We arrive at home later than expected and I look at the clock above the door in our kitchen. "Shoot," I say and run into our bedroom, Jessica on my heels. "What is wrong?" she asks worriedly and I take out some old, ripped pants and crop top.

"I need to get to work," I say and she looks at me disappointed. "I thought we could maybe spend the evening together," she says and I hurry past her. "I am sorry but I have a job to do. You have acting as a job and I have singing as a job. Maybe tomorrow... You don't need to be on set tomorrow, do you?" I say and she just stares at the ground.

"No, I don't," she finally says and I peck her lips before I leave. "See you tomorrow," I say and close the door behind me and make my way towards the bar.

....

I come home late and I hope so much that Jessie is already asleep, because I don't have the energy to talk about anything. All I want to do is sleep, sleep and sleep. I tip toe into the bedroom and see her asleep on the bed. She hugs my pillow tight and looks so peaceful.

I give her a kiss onto the forehead before I get into bed and hug her tight, slowly drifting off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up to find her still asleep in my arms. She is facing me and I brush a strand of blonde hair out of her face and smile to myself. No wonder I fell for her... She is gorgeous.

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me sleepily. "Morning," she says grumpily and tries to block the sun from her eyes. "Morning gorgeous," I say and kiss her lips softly. "How was work yesterday?" she asks and closes her eyes again.

"Good," I say and she opens her eyes again to look at me curiously. "Just good? You normally talk an hour plus about your work day and now you just say 'good'. What happened?" she asks and raises her eyebrow.

"Well, it was good. Not much happened. It was a quiet evening and Leon was an ass so not much to say about yesterday," I say and sigh. "But can we not talk about work now, I want to enjoy the day with me lovely girlfriend before her work takes her away from me again," I say and she laughs softly.

"Hey, you are the one who works through the night," she says and I chuckle. "But you are the one who works through the day. You go before I wake up and come back short before I need to go to work..." I say and kiss her lips softly. "But we'll make it work somehow," I say and she pulls me closer.

"I love you," she says and I smile. "I love you, too."

...

"So what do you want to do today?" I ask her and take a bite of my homemade pancakes. "We can't go out in public since we aren't officially dating so what do you think about staying here and watch a few films," she says and I sigh.

We can do barely anything because she doesn't want to come out... I understand her but she can't hide me forever, can she? "Yeah, I guess that's all we can do," I say and push the half finished pancakes away from me. I am not hungry anymore.

"Okay and what is wrong now?" she asks and raises her eyebrow. "Nothing," I lie and she crosses her arms in front of her chest saying, "Why do you lie to me?"

"Maybe because some things better remain untold," I say and she huffs frustratedly. "I am not made of sugar. You can tell me what is bothering you," she says and I don't want to tell her how I feel about her not wanting to make us public.

"Can't you just accept that I am not comfortable with telling you that?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. "You should be comfortable with telling me anything. I would never hurt you and I thought you know that," she says, clearly disappointed.

"So you want to know what is bothering me? Fine. We are together for almost five months now... You haven't told any of your friends. Not even Sarah. Do you know how that makes me feel? I want to be by your side but I can't because nobody knows about us... What are you afraid of? Or are you ashamed of me? I just don't want to keep hiding because it's tiring... I want to be with you but if you don't want to be public or at least tell your friends, then I don't know where this is going..." I say and she stares at the ground.

"Say something," I say and tears make their way down my face. "I don't know what to say," she says and I see that she is fighting the urge to cry. "Where do you see us in maybe five years?" I ask her and she doesn't say anything. "Answer me," I say a bit more angry than intended. "I can't," she says and I slowly stand up and walk towards our bedroom. She remains in the kitchen.

I need time and space. If she can't tell me where she sees us in the future  I can't stay... I'll just end up getting hurt and that is the one thing I don't want to happen. I grab a few of my things and throw them into a bag and walks down the stairs again.

"Where are you going?" Jessica says and takes my hand in hers, fear taking over her. "I think we need some time off Jess. I will be back when you can answer my question," I say and grab the door handle and open the door. "No, please don't go," she says but I can't stay... I need some alone time. I need to overthink everything in silence.

"I am sorry," I say and go.