Carlos Vitale

My father's name.

I stood there paralyzed in shock.

No

It had to be some sort of messed-up coincidence.

Just because my birth father's name was Carlos Vitale didn't mean that he was the same man who killed Sebastian's brother.

But even when I tried to deny it there was no stopping the onslaught of suppressed memories. Pieces of my past that I had tucked away in a dark corner of my mind.

The doctor had said it was psychogenic amnesia, a condition affiliated with trauma.

I believed it was a coping mechanism. A shield your mind built to protect itself.

But my shield had crumbled.

There was no stopping it now.

Pictures flashed before my eyes. Memories I had tried so hard to forget.

~~

I am in a familiar small windowless room.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Alessandro." The man is about my father's age but he looks cruel and unforgiving.

It's like I'm watching a movie, a sick twisted movie, only it isn't a movie. It's an incident from my past. An incident that occurred thirteen years ago.

My eyes catch sight of the man standing beside Alessandro and my breath hitches.

Sebastian?

It can't be.

Sebastian would have been a teenager at that time, seventeen or eighteen at most, the man I am looking at seems to be in his twenties.

"This is my son Matteo." He gestures towards the young man I'd thought was Sebastian.

He looks so much like Sebastian. It's terrifying.

There is a movement that catches my attention.

And then my eyes meet the black eyes of the monster from my nightmares.

Lorenzo.

His cold black eyes turn to me and I shudder.

"What do we have here?" He walks towards us, taking slow deliberate steps. "So precious." He crouches down in front of me.

Suddenly the scene changes and Lorenzo isn't crouching in front of me anymore. Instead, he's aiming a gun at my bother Declan.

He shoots and I scream.

Declan's body slumps to the floor, blood pooling around him.

I want to close my eyes. I want to run.

But I can't.

I'm trapped in my own head being assaulted by memories from thirteen years ago.

The scene changes again.

And now I'm looking into Matteo's lifeless grey eyes as he lies motionless on the floor.

His eyes look so much like Sebastian's...

~~

My hands were braced against the wall when I finally regained my senses. My legs wobbled.

The light knocking on the door jolted me back to reality.

"Angelica?" Sebastian's soft voice called.

I could feel my throat closing up in panic.

I couldn't breathe.

I shoved the backpack back into the furthest corner of the closet and slammed it shut.

He knocked again, a little louder this time.

"I need a minute." I tried to keep my voice steady.

There was a pause. "Are you alright? Your voice sounds strained." He answered from the other side of the door, his voice filled with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." My hand pressed against my mouth. I suddenly felt nauseous.

"Then rest. Call for me if you need anything." He murmured. For a while, he didn't move. I could see the shadows of his feet through the slit under the door but finally, I heard the sound of his retreating footsteps and I exhaled.

Sebastian has no idea that I'm the daughter of the man who murdered his brother.

The man he wants to kill, the man he hates more than anyone in this world, I am his blood, his legacy.

The thoughts raced through my mind.

I was conflicted.

Should I tell Sebastian who I was?

Dread consumed me at the very thought but I pushed it down.

Sebastian would never hurt me.

He's a good man and he cares about me.

He's not like Riko or Lorenzo or Lucian. He would never harm me.

He deserves to know.

Now that I knew the truth, keeping it from him would be selfish and cruel.

My legs shook as I walked to the door that connected my room to his.

I knocked softly once and a few moments later the door flung open. It was so quick, almost like he was hovering near the door waiting for me to call him.

I blinked in surprise. Sebastian gave me an embarrassed look.

"Sorry for startling you, mia cara. You sounded like you were in pain when I asked earlier and I was worried. I wanted to make sure I heard you if you called for me so. . ." He trailed off gesturing towards the chair placed a few feet away from the door as an explanation.

I swallowed as I looked up at him. His face was pinched with worry. His eyes scanned my body almost desperately.

I heard him sigh. "Earlier, I lost control when I kissed you." His voice was strained, almost angry. "I pushed you against the wall, I didn't even think about your injury. I am so sorry." He hung his head in shame.

It took me a moment to realize that he was talking about my bullet wound. I'd almost forgotten about that.

I walked closer to him my hands moved up his neck to cup his jaw and raise his head to meet my gaze.

His grey eyes were tormented when they met mine. I rubbed my thumb across his jaw soothingly.

"I'm okay Sebastian. You didn't hurt me." I whispered.

The dullness from his eyes lightened a little and his shoulders loosened. He clasped one of my hands in his and brought it to his lips.

"I am glad." He murmured his breath warming the delicate skin of my wrist as he spoke making me shudder.

Focus Angelica.

Remember why you're here.

You need to tell him.

"So what did your uncle want to talk about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

I noticed how his expression hardened when I asked that question. He let go of my hand and stepped back, shoulders tense once again. "It's not something I wish to trouble you with." He murmured.

"You wouldn't be troubling me." I tipped my chin up to look at him.

He swallowed. "My uncle and Lucian were angry over the fact that I killed Tomasso when I should have brought him in to question him about the whereabouts of his boss. That is all."

"You're forgetting the part where they said that I was clouding your judgment," I added grimly.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You were listening?"

"Only a little," I admitted with a wry smile.

"You are not clouding my judgment, Angelica." Sebastian murmured. "If anything, you're making me see things clearer."

I tried to swallow down the growing lump in my throat.

"I can't believe that they think I've forgotten about Matteo's murder, about avenging his death." Sebastian's voice was bitter when he spoke.

My heart dropped to my stomach.

"Is it really that important to you, revenge?" I finally whispered.

"It is the only thing I have left." His eyes flashed when he spoke. His face filled with sheer determination.

"That's not true Sebastian," I said quietly. "You have me."

His gaze softened as he looked at me but he didn't say anything.

"Hate and the need for revenge shouldn't have so much power over you Sebastian. You can't be truly happy as long as you keep holding on to anger." I stepped closer to him, taking small deliberate steps. "Ugly emotions like vengeance and hate eat away at you from the inside, till you're only a shell of the person you used to be. Don't go down that road, you don't need to. You aren't alone anymore."

I noticed that his breathing had become shallow.

"I can't let go of it Angelica, it's a part of me. It's etched into my soul." He said quietly. His expression became colder all of a sudden. "The need to kill the man who murdered my brother runs in my blood. Carlos Vitale does not deserve to live."

I tried to suppress the shudder that threatened to run down my spine when he said my father's name with so much hatred.

"Don't you want to be happy?" I breathed.

"It's not about what I want, it's about justice." His grey eyes flashed with rage. "I want justice for Matteo, who was the only good person in this godforsaken family. I want justice for Ellie whose husband was taken from her. I want justice for Adrian who has to grow up without a father." Sebastian's whole body was shaking. "And I want justice for myself"

I felt like the blood in my veins had turned to ice.

Everything was slipping through my fingers. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless dark pit.

"What if I asked you to choose?" My heart thrashed wildly as I spoke the words aloud. "What if I asked you to choose between your desire for vengeance and me?"

He went so still I was sure he wasn't even breathing. His eyes were hard.

"Do not ask me to make that choice, mia cara." His voice grew hard.

"What if you had to make that choice, what would you do?" I asked. I hated how my voice wavered.

For a moment I saw something flicker in his eyes, an emotion.

Fear?

But it disappeared quickly.

"Sangue prima di tutto." He uttered the words softly but I felt like he had shoved a knife into my chest.

Blood before all.

My heart stuttered in my chest.

He wouldn't choose me.

I staggered back, my heart breaking. It was agonizing.

"I told you I would never lie to you." He said quietly. "I'm sorry mia cara. Please don't make me choose I can't-" His voice broke and his words died down.

He didn't finish the sentence but I heard it anyway.

I can't choose you.

Sebastian's hand reached for me but I shook my head, stopping him. I took a step back. His face fell, his whole body tensed like he was in pain.

I couldn't tell him who my father was. I had to leave before Sebastian or the others found out.

I needed to leave this place and pray to God that they never found me.

I practically ran back to the room.

I have to leave.

I can't stay here.

I'm the daughter of the man who murdered their family.

I started taking clothes out of the wardrobe and throwing them on the bed. I needed to pack as many clothes as I could to stay warm in this cold weather. I would need food too.

I yanked the bedside drawer open and my hands froze.

My eyes focused on the small teddy bear Sebastian had given me, the one wearing the chef's hat, the sorry note still pinned to its chest. I took it out with shaking hands. He had been lying right next to the stack of cookbooks that Sebastian had given me when I first came here.

My fingers brushed shakily and clasped the piece of paper lying in the corner of the drawer. My eyes filled with tears as I unfolded it.

"The only good thing this world has ever given me is you,

and you are so much more than I deserve."

I re-read the sweet note he had given me not long ago. I didn't bother stopping the tears trailing down my cheeks.

A sob ripped out of my chest.

How could I leave him?

How could someone leave the person they love?

I let out a humorless chuckle.

My fate had a sick and twisted sense of humor.

Why did Carlos Vitale have to be my father?

Why did I have to fall in love with the man who despised my blood so much?

I knew in my heart that I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave Sebastian. My life had become tethered to his. I cared too much about him.

The adjoining door suddenly burst open and Sebastian strode inside.

He took one look at me before scooping me up and sank to the floor with me in his arms. He clutched me against his chest tightly. I could hear his heart thundering in his chest.

"I may be selfish for asking you this but please don't leave." He murmured against my hair.

"Do not leave me, Angelica." His voice was strangled, and he sounded terrified.

His arms tightened around me like he was afraid I would disappear.

I tilted my head up to look at him.

He looked so lost.

My poor beautiful Sebastian.

He'd never had anyone care about him before. He didn't even know what love was.

My heart clenched in pain.

"I'm not leaving," I told him softly. My lips pressed against his throat.

I could feel his body sag with relief. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and took a shuddering breath, almost like he was inhaling me.

I couldn't leave this man.

Even if not leaving him meant my ruin.

I couldn't leave him.

~~

A/N:

I really want to know what you guys think about:

Angelica

&

Sebastian