color of blood. Demons, he thought, meant nothing but harm and terror and evil. The other rabbit hole was one of guilt, because he was certain that Impulse truly meant them no harm, and he was ashamed that he couldn't stop seeing blood. It was so unnecessary to have a bias against a 'dangerous' species if you were one yourself.
He choked on a breath, feeling dizzy and faint, like he'd been breathing out more than he'd been breathing in.
The other hermits were mostly all up and mingling around like they always did, with their attentions generally directed at Impulse. It was hectic and noisy, and the air was filled with excitement and praise that Tango wasn't giving any of. There was too much going on outside and there was too much going on inside–
Something was tugging him out of his dissaciociated state. A hand, lightly tapping his shoulder. A face, violet eyes meeting his.
"Tango? Are you with me?" Zed asked in concern. His expression gave away how he was trying to analyze Tango, trying to read him. "Is something wrong?"
Tango tried to focus, Zed's words just barely registering. "No," he responded. He wasn't sure if that was a lie or not. It might not have even been the right thing to answer.
"I should- uh- go outside for a mo-moment," Tango continued, remembering what he was supposed to do when he got overwhelmed. Outside would work. He didn't want to be in the same room with a de– with Impulse.
"Alright, if that works for you." Zed gave him a worried smile.
"I'm okay, I am, don't worry," Tango said, trying to ease some of Zed's concern. This time he knew it was a lie. But it was a lie that Zed seemed to believe. The sheep hybrid offered out his hand and helped Tango to his feet.
When he stood, Tango caught another glimpse of Impulse, and stared for a moment too long. He skipped a breath and a shudder ran through him, thoughts still swimming frantically, like salmon going upstream. He needed to get out of here right now. Needed to run away and face his problems later.
Before Tango could turn off, Zed slipped something into his hand. Tango took a moment to recognize it by it's shape as a stress ball. He gave it a squeeze. Zedaph smiled again before jumping back into the fray, into the chaos of the hermits in the room, while Tango left.
He hoped he went unnoticed when he exited, slipping out quietly and coming to a stop once he was outside the building.
The stress from being around so many good people began to recede. But his racing thoughts were still in full force.
Tango leaned against one of the exterior walls of the town hall, brick pressing into his back. "Impulse is a good person," he murmured to himself under his breath. Being a demon wasn't- it didn't- it shouldn't change things– but– BUT...
What the hell was wrong with him!? Why did this one change mean anything? It shouldn't mean anything, because demon or not, Impulse was his friend for crying out loud!
They were friends. He was friends with a demon.
Demons were not all that bad. Zed and Bdubs had both tried to convince him of that so long ago. When he had taken it upon himself to insult the demon race in front of Impulse's face.
Impulse wasn't the problem. Impulse was never the problem. Tango was.
He slid down the wall, ditching the stress ball on the ground as he sat in favor of hugging his arms close. He was a jerk He was a jerk He was a jerk He was a total absolute asshole of a jerk.
Tango had insulted Impulse. He had made fun of his kind with no remorse. He hadn't given him any appreciation like the others had, too caught up in his own head to do so. He knew he was horrible. He kept repeating it to himself in his head until the hermits started leaving the meeting, streaming out from the building.
When Tango dared to look up at the passing crowd, he picked out the face of Impulse. He hated how it was easier to pick him out by his angular wings and horns than by his gentle eyes and smile.
Zedaph was walking alongside Impulse, chatting his ear off like a Zedaph normally does. They got a little closer, and Tango caught their conversation over his shouting mind.
"Okay, okay, oh my gosh, I've got so many questions!" Zed blabbered, looking either caffeinated or on a sugar high. "Look at those wings, gosh, how high can you fly? How strong are they? Do ya think you could carry me so I could fly?! Ohhhh imagine the experiments! Do your horns grow? Do you head-but things with them like a goat? Oh- question: do demons like cuddles? Hypothesis: YES. Does your body run hotter since you're from the nether? Does it run colder since you're from the nether?! Is the tip of your tail keratin?—"
"Zed," Impulse cut him off, seeming to be overwhelmed by all the questions. He looked tired, and worried. And he was subtly staring at Tango.
Impulse looked back at Zed and nodded slightly in Tango's direction. Confliction passed briefly through Zed's eyes when he turned to look at Tango as well. Tango didn't really notice. Wordlessly, Zed and Impulse approached him, with Zed taking the lead.
"Hey," Zedaph hummed, his demeanor suddenly shifting from hyper to calm. "Is it a little better now that you're outside? You seemed pretty overwhelmed in there."
Tango didn't offer an answer, instead focusing his effort on keeping tears back. Both Zed and Impulse crouched down to be at eye level with him and gods, Impulse was so close. Tango had hurt Impulse so much, and he didn't even seem to know.
"I noticed you were getting overwhelmed too," Impulse picked up when Tango continued to stay silent. "I know it may have been because of... me. I- I..." he trailed off.
All at once, Tango heard his own voice echoing in his head.
'A demon? Good? The day I see a nice demon is the day the nether freezes over, or when pigs start flying.'
'Demons are like, the literal embodiment of evil, aren't they?!'
He heard a disbeleiveing laugh and an angered scoff. He saw an offensive gesture and a careless eye roll. All of it compiled itself into one. Into a case against himself.
"I'm sorry!" Tango cried, emotion bursting out of him. "I- I- Impulse– I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he fell into incoherent ramblings of the phrase inbetween gasps for breath, doubling forward and reaching out to catch himself on the ground.
Instead, Zed and Impulse caught him in their arms.
Zedaph was on his right, Impulse was on his left. One of them rubbed soothing circles into his back. His tears dripped into one of their laps.
"Hey, whoa, breathe, Tango, breathe," Zed's voice was right in his ear, barely above a whisper. He made slow, exaggerated breaths for Tango to copy. Tango tried to follow through sobs. It was difficult. "There, that's good, you're doing good," Zed reassured, hugging him a little tighter.
"I'm sorry," Tango repeated when he had the breath to do so. He lifted his head so he could look at the two of them properly. "No, no, why are you sorry? You don't need to be sorry for anything," Impulse responded gently, face twisting with concern.
Impulse didn't understand. How did he not understand?
"I'm a jerk," Tango answered once he'd gathered the words to do so. He put all of his effort into not stuttering. "I was a jerk to you Impulse, I was horrible, because- because I had it in my head that demons were terrible, but you aren't and I said they were in front of you– And you're good, but I thought you weren't, because I'm scared or something– and I don't know what to think." He finished with a huff of breath. "...I'm sorry."
Impulse was left speechless for a moment. Tango waited for him to be upset, to be unforgiving, to be angry or furious. None of those emotions came. Instead, Impulse muttered a soft, "I understand."
"I understand that it's hard to change your views on things- I expected this, honestly," Impulse continued. "I knew that some of you guys would see me differently after this." He was timid and quiet, and Tango couldn't help but notice the way that Impulse held his wings tightly against his back, or the way that his tail curled away out of sight.
"No," Tango objected, a wave of guilt running through him. "You're the same, Impulse. I reacted badly- and I- it's not you, it's me."
"Why is it you?" Zed asked quietly, trying to pinpoint his emotions.
Tango felt reasoning surfacing in his mind again. Answers popping up to his questions and confusions that he hadn't clued into before. Before he knew it, he was speaking again.
"I've had this bias against demons, and I know I shouldn't have- because, well, you and I aren't that different- being netherborn and all. It's unfair. But I guess... I guess it's because, growing up, it was always at least you aren't a demon. I was always told that. It was like I was the lesser of the two evil, and I was supposed to look down on you and it all– it all just makes my head hurt a little." He finished with a sigh. There was so much more that could be said, so many different ways to say it, but he felt that that would work for now.
Zedaph pulled him into a little bit of a tighter hug, mumbling random comforts.
"I'm sorry for running off- everything felt so sudden and I- I panicked." Tango added.
"There's no shame in that, you just needed some space," Impulse reassured, Zed nodding in agreement.
Tango felt some of his stress subsiding at his words. But he still knew he had so many apologies to give for all he had done so long ago. "I'm sorry for saying all those things about demons–"
"Hey, you didn't know I was one when you said them. Plus, it was a while ago, and you're not the first- most people out there are biased against them– us anyways." Impulse interjected. "But, even though you don't need to be sorry- I forgive you. If that's what you need to hear."
Everything started to slowly slot into place. Impulse didn't hate him. Tango let out a small "Oh," at this revelation. Impulse didn't hate him, because they were friends, and they would always be friends, regardless of the fact that Impulse was a demon.
Tango came to another revelation slowly. He was sitting next to a demon, in such close proximity to him and yet– nothing had gone wrong. It was hard to overcome the ingrained fear he was taught to have, but this, this was direct proof that his head had been playing tricks on him all this time. Maybe other demons were bad but this one, this one was not. Tango recalled Zedaph's opinions on the matter from so long ago. It wasn't all black and white. That was the key point he'd missed out on before.
Impulse fidgeted with the tip of his tail. "I understand if you don't want to be fr–"
"Shhhpp," Tango held out a finger to shush him. "I was thinking. I have my own biases to work through, yes, but we are not going to stop being friends. You are Impulse before you are a demon." he couldn't tell if his words were meant to convince himself of those facts, or to convince Impulse. Either way, Impulse smiled warmly, letting out a relieved breath.
Zedaph took their following silence as an opportunity to butt into the conversation. "He is a demon though, which is very good for experiments!" Zed grabbed at the edge of one of Impulse's wings, showing it off to Tango with starry eyes.
"Ow!" Impulse exclaimed, yanking his wing away from Zed with a glare that made Tango laugh.
"Experiments would be pretty fun," Tango teased, wiping away any remaining tears from the corners of his eyes with his sleeve.
"I hate you two," Impulse grumbled, trying to force down a grin for the sake of humor. "Nah, you love us," Zed countered, laughing cheekily.
"Hmmmm... You're right, I do, haha."
After he spoke, Impulse opened his arms to Tango, with an inviting look.
Communicating silently, they pulled each other into a hug again. Maybe it was a comforting embrace, though it was hard to tell who was comforting who, whether Impulse was forgiving Tango, or Tango was reassuring Impulse. Perhaps it was simply an embrace of joy, happiness and friendship, which was really the more likely scenario.
But either way, Tango knew that Impulse, demon or not, was a great friend. And they would get to stay friends for many more weeks, months, and even years. And out of everything that judged Impulse's character, his species didn't mean anything negative after all.
Tango didn't usually like being wrong, but this time, he was very glad that he was.
~ end chapter twenty five ~
A/N: Aww, lovely! Tango and Impulse got their issues sorted out, that's always good to see. And my art style is still incredibly inconsistent lol. In other news, I'm thinking of adding in some chapter titles at some point, so that might happen soon, who knows.
Need more Tango content than just this chapter? I impulsively started a rancher duo fic, because the rancher duo brainrot never goes away lol. I love it lots, so go check it out if you want!
See you again soon!!!
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