✧ ʜ ᴇ ʟ ʟ ᴏ ,

ɪ   ʜ ᴏ ᴘ ᴇ   ʏ ᴏ ᴜ   ᴇ ɴ ᴊ ᴏ ʏ ! ✧

【Mild Trigger Warning: Mention of Murder】

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❝I hugged my ruins, and they etched themselves into me again.❞

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I was pushed to the ground, scraping my knees at the harsh contact. Strands of my hair spread across my forehead, shadowing my eyes and the pool of tears they were holding back.

"Don't you dare come back unless you have money. I want all the dues to be paid with an advance of the next two months or kiss this place goodbye, you pathetic scumbag." The land-lord hissed at my distraught figure on the ground.

I heard the sound of the door slamming shut, giving room for an unwanted silence to crawl in. Staring at my trembling hands, devoid of any color, pressed against the cold surface of the road, I wondered if they'd be able to hold onto anything anymore, but then— there wasn't much to let go.

I tried to focus on my ragged breathing, that apparently subtle sound now thrashing into my throbbing skull ruthlessly. My whole body ached, exhaustion oozing out of every limb I tried to move. 

I knew I was burning in fever, I knew I had no money for medicines or getting myself a place to stay in the middle of the night. The feeling of self-pity creeping in, caused a revolting feeling to settle in my chest.

The flickering sound of the street light broke the eerie silence like a wanted impurity. I looked up, an unintentional movement I paid no heed to, but soon regretted, when from the corner of my eye— I saw him.

My body went stiff, heartbeat pausing for a mere moment but enough to make me breathless.

There, a few feet away, stood an oh-so-familiar figure engulfed by the shadows of the night. I didn't even get the chance to give myself false hopes— I didn't even get the chance to call what i was seeing a mirage. 

The definite slap of reality hit me so hard, I couldn't breathe. 

There stood a person I had not expected to see again, especially not now— not when I was at my lowest.

He was a sight that painfully reminded me of a home I had long abandoned. 

He was dressed in an all-black outfit blending with the dark, the street lights reflected against his lean silhouette. The sight caused a familiar prickle to form behind my eyes.

I would've pretended to ignore his painful presence. I would've tried to walk away from the sudden strength that erupted from my need to get away from him. I would've done all that, if he hadn't started to walk towards me, momentarily freezing my ability to move.

His pace was fast but calculated at the same time.

A panic settled into my chest, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I began to gather rags of my belongings strewn on the ground around me. I unsteadily pulled myself up onto my feet, limping, as my legs felt like they would give up any second.

I turned around hastily, intending to run away but my own body betrayed me and I tripped. I closed my eyes and braced myself for another painful collision with the ground— but it never came.

I halted midway through my collapse, an unexpected gasp escaping my lips as I felt a strong grip on my upper arm.

It burned.

My eyes were glued to the floor, as uneven chunks of air escaped my lips, my mind still processing the events that occurred in the past few moments.

"Kaia, what happened-"

His voice struck my ears like a tsunami, flooding my mind with the memories I wanted to forget, I wanted to run away from. Memories that built a huge part of me— a part of myself that I now utterly loathed.

As if my senses heightened all of a sudden, I became all too aware of the person I was in close proximity with.

I snatched away my arm from his grip, staggering backwards, wanting to put as much distance between us as possible.

He stepped forward, "Kaia-"

"Don't touch me!" I lifted my hands in front of me, my blood-shot eyes looking into his honey-brown ones for the first time since the encounter.

"Stay away from me." I spoke, my voice trembling with urgency and repulsion.

"That's what I've been doing for two years." He spoke with a low voice giving nothing away and I hated that. I hated that I detected no emotion in his tone, no remorse— no pain.

I hated that after all this time, I'm a feeble mess and he's standing here, successfully escaping the karma of all that he has done.

I kept looking at those hooded eyes, unintentionally studying his face, the sight making my heartbeat palpitate its way up in the most painful way. 

Giving up, I turned my head, erasing him from my line of sight as a stinging sensation began to bubble up on the brim of my eyes. I am not going to cry.

I had nothing to say. I had no desire to bring the words on my tongue, that were the only remnants of the memories I wished to bury.

Inhaling a deep breath I accumulated every ounce of pride and strength left in me and began to walk away. Every step demanding extra effort as if stones were tied to my feet but I didn't dare stop.

"Where are you going?" His voice, with that painfully sweet octave, froze my feet again.

So much for the effort.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, breathing in deeply in an effort to ensure my voice comes out stable when I speak.

I didn't turn around, my back tingling from the idea of his gaze piercing through it.

"You lost the right to be concerned about me a long time ago."

"Saying that changes nothing."

Silence.

"Do you have somewhere to go?"

I almost snorted. I was pathetic and he knew that. Pain and anger filled me. Swallowing a painful lump in my throat, I turned around.

"How dare you? How even dare you? You think you can appear in my life again out of nowhere and act like you care about me. You must be gloating in the fact that you found me vulnerable, that you can rub my pathetic condition in my face. Feeling euphoric, aren't you?

"I don't need you or my father or anyone as a matter of fact. Leave me alone. Do you understand? Go and be that man's pet like you've been all your life. Let me feed your sadism and beg you. Please just leave, just go away. Please." I choked out.

The crack in my voice at the end gave me away and I felt my vision go blurry.

"You know I can't do that right now." His glassy eyes— shadowed by his black hair, were hard as stone and his jaw was clenched, as if he was trying to hold something back. 

I was looking into an emotionless face and it made me want to throw up.

"You don't get to decide that. You can and you will. I don't want to see your face, reminds me of all that you've done. It pains me— no! Don't come close to me, stay away!" I spluttered as he took a few steps forward.

"I've been trying to forget and move on. You can't come back and throw all my effort into waste. You've ruined me enough. You can't come back Jimin..." My voice waned towards the end.

My head started to get dizzy as I slowly began to lose grip on my surroundings. Soon, I felt myself falling, heading downwards, unable to save myself.

The last few things I vaguely registered was the feeling of the cool ground beneath me, Jimin's arms cradling my upper body as his face hovered above mine, while a few words escaped my mouth in a hushed whisper.

"It hurts me so much, to look at you and— only see a murderer." A tiny wave of emotion finally crossed his eyes.

I would call the emotion pain, but before I could be sure and engrave the memory to my mind, everything swayed into a haunting darkness.

And all I could feel was black,

Before I could feel nothing.

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I hope you guys enjoyed. Feedback would be appreciated!

Take care!

~jia