Abirami 🐇

Sei la ragoine del mio sorriso. (You are the reason for my smile.)

Dev blinks like a lost puppy, trying to comprehend the context of my claim.

"Ms. Abirami, you can't do this. Already, I am a goner with respect to Bangla, and now you are talking in some off-the-wall language. I think you can test your literary fluency with Rithvik. He's the best lab rat, trust me." He lets out a hilarious whine and grumbles when I repeat the sentence.

Teasing him is fun.

Dev, with his ever-famous poker face, tries his best to get the meaning, and honestly, he looks the cutest.

"Ah ki mishti dekhte." (How cute you look.)

I coo, running my fingers over his soft hair, earning another grumble from him. A young, smart, and successful businessman is now sitting like a poor boy, letting out the expression of solving a complex mathematics problem.

"Abi Pattu, what did you say now? Sollen, please." I couldn't resist his puppy face and settled next to him, laying my head on his shoulder. He quickly wrapped his arm around me, offering comfort.

"Okay, I'll translate the second sentence I said to you. It means, How cute you look." He was pleased to hear the meaning and grinned merrily, tucking me closer to him.

"What about the first one?" He queried like an excited kid.

"That's for you to interpret, Mr. Obhodro." He grumbled for the third time, pulling his nose. I laughed at his face, triggering him a little.

"Not funny, bunny." He scrunched like a cranky child, faking displeasure.

"Funny, bunny. Kavithai kavithai." I patted his arm in appreciation, to which he swat my hand and turned away, refusing to show his face.

I held his face, forcing him to look at mine, and enacted some comical expressions, eliciting waves of laughter from the sweet Obhodro. He has an innate charm that can trap anyone easily.

He's an invaluable treasure.

His phone rang, and I let him talk without disturbance, walking to the window sill. I saw the blazing sun, brightening up the day, and let out a silent prayer, thanking him for blessing me with the kindest humans.

Aadarsh dada and Yazhini have gone to freshen up while his parents, well, they are my parents too, were on wheels cooking a grand sumptuous meal. Aadarsh dada was fond of home-made food and would come home even amidst important meetings to grab a morsel from Indhu amma's hands.

While people from the upper echelon are accustomed to fancy restaurants, I have my brothers and Dev fighting for the curd rice and potato fry being made at home. And, ever since I started staying with them, Indhu amma, Vishwa appa, Neel maama, and Shambavi aththai would feed me first, sidelining their sons.

I am the pampered child now. Even my own mother hasn't showered this much love that I am receiving from Shambavi aththai and Indhu amma.

I am forever grateful to Neelakandan maama, who fondly asked me to address them as maama and aththai instead of the usual uncle and aunt.

Although I hesitated, once I started calling them as such, I felt myself being a part of the family. Aadarsh dada's parents became mine, and I feel like my appa has sent them to me to chase away all the pain I have been enduring since his demise.

Talking of my appa, I got reminded of the fact that Unicorn had addressed Aadarsh dada as appa and also walked for the first time without support. She definitely has given the best birthday gifts to dada, in fact to all of us.

One glance at the happiest Aadarsh dada is what we wished for, and we saw him with a gaiety and blissful spirit today.

Yazhini has indeed saved his mental health, conferring on him the best title he could ask for.

Appa.

Aadarsh dada was yearning to proclaim to the world that he was Yazhini's father, but the circumstances halted his actions, landing him in a painful melancholy of uncertainty and hopelessness.

After our arrival in New York, some days later, I heard him crying loudly and quickly messaged Dev to come. He came in no time, and we heard Aadarsh dada talking to a sleeping Yazhini, expressing his wish that only she must acknowledge him as her father, which would stop all of us from making the claim. He has cried oceans for long and left a while later, lifting her in his arms as if nothing happened.

Dev and I were devastated, witnessing him crying like a child, and we vowed to make him happy.

Yazhini, being a smart observer and listener, would grab up anything we said with ease, and even though she couldn't reply in a literal language, her gibberish assertions were proof that she could at least implore the emotions around her.

Trusting this fact, me and Dev took various opportunities to make her say, "appa." Most of the time, Aadarsh dada used to be with Yazhini, making it hard for us to carry on, but as if the universe understood our plight, we had ample situations, giving us the time to teach her.

We used to take Yazhini for walks on a stroller when Aadarsh dada was caught up with work and point out his picture to Yazhini, appealing her to call appa. Initially, she used to burst with joy, peeking at her father's face, and paid no heed to our words.

If she was in a waspish mood, she would just scream, dismissing our words.

We knew she was too young, but we didn't have a choice. Aadarsh dada started hiding his feelings, even from Indhu amma, and started losing hope. He himself knew it was too early, yet his yearning side was troubling and activating the negative thoughts.

We waited patiently, and by her seventh month, she was attentive to the word and used to gaze at us sincerely, trying to grab the word.

The best moment was just a week ago, when she almost tried to spill out the word. We were very sure of making her say it; however, we didn't expect her to say it this soon and that through on Aadarsh dada's birthday.

Like a cherry on top, she took her first steps today, landing him in a state of immeasurable happiness.

He wasn't this jubilant even when he cracked a rock and a hard place deals and earned crores at a very young age, but today he looks like the happiest human on planet.

"Abirami." I turned back, hearing Dev, and ran in his direction, jumping on him. He was shocked but nevertheless held me safely, twirling a round.

"What is this sudden adrenaline rush? What made my Abirami happy?" Dev queried in glee.

"Yazhini called dada appa, and she also took her first steps today. Didn't we wish for this, Dev?" He hugged me the tightest in elation. Aadarsh dada was his everything, and witnessing him live happily is what he wished for.

Well, that's my wish too, or, in better words, our wish.

"All because of you, Abirami. It's you who informed me about his state, and on your idea, we tried making Yazhini speak. And Boss Baby called him on the best day possible. Aadarsh is swooned by joy now." As much as dada is happy, Dev is equally emotional and happy for his cousin-best friend.

I cracked my knuckles inwardly of them and lowered myself to the ground when the door opened, revealing the whole family.

"What is the birthday girl up to?" Vishwa pa implored, and I ran in his direction, hugging him tight. He's a special person, and I had some sort of invisible connection with him.

"I have got something for you." Appa declared and, along with Indhu amma, handed over a parcel. Aadarsh dada cleared his throat, faking annoyance.

"Well, I have also got something for you, Abi. Yazhini ma, aththaikitta gift kudukkalama?"
Yazhini bobbed her head as if she understood him, and together, they handed me a parcel.

"Neel, namma gift enga?" Shambavi aththai and Neel maama handed over a parcel.

They are spoiling me with love.

I looked at Dev, who was leisurely standing there, tying his arms around his chest.

"Yen da, nee edhuvum tharalaya?" Indhu amma asked Dev, and my mouth hung open when he pulled a huge trolley and opened it, revealing dresses, accessories, electronic gadgets, novels by my favourite authors, and much more.

"Yen da, sandai potute iruppiye ippo enna ivlo paasam?" Neel maama asked him amusedly, to which Dev shrugged, replying, "Now, she's my everything."

My heart swelled with happiness hearing him out, and I beamed at him thankfully. He acted like he was hitting me for that expression, to which I laughed hard.

"Open pannu Abi ma, let's see what the gifts are." I nodded at Shambavi Aththai and opened the parcels of Vishwa appa and Indhu amma.

I gasped in surprise, as a majestic Kanchipuram saree was right in front of me, beaming with pride. A heavy worked choker was there along with the saree.

My parents waited for my reaction like restless toddlers.

A dark green saree with a puffed red blouse. Again, I was surprised to see the blouse stitched already.

"Do you remember? We took your measurements after stating some invalid reasons some days ago. Athu idhukku thaan."

Indhu amma declared like a baby, or, in better words, spoke out exactly like Aadarsh dada.

"Thank you so much, amma appa." Vishwa pa glared, and I held my ear, apologising.

"Love you pa, love you ma." I received forehead kisses from my parents, my eyes spilling some tears.

Next, I opened the gift from Aadarsh dada, and to my surprise, he had brought a typical Bengali handloom saree with matching accessories. Wait! They are gold, again.

"I know you are fond of handloom sarees, but I didn't want to just gift you that athaan matching jewellery, um vaangiten da. I hope you like it."

"Anna, romba costly na idhu." He shut me off quickly. "Atha pathi nee yen kekura?? Aren't you my sister? If me buying jewellery for amma, akka, aththai, and Yazhini is not a problem, appo yen thangaikku vaangi tharadhula enna irukku?"

"Dada," I cried horribly, visibly shaken by his love, and he gave me a consoling embrace.

"Paapa, paaren aththai azharanga. Azha venaam nu sollu da ma." Yazhini bobbed her head to Aadarsh dada's words and patted, or, to be precise, hit, my head to offer solace.

Indeed, she's a periya manushi.

Aadarsh dada wished me once again, and then I opened the final parcel, to be greeted by three heavily embroided salwar suits, again fully stitched, and a pair of golden anklets.

I looked up at Shambhavi aththai, who shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, you love salwar suits, and I always wanted to gift you a pair of golden anklets, athaan."

Am I worthy of all these gifts? I asked myself.

Why are these people so affectionate towards me?

"Abirami, we'll leave. Get ready for the day. Dei Dev, we are going on a cartoon date with our Boss baby in the afternoon. Aprom enna nu decide pannikalam." Aadarsh Dada declared and walked away, ushering out our family as well.

Dev was looking at the trunk filled with gifts, and if I'm not mistaken, I'll have to spend a whole day unwrapping everything inside it.

"Get ready, pattu. I'll be waiting outside." Dev walked to the door but stopped as I called out his name.

"Dev, all of you have given such expensive gifts. I am not worthy of them. I wanted love, and I have it in plenty now. Enakku idhu ellam venaame." He shook his head and came back, patting my head affectionately.

"It's your wish to either accept or reject them, but by all means, you are worthy of all the luxuries bestowed on you.

I am saying this again. None of us are actually bothered by your past. In fact, there is nothing to be bothered about. It might be hard for you to accept; nevertheless, remember, this is your life."

I exhaled, unable to accept everything. I am in no way related to them, and accepting all these luxuries sounds odd. Already, I am being a burden to them, and now this is adding to the guilt I already have.

"Dev, I am just an apprentice. Your parents have decided to financially aid me as a token of appreciation. I am so grateful for being treated as a part of the family. Aana adhukkaga ellathayum vaangikka mudiyadhu la?

Erkanave naa inga stay pandrathe enakku kashtama irukku, I'm being a burden to you people financially."

He gazed with dull eyes, and it pricked my heart.

"Unakku enna thonudho atha sei." He smiled, patting my cheek, and left the room.

I know he's angry, and I cursed myself for spoiling his mood.

But am I wrong? I really don't know. I am not related to them, and enjoying everything under their roof seems weird and odd. I am more than happy to receive the care and affection from these lovely people. But I am not blood-related to enjoy the materialistic richness.

I don't deserve them.

--------

After having a fresh bath, I put on my regular clothes, planning to politely reject the expensive gifts offered by my beloved family.

I know they'll be hurt, but my rational self felt the need to kindly avoid it, and in the future, I don't want anyone to point fingers for using up someone's wealth.

Dev must probably be in Aadarsh dada's room, and I went there, looking at the door. It wasn't locked, and I opened it lightly to see Dev and dada talking about something while Yazhini was playing with the two, talking in her own dialect.

"Thangachi apdiya da sonna?" Aadarsh dada asked, to which Dev sighed, pulling his nose. That was one of his mechanisms to control the anger, or maybe the pain too.

"Yes, and I really don't know how our family will react, Aadarsh. I knew how much time and effort our parents took to choose gifts for her. Ava soldrathu pola avanga avala baarama paathu irundha idhu ellam seivangala?

Othukkuren, she might take time to get used to this, but why can't she get the fact that we look at her as our own? It seems like we have finally gotten what we lost for so long. I don't know about you all, but I feel the same."

Dev held Yazhini's feet, playing with her minion toes.

He and dada-well, all the men in our family look the cutest with babies. Their inner child peaks out, displaying their carefree self to the world.

Our happy-go-lucky men.

"Kutty ma, un maama romba polamburaan. Naama aththaiya dishum dishum pannalama?" Aadarsh dada extended his fisted palm in front of Yazhini, to which she immediately held his fisted palm, as if she's signing up for the deal.

I couldn't stop laughing when the two of them were plotting different ideas to convince me, and Yazhini was the active extra participant, ordering her appa and maama in her very own language.

I left the place with mixed feelings, one asking me to make them happy by accepting the gifts while the other asking me to politely deny them.

I came back to my room, completely confused, and after looking at the gifts, I sat down quietly, trying to come to a conclusion.

"Abi ma," I stood up in glee as Vishwa pa entered the room with a juice.

Oh God! He cares for me as if I were his biological daughter. He's not exactly replacing my beloved dad, but I am not deprived of dad's love, thanks to Vishwa Appa.

"Paa, naane vandhu iruppene. Neenga yen pa eduthutu varinga?" He handed over the glass, asking me to drink it. I gulped it in a go and sat next to him. I laid my head on his lap, as I really wanted to.

"It seems like my daughter is actively overthinking about her life. Is that true, sweetheart?" I gulped in response, trying to avoid the question.

"Neel might have appointed you as an apprentice to learn business after looking at your academic records, but trust me, he won't be the same with everyone. He'll help, for sure, but what he showers on you is pure love, Abirami. Shambavi is no less.

They find something in you, so do I and Indhumathi. I have three children, with the first two being in their own league and the last one being super attached to us. Unfortunately, I couldn't spend more time with my family owing to my business.

Not to forget, even after everything, I had time for my wife. After all, she's my life."

I smiled at appa and felt the happiest, witnessing his love for Indhu amma.

"Akshay and Priya distanced themselves to carry on with their professional lives. They had no ill intentions, but somewhere around, they are disappointed with us too. We had a tough life during the late 90s, Abi ma.

Enga vaazhkaiya poratti podra maari sambavangal. Aadarsh and Dev were literally babies of age five, and handling them along with the issue was tiresome.

Finding it the best, we decided to send Akshay and Priya to London to peacefully let them study. We also tried to send Aadarsh and Dev, but they were mother-dotting lads, making it impossible to send them away.

Ippovum paaren ammanga pinnadiye nippanunga rendu perum."

Appa squinted his eyes, faking disappointment as I laughed at his antics.

"Apart from all that, our sons never loved me and Neel less. It's just that we were occupied with business and stress.

Andha time la Aadhu, Dev ellam romba edho ezhandha maari iruppanga. Indhu and Shambhavi fought, and Shambavi decided to cut ties with us and shift to Canada.

As much as Dev loved Shambavi, he also loved Indhu and Aadarsh. It's like the four of them were a team, carrying out friendship and relationships in a happy bubble.

Until I broke the family."

Appa removed his spectacles, wiping away a tear that trickled from his eye. I quickly got up and rubbed the running tears, wincing at his wailing.

God! I cannot see him in tears. It feels as if something is ripping me apart.

Appa smiled timidly, continuing, "I can justify my mistakes but cannot reverse the consequences, right? Our women didn't speak for two straight decades, and one satisfying point was that Aadarsh and Dev remained the same. In fact, they were the threads that held up our broken selves.

I eventually apologised to Neel, who graciously accepted it and embraced me. But Shambavi took a long time, and Indhu was guilty that she couldn't support her brother."

He put his spectacles back, trying to smile.

"Aana anaikki Indhu irundha nelamaikku ava pozhachadhe perusu Abirami. Had it not been for Aadarsh, she wouldn't be alive now.

She's right. Aadarsh is her everything, after me."

His eyes gleamed with pride and love as he talked about Aadarsh dada.

To be honest, Aadarsh dada must be one of the luckiest men to be pampered by the whole family. Usually girls receive the princess treatment, but here, Aadarsh dada is the ideal prince, living the best of his life.

And with Yazhini added up, he has so many people adoring and loving him like nobody else.

I should ask Indhu amma to ward off evil eyes from our dearest prince.

"It's Aadarsh who restored my Indhumathi, and it's Indhumathi who made Aadarsh literally forget the lonely days. Babies might not remember everything, but somewhere around, the childhood trauma will keep hanging around them.

Yet when it comes to Aadarsh and Dev, their mothers took on the sheer responsibility of making them forget those fateful days and bringing out the chirpiest versions of our boys.

Unakku theriyuma ma? We didn't even celebrate their birthdays for straight three years from 1991 to 2001."

I was lost in thought, hearing him out. What must have happened in those years for my family to suffer this much? Why was the Supreme One cruel with these kind hearts?

"Naa idhu ellam yen sollitu irukken theriyuma? Indhumathi healed, Shambhavi healed, Neel healed, and Aadarsh and Dev became merrier, but one minute factor was still missing.

Maybe our boys didn't face that much pain, but our women did feel it. Ippo kooda, they have something like a burden in their hearts.

Aana ellathayum marandhu avanga sirikkiranga na, adhu unkooda irukkum podhu thaan, Abirami."

Shock would be an understatement, and I had to stop myself from becoming a mess. I had my mother claiming all the while that I was the reason for their destruction, and here comes Vishwa appa, making a wholly opposite claim.

"They feel complete. Our sons feel complete. Neel feels complete. So do I.

In fact, it's like you are my remedy. A medicine for the deepest and darkest scar I have. I can never differentiate between you and Priya.

I don't know if I am right or wrong in saying this, but in one corner, I realised that I love you more than my children. Till I saw you, it was Aadarsh who was my precious son, but now it's you and him, my precious daughter and son."

I broke down in his arms, holding his palms to my eyes.

What good endeavours had I done to achieve this much love from someone who's least expected?

All my birthdays were gloomy, and after my father's demise, it became painful as hell. I used to cry the whole day, not having anyone to wish me or at least ask me to have food.

Whereas this birthday is just the stark opposite of my tragic ones, and even now I am crying.

Crying out of beatitude and gratefulness.

Appa gently wiped away my tears, urging me to smile.

"Aadarsh avlo santhoshama irundhum, wasn't he a different guy after Yazhini? Despite us doing everything, didn't he break down like a child, yearning to be accepted by her?

Dev, your beloved frenemy, who took pleasure in fighting with you, didn't he cry oceans watching you in the ICU?

Naanga irundhum pasanga ungala yen ma thedranga?

Being happy is different, but the state of completeness is a whole different concept, Abirami."

Appa is so right; they are different.

"I am not sure of my children's future, but I can speak for the four of us. Vishwanathan's family is complete after you came into our lives, so as Neel's family.

They have got a niece, while I have my youngest daughter right now in front of me."

I was overwhelmed with his words, thanking God for the infinite time who showed mercy on me finally.

I complete Vishwanathan's family. This statement is huge.

"Vishwa and Indhu are complete now, with their four children happy, hale, and healthy. Dev, being my additional and affectionate lucky charm, adds to the list, making it five.

And we would do anything, literally anything, to keep you five safe."

Appa caressed my head, with his eyes exhibiting some unsaid emotions.

"I know you are happy with us, but what stops you from accepting us, is my question, ma?

Our wealth, is it? Your brother and Dev will be ready to write down all their wealth on you; try if you can.

Sometimes, relationships are beyond blood, Abirami. That's what I believe."

"Appa, won't I be a burden to you? What if I bring disgrace to you?" I asked him genuinely, terrified of my late mother's and her family's words.

"Will Aadarsh or Dev put us down?" Appa asked calmly, shocking me.

There is no way my Aadarsh dada and my sweet Obhodro would do this.

"Vaaipe illai, appa." I stated it firmly in confidence. My men won't do that.

"Appo nee ketta kelvikkum athe badhil thaan, Abirami. You can never do something like that.

That's how I trust you; we trust you.

When we gifted them to you, all of us noticed your hesitation in accepting them. The choice is yours, and we would never compel you, but remember, you have a whole army ready to serve you anytime."

He kissed my forehead and whispered a happy birthday again, as if I were a small child.

"Appa," I whimpered at him, to which he promptly replied, "Unna vitra maattom, Abirami. Engala nambu."

He took the glass and walked out.

I sat still, absorbing all that he said.

Unna vitra maattom Abirami. Engala nambu

Will I get this until my last breath?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey peeps! Here is the next chapter. I'll be updating the tenth chapter too today. There will be a leap again before the leads meet.

You might find it lagging but trust me, this is the base that I had planned. I have to keep things clear, so kindly bear it. The delay will be worth waiting for *fingers crossed.*

I am suffering from various mental breakdowns that's halting my writing. Sorry for that.

Hope you liked the chapter.

Love you all.

Anbudan,
Mrinalini 💗