#WIAE Chapter 10

Oh, my god. Why was this happening to me? Bakit sa lahat ng babae na magbabantay sa akin, kailangan na si Laurie pa? Ano bang kamalasan ang mayroon ako para mangyari ito? Wasn't it enough that my life was in a constant state of danger tapos pati ito, dadagdag pa? And why was Laurie even chosen? She wasn't a Quatrième! She was a Deuxième!

I wanted to ask her why, but at the same time, I was scared.

"What's your schedule for today?" Laurie asked.

Hindi agad ako makasagot. She gave me chills. Kahit na mukhang mabait naman siya dahil girlfriend siya ni Night, there was something about her that was scary... Para bang siya ang babaeng version ni Avo.

"Ah... classes lang," I meekly replied.

Laurie checked something on her iPad tapos makalipas ang ilang segundo, pinatay niya rin iyon tapos inayos niya na iyong mga gamit. Tumayo na rin ako dahil magsisimula na iyong klase ko pero nagulat ako nung mapansin ko na sinusundan ako ni Laurie.

"Wala kang class?" I asked because she kept on following me.

"Meron," she replied.

"Uhm... hindi ka papasok?"

She shook her head.

"Hala, bakit?"

Kumunot ang noo niya na para bang napaka-walang kwenta ng tanong ko sa kanya. Concerned lang naman ako dahil kahit naman kakaiba ang mundo na ginagalawan namin, alam ko naman na importante ang pag-aaral. And that's one of the reasons why I was slowly starting to appreciate—if not like—AdM... Kasi kahit na maraming kakaibang ginagawa, hindi ko naman maitatanggi na maganda talaga ang academics nila.

"I'm your slave," she answered in a as a matter of fact tone. And that was enough for me to drop the topic. She gave me the shudder, still.

Dumiretso na ako sa unang klase ko sa araw na iyon. Tuwing umaga kasi iyong mga related sa tunay na degree na kinukuha namin tapos sa hapon naman, iyong mga kakailanganin naming malaman para maka-survive kami sa mundo na ginagalawan namin. And true to what Cathy said before, I was slowly starting to enjoy the lessons—especially the shooting parts. It was calming in a weird way.

Pagpasok sa classroom, dumiretso na ako sa upuan ko. Si Laurie naman ay doon sa likod ko naupo.

"Dito ka na lang," I told Laurie dahil bakante rin naman iyong katabi ko dahil wala si Avo.

She shook her head. Tumingin ako kay Night para sana humingi ng tulong tutal girlfriend niya naman si Laurie but Night just slumped his head on the table and pretended to be asleep. Hindi ko talaga maintidihan kung ano ang nangyayari! Ni hindi ko pa nga alam kung paano naging Quatrième bigla si Laurie, e. Tapos madadagdagan pa ng pagtataka ko kung bakit parang hindi na nag-uusap si Night at Laurie.

I wanted to talk to Night dahil gusto kong magtanong tungkol kay Avo pero hindi ko naman magawa. Nakaka-ilang kasi nandito si Laurie. Ayoko naman kasi na pag-isipan niya ako ng masama.

Pagdating ng lunch time, kasama ko pa rin si Laurie. Ganito ba buong sem? Magiging awkward ako dahil hindi ako palagay sa kasama ko?

"What do you want?" Laurie asked.

"Hindi, ako na," I said.

"Boe," she said. Napa-tingin ako agad sa kanya. "Just let me do what I have to do."

And that made me shut up.

Nung umalis si Laurie, agad akong naghanap ng mauupuan. Nakita ko si Night na kumakain mag-isa. Napansin ko lang na kapag wala si Avo, hindi rin magkakasama ang mga Dieux. Na para bang si Avo ang glue na nagdidikit sa kanilang lahat. And now that he's out, they're living in their own worlds.

"Night!" I said, smiling. "Pwede kami dito?"

He nodded.

"Bakit binibilisan mong kumain?" tanong ko nung mapansin ko na halos mabulunan na siya sa bilis ng pagkain na ginagawa niya. "Iniiwasan mo ba si Laurie?"

"No."

Tapos bigla siyang nabulunan kaya inabutan ko siya ng tubig.

"You're a great shooter but not a very good liar," I told Night as I watch him down his water. "Can I ask you something?"

Pero hindi pa man ako nakakapagsimula sa itatanong ko, para bang nabasa na ni Night ang sasabihin ko kaya naman naunahan niya na ako.

"Laurie's family was massacred."

Shit.

"She lost her Deuxième status that's why she's a Quatrième now," paliwanag ni Night.

"Oh, my god. Tapos iniiwasan mo pa siya?" I couldn't help but say. Laurie must be in a lot of pain right now tapos hindi pa siya kinakausap ni Night? Paano niya nagagawa iyon? "Night naman!"

"What?" Night said. "What do you want me to do?"

"Talk to her, be there for her! She needs you!"

Night put down his utensils at saka tinignan ako. And those orbs again reminded me that Night, although he seemed cool, was still a Dieux. And they had this certain aura around them... Na kahit si Lorenzo na pinaka-tahimik at mabait sa kanila ay nakakatakot din kapag naging seryoso.

"You know what she needs? She needs to learn how to fend for herself. Now that her family's gone, she's alone. She needs to learn how to fight and she won't do that if she's around me all the time."

Napa-awang iyong labi ko sa sinabi ni Night.

"But you're her boyfriend..."

"I'm there for her. But I won't always be there."

Night looked at me. I knew he could see the disappointment in my eyes... Bakit hindi niya man lang bigyan ng panahon si Laurie? I was sure she was still mourning. If it were me, hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa ba ulit.

"If you think that every guy is like Avo, you're mistaken. Not every guy is willing to die for a girl. Not me. At least not for her."

At saka niya ako iniwan. And I believed I just saw the real Night... with his pure and unadulterated thoughts. And it didn't even scare me a bit.

--

Hindi ako maka-tingin kay Laurie. Hindi ako maka-tingin sa kanya ng hindi ko naiisip iyong mga sinabi ni Night... I mean, I knew he was right. In some points. Na totoo naman talaga na kailangan ni Laurie na matuto na tumayo sa sarili niyang mga paa lalo na ngayon at wala na pala ang pamilya niya. But should she do that abruptly? Couldn't she mourn first and be strong later? Kailangan ba na parati na lang tayong malakas?

Tutusukin ko na sana iyong pagkain ko nung biglang kunin ni Laurie sa akin.

"Bakit?" I asked.

"I'll taste it first."

"Ha?"

"If this is poisoned, Avo will kill me," she said. "Though that would be a better choice," narinig ko na bulong niya. And my heart sank for this girl again. Mas lalo lang tuloy ako nainis kay Night kahit na alam ko na wala naman akong pakielam dapat dahil buhay niya iyon.

Nung masigurado ni Laurie na safe iyong pagkain, tahimik na lang akong kumain. I figured that though I couldn't directly talk to Laurie about how she was, ang gagawin ko na lang ay magiging mabait ako para naman hindi ko na siya bigyan ng sakit ng ulo. That's the least I could do for her.

And... I didn't want her dead. Alam ko na seryoso si Avo. I could feel it. I didn't want Laurie's blood on my hands. I wanted her to live. I wanted her to heal. Alam ko kasi iyong pakiramdam ng mawalan and sometimes, it feels like you're better off dead, too. Kasi mawawalan ka ng dahilan para magpatuloy pa. And I wasn't about to give her that. She needed to live. Not for Night, not for anyone, but for herself.

Kaya naman pagkatapos noon, hindi ko na siya tinanong ng kung anu-ano kahit na marami akong gustong itanong. I'd just look out for myself para na rin sa kanya.

At para na rin sa ika-tatahimik ng pagkatao ni Avo.

"Good job, Miss Estrella," bati sa akin nung firing coach. I stifled the smile on my face—I tried, so hard, but I couldn't. Sobrang proud lang kasi ako sa sarili ko dahil for the first time since Avo taught me how to fire a gun, naka-tama na ako sa pinaka-sentro. If this wasn't a moment worth celebrating, I wouldn't know what is.

Pabalik na sana ako sa pwesto kung saan nandun si Laurie pero wala na siya doon.

"Laurie?" I called out her name pero walang sumasagot. It was weird. Nandun pa rin naman iyong gamit niya sa upuan.

Ibinaba ko muna iyong gamit ko at saka hinanap siya. Ito ang mahirap sa walang phone dito sa school, e. Ang hirap hanapin ng mga tao. Tapos kagaya nung nangyari sa akin dati, halos mamatay na ako sa sobrang lamig pero ni wala akong mahingan ng tulong dahil wala akong matawagan.

Paikot-ikot lang ako sa area dahil alam ko naman na hindi ako iiwan ni Laurie mag-isa. She made it clear that she'd look after me kaya malabo talaga na bigla na lang siyang mawawala. Papasok na sana ako sa elevator para i-check iyong second floor nung may marinig akong ingay mula sa isang kwarto.

"What? Can't talk now? Nawalan ng boses? Huh?"

I took another step closer.

"You acted all high and mighty because you're with Night tapos ngayon, you're what? The chosen slave for the sem?"

At nakarinig ako ng mga tawanan.

"Ano? Salita! Ang yabang-yabang mo noon lalo na sa mga Deuxième na kagaya namin! Like you're better than us dahil lang girlfriend ka ni Night! Well guess what? We're now better than you, you filthy Quatrième!"

At may narinig akong bumagsak. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko at bumilis ang lakad ko. Shit! Ano'ng nangyayari?! Agad kong binuksan iyong pintuan at nagulat ako nung may hawak sila na baseball bat at ipapalo kay Laurie. I didn't know what happened. I didn't know if I was even thinking nung bigla na lang akong tumakbo at saka hinarang iyong katawan ko sa harap ni Laurie.

"Shit!"

Biglang nagdilim iyong paningin ko. My head was throbbing so badly.

"Oh, my god."

Hinawakan ko iyong ulo ko at may nakita akong dugo.

"Why the f uck did you do that!" sabi ni Laurie sa tabi ko.

I was trying to breathe but my head was pounding and my eyes were betraying me.

"I'm... s-sorry..." I whispered. I didn't mean to harm myself. Natakot lang ako nung makita ko na papaluin siya nung mga babae.

"You stupid girl! I'm not even worth protecting!" sabi niya. I could see the worry in her eyes.

"I-i'll t-talk to A-avo..." I promised. I wouldn't let him hurt her.

"That's not what I'm worried about, idiot! Paano kung may mangyari sa 'yo?!" sabi niya at saka tinignan iyong mga babae. "You see what you did?! She's Avo's girlfriend!"

Hindi ko alam iyong mga sumunod na nangyari. I felt really sleepy, but I heard voices.

"Night! Help us! Si Boe!"

I wouldn't die. I knew that. I still had lots to do in this world. But... dying didn't sound so bad.

"Who did this?"

Why was it that even in my sleepy state, ang lamig pa rin ng boses niya?

"We're not doing anything wrong. We're in the same level! We're all Deuxième!"

Why wasn't it wrong? Kailan pa naging tama na manakit ng kapwa?

"Ah, I see."

That cold voice again.

"So you're saying that if I kill you, it won't be wrong since I'm above you?"

And the shiver in my spine.

"B-bakit mo 'yun gagawin? Laurie's not your girlfriend anymore!"

And then silence.

"I know."

And then I felt fear embrace the room.

"But you don't mess with the people close to me."

And then shots were fired.