There was so much more to survival than the persistence of the flesh. Long after Liv's tears had dried and her shaking stopped, her sense of self remained in tatters. She kept doubting herself, had she not been clear enough?

No, she clearly said no.

Had been leading him on?

No, she treated him like a friend.

Had she provoked it somehow? 

Glancing at the dried-up red stains on the hem of the tunic, she came to the conclusion that, no, that also hadn't been the case. Then why? Running her hands through her tattered hair, she wished for heaven and earth to somehow bring Zach there beside her. What would he say? 

"You did nothing wrong. That asshole should have never laid a hand on you." She mumbled to herself in a low voice. The words brought a smile to her lips as she imagined him turn Rome upside down until justice was served, the way he had done when a snake poisoned her at their first excavation. The doctors were more relieved that her coming to had finally shut him up.

Resting her head against the tree, she lets the noise of the world pass as if it were radio static, feeling her own soul and the condition it is in. Starting to gain a true sense of what she needed, she found her mind repeating his name like a mantra; Zach. 

He looked so shocked when she told him about her condition. He ran away when she told him of her wish and her fear, her deepest fear. Still, she missed him terribly. Rising to her feet, Liv took a deep breath and started to walk around the park, much like she and Rachel had done so many times. 'Put yourself in his shoes,' she reminded herself, and she replayed that afternoon in her head. Zach did not know what was going on until it was too late. Coming home to find her in a puddle of blood crying her eyes out, must have been terrifying. And instead of explaining what had happened, she had been going on about the child she wanted. The child she never discussed with him before. 

The thought brought her to a stand-still. How did she expect him to react to something she never discussed with him before. It was not fair to him to be put on the spot like that. She wouldn't want him to do that to her. But ever since they started this experiment, the equality that their relationship was based on seemed to evaporate, making place for the gender roles of an ancient civilization. 

Liv turned to face the rising moon, "As Aristotle alluded to, a man who does not enjoy the act of doing good deeds is not a good man." 

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"thus, for a virtue to exist as a virtue, it must stem from love, and thus love must be the supreme virtue from which all others branch," Zach mumbled to himself, sitting down on the steps of a small cavea which surrounded the training grounds. He had been mindlessly hammering away at a dummy with the dulled gladius sword. The words of Aristotle suddenly came to his mind as Liv tearful green eyes took over his imagination. She was so sad, so broken and he ran away, leaving her alone, like the coward that he was. 

"Just when I think I am the master of my thoughts, fate takes a new turn. Fears come like hands on the wheel of my life, taking me somewhere different from the place I had expected." he narrates to himself. 

Why had she never told him about her family wish? They had been together for four years, and she could have told him, right? Even though he probably wouldn't know how to answer under the best of circumstances. 

Pacing around the empty field lid up only by the light of the moon, Zach contemplated the idea. He wouldn't be opposed to it, but somehow the idea scared him. It made him doubt himself. Let's face it; he had been doing nothing but doubting himself ever since the start of this stupid experiment. Zach rubbed at his worn scalp like it was a bother to him, "Why did I ever agree to all this?"

He hated that cumbersome, scratchy toga. He hated the amount of physical labor he had to do each and every day. He hated how he had to expose his body, and strut it around like some peacock while doing nothing but swing a sword around like some brute. Not to mention that if he lost, he would be seen as less of a man. What kind of bullshit was that? 

And yet, he couldn't change anything about it. It was simply the way things were back then, and he had to accept it.

But he wasn't that man.

He wasn't the strong, bold man who enjoyed hitting stuff with a sword, nor was Liv a demure housewife. They never were those things and had always accepted that about each other, so why should this experiment change that? Their relationship was built on equality, and respect for the other, they choose to build each other up. Liv always built him up, encouraged him, and he should do the same.

He could make that choice. Choose what kind of relationship he wanted, and how he would show his love. And he wanted nothing more to support Liv in all that she did because he loved her, all of her. And no experiment could ever change that.

Elated, Zach gathered his things as he made his way to the exit, running into Amar as he walked in. "Zach, you're here early. Shouldn't you be at home with Olivia?"

"I'm going home now," Zach replied, running past the confused man as he made his way home with the rising sun leading the way. 

Total word count: 18.600