Aadarsh 🔆

I am in love.

I lost myself to her the moment my humble eyes laid on her seraphic face. She neither raised weapons nor commanded instructions; just a glance was more than enough to surrender on her baby feet. 

I am doomed, in the most exceptional way possible. 

She easily became the purpose of my existence, overshadowing the list of my favourite humans. 

Will I ever meet a human in the future who can trespass her level? I have no clue. 

Right now, we are heading to the beach, and as I said, I'll be singing a song to my little woman. I am praying to all the deities to perform at least at an average level, saving her eardrums and mood from becoming sour. 

An enthusiastic melomaniac, she has amazing and undivided attention when it comes to music. 

While naming her "Yazhini," I never knew that she would have this much fascination for the art. 

My baby's name meant the music of the yazh, a musical instrument most popular during the Sangam age. 

I had plenty of options while naming her, but it felt like I had put my heart and soul into this name, and nothing felt more touching than this name. 

It's like she was born to be bestowed with that name. 

In the future, if she is interested, I would definitely encourage her to learn music, both vocal and playing instruments. 

My baby can ace anything. After all, she's mine. 

I am driving the car, with my periya manushi leisurely leaning on my abdomen, clutching the fabric of my shirt. I have secured her in the baby carrier belt and loosely wrapped the seat belt around her as well, to keep her safe from the jerks, in case I encounter any road bumps while driving. 

It was my amma who named her periya manushi, as the way she carried herself felt like she had inherited all the knowledge from her previous life, for at times she never behaved like a ten-month-old. 

Her demeanour screamed maturity and innocence, both in one. 

I might be dramatic to talk too highly of her at this age itself. But trust me, my judgements won't go wrong easily.

Yazhini is not the ten-month-old baby you see; she's something more. 

A beautiful, inexplicable tot of mankind. 

Yen azhagi.

She tugged on my shirt, trying to gain my attention. 

"You have my attention for life, Kutty ma." I mumbled, and she bobbed her head, as if she understood every single syllable I uttered. 

Well, her soul must have perceived what I said, and her heart must have decoded my emotions, which resulted in her action. Call me stupid; I don't care. I always feel like she understands me inside and out. 

There is nothing sane and logical when it comes to love. Love is beyond explanation. The idea of understanding someone is not only through words and actions; sometimes it's beyond our cranal capacity, and I firmly believe in this fact. 

"Yes, little Missy?" I ticked her nose, growling like a wild animal, and chortled when she tried imitating my sound. 

"My dear tiny cub, I love you." Placing a quick kiss on her head, I stopped the car as we had reached the beach. I removed the seat belt, and her dwarfish palm grabbed the bracelet quickly. 

Her aththai had gifted me this as a present for my birthday. Abirami has literally hand-made the silver bracelet, engraving my name on the dorsal side, guarded by stars on either side. She had a flair for ornament-making, and I and Dev have planned to encourage her on this path, which can establish her identity in a new dimension. 

Abirami also gifted me a double-shaded blue, full-sleeve shirt with my name stitched on the left side and a handwritten letter too. 

Blue again! 

Abirami was jumping around like a hyperactive bunny, squealing "dada" and asking me if I had loved her gifts or not. 
The way she took rights on me without hesitation, like in old times, is what I and Dev dreamed of. 

Thanks to that monk for giving her much-needed confidence. Although Neel Maama, Shambavi Aththai, my parents, and I made her feel comfortable, her eyes would always look at Dev for assurance. 

I don't care about her past. She's my sister, and my parents are her parents. And soon, she'll become my dev's better half, staying with us forever. 

Apart from me and him, we had another human who loved her like anything. My beloved dad, Vishwanathan.

Priya Akka was the apple of his eyes, as she was the only daughter he had, but it looks like Abirami is his favourite now. He literally handled her like a glass doll, calculative and careful as to not hurt her by any means. 

And sometimes, their physical attributes would match so well that they looked like the male and female versions of each other. 

Mystifying, but a beautiful fact.

"Duh!" Yazhini punched my cheek, cackling up like a baby dinosaur. 

It seems like she's into WWE now. 

"Enna? Haan, enna?" I took her out of the carrier and lifted her to my face level, blowing raspberries on her tiny tummy. She shrilled in excitement and happiness, grabbing my hair strands. 

Her tiny palms hit my face, and for every hit, I held her palm and placed a nimble kiss on it, which thrilled her. Her slaps increased, as did my kisses. 

"Muh" 

"Duh" 

"Goo" 

"Gee"

Her lips spilled out inarticulate syllables, and her animated tone was ear-pleasing—far better than the best songs existing in the world. 

An incoherent babbling from her felt like an appealing woodnote that I would hear, even if I lost my hearing ability. 

"Muh-muh-muh." Okay, if muh comes out three times, she's desperate for my attention, and if you are not provided with whatever she demands, then you won't be spared at any cost. 

Over these months, she would exhibit peculiar mannerisms to express what she felt, and surprisingly, I could tell when she was hungry, cranky, angry, attention-seeking, sleepy, etc. 

"Beach paaka pogalama?" I asked her in a sing-song voice, getting out of the car. The sun is yet to arrive for the day to bless the living beings with his holy presence. 

I walked to the farther end of the beach with almost nil human movements and settled on the sand, with my world on my lap.

As I lifted her from my lap, her tiny arms engulfed my neck, and her eyes twinkled in delight, witnessing the rushing of waves for the first time. 

I would do anything to keep that bright smile intact on her tiny lips. 

Her curious eyes wandered over the surroundings, trying to capture all of them at once, while her palm clutched my index finger in a fine grip. 

The excitement of hers when the waves reached the shore evoked happy giggles, followed by her honey babbling.

"Yazhini," her beauteous eyes shifted their gaze to me, with a heavenly smile on her little lips. 

My baby is smiling at me. 

"Beach pudichi irukka?" She babbled, trying to express her happiness.

Satisfied with her reaction, I watched the waves in quietude, making a silent prayer to nature. 

No matter what happens, nothing should separate me from my world. If a situation arises as such,  you better take my life first. I am incapable of living without her. 

Her palm has grabbed the left side of my collar now. Ever since she started holding things, the collars and bracelets/threads I wear have been her favourite things to be held.

I gazed at the black thread in a daze, as I was wearing it just for the second time. The first time was on the day when the Sivaachariyar tied it to my wrist, and the very same day, I was blessed with Yazhini. 

The brat, that is, Anvi, was right. Her words that I would have an angel enter my life came true the very same day she said them. 

For some unknown reasons, I felt like wearing the thread today again and asked Abirami to tie it on my wrist. 

I looked at the pulimugan dubiously. 

I don't know who you are, but if you have some powers, kindly don't let anyone or anything separate me from my world. 

A tug on my collar from Yazhini broke my trance, and I looked at her, kissing her head.

"Apdi andha collar la enna irukku, paapa?" She scrunched her eyebrows like an aged scholar, as if she's ready to present an ever-famous speech on her contributions to mankind. 

"Muh," she growled like a lion cub, slapping my cheek with her baby palms. It's adorable and painful at the same time. Those little hands of babies exert incredible brute force, believe me. 

"Aadhu ku valikkudhu, ma." I whined a little, to which she giggled, hitting me again.

Okay, I accept. I love it whenever she hits, punches, or slaps me. 

Slurred tweets from the Piper Plovers, the rhythmic rise and fall of the waves with their primordial sounds, let out an aesthetic vibe of a harmonic beach, and with every minute reaction, I could easily comprehend that Yazhini is amazed to look at her surroundings. 

Despite residing here for nine months and fifteen days, I stayed home with her for the first four months, working from home, followed by winter, which wasn't suitable for a newborn to travel out much. With the summers coming up and the confidence that I could handle her well, it was easy for me to take her to the beach as the first place, apart from our home and office.

"Um-duh" Her lips let out rumbling sounds, pulling on my nose. 

"Muh-duh" Her palm was on my cheek, trying to convey something. 

I let her do anything as per her wish, relaxing in her presence. The hateful, harsh, and abusive comments that she faced for no reason have caused big scars in me, and the demon side of mine wants to literally kill all those who spoke against my angelic human. But considering the fact that she needed me the most, I had to stop myself. 

Nevertheless, I am not going to spare anyone who spoke poorly about my baby. 

Touch Aadarsh's baby and get ready to step into hell. 

With many accusing eyes around, I found it unsafe for her to stay in a toxic environment and left my motherland for a while to keep her in peace. The deal with Peter was the best opportunity that came along, which led to my professional growth as well as provided me ample time to stay with my little amma. 

She wasn't responsible for anything happening in her life, as well as mine and others. She's one blessing that I never knew I needed, and after her arrival, I felt like I was again reborn in this world as a new Homo sapien. 

I am the luckiest bean alive, for I had the best parents anyone would wish for and beg for. Without a word, my parents followed suit, leaving behind their native land and business, proving to the world that they wouldn't leave me alone at any cost.

IS Industries is being monitored by Nandakumaran pa and Soundarya ma, Rithvik's parents, while the other branch in Coimbatore is under Rithvik's supervision. 

I can't thank them enough for all that they are doing for us.

Okay, it's time now. Kissing my precious pie on her cheek tenderly, I looked at her with a smile. 

"Naa paadatta ippo?" She rotated her head like a happy baby elephant, as if she got the cue of my question. 

Lifting her, I got up and walked a little near the water and quickly removed her baby shoes and socks, letting her down to feel the water.

At first, she was anxious and screamed to lift her up, but from the second time on, she let out excited squeals and happy giggles, enjoying the touch of oceanic water on her baby feet. 

I lifted her up back to my face level as she grabbed my shirt in her fist with twinkling eyes. The beach was almost empty at this end, as it's the early hours of the day, granting me much-needed privacy.

🎶Enathu selvam nee...
Enathu varumai nee...
Izhaitha kavithai nee...
Ezhuthu pizhaiyum nee...🎶

Life was perfect and blissful with my family and friends around. While I literally had nothing to yearn for, as I had everything a normal human being would crave, can someone intrude and reach the top, surpassing everyone and becoming my top priority? 

Yes, an answer came.

An enchanting neonate, weighing six and a half pounds, changed the whole meaning of my life just like that with her birth.

Not the money, not the assets and properties I own, and not the people I have around made me feel opulent. It was this little fairy who blessed me with her abundance of affection and benevolence, abstractly crowning me as the richest person on earth.

She was the boon and bane of my existence, and the air I breathe feels suffocating without her.

Some stupid tears trickled down from my eyes that must have fallen on her tiny hands. I quickly wiped it away, sporting a smile. Her fisted palm bumped my cheek as a happy giggle escaped her lips upon hearing me sing for the first time.

🎶Iraval velicham nee...
Iravin kanneer nee.
Iraval velicham nee...
Iravin kanneer nee....🎶

With a fear that she might leave me or be taken away from me, I was visibly shaken, eventually stepping into a world filled with darkness. The same world that was bright and colourful with all my favourite humans became dull all of a sudden, without her in it. 

Why did she become the only light source during my dark days? When I was questioned, when I was asked to send her away, why did I feel like giving up on my life? Thirty-six hours of growing pain, like that of a neuron explosion within, came to an end the moment she was handed back to me forever. How did she wipe away all my stress with a divine smile tucked on her lips?

Yazhini was quiet, listening to her human sincerely. I pecked her head with an overwhelming feeling of angst and love.

🎶 Enathu vaanam nee...
Ilantha siragum nee...
Enathu vaanam nee...
Ilantha siragum nee...🎶

When I had several questions floating around, her arrival after those traumatic hours felt like the last day of the toughest penance, ending up with her as my most precious boon from the supreme one above. Lifting her back into my arms safely, I let out a pleading prayer to Goddess Abirami, our family's favourite deity, to never separate my world from me. 

🎶Naan thooki valartha thuyaram nee🎶

The following days were filled with mixed emotions, one being the happiest for having her in my life and the other being guilt-ridden by the fact that I couldn't fulfil the role of her mother. 

She never had the first touch from her mother, and she never got the opportunity to feed on her mother's milk. Five days after her birth, I saw another woman in the hospital talking to her husband about how she felt holding her newborn in her arms and how her heart exploded in happiness upon witnessing her baby experiencing the first touch. 

I left the place with tears, as I will never be able to give that feeling to my baby. Looking at her beautiful rose face, I removed my shirt and lifted her carefully in my arms. Raising her up a little, I held her exactly close to my chest. She rubbed her soft cheek on my chest but soon started sucking my nipple, like any normal baby would do.

Controlling my tears, I took up the feeding bottle that had the breast milk from a generous donor and started feeding her slowly. Her hand rested on my chest as she drank her milk quickly. Her twinkling dark black eyes looked at mine, and even after knowing that it takes around a week for the baby to have colour vision and to look at a minimal gaze, I felt as if she was looking at me with love. 

That's the moment I realised the meaning of love in a whole new dimension. The thought of being owned by her in all aspects wreaked a plethora of emotions, and I proudly surrendered to my little princess. 

🎶Oru dheivam thandha poove
Siru udal enna thaaiyae 
Oru dheivam thandha poove
Siru udal enna thaaiyae🎶

With her every single movement, I experienced unmeasurable happiness, yearning to just look at her forever. Whether my eyes were closed or not, I only had her in my vision. Forgetting the outer world, fighting with the moon, and challenging her that she's no longer the beautiful thing there as I have my angel rightfully taking up the place, I knew only one thing: I was so smitten by my tiny princess that everything around me looked dull and lifeless.

It's my princess who breathed me a fresh life, clearly pointing out her place in my heart, senses, and the Earth days in which I had to live. 

She is the only human I want to be with, and my primary job is to be at her service anytime, around the clock.

🎶Vaazhvu thodangum idam neethaane 
Vaanam mudiyum idam neethaane 
Kaattrai polae nee vanthaaiyae
Swasamaaga nee nindraayae 
Maarbil oorum uyire... 🎶

Every freaking thing around me has changed since her arrival. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I can say firmly that my survival is heavily dependent on this ten-month-old baby bundle. 

It's as if she birthed me as a new human being, crowning me the best ever title a man can ever hold, fath.....

I stopped myself, pausing my racing heart. Since her day of birth, I have warned everyone in my family not to address her in any way related to me. I want my baby to show the world who she is to me. 

Only she has the right to either bless me for life or leave me empty-handed and cursed. 

It's up to Yazhini to decide who I am to her. No one else, period. 

More than anyone, it's me who is hurt by my decision. The uncertainty is killing me, but I don't have a choice. 

Only my little amma can relieve me of the pain I am suffering.

Yazhini was mum like a mouse, dumfounded all the while, trying to scrutinise her human's actions. Her minute palms rested freely on my collarbones, her gaze piercing into mine. 

The apple of my eyes, who really doesn't know the power of her hold on me. 

"Kutty ma," I cooed her name softly, rocking her to my left. 

"Enakku andha thagudhiya kudupiya ma? Illa unakku enna pidikkama poiduma?" Her clueless look, trying to grasp the context of my questions, was an eye treat, and despite me crying like a fool, I couldn't stop myself from admiring my baby bundle.

"Manasara aasa pandren, vairame. Nee enna ethupiyo, maatiyo nu nenachi nenachi thavam kedakkuren. Naa paavam la, enmela karunai kaattu da ma. Nee porandhu paththu maasam thaan aagudhu, aana adhu indha balavinamana manasukku theriyalaye. Nee apdi kupda maatiya nu yengudhu. Romba kaakka veikkadha, paapa." 

All the bottled-up emotions shook out, and with no control, I fell on the sand, kneeling down with a loud cry. Her hands held me tightly for support, and I quickly wiped my tears to face my girl. 

Her lips twitched, and I wiped away the remaining tears. Plastering a smile on her face, I rocked her from right to left, which instantly calmed her down. 

I pressed a long kiss softly on her right eye, followed by her left eye. A few holy tear drops fell from her eyes, and I immediately wiped them away. 

"Naa azharadha pathu yen saamikum azhuga vandhuducha da ma? Naa azhudha unakku kashtama irukka ma?" She laid down on my shoulder quietly, clutching my collar. 

The dawn arrived, with the majestic helios lighting up the sky, and I decided to go back home so that Yazhini could rest for a while. 

I made a quick prayer to the sun, pleading with him to make my moon acknowledge me soon, and I looked down to see her with an unusual look. 

What is her tiny brain thinking of? I tried to get my head around it, but got no answer.

"Enna da maa?" I asked her curiously when she placed her open palms on my cheeks with her eyebrows scrunched. 

"Scientist range ku yosanai irukkum polaye." I ticked my chin with a finger, receiving a lick on my cheek.

Dusting of my pants, I decided to leave when the world around me stilled hearing her out.

"Paa" 

Her fisted palm must have hit my cheek, and I let all the tears fall freely from my eyes. Hugging her close to my chest, I cried silently, thanking all gods from all religions for giving me the best birthday present. 

Though I yearned to hear it from her, today is the first time I spoke out loud, begging her to accept me as her own. 

Yen saami enakku varam kuduthuduchu. 

"Naa keta odane kuptutingala kutty ma? Avlo pudikuma maa enna?" I kept on asking her questions like a blabbermouth, and my angel answered every single question with one word, "paa." 

"Appa sollunga da vairame. Appa sollunga. App--paa." I held her to my face level, petitioning her to address me as appa. 

She cackled like a baby dinosaur with her muhs and duhs, purposefully avoiding my request. 

"Maa, please, ma. Appa nu sollu da." I begged, kissing her cheeks again and again, which made her chuckle out loud. I closed my eyes to control the thumping heart, and my whole being froze hearing, "appa." 

"Appa," she said again, smacking her palm on my cheek with absolute merriment.

The words, which I had never taken all along, waiting for her to call me out, slipped my lips like a blessing. 

Yazhini oda appa.

Bouncing her in my arms, I was talking to her about whatever I felt, and my daughter answered me with her "paa" and "appa." 

At such high emotions, I couldn't immediately pull out my phone to record her first word, but every cell in my body recorded the word, which will reverberate within me till the pumping organ beats life. 

I feel like the most blessed human right now since it's her first ever word. Kutty ma used to just babble incoherent sounds but never speak a proper word till now. 

And when usually babies say "maa" as their first word, my daughter took up her father's side, calling him out on the day he stepped into this world. 

I couldn't control my excitement and quickly left the beach to reach home. All the while in the ride, Yazhini was busy calling me "appa" and "paa" and sprinkled my face with her kisses. 

I reached our home and parked the car impatiently, yelling out, "Ammaaa......" 

My parents, Neel maama, Shambu aththai, Dev, and Abi all reached down at the parking lot with panicked expressions but frowned at seeing my brightly lifted-up face. I twirled my mom, aththai, and Abi in a happy dance while Dev chuckled with a confused face, waiting for me to reveal the matter. 

"Ammakale, appakale, Dev, and vaandu. Indha amma yenna enna nu kupta theriyungala?" Their excited faces as they almost guessed what must have happened but waited for me to continue, and I gave a quick kiss to my daughter. 

"Appa." Her lips spilled out like a melody note, and in no time, I was attacked with hugs from the women in my family. Abirami lifted her niece in her arms, and Dev twirled her in delight. 

Amma kissed my forehead, as she knew the sufferings I had endured all along, preventing me from addressing my relationship with my daughter. Shambavi aththai followed amma and wished me a happy birthday, wiping my face off the tears that are streaming like waterfalls. 

I am her favourite child after all, and she treated me the same as Dev. 

Appa ruffled my hair lovingly while Neel maama was in a fun mood, demanding treats to celebrate the occasion.

"Dada, Unicorn is standing and looks like she'll walk on her own now." Abirami shrieked out loud in joy, freezing us out. 

I saw my daughter standing on her lotus feet, holding the leg of the round table near the entrance of our house. Dev and Abirami positioned themselves on either side, encouraging her to walk on her feet. 

Yazhini peeked in, searching for me, and I went in her direction, kneeling down away so that she could walk to me. Her heart eyes fixed their gaze on me, and with clumsy and quick steps, she started walking. 

Dev and Abirami walked on her either side, cautious as to not let our baby bundle fall, and my whole family, along with Stephan, our watchman, clapped their hands, howled, and whistled in ebullience, encouraging my daughter to take her first of infinity steps on the land.

I spread my arms wide as a means to push her further to take steps, and immediately she started toddling like a penguin, eager to embrace me.

My mind visualised her exactly like a walking fairy, with wings behind and flowers adorning her frock. 

Her steps became clumsy but quick, and she came near, falling on my arms. She gripped my neck tightly and giggled out loud. I hugged her closer and pressed kisses on her head, blinking back my tears. 

A second birthday gift from my daughter. 

"Appa," she called me in delight, with twinkling eyes, punching my face in excitement. 

Abirami and Dev kneeled on either side, kissing my daughter's arms with overwhelming eyes.

Abirami laid her head on my shoulder while Dev leaned his forehead on my daughter's arm without pressuring her, and the frenemies declared at the same time, "Yazhini, Aadarsh's daughter." 

Yes, Yazhini is Aadarsh's daughter. Ava yennoda ponnu, naa avaloda appa. Nothing, I repeat, nothing in the world can change this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey peeps! Here's the next chapter. Kindly drop your much needed comments and feedback.

Yazhini is Aadarsh's daughter *grinning in contentment.* Lot more to come. I'll try to update the coming chapters soon.

Happy Reading!

Take care. Tata.

Anbudan,
Mrinalini 💗