I whipped towards the booth where the announcer was. He had just brought down his megaphone, revealing him to be a young man with shoulder-length green hair and pointy ears. He looked like the interns at work, still too fresh from whatever fantasy they came out of.

"Did you say 'Beast Hunters'?" I began to trudge towards the bleachers' stairs but Heather's clawed hand gripped my arm, holding me in place. "We won!"

The sound of nails flicking made me turn to Aevi. She grinned at me despite begging for her life not a few minutes ago. "Someone's a sore loser."

I stalked towards the valdyrsi. "Now, you listen here, you bi—"

"No harassment towards the other parties, please!" The announcer reached the arena's floor just as the crowd began dispersing, muttering to each other about how the fight was. I imagined the talks contained words describing us as failures. "I can explain."

Aevi blew into her fingernails, her smile relaxing into a relieved gaze as if she couldn't believe she got her hands back. "Please do, Wen," she said. "Explain why they had to lose to make them regret their choice even more."

I gritted my teeth. Heather, Revery, Arzo, and Trink fanned out from behind me, the same question etched on their faces. We won the match, didn't we?

Wen, the announcer, cleared his throat and consulted his clipboard. "Well, looking at the battle logs here," he said. "Seline used a skill called Divine Hand, is that right?"

I narrowed my eyes. What was he getting at? "Yeah," I said.

"According to the rules of the Games," Wen replied. "Anyone who uses a non-registered skill at the start of the tournament forfeits the present match."

My eyes widened as I turned to Heather. She must have found it unfair too, right? "When did that even happen?" I asked. "I read the rules before we registered. There's nothing there that says otherwise!"

Aevi chuckled. "This is why you'll never become adventurers," she said. "You don't know the politics of it all."

No way. Did she...?

"I understand, Wen," Heather answered. Before I could lash out once more, she started pulling me back. "We accept the ruling."

Wait. How could we just—

"Seline, let's go," Heather said in a voice she rarely used on us. It was full of authority, like a command. "Don't make me hurt you."

I sagged against her grip. Still, I kept my chin up as we retreated back into the entrance we emerged from, leading to the corridor containing our prep room. Through it all, I could see Aevi's smirk, embossing itself at the back of my brain. I'd wipe it off her damned pretty face—

"We shouldn't have entered," Revery said. I whirled to her just as Heather closed the door behind us and the summoner plopped into one of the cushions. "Now, we don't even have our license anymore."

I found my fists curled at my sides. "That wench," I spat. Arzo and Trink's heads snapped up upon hearing the word out of my lips. "She must have done something to change the rules before our match. She knew they were going to lose, so they rigged the game itself. If I find out if this is true, then—"

"Seline, stop it," Heather interjected without mercy or consideration. "Let it go."

"You heard Rev," I waved a hand in her direction, making her flinch at being included into the conversation. "We don't have our license anymore. We've been duped."

"Which wouldn't even have to lose if a certain someone didn't gamble it away like a can of terribeans!" Trink shot up from his own seat and stalked towards me. Heather's eyes flashed as she came between us, putting a hand over the langkoor's chest. Trink huffed, pushing our leader back. "Heather, how long are you going to take her side?"

Heather turned to him. "I don't want a bloodbath if I can help it," she said. "Seline can gut any of us if she willed it."

"So it's her over us because she's stronger?" Revery rose from the cushion in a flash. "What happened to the years we spent together, the things we lived through? You're throwing it all away just to kiss up to some stranger who happened to be stronger? What would Sonii say?"

Heather whirled to Revery, sending the spiria stumbling back. "Don't bring Sonii into this," she hissed, forked tongue flitting between her lips curling in outrage. "I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm your leader. I should be the one keeping the peace."

"And you," Revery turned to me. "Don't you have any remorse for what you've done?"

I knitted my eyebrows. "If you're telling me to apologize for standing up to you and for doing my best to make sure we wouldn't be defeated before we could even take a swing at them, then by all means, I'm sorry!"

Revery scoffed. The gentle and placid nature of the blue-haired spiria she once had was gone. "You don't mean that," she said. "Up until now, you don't realize what you did wrong. It's our mistake for thinking you had any good left within you."

The words cut deep into my chest, more than any blade would. "What?"

"That's enough," Heather stressed. "Rev, stand down. You too, Seline. Trink, don't make me repeat myself."

I sighed and forced the imagine of their hateful eyes digging at the back of my head. "I'm going out," I said. "Get some air."

Before any of them could protest (though I suspected none of them would), I strode out of the room, the corridor, and the arena altogether. It's almost a blessing the tournament happened outside the guild. Otherwise, the grandmasters would have witnessed my blunder.

My footsteps ceased, stopping me in the middle of a bustling road. When has it been my blunder, my mistake, and my problem? Revery's words bounced around in my brain. Have you no remorse? Then, It's our mistake to think there's any good left in you.

Haven't I said those words myself before? To someone who has received the well of my anger and my hurt? To someone who might or might not deserve it after all? Hearing those words now, thrown out at me the same way I used to throw them at everyone back then...it's a different feeling. It's enough to tear my insides into shreds, slamming into my heart hard enough to crack it in two.

I made it to the tavern, the same one where I let myself get wasted and got attacked by a rogue dragonkin. Upon inspection, I found out he was a member of a street gang of thieves who harass the people of Suprana every once in a while. None of the guilds around consider those neighborhood gangs as real threats since their focus was on the nether beasts. We weren't the police. That's what the Crown Guard was for.

The pillar I destroyed was replaced by a polished one. The owner really made use of the last of my money from that time, I'd give him that.

"A biser," I said, propping myself up the stool. The same lion-headed langkoor occupied the counter. "Any kind."

Those two words meant the barkeep could choose whatever they wanted to give a customer, whether it be stale rum or the most expensive aged wine in their stocks. It's basically the staff deciding if someone was deserving of the good things they could offer. Just be good and don't be an asshole. It's guaranteed to get you a cup of kalir d'morquise, at the least.

The cup slid over to me and when I took a sip, the bitter taste coating my tongue made me wince. Damn it. I was still in the asshole department according to the barkeep.

I chuckled. Even people I didn't really know seemed to think I was one.

It was easy to think everything led up to this point because of some other thing. We lost our license because Aevi did some maneuvering. I was only standing up for my friends even when they couldn't do it themselves. Aevi was just a little bitch who got her head way in the heavens. But underneath it all, there was me. I goaded Aevi into making a bet with me without knowing who she was and what she was capable of doing. Even when Heather told me to stop, I didn't.

I fell right into the trap Aevi had laid out for me and led the rest of the team with me. And for what? Because I needed to look like a savior, like I was the only thing they could rely on in order to survive. To make them feel like they couldn't survive without me. To get them to appreciate me more and to let them know I knew what I was doing, like I was right in everything I did.

They had been right all this time, of course. I was a newcomer in this world with zero knowledge of how things worked. Just because I played this as a game didn't mean I could still live treating it like one. I've long established that this version of Solarlume was nothing like the world on my screen. There were people who had notable nuances, dreams, and flaws. They were people.

What gave me the right to step on them like I would to objects I knew to have no life?

Sighing, I raised my cup to my lips once more. I forced myself to relish the bitter trail burning my throat. It's the least of my penance.

Perhaps everything has just been as it was, long before Solarlume. A memory resurfaced in my mind, one telling me of the night I had watched the world burn. A bucket of water had been in my hands all along, and I didn't raise a finger to help extinguish it. Because I had grown tired. Trying to save people who didn't need or want one, putting on a mask of strength and nonchalance while suppressing a storm deep inside, pulling on strings to control people's acceptance and impression of me—at some point, it all got tiring.

And when I got tired...guess who took all the brawn? Someone who didn't deserve it. Someone who did everything he could to make sure the world not only stayed unburnt, but that it flourished and thrived. I was too blind to see it then, but now...

I have been given a chance to make it right with the people who were here, people whom I could still reach, and people who still cared for me even after all that. I shouldn't waste it. Never again.

I hopped off the stool and flipped an ethran on the counter. My feet tapped against the cobblestones, taking me all the way back to the arena. I found my friends standing idly around, fingers twiddling with each other or stuffed deep in their pockets. Heather's eyes landed on me, as if she's already searching for my semblance in the passing crowd. She didn't smile at me as I swallowed against the lump growing in my throat and endured the heavy droll of my heartbeat in my ears.

"Hey," I said, giving them an awkward wave. Revery scoffed and didn't even look at me. I blew a breath and bit the inside of my cheek. My fist tapped against my thigh that was now void of armor. I didn't see the need to come in all my gear. "I'm sorry about earlier."

None of them looked me in the eye but none of them leaped out and tried to stab my eye out either. So, I continued. "Apologizing, as you can see, is hard for me," I tucked my hair behind an ear, my fingers brushing one of the proofs I wasn't anywhere sensical. "I...um, it takes a long while before I can see the error of my ways, and I have a tendency to twist things around. For that...I'm sorry."

Heather's eyes flicked from my boots back to my face. I gave her a small smile. "What I did was wrong. I shouldn't have engaged Aevi when she was trying to provoke us. I thought I was being defensive of you and your honor, but all I did was bring you down with me," I said. "For insisting on getting the Book of Darkness and using its spells in the Games, I'm sorry as well. It seems like I cared too much to not disappoint you and to stand by the mess I dragged you into to not have predicted Aevi's move."

My shoulders perked up as I folded my hands together. "I'm sorry for not being a good replacement for Sonii," I said. At this, Revery's head snapped up to look at me. Arzo averted his gaze and Trink closed his eyes like he couldn't believe he was having this conversation. Again.

"And I'd like to atone for all that through every way I can," I said. "If you'll let me."

A heavy sigh made me turn to Revery. "I guess we can't help it," she said. "You owe us one, Seline."

Arzo scratched the back of his head, mussing his teal hair. "Apologizing is hard for everyone," he said. "I appreciate that. Truly. And Rev's right. You owe us one."

Heather turned to Trink who just rolled his eyes and shrugged. Up until now, he still couldn't make up his mind about me. "I'm not ready to forgive you just yet, but seeing as you were willing to gulp all of that pride down, it will help," he said.

"And there's no way we're letting you out of our sight," Heather chuckled, albeit her tone being tinged with a little sadness. "It's not everyday we've had someone fight for us as fiercely as you did. For that, thank you. You've made us have hope, to reach for the stars despite the sky being far from our grasp. You're forgiven. In my books, that is."

I returned Heather's smile and bobbed my head. "That's more than what I hoped for, honestly."

Heather reached out and gave me a pat on the shoulder. "I've talked to these three while you're gone," she said. "We've reached a conclusion."

I cocked an eyebrow. "About what?"

Her fangs glinted against the setting sun. "Welcome back to the team," she said. "Although, we don't really have one and all that. We decided to take you with us as we shop around for other guilds who would adopt us."

I blinked. "Why?"

Heather's eyes narrowed."Well, who else has the Book of Darkness and has managed to slay Haalor?" she said. "You're a wildcard, Seline. Haven't I told you that?"

I glanced at Revery. "But isn't that..."

The dragonkin waved a hand in front of her face. "Rev doesn't mean it," she said. "We're all angry back there. We like having you around. You may not believe it, but you give us strength. Even without trying too hard."

She bumped her fist against my arm. A light jab. "So don't try too hard," she said with a wink.

I wrapped my hand over her fist, looked my friends in the eye, and nodded. "Got it," I ducked my head at Heather—something I didn't recall having to do even with my direct boss in the office. My eyes misted when I raised my head once more. Then, I added, "Ma'am."

Heather's cheeks flushed, turning her face red all the way to her ears. Arzo snorted in amusement. What followed was the rest of us laughing without a care about the world around us or what we looked like to passers-by.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that we didn't have a license anymore. I'd go around the world with these people just for the sake of. And that's how I knew.

I was home.