"'The Sugar Plum Fairy?'"

I couldn't help it--I laughed. Hard. Not quietly. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I clutched my side, like I was trying to stop my muscles from hurting so badly.

I swear, William's cheeks had turned a bright red. He held is arms close to his body like he was cold. "I didn't tell you so you'd laugh!"

"How--" I gasped. "How can I not?  It's just so girly!"

"It is not! Did you come up with any creative names when you were five?" he uncrossed his arms and waved them around in the air, offended.

"When I was five, I was busy learning how to read, not coming up with names for non-existent fairies!" Another giggle climbed out of my chest. Sugar Plum Fairy. Who comes up with these things?

"C'mon, Clair. Give it a rest. The point is, the Su--" He stopped himself, seeing me crack another smile. "--lady is strong enough she could wipe you off the face of the earth because you laughed at her name."

"Ah, but there's a loophole. I didn't laugh at her name. I laughed at what you call her."

He shoved me. "Grow up," he laughed.

"Not gonna happen, 'fairy boy.'"

William crossed his arms. "Anyway, back to what I was saying before you laughed your head off at me--"

"Not you. The name. So, technically and by extension, you."

He ignored me. "--the cavaliers are strong, yes. That's why we're after them."

"That's why you're after them," I corrected. "I'm just here for my parents."

He cocked his head to the side. "Are you done yet?"

"Probably not. Just roll with it."

William sighed and crossed his arms over his chest like he was cold. "Each cavalier is like an emotion. The one from Arium is anger, the one from the Fiannu, which is the Zelgwyn one, is sadness. Carrielle has fear, Dulcia has disgust, and Luschon has joy. It's really, really weird," he added, seeing the look on my face.

"I noticed." My gaze trailed down to his hand. "So, we have anger and sadness?"

"Yeah. The muraes have the Dulcian cavalier."

"What about Carrielle and Luschon?"

Like he wasn't thinking, Will started to trace around the stone in his hand. "I have a friend who went to st--get Carrielle's cavalier."

Even though he cut himself off, it wasn't hard to hear "steal."

"You don't like taking from these people, do you?" I whispered.

William bowed his head. "I--I knew most of them," he muttered. "Before..." With one slow motion, he moved his hand from shoulder down, like he was pointing at himself. "Before this. I don't agree with stealing the stones, even though we need them. It's wrong."

A soft breeze blew into the mouth of the cave. I shivered. If temperature continued to drop, we'd be frozen before morning.

I placed my hand on the ground.

"Kaique."

A small fire started to burn in the middle of the stone floor. Will moved in, like he was warming himself.

I kept watching him, although he didn't move again. "What about murdering?" I asked quietly. "That's wrong too, but we've done it."

His eyes closed. I didn't even know they could do that.

"I don't count killing muraes. They aren't people." His voice was the hardest I'd ever heard. It was like he honestly did not care about them, even with what we learned from Elora.

I couldn't tell where I stood on the matter.

"Are they? Are they not people? They were before they were muraes. They were like us: living, breathing, human beings."

"They died, Clair." William took a deep breath. "They died, and now something has taken over their bodies. The people themselves--their soul--it's moved on. It's not in their bodies anymore."

"How do you know? How do you know there isn't some small piece of the person left inside them? How do you know if they are really dead? What if there's still a human in there?"

Bam!

I jumped, ready to bolt. William clenched and unclenched his fists, holding them to the floor where he had just slammed them down.

"They are dead, Clair! There's not even a whisper of who was there left!"

Heat rose to my face. I hadn't wanted an argument, just an answer. I wasn't against killing a murae in self-defense, but if I didn't have to, I  didn't want to. Nothing William had done told me what he would do when we got to all the cavaliers, and considering the muraes had one, we'd have to fight them again.

If he went off on a killing spree, I wouldn't be able to stop him.

And he couldn't become haunted by those he killed.

My father had killed many people. He told me as much. They were innocents, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Dad always said he was under the control of another being. He couldn't stop himself. It wasn't him. Even Mom said it.

It didn't stop Dad from remembering. It didn't stop his eyes from clouding over in grief every time he mentioned it. It didn't stop him from mouthing names to himself before he slept, counting all those who had died. It didn't stop him from blaming himself.

I couldn't--wouldn't--let that happen to William.

So, I met his shout with one of my own.

"How do you know?"

"BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS!"

He was on his feet, shaking all over. I stared him straight in the eyes.

I don't know when I stood.

I did know I pushed too far.

William rubbed his hand against the side of his head. "Because of my parents, alright? The muraes killed my parents."

What did I do? What the heck can't I shut up every now and then? Slowly, I lowered myself to the floor, hovering near the flames.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know."

He half-laughed. It died in the still air. "How could you? I haven't spoken of my life before this."

He sat beside me. The flames reflected off the surface of his eyes, flickering and fading.

"Do you know what the hardest part of being like this is? Of being wood, and having your soul attached to you?"

I didn't answer. Of course I didn't know.

"It's not what you'd think," Will laughed. "I don't miss food. I'm never hungry. Which is weird, because, before this, I was always hungry."

I smiled. Will laughed a little, but it faded away before it could really be called a laugh.

"It took a little time getting used to not feeling. Hot, cold, pain, touch--I can't feel any of that. My blood dried up in my veins, my heart turned to a small, hard block. I don't breathe. I have no need for air. I don't know how that works, but it does."

I turned away, knowing where he was going.

"I can't cry."

He spoke in no more than a breath of sound.

"As childish as it is, I just want to cry. To let it out. All this that's bottled up inside me, clawing away at nothingness, I want it out. And the one way to do that, it can't happen."

"I'm sorry," I said again, quietly.

William shook his head. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything. It doesn't help. What's done is done."

He looked at me, debating something. There was a small thud outside, like a combination of snow and rock had fallen from the top of the cave.

"My parents," Will started slowly, "were... higher-ups in the Dulcian society. We were at the castle when the muraes attacked."

He pulled his knees to his chest. "My mother was hurt before she came to warn us. A murae had stabbed or cut her stomach. She collapsed when she found me and Father. Father picked her up in his arms and we ran--ran down the hall and to a secret room. Father stayed outside to lure the muraes away, so Mother and I would live."

My mind raced back to Arium and the castle, back to Dad fighting the muraes. The only way he managed to live through that was what he had gone through before. I couldn't imagine someone who had been "higher up" in Dulcia surviving an attack.

"The muraes got past Father in a matter of minutes. Before they came into the room, Mother gave me the beads that made us shrink and grow, then she cast a spell. It turned me to wood. Then they snapped her neck."

I opened my mouth to speak, but William waved his hand. "Don't apologize. It doesn't make it better."

It really made my problems seem not-so-problematic, listening to Will.

Another thump came from outside, louder than the first.

It's just the wind.

"It turns out, the Murae Leader killed them. Remember when Raoul was hurt by their venom?"

I nodded.

"Well, the Leader's venom is much, much stronger than normal venom. It's faster acting. If your brother had died with the venom in his system, he'd have become a murae. The Leader's venom turns someone before they die. Mother had no hope. Her neck was snapped. But then, the Leader sliced her neck open. His venom acted immediately. Father turned while he was still alive."

Will got up. He went across the stone floor and took a deep breath. "That was the first time I shrank and grew. When Mother cast the spell, I turned small. I ate the first bead and was big again. I grew in just enough time to kill what my parents--" His voice cracked. "--kill what my parents had become. That's why there is nothing left of the person after they turn. Because if there is, I--I killed--"

"You killed the only hope for your parents to come back," I whispered. I didn't look at him, only stared straight into the flames. They swirled around, building something that looked almost like a screaming face, with the mouth wide open and gaping, the black emptiness sucking me straight into a never ending hole.

As quickly as it came, it went.

"That's why I can't believe the muraes have any echo of the person inside them. For me, it's not a question or a choice. They just can't."

"Will, what are you going to do after we finish this? After the Leader is dead? We'll have to kill him to get the cavalier--I'm sure of it. And how can we kill him if you've seen him twice and he died in one of those two times, yet still lives?"

"The Sugar Plum Fairy." He slowly turned his head to see my reaction.

I didn't laugh. I was just deadpan.

"I think she's the only thing that'll permanently kill him. Which means, we'll have to get the stone first. As for what'll happen after we beat him--I don't know. I guess we part ways. You live your life, I finish mine."

My chest tightened. "What do you mean, 'finish mine?' You're not going to die, are you?" My eyes widened. "No! I can't let you do that!"

He paused a moment, then put his hands out. "Whoa! I'm not going to..." He pulled a hand across his neck, then shook his head. "I'm not doing that! I have no urge to die. I like life."

I didn't calm down. "Then why did you say 'finish mine?'"

"I--I can't explain it. It's a feeling. I don't have much time left."

"What do you mean?"

There was another thud outside. They kept getting louder.

"Curly, I'm barely even thirteen." William looked like he was trying to smile. His eyes had a light in them I had rarely seen.

Then again, it may have been the fire.

"I want so much more life than thirteen years, three weeks on the earth. I haven't had enough time. I want to go travel to all the countries when I'm not trying to stop a war from rising. I want to learn music in Carrielle. I want to run around in the heat of Luschon's sun and let sand get under my feet in Zelgwyn. I want to climb Arium's mountains and touch the sky. I just--I know I can't. I'm not going to make it out of the battle with the muraes. I may not even last until that."

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came. William slowly walked toward the entrance of the cave, looking around. He turned back.

"Just think about it," he laughed. "Two little kids are the ones in charge of stopping a war from breaking out between the muraes and the countries! Us! We don't even clean our rooms, and now we have this responsibility thrust on our shoulders."

I smiled. The craziness of it all was enough to make me start to laugh. "This doesn't bode well, does it?"

He shook his head. "Not one bit."

Blam!

I jumped, summoning a fireball to my fingers. William was suddenly next to me, ready to attack.

From the dim light, a person appeared. He was tall, with pale skin and pitch black, oily hair slicked back, with only one strand hanging down at his forehead. He reached out, holding something light green in his hand. Scarlet stained his knuckles and slowly dripped to the floor, like little dots marking the way for something.

I held my hand higher. I knew him. He was the creepy vampyre guy from the corner. The one who gave Dad the cavalier. The one who made his eyes glow red.

The one who started the whole mess was barely standing at the mouth of the cave, half dead and frozen, holding a cavalier.

_____________________________________

I completely scrapped the outline for this chapter. It went up in flames.

Oh well!