Hey. I am Fenella. I am 36 years old and lesbian. I outed myself to the world exactly one year ago. That is the day my parents told me to leave because I brought shame over the whole family. I don't care what my parents think. I have long brown hair that reaches my bottom and I have a small figure. I am not really tall but have the perfect size. I am from Ireland and miss the rainy weather, now that I live in the sunny New Orleans.

I have not really any friends here and just got a job. I am surprised that they chose me out of all the people that wanted the job. I mean I have not really much experience, but I got the job on the tv show American Horror Story Coven.

I have my first day of work today and I am super excited. I will meet so much famous and interesting people in the near future and of course Jessica Lange my long time crush.

I am on my way to the set where Ryan Murphy, the producer of the show, is waiting for me.

"Hey Fenella. Or do you have a nickname I should call you?" He says nicely and smiles at me.

"It's just Nella." I say and smile back.

He shows me around the set and tells me to go and get Sarah Paulson for her next scene. Oh my god I am super excited. I know I already said this but this time the excitement is worse. I mean, I am going to meet Sarah Paulson.

I go to the trailer whit the letters 'Sarah Paulson' written on and softly knock on the door.

"Yeah. Who is it?" I hear someone call through the still closed door.

"Ms Paulson. Ryan sent me to get you for your next scenes." I say and hear how someone walks to the door.

Only seconds later the door opens and Sarah Paulson stands in front of me.

"Ryan sent you? Are you the new one? And it's just Sarah." She says and smiles at me.

"Yeah I am the new one. And yes he told me that they are ready." I say and turn around to leave but Sarah quickly asks me " What's your name?"

"My name is Fenella but it's just Nella." I say and turn around to smile at her.

"Nice to meet you Nella. And tell them I'll be right there." She says and closes the door again.

I chuckle and can't believe I just met Sarah Paulson and that she knows my name. I walk back to set and tell Ryan what Sarah told me to tell him.

"So... Could you please go to Jessica's trailer and tell her we need her on set asap. The other Assistent who usually goes and gets her is sick and I need you to go." He says and I smile from ear to ear.

"Of course." I say and walk again torwards the trailers. I fast get to the trailer with a golden star on the door. In the middle of the star stands a name... Jessica Lange.

Oh my god I am about to see Jessica freaking Lange in person. I take a deep breath before I softly knock on the door. No response. I knock again this time louder.

I hear cursing from inside and a rather angry Jessica opens the door. "What the hell do you want? Strangers don't belong to the set."

"I... I am the new assistant and Ryan told me to go and tell you that he needs you on set asap." I say and am totally surprised that she was so rude.

"You are not Michelle. Why are you here instead of her? And how can I trust you. Maybe you are just a pathetic bitch who just found a way to get in?" She says and I am completly stunned at how rude she was.

I show her my pass and she just says "Tell him I'll be there." Before she slamms the door shut.

Wow. I thought she would be nice, but she is just a rude bitch. And this is the person I looked up to. No thanks...

I walk back to set and decide to forget about what just happened and try to enjoy the rest of my job. I had to run around a lot for Ryan and now I finally have my 30 minutes break from work.

I sit on a table outside and eat my apple while reading a book. All the others have a break too and I see Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters sitting one a table near me.

I am lost in my book and didn't see Jessica walking torwards me. She says "Is this seat taken?" And points to the space next to me.

I just look at her with an emotionless face. "Yes." I say and begin to read again.

"Hey look. I didn't mean to-" She started but I cut her of. "No. It's okay. It's really okay. The pathetic bitch just wants to enjoy her break before she has to work again." I say and hope she leaves.

I look into her face and see that she is about to say something so I stand up, take my book  and walk away. I don't need a fake apology.

She is the star and I am a nobody. How could I think she would like me. I hear footsteps behind me and Jessica grabs my arm. I turn around and look at her annoyed.

"Hey. I didn't want to be rude. I just had a bad day and... I am sorry." She says and I just roll my eyes.

"You know that you don't need to act like you really mean it. It's okay I am just the new assistant and you, you are this big actress that achieved so much in her life." I say and turn around to leave, but Jessica still holds my arm and prevents me from walking away.

"I really mean what I said. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have acted like a bitch. Can I take you out for drinks or dinner tonight as an apology?" She asks and I think about it.

No. Fenella don't get weak. She was being a bitch and now she acts like she is sorry. People in the show buisness are like this. You don't fit into this whole thing.

"No thank you... I rather spend my evening alone." I say and walk away, leaving her surprised.

My day goes on and I am about to go when I see Jessica walking torwards me. Not again.

I quicken my pace and try to reach my car before she reaches me. I am about to open the door when she grabs my hand and says "Wait."

I look at her annoyed and say "What? I want to go home now."

"I didn't even ask what your name is." She says and I laugh.

"This is the only reason you came? You could have asked Ryan or Sarah instead of bothering me." I say,open the door of my car and drive home.

I feel kind of sorry for how I acted. I should have at least told her my name. She was being a bitch but I wasn't better. Maybe she truly was sorry. I should have listened to her.

Now it is too late and I am home. I step into the shower and let the cold water run down my body. I love the feeling of a cold shower after a hard day of work. I am just stepping out of the shower when I hear the doorbell ring.

I cover myself with an towel and quickly run to the door. I open it and in front of me stands Jessica. How did she know where I live? I didn't even tell her my name.

"Ehm... what are you doing here? I just came out of the shower so I don't have much time." I say.

"Look I asked Ryan where you live and I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?" She asks ands looks at me with puppy eyes.

"Come in." I say after a few seconds of hesitation and open the door more. She steps in and quickly looks away when she sees that I am only covered with an towel.

"So make yourself comfortable I am going to change into something different."  I say and walk into my bedroom. I put on some comfortable clothes and my hair into a bun.

"So you wanted to talk... so talk." I say when I am back in the living room.

"I am really sorry for how I acted. I was a bitch and I had no right to call you a bitch or even pathetic without knowing you. I just have a few problems in the last time and I was stressed out."  She says and I feel bad for how I acted earlier.

"It's okay. I am sorry too. I should have listened to you. I was being a bitch..." I say and look to the ground.

"So what's your name. I still don't know it." She says and I laugh.

"My name is Fenella, but just call me Nella." I say and smile.

My phone rings and I look at the caller ID. "ní arís" I say under my breath. It's irish for not again.

Jessica heard what I said and asks "What? Is it someone bad?"

"No just my pathetic ex girlfriend." I say and answer the phone call.

"Bedelia what do you want? I told you not to call or text me." I say annoyed and roll my eyes.

"Should I leave?" Asked Jessica and my eyes widen in horror. Now I have to listen to my psycho ex talking about my new 'girlfriend'

"You have a new girlfriend?!" She screams so loud that I have to hold my phone away from my ear what leads to Jessica hearing everything.

I end the call and turn my phone off before Bedelia even has the chance to start. "soith" I say loud and realise afterwards that I am not alone.

"What did you say?" She asks curious and my face turns totally red.

"I said bitch on irish. I lived in Ireland until last year when my parents told me to leave because I brought shame over the family." I say and roll my eyes.

"What did you do?" She asks and laughs.

"I told them I am lesbian." I say and she stops laughing.

"They really told you to leave?" she asks in disbelief.

"Yeah they did. And told me to never come back. Now I am here and start a new life without family and without friends." I say and laugh a sad laugh.

She comes over to me and hugs me tight. Wow. I never thought I would be this close to my crush. Yeah she is my crush again. I believe her apology.

A tear rolls down my cheek and she gently wipes it away.

"You know... what do you think about me staying here tonight and us making a slumber party?" She says and I look at her in disbelief.

Does she really wanna stay here? I can't believe how lucky I am. My crush is going to sleep in my appartment.