"Baubles! Orientation! Pinocchio!"

Percy wanted to kick the Fat Lady's frame in frustration. He'd named every password he could remember in all his time at Hogwarts (which, to be honest, was only about seven, and he'd made up four of them). Everyone else had gone into the tower already, sent through the Floo network just minutes ahead, but a pee break at the Burrow had left him behind.

"C'mon, you know me," he said crossly to the portrait.

The Fat Lady squinted through the fog of her hangover. "Harry already inside," she said. "So you are impersonator. Polyjuice potion or a bad disguise, neep!"

Percy scoffed. "I am much better looking than Harry, thank you very much."

"Percy!— Here, I've got the password," said Neville as he breathlessly appeared behind Percy. He huffed for a moment, hands on his knees, apparently thinking hard.

"Neville, don't strain yourself," said Percy in concern.

"No, I've got it... Oh, yeah! Abstinence!"

"Precisely," said the Fat Lady, swinging open.

The two clambered into the common room, which was alight with scarlet, gold, and activity. However, there was a distinct lack of blonde beauty among the heads (and Jason and Thalia and Nico but they could be found later).

"Hey, Neville, d'you know where everyone else is?" Percy asked, but Neville had already vanished.

Mildly frustrated, Percy decided to sleep away the five minutes of separation anxiety.

He awoke the next morning with Annabeth sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Good morning, Seaweed Brain," she said, awakening Seamus from across the room who evidently mixed the nickname with his own name, sat up and hit his head on the bedpost, and reacted violently to the sight of a female within the near-ish vicinity of his Gryffindor pajamas.

"Wise Girl," said Percy. His back made the sound of a crunchy leaf being stepped on. "Where were you last night?"

"Dumbledore's office," replied Annabeth, whacking Percy with a pillow to wake him up faster. "He told us to meet him, remember?"

"No," said Percy.

"Evidently. Well, it was just a quick checkup. Asked us about Christmas, all that. Shared some biscuits he'd gotten from McGonagall for Christmas."

"What?" whined Percy. "No! I missed it?"

"Yep." Annabeth gave Percy a quick peck (on the forehead (thankfully, as he hadn't brushed his teeth yet)). "But don't worry, I saved you some."

"Really?"

"Yep. They're at your first class."

Percy sulked as he dragged himself out of bed. Hogwarts really needed a thorough heating system, he thought. Maybe they could use the old pipes the Basilisk abandoned, since they apparently stretched through every corner of the castle.

The shift back to school did not bode well with most students. To be quite honest, Percy had forgotten all about — well, everything. They left Transfiguration with heaping amounts of homework and heavy disappointment from McGonagall. Luckily, Hagrid allowed them to do their homework during Care of Magical Creatures (Although Percy suspected Hagrid had simply forgotten about lessons as well). The snow was cold but a quick bout of charms cast a waterproof blanket and a small campfire just in front of Hagrid's hut, which served as a pleasant workspace.

And the day wasn't all bad. Annabeth really did give Percy the biscuits she'd saved from Dumbledore's office.

"You know what," said Thalia as she and Percy trudged through the snow. "I don't think peanut butter has real butter in it."

They were ditching Charms with the solid excuse of doing a quick monster check around the perimeter. Percy stopped trying to balance his wand on the tip of his finger to ponder her statement.

"Well, why do they call it peanut butter, then?"

"I dunno, the consistency? The texture? The taste?"

"Wait, I swear someone told me peanut butter is from peanut milk, when cows graze on peanut leaves instead of regular grass?"

A suit of armor turned to stare at Percy judgmentally. They'd stepped back into the castle, Thalia soaked from the knee-down from the snow and Percy perfectly dry. She shrank her bow and slipped it around her finger like a ring, twisting it thoughtfully.

"Percy, are you high?"

"Why would I ever get high," asked Percy, clearly affronted. "Zeus would kill me."

A group of third-year Hufflepuffs turned the corner and the two quieted down. Percy didn't recognize anyone (although he was certain Nico would be able to name them all), and was caught quite by surprise when one of them, evidently the most extroverted, turned away from the whispering of the rest of the group to smile and wave at him and Thalia.

They waved back. When the group was safely out of earshot, Percy whispered, "do you know them?"

"Nope," answered Thalia.

They settled to ask Will at potions. Slughorn's lesson plan, inherently so convoluted in nature only Hermione could really understand it, kept them relatively occupied, but by the end of the class, Percy had learned two valuable details: One, that he wasn't able to separate each ingredient of a potion and find an antidote for each one through sheer dipping-his-ginger-into-the-cauldron, and Two, Frank and Hazel had apparently befriended every Hufflepuff in Hogwarts while dragging Will and Nico into social interaction.

"How do they know us, though?" Percy asked Nico as they shuffled, flushed and sweating, out of the humid potions classroom.

Nico shrugged. "Ah, you know."

Percy didn't know.

The common room was bubbling with life again, almost equal to the liveliness of the Burrow over Christmas break.

"What's all this?" Percy asked Jason.

"Apparition lessons," said Jason, glancing at Percy in his peripheral view. "It was posted this morning, how've you not noticed everyone talking about it?"

Percy shrugged and stood on his tippy-toes to read through the crowd of heads. The words were slightly foggy; he'd have to ask Annabeth to recast the anti-dyslexia charm on the contact lenses.

APPARITION LESSONS
If you are seventeen years of age, or will turn seventeen on or before the 31st August next, you are emerald for a twelve-week course of Apparition Lessons from a Ministry of Magic Apparition instrument. Please sign below if you would like to participate.
Cost: 12 gallons.

"Twelve gallons of what?" he wondered, but signed his name anyway.

The weather was awful so the lessons were in the Great Hall, but thankfully, the rain did not seem to deter the ventilation system that was in dire need with the collection of body odor that inevitably followed any grouping of sixteen year olds.

"Good morning," said the Ministry wizard, when all the students had arrived and the Heads of Houses had called for quiet. "My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall be your Ministry Apparition instructor for the next twelve weeks. I hope to be able to prepare you for your Apparition Tests in this time —"

"Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!" barked Professor McGonagall.

Everybody looked around. Malfoy had flushed a dull pink; he looked furious as he stepped away from Crabbe, with whom he appeared to have been having a whispered argument. Percy looked around for Piper, but she was standing between Blaise and Pansy and listening interestedly to the Ministry speaker.

"— by which time, many of you may be ready to take your tests," Twycross continued, as though there had been no interruption.

"As you may know, it is usually impossible to Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts. The headmaster has lifted this enchantment, purely within the Great Hall, for one hour, so as to enable you to practice. May I emphasize that you will not be able to Apparate outside the walls of this Hall, and that you would be unwise to try. I would like each of you to place yourselves now so that you have a clear five feet of space in front of you."

This proceeded with much scrambling, chatter, and general chaos.

"Five feet?" exclaimed Lavender Brown nearby. "Won-won..."

Percy decided to find another space.

Eventually everyone quieted down and a wooden hula-hoop appeared in front of each student.

"The important things to remember when Apparating are the three D's!" said Twycross. "Destination, Determination, Deliberation!"

Wondering why on earth there were so many syllables, Percy fixed his eyes on his hoop and followed the instructions.

"Now, when I give the command," said Twycross. "Turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! On my command, now... one... two... three!"

It was like a herd of baby deer all tried to dance at the same time. Bodies crashed into each other, the walls, and the floor. Neville had fallen flat on his back. Disoriented, Percy stabilized himself on the nearest surface he could find which he thought was a wall but unfortunately was the back of Snape's robes.

By the end of the day, the only relatively successful attempt was Susan Bones, with the exception of her left leg.

>>>•Nico•<<<

The portrait to the common room swung open, disrupting the peace and quiet. Nico looked up from his supervision of Bianca playing with the fourth years dangerously close to the fire to see Harry and Ron shove past everything and sprint up to the boys dormitories, the rest of the Gryffindor lagging behind.

"—Absolute mess," Annabeth was laughing. "Can you imagine having your leg pop off?"

"Why weren't you there, Nico?" asked Neville.

Nico shrugged. "Didn't feel like it," he said. "Hey—"

The fourth year, Evelyn, who had been Wingardium-Leviosa-ing an owl feather above Bianca's head had sneezed and accidentally sent the feather into the fireplace. Bianca took a massive leap but Nico quickly caught her.

"Oh, no, I'm so sorry!" squeaked Evelyn. Nico sighed and glanced at Bianca, who was purring in his arms seemingly unperturbed at her near-death experience.

"She's fine," he said. "Be careful next time. What?"

He directed the question to Jason, who was looking at him weirdly.

"Nothing," said the blond, male Thalia. "C'mon, it's our turn to do a lap."

Nico groaned and let Bianca spring from his arms, then straightened up.

"Alright," he said. "Let me pee first."

Jan. 24, 2023- hiatus for [redacted]. Sorry fellas I love all of you so much for reading this far <3