July 16th, 2005

Salt Lake City, Utah

28th day of tour

Utah State Fairgrounds

"How are we all doing today?" I ask the crowd, their screams and cheers immediately following not long after. I smile and look to Pete who nods.

"Today we'll be playing a little song you may have heard before. Here's Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy Tonight!" I shout, a few more cheers coming from the crowd.

I step back for a moment, silence filling the stage as I start off, singing the first line.

The song goes well, Andy has a couple fuckups and Joe misses a string once or twice, while I run out of breath multiple times, but otherwise it's a good show. People love us and that honestly makes me really happy.

As soon as we go backstage with water bottles and towels, I spot Gerard and Mikey leaning against the wall and talking softly. Gerard looks kind of ashamed while Mikey's trying to comfort him and I immediately decide that in a bit I'm going to ask Gerard what's wrong...

The raven haired boy looks up to meet my eyes, while Mikey immediately seeks Pete's warmth and they share a small kiss.

I take a swig of water and near Gerard, "Hey,"

"Hey," he smiles, "I think it's gonna rain tonight. The weather forecast said."

I nod with a soft smile before I pull him close, "Maybe we can do a little something after?"

He shakes his head gently, "I uh... wanted to talk to you about that..."

I tilt my head, confused.

"I wanna go into abstinence. I mean... like just for a couple weeks or so." He bites his lip, "We've been having sex near every day and I just... kinda want to take a break from this for a little bit..."

I bite my lip, "Will we still hang out?"

He smiles at me, "Of course. You're still my friend."

Friend.
"Y-Yeah." I smile falsely, "Sure, I mean, whatever you wanna do man."

He hugs me close, "thanks."

I kiss his cheek softly and pull away, "You wanna come back to the bus with me? Just for a little bit."

He nods, "Sure, but as soon as it starts raining, we're going outside."

I giggle, "Okay."

"Okay."

I kiss his nose.

"Okay."