June 20th, 2005

120 miles south of Chicago, Illinois

3rd day of tour

Gerard shoves me down on the bunk, looking around for a moment before he swings the curtain around the mattress giving us privacy in case anyone would be stupid enough to walk in.

My breathing is fast and my heart unsteady as I lean up on my elbows and look into Gerard's eyes.

The glance he returns is intimidating with... kind of a gentle undertone, and it begins to ease some of my nerves as he forces me to lie back, my elbows at my sides.

"Relax, Sugar." He whispers, "Are you a virgin?"

I blush a dark red, again I'm really thankful that it's dark in here as I reply, "Y-Yeah... both ways."

Gerard swallows, "You're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

He smiles back at me, "I'll try not to let it hurt too much."

"Oh, okay." I whisper, my voice giving out halfway through because I'm so nervous.

He leans down, his lips just inches away from mine, leaving warm breaths on my lips, "Can I kiss you?"

"Jesus, Gerard," I pant desperately as I weave my fingers in his hair and drive his lips on mine. He kisses back deeply, placing my hands above my head and holding them there with one hand, while the other goes to unzip my jacket and pull it off quickly.

Neither of us say a word as I kiss down his neck and pull off his dark gray hoodie, throwing it to the floor with my jacket.

He tugs on the hem of my shirt wantingly as he goes back down for another kiss, nibbling and sucking down my neck.

"W-wait. I-I'm self conscious." I interrupt with a half-moan.

Gerard hums into my neck and trails his hands down my clothed chest to the button on my jeans, his lips still abusing my neck in ways I never thought could feel good but holy shit!

I let out a soft whimper when he pulls away, instead fumbling with my belt desperately because I can see that bulge in his jeans and it does not look comfortable.

"Condom?" I ask.

"I've got one." He winks. "I always have one on me."

I blush.

He finally slips my belt off and unrestrains my jeans, pulling them off and throwing them on our hoodies before he's licking me through my boxers and unzipping his own jeans with nimble fingers and fast breaths.

"Shit, Gee," I groan out, spreading my legs just slightly and bucking my hips up, desperate for... for... something.

He finishes with his jeans, slipping them off and adding them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor before he's finishing with his boxers and leaning over the bed to grab a condom from one of his pockets.

He sets it aside for a moment as he slips off my own underwear and gives me a few fingers.

I let a confused look cross my face, unsure of why the hell he's stuffing his fingers in my face but he replies with a, "Suck, I don't have lube."

My eyebrows raise at that to say, "Okay, then." Then, I wrap my around his fingers, bobbing and sucking desperately.

"Jesus, Patrick, slow down." He whispers with a grin.

"Well I'm sorry that my band members occupy this bus 24/7 and give me no time to myself. I just need to get off." I whisper.

"Well, I can help you with that." He says, poising his fingers at my entrance, "This is gonna feel kinda weird and it might hurt but just... try not to clench, I guess, and it'll get better."

I swallow nodding softly through my horny haze of, "Holy shit, I'm getting fucked by Gerard Way," and a long never ending, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh," and the occasional internal scream of pleasure.

I feel a finger begin to make its way inside me. Inside me. That sounds weird but... I mean. Whatever.

It burns a little but not a lot, just enough to make me squirm under him and a gasp to leave my mouth. He doesn't do anything at my reaction, only concentrates on stretching me wide enough to fit himself in without too much pain.

"Can I add another?" He asks quietly, careful not to startle me through my gaze, but hard enough to snap me out of it.

"Y-Yeah." I reply quietly.

He gives me a warm smile as he slides in his index finger to the first knuckle, and then the second. This one begins to hurt a little more and my face scrunches up in pain as he slides the two fingers in and out, circling the rim every once in a while to try to get me to stop clenching (which is surprisingly hard when an extremely attractive emo guy is fucking you with his fingers and it feels strangely amazing).

He thrusts his fingers in a few more times before scissoring, his head buried in my neck, kissing and licking to calm me and his ring finger entering beside his middle.

"G-Gerard-" I whimper.

"Shh," he whispers against my neck, "I know. You're doing good, though. So fucking good. Mmm, fuck."

I clench the bed sheets and spread my legs a little farther despite the fact that I'm extremely self conscious because all of it is forgotten as he fucks me with three fingers, stretching me as well as he can.

"Next time, you're topping, Kay?" He asks me with a smile.

"N-Next time?" I ask shakily.

"Are you enjoying this?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Then why shouldn't there be a next time?" He winks at me with a dirty, dirty grin.

God help me.

"You ready?" He asks as he pulls his fingers out and rolls on a condom and-

Holy shit. How am I supposed to fit that up my fucking ass?

This is either going to go terribly or feel like heaven.

"Yeah, sure." I whisper breathlessly, but I'm really not ready.

Gerard smiles and spits on his hand, using his saliva as best as he can to lube up his length and line himself up.

"Don't clench, it's going to hurt but I'll make it feel better. Just... deep breaths and try to relax." He says gently.

So I follow his instructions as well as I can, unclenching anything that is clenched and tensed, taking deep breaths and feeling my chest rise and fall.

And feeling him begin to enter me.

It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would, it goes fairly smoothly as long as I relax and keep my deep breaths. He massages my hips as he goes, his lips trailing up and down my neck and jaw, eventually going back to my lips and kissing me gently, licking my bottom lip and asking for permission to enter. I grant it.

The kissing and the gentle rhythm of his hand stroking my member. The unsteady breaths, the way that he eases himself into me, slowly. Everything about it. It... it doesn't feel like a one night stand. One night stands are supposed to be fast paced, much more more moaning, begging, growling but this... This is sex. Maybe even making love? No, not that far. It's not like we're partners. This is just a casual affair. I'm sure he's just going gentle because he doesn't want to hurt me, and because I'm a virgin.

It's not what I want it to be... I guess that's okay, though...

"You okay?" Gerard asks and it takes me a moment to realize he's bottomed out.

I nod softly, but quickly add a small, "Don't move yet," because it hurts quite a bit.

So he waits obediently, kissing up and down my neck to fill the awkward silence. His tongue begins exploring back towards my ear, making me lean my head to the right to give him better access right to my sweet spot.

"G-Gee!" I whimper as his lips latch just behind my ear, sucking hard and flicking his tongue over it every now and then, "O-Okay, please, fuck me!"

He chuckles darkly right into my ear, "You sure?"

"Y-Yes, please, fuck it hurts."

He smiles but pulls away and pins my wrists above my head, moving his hips back only to slam them forward, skin slapping against skin. I gasp at the feeling of him inside me, just the feeling of my walls being stretched and-

That's the best visual in the world. Note the sarcasm.

It feels weird but still kind of pleasurable at the same time, the way I bounce up under him, my head thrown back and my eyes rolling back in pleasure.

He grunts over me, kissing my collarbone and scratching at my thighs enough it make it hurt but at the same time make it feel amazing.

"Is this okay?" He asks, referring to his quick, hard pace.

"Y-ye-AGH!" I half scream out the last bit as he slams directly into the bundle of nerves right there.

"Here?" He asks, slamming right back into it.

"Yes! Fuck! Gerard!" I choke out, moaning and whimpering under him. I can't help but notice how hard he's thrusting his hips into me because the mattress is squeaking under us, and the slapping of skin is easily louder than our moans.

He slams right back into my prostate at a faster pace, holding my hands above my head as I arch my back against the bunk. Another moan escapes my lips as he kisses down my neck and gyrates his hips harder against mine.

"G-Gerard, fuck. Please just touch me." I whisper needily and I'm finding my voice to octaves deeper than it usually is, making Gerard moan.

He thrusts in a couple more times before his hand is trailing down my chest and stomach to my leaking length, his hands teasing it gently.

"Gerard!" I beg out, forcing my voice even deeper in an attempt to just persuade him to jack me off.

"Jesus, Patrick." He whispers before he finally wraps his hand around my cock and begins jerking me off quickly, "How deep does your voice go?"

I look down at his and wiggle my eyebrows through the dark making him laugh as much as he can while he has his dick up my ass and begins jerking me off fast and messy.

"OH SHIT!" I shout in surprise when he slams right into my prostate again

"Shhh!" Gerard giggles into my neck, "They're going to hear you!"

"They're going to see the hickeys on my neck tomorrow anyways." I murmur between kisses.

Gerard continues to jerk me off fast while his hips slap against mine and I can feel him twitch inside of me.

It makes me twitch in his hand and we must both have the same thought because he immediately begins jerking me off faster and thrusting harder.

"Gee, 'm close." I moan, my back arching off the bed.

He bites my bottom lip, hard, enough to draw blood and... I'm not gonna lie, it's extremely hot. Hot enough to send me over the edge with hot spurts all over my shirt and causing him to come inside me in the condom.

I have to admit, it's a fairly strong orgasm. Enough to hold me out for a couple more weeks, maybe a month...? I don't know. It leaves me gasping for air, my mind blank and my hands grasping the sheets desperate for something to hold on to. Gerard pants above me, his arms shaky as he holds himself up and a long moan erupts from his mouth. Eventually, he can't hold himself up and he collapses on top of me, spent, our orgasms over and we're left twitching against each other.

"P-Patrick..." he mouths into my jaw, "So... mmm.... so good. Thank you."

I hum weakly and lean over the bunk to grab a towel and clean up my stomach while Gerard throws away the condom.

He back up into my eyes, a gentle smile shining on his face, baring his small teeth to me. I smile back.

"I... uh..." he blushes, "I should probably go..."

My smile fades.

"Stay?" I ask, it's more of a beg but I... I don't want him to just leave. In all honesty, I think I'm just scared. I don't want this to turn out as just a fuck. I want this to be more. A lot more. I want this to actually mean something. But he shakes his head in reply, lowering his chin.

"I have to go, sorry." He whispers, "Maybe we can try this again sometime?"

I nod gently but I don't want to just, 'try this again sometime.' I want this to mean something. I want... I want this to be more than it is to him. But I don't know if he feels the same way about me as I do him.

"Talk to you again soon?" He asks.

"Y-Yeah... sure..." I force a smile. He crawls off of me and I immediately miss his warmth but... I guess it's okay. He'll be back again soon for another...

Soon...