Seventeen
When I was seventeen the consequences of Riley's actions came to fruition.
— — —
To say I was nervous about going to church was an understatement. I hadn't gone in some time having managed to cook up a plethora of excuses to avoid tagging along with my parents, but when summer rolled around, I ran out of options.

There was nothing I could do to avoid our Sunday ritual which meant it was time to face my fears. Swallowing tightly, I watched as my parents left heading over to the 'adult' building while I was left in the lobby of the high school service. Under normal circumstances I would have felt comfortable within its walls but the number of eyes that settled on me made me nauseous.

Pretending not to notice them, I took up my usual spot expecting a familiar face or two to inevitably sit beside me, but no one came. Instead, I was left alone. No one approached me as if I were contagious. Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have friends that acted like we were strangers now.

Even when alone, I could see the judgment in their stares and knew the contents of their whispers. Their thoughts were undoubtedly hateful and full of things no one should ever say to another human being. Despite this, I tried to keep my chin held high, but I found myself faltering when the culprit of my pain fueled the fire from afar. Riley made his way around to familiar faces leaving his rumors behind to spread like toxic spores.

In the past I didn't care that he was part of my church. At the time he'd only been a mild inconvenience but now he was a threat, and it was  painfully obvious the pleasure he found in running his mouth. The way he spread secrets that he had no right in knowing was no different than if the Devil's tongue were doing the work for him.

Swallowing tightly, the reality of my situation settled in. I was alone in a place I was supposed to feel comfortable in. A place that'd watched me grow up from the age of six until now. But as scared as I was and as alone as I felt, I made a promise to myself I wouldn't let Riley scare me away. He didn't deserve that satisfaction.
And no matter how much I wanted to retaliate by sharing secrets of his, I didn't. I wasn't that kind of person. Reciprocating his own sentiments would only make things worse, and I couldn't afford that. With poison spewing from his mouth, I kept my distance and fought to survive the rumors. Only, as my troubles persisted Raven's did too.

There were times she reacted strangely to things that hadn't been a problem before. Certain movements made her jumpy and specific smells made her anxious. For a while I didn't understand it until she told me it made her think of Riley. That's when I understood how much he'd really damaged her in all of this. For a while she insisted, she could manage things on her own. That she was better off than before, and while I wanted to believe her I couldn't.

Then she disappeared for a prolonged period of time. At first, I thought maybe her family had gone on vacation but that was quickly debunked. It took some time before they told me she was away getting help. What that meant I wasn't sure but if it did anything beneficial so be it. All I knew was that Raven deserved something good after all she'd put herself through.

In her absence I took to drawing, recalling the old passion Tommy used to have for it. On days like today it was easy to lose myself in a sketch with the sound of rain hammering on my window. Overall, I was at peace now. Comfortable in knowing that somewhere Raven was being taken care of, Tommy was happily making his way through college with Mae, and everything was as it should be.

For the first time in years the universe let out a sigh of relief. One I was thankful for. Nevertheless, it was hard to dismiss all of my old worries and fears. Every now and then they crawled back to the forefront of my mind, and I struggled to push them aside. It was easier when I had something proper to distract me, but drawing let my mind wander too much.

All I could think about was when I first tried to go back to church. The way I was stared at and whispered about was burned into my conscience. There was no escaping it. Even at night my mind would make its way back to the hatred painted faces of old friends. Shaking my head, I attempted to refocus when my brain grew clouded with another memory. Once again it drew me into the cold confines of the high school church building where Pastor Bloom removed me from service.  At the time I tried to protest, to argue for myself, but he didn't care what I had to say.

I could tell by the twitch at the corners of his mouth he was fighting a sneer. He taught acceptance and patience, but he was ridding himself of me as if I were a tumor growing in his midst. I suppose from his point of view, I was. But what scared me the most was knowing that my parents would inevitably learn of my affiliations with Raven. Even After all the effort she'd put into sparing them, sparing me, it was all unraveling in a heartbeat just as Riley promised.

Hand trembling from a slew of repressed emotions I leaned back in my chair fixing my eyes on the ceiling and trying to think of something, anything, that was good. All that came to mind was the first storm of the season. I'd been outside trying to convince Tommy to let me redo his old bedroom when the storm caught us off guard. Rather than wallowing in self-pity at being soaked we took to playing in the rain.

It was the first time in years that I felt carefree and light. My inhibitions vanished into the shadows with each clap of thunder, and I unabashedly stomped around in puddles spraying water over the sidewalks while Tommy raced leaves down the gutter like tiny boats.  At first, I'd been minding my own business when a familiar laugh caught my attention. Glancing up I took note of Raven leaning out of her bedroom window smiling like the sun itself.

"You guys are gonna catch a cold!" She warned.

"Awe, come on! It's fun! Give it a try!" I encouraged, looking like a wet rat standing in the rain with my hair plastered to my face. Even from where I stood, I could tell Raven was rolling her eyes before retreating back inside.

Moments later she joined us in the street kicking around in the puddles and laughing until she was nearly sick. Together, the three of us did our best to splash one another while avoiding passing cars. Maybe we looked crazy but in the moment none of us cared. We were little again, seven and ten years old running around like the neighborhood was our playground with joy in our hearts and happiness clouding our thoughts.

It felt good. It was good. All of it, and it was then that I decided to cherish every little moment I had with Raven through summer. While things weren't as simple as they used to be it was worth seeing her happy. It was even better being the cause of it. Of course, this was nearly a week before Raven left. Now all I had to satiate my desire to hang out with her were memories.

Smiling to myself, I turned back to the sketch on my desk with renewed interest. The sound of my pencil etching across the paper was soothing, the noise combining with the rain as it attempted to lull me to sleep. As my eyelids grew heavy, I moved away from my desk and meandered downstairs where mom was in the middle of making dinner.

She regarded me with a warm smile and pressed a light kiss to my forehead as I inspected her work. Cornbread sat in a pan warm and buttered just waiting to be eaten. Stomach growling, I paced impatiently as she cooked until it was ready. Making myself comfortable at the table I hurried to eat what I could.

"Don't eat so fast. You'll choke," mom warned, an amused expression flashing across her face.

"I have a meeting with Pastor Wilks at seven," I explained, taking note of the time.

"Is it to get permission for adult services?" Dad asked, chewing intently.

"Something like that," I lied. Swallowing a bite of cornbread, I avoided eye contact knowing they'd be able to identify my half-truth if they tried hard enough.

"I can drive you if you'd like," Mom offered, dusting a few crumbs off her hands with a napkin, "and put in a good word for you. You're mature enough that it shouldn't be a problem. I mean, you're seventeen for crying out loud."

"No, that's okay. Thank you though," I insisted, trying not sound too enthusiastic about refusing her help. "This is something I have to do alone. It'll look more mature that way."

"If you insist," mom chuckled, her attention turning to dad as she asked him about his day. Under normal circumstances I would have felt a little left out but at least now they were paying less attention to me.

Scarfing down the remnants of my dinner, I made my way through the garage to the car and set out for church. It didn't take me long to get there despite the pounding rain. Once there I did my best to get inside as quick and as dry as possible. Ducking through the doorway, I shook off the rain that clung to my clothes and ventured deep into the confines of the chapel.

The building itself was part of the overall campus but it was smaller and old in design. Everything else was modern and square in comparison without a single window in sight. Here, stain glassed murals decorated large sections of framework. Even the moonlight reflected rainbows of color on the wooden floor in bright streaks.

Feeling an aura of calm wash over me, I rounded the corner ready to meet Pastor Wilks at the pew when a series of voices caught my attention. Both of them I knew.

"And do you believe in God at all? That he could help you in all of this?" Pastor Wilks asked, his voice gentle and genuine.

"No," Raven replied. "I don't."

"Then why have you come here every Sunday to pray?" Pastor Wilks questioned, a hint of surprise in his tone.

"Because Thea believes. Because she feels like praying works," Raven admitted, followed closely by a sigh. "I guess part of me thinks that if I pray hard enough the God she thinks is real will help. That maybe whatever power is out there will help her when all they've done is ignore me."

"That's very admirable of you," Pastor Wilks chuckled, his laugh warm and encouraging. "You know, you've come a long way since we started meeting."

"You're the first person other than Thea I've felt comfortable enough talking to. I don't trust religious people very easily," Raven warned, a hint of apology in her voice.

"I can understand that," Pastor Wilks conceded. As a moment of silence settled over the room, I decided it was time to announce my arrival. Taking a shaky breath I rounded the corner attempting to look as natural in my approach as possible.

"I'm not interrupting am I?" I asked, voice somewhat shaky. As soon as my words echoed across the expanse of space Raven's head snapped up as she turned to look at me with wide vulnerable eyes.

"Not at all, you're right on time," Pastor Wilks mused, his gaze flicking between Raven and I. "My goodness it must be pouring outside for the both of you to be as soaked as you are. Remind me to give you an umbrella when you leave."

"Thanks," I smiled, moving to sit beside Raven on one of the hard wooden benches. It was then that I noticed a few particular changes about her. The first being the completely healed wounds on her arm. There weren't any new scabs or cuts. Instead, a large sun was tattooed across her more damaged forearm. It looked healed for the most part but still incredibly new.

"You know what?" Pastor Wilks grinned, "why don't I leave the both of you alone."

"What about-." I started.

"That can be for another time. For now, I think the both of you should talk. It seems like there's some catching up to do." With a kind wink and a fatherly glow about him, Pastor Wilks stood, dusted his hands on his pants, and made his way to the building's office.

Clearing her throat, Raven regarded me a bit awkwardly. She bounced her leg up and down nervously as a shiver raced down her spine. It occurred to me then how chilly the room was. Of course, it didn't help that we were both soaked to the core.

"You got a tattoo," I noted, "it looks nice."

"Thanks," Raven smiled thinly, instinctively letting her hand settle over it. While I never would have gotten a tattoo, it looked good on her pale skin.

"Why'd you get it?" I asked, wondering if she'd ever discussed getting a tattoo before.

"It reminded me of you," Raven noted.

"Really?" I asked, feeling a familiar warmth spread through my chest.

"Yeah," Raven nodded eagerly. "You're my Sunshine. I figured if I got something that reminded me of you in the place I like to cut up the most then I wouldn't want to do that anymore. So far, it's worked. Well, that and therapy. I'm living with my uncle for the time being since it's closer. He doesn't really know how to help but he does his best. I appreciate it."

"That's awesome. I'm glad you're getting help. It feels weird to say, but I'm proud of you. It's not easy. I can tell." Despite how much healthier Raven looked she still appeared to be quite drained. I got the feeling that she still struggled to keep from hurting herself and that whatever emotional baggage she was working through had drastically altered her sleep schedule.

"It feels good though. I like feeling more like my old self. I don't think I'll ever get her back completely but that's okay. Besides, I only have another week of sessions so I can't be to upset. They're just doing a bunch of evaluations to document my progress. Like a comparison of sorts...which reminds me that I have paperwork to drop off before I head back to my uncle's, "  Raven noted, wiping her hands on her wet pants.  Her eyes settled on the carefully carved wooden statue of Jesus resting in front of the podium. While she didn't say anything I could see the wheels turning in her head.

"Whatever you're thinking you can tell me," I promised, nudging her lightly with my elbow. "Trust me, Jesus has heard all sorts of things. It can't be that bad."

"I know," Raven sighed. "I just, I told Pastor Wilks about us. About everything. I expected him to hate me like everyone else, but he didn't and now I'm confused. He said that it was okay for you to like me. To be with me. That you could still go to church and date me too, but it doesn't make sense. Don't you have to choose?"

It was a question I'd spent countless hours contemplating myself. What I hadn't realized was that I'd inadvertently come to a decision a long time ago. Pursing my lips, I did my best to formulate my complex thoughts into something relatively concise. "I'll always choose you Raven, but I don't think that means I have to give up my beliefs. I think I'm okay with that. Even if everyone else isn't."

"But why?" Raven frowned. "I'm not...good. I'm a lot of work and a lot of pain. The things I've done, they don't fit with what you believe. I don't fit with what you believe."

"You've always fit what I believe," I insisted, aware of the pain in her features. She looked like she wanted to hide. Like she wanted to vanish into the shadows and never come out. "I've never seen anyone else love other people as much as you do. If that doesn't fit what I believe in, then I don't believe in love."

With a shaky sigh Raven nodded slowly, her head bowing as if she were in prayer. Her shoulders trembled and I knew it wasn't from the cold this time. Taking her hand in my own, I held it tightly as her cold fingers shook. She hid behind her other hand, but I could see the slow fall of tears decorate the floor.

"I just don't understand how you're still here," she admitted, words short and labored. "You should have given up on me and left a long time ago. Especially after everything with Riley."

It was then that some sort of aura washed over me leaving behind feelings of compassion and gentleness. It existed somewhere between intense love and pity. Closing my eyes, I leaned forward to settle my forehead against hers, aware of the hitch in her breathe.

"I am never ever going to give up on you Raven," I whispered, unsure if she could hear me. "Besides, you've always been really bad at getting rid of me. I'm like a leech."

A faint laugh broke through the flurry of tears and when she looked at me a familiar shine ignited in her eyes. A smile tugged at the edges of her lips as she wrestled down the rest of her tears. Her cold hands framed my face as she closed her eyes, a tiny laugh returning.

"Raven?" I asked, feeling my heart hammer sporadically in my chest. Despite myself I couldn't keep my mind from racing and my feelings from getting the best of me. Up until this point, we hadn't talked about what our plans were moving forward. We hadn't discussed what our relationship was, or what we wanted it to be. Part of me was terrified that if I did the wrong thing now, I'd be back at square one.

"Yeah?" She hummed, her breathing finally regulating.

"I love you." For a second I worried that I'd scare her away like I had before, but in that moment I couldn't stop myself from speaking.

"I love you too," she admitted, her  blue eyes whole again as the shattered glass they used to be was pieced together again . Nodding, I went to pull away, not wanting to cross any sort of line when her lips found mine and the warmth of the kiss contrasted painfully with the cold of her hands.

I wish I could say I felt a little bit of shame kissing her back while sitting in the pew beneath Jesus' warm smile and out spread hands, but I didn't. I wish I could say I felt sick for holding her so close beneath the cross as lightning ignited stained glass windows, but I didn't. I wish I could say I hated every second of it as rainbow shapes danced across wooden floors with claps of thunder accompanying them, but I didn't. I didn't wish a single thing that night because there was nothing to wish for. I had it all right then and there.

Time seemed to last for an eternity and no matter how much I wanted to I couldn't let go of her. I think some small part of me was scared that I'd imagined everything that had just happened. That I'd wake up from a dream and she'd be gone again. What I didn't realize was that in my stupor I'd started to cry. Whatever strain and tension had existed between us was washed away.

With a deep sigh, Raven retreated, her hands lingering as her gaze settled on the smiling visage of Jesus. Her expression softened and I got the impression that whatever distrust she'd had in him before was gone. He hadn't struck us down after all.

"I should go," Raven admitted, her hands dropping away from my face. She stood abruptly; eyes fixated on the stained-glass windows. "If I don't leave now,  I'll never get to the clinic in time."

"I can drop you off. You walked, right?" I asked, knowing that unless Raven had a ride she resorted to skateboarding or walking. Her family couldn't afford another car.

"Yeah," she nodded, tucking her hands into her coat pockets.

"Great. Let me say bye to Pastor Wilks really quick. I'll meet you outside. Here are the keys." Tossing Raven the car keys I made my way down the adjoining hallway. Pausing at a painfully plain door I tapped my knuckles lightly upon its surface. After a moment of silence, Pastor Wilks eased it open as if he were afraid of disturbing someone. "Raven and I are heading out. Thanks for looking after her. It means a lot."

"I'll never turn anyone away, Thea. You know that. I was lost once too. Everyone, no matter who they are deserves kindness. It's not our place to deny them that. Besides, she has a good heart. She just needs to believe in herself a little more," Pastor Wilks encouraged, his smile gentle and kind. "If anyone can help her with that it's you."

"You give me too much credit," I blushed.

"No, I'm giving you the credit you deserve. You're exactly as every one of us should be. Take care of her, okay?" He smiled warmly, settling a fatherly hand on my shoulder. "Now, get going. You don't want to be out too late. And be careful driving in the rain. You know I worry."

"I will." Maybe it was impulsive to hug him as tightly as I did but I couldn't help it. He hesitated for a moment before returning the hug with a soft hum. Stepping away, I wandered through the chapel once more.

The dancing lights that shot through stained windows with each strike of lightning were mesmerizing but what really caught my attention were the lines of water running down the face of Jesus. Glancing up at the ceiling I noticed a small leak where raindrops methodically trickled onto the wooden carving's head to run down his cheeks. Pausing, I regarded the image feeling something stir deep within my chest. It wasn't like him to weep, but the smile on his face indicated something other than sadness. He was happy.

With shaking hands, I ran my thumbs over his cheeks like one would a child, erasing the tears before they could fall. "Thank you for bringing her back to me."

Maybe it was stupid to leave a light kiss on his thorn crowned head, but I did. Turning on my heel, I left the weeping prince behind and ventured out into the rain. It fell harder than before but it wasn't cold this time. The sky's gentle touch was warm and enticing.

Settling in the running car, I carefully pulled away from the chapel parking lot and navigated the roads leading away from campus until we were free of its confines. The hum of the radio was soft and mildly distorted. I suspected the weather had something to do with that.
Listening to Raven's soft-spoken instructions it didn't take us long to arrive at our destination. She stared out the window with quiet resignation. I could only imagine how difficult it was to walk inside a place like that. It would be impossible not to feel judged or even embarrassed.

"Just another week, right?" I asked, nudging her ever so slightly. "It'll be over in no time."

Her silence persisted and for a moment I worried she was regretting what'd happened at church until she turned back to me with intense worry painting her features.

"I'm not seeing things, am I?" She asked, trying to clear condensation off the window to get a better look at whatever had alarmed her. "Is that Riley?"

My heart stopped. For a brief moment in time, I'd forgotten about that rotten boy's existence. It seemed he had a habit of reminding me he was very much real at the most inopportune moments. Leaning over, I followed Raven's gaze searching for the familiar individual. Sure enough, she was right.

"Did he know you were going to be here tonight?" I asked, trying to keep my worry at bay.

"No. No one knew but my uncle," Raven replied, hands trembling ever so slightly.

"Hang on." Reaching into my pocket I pulled out my phone and passed it over to Raven. "Stay here and call my dad. I'm going to try to see what's up. At the very least I'll give him a chance to explain what he's doing."

"Are you kidding me? Thea-" Raven protested, but against my better judgment I'd already clambered out of the car.

Pausing, I collected myself as much as possible before approaching him. Thankfully, he didn't notice my arrival. Instead, he stood staring at the building with a glazed look in his eyes. It wasn't hard to tell that he wasn't in his right mind.

"Riley?" I called, voice barely managing to carry over the rain. His head snapped up at the sound of my voice and his glassy eyes settled on me in an instant.

"Of course, you'd show up," he muttered, tucking his hands in his pockets. "You always have such impeccable timing."

"Funny, I had the same feeling about you." My retort fell on deaf ears and albeit nervous I got close enough to him so that I didn't have to yell anymore. "Do you need help getting home? Can you call someone or do you want to go inside?"

"Home? If you knew anything about me, you'd know that isn't an option," he scoffed, brushing aside his brown bangs.

"Look, I'm not going to pretend that we're friends and I'm not going to pretend to know what you've been through but there's help just behind those doors. Help that doesn't involve dumping your emotional baggage on other people." For a moment, I felt a small pang of pity for him, but it quickly vanished as he turned to face me. His eyes were red from crying and his stare was unnervingly unsteady.

"You don't get it do you?" He frowned. "You've ruined everything in my life. Things were good when I had Raven. Then you show up and shit hits the fan. My dad laughs at me, my friends mock me, and no one will even look at me."

"And you think that's my fault?" I asked, taking a step back as his temper flared. "Riley, those people aren't your friends. They've been manipulating you for years. You see it now and it hurts. I get it. "
"How? How could you possibly understand? You get everything you want. You get a good home, a good family, good friends, and Raven. What do I get? Morning," he sneered, nostrils flaring. With a low scoff he wiped furiously at his eyes, pacing agitatedly back and forth.

"Look Riley, I don't want to get into it with you and I don't think you want to do something you'll regret. If you go home, I'll talk to you properly. If what you really want is to sort all of this out, I'll give you that opportunity," I insisted, watching as he walked in aimless circles.

In truth, I didn't want to talk things out with him. There was nothing he could do or say that justified the way he'd treated Raven, but I needed him to leave. For Raven's sake more than mine.

"I'm not leaving until she talks to me," he decided, stopping suddenly and turning to face the car. "I know she's with you. She's always with you."

"That's not going to happen, Riley. You know that," I frowned, stepping into his field of view.

"And how can you be sure of that?" He demanded, pushing past me and making his way towards the car as a set of headlights rounded the corner. I tried to match his stride, but he was quick. It didn't take him long to reach the car. Before he could tear open the door, Raven scrambled from the passenger's seat into the driver's seat and out the other side.
Even from where I was, I could see how scared she was.

"Riley, please don't." She pleaded, her gaze settling on me for a moment as Deja Vu hit me like a truck. All I could think about was the last charged encounter Raven and Riley had. How he'd punched her without a second thought.

"I just want to talk," he insisted struggling to match Raven's hurried pace as she stepped up beside me. "Please, I need you."

"No, you don't," Raven retorted, taking my hand and pulling me towards the building, her paperwork in it's little plastic bag falling to the side. With each step she kept her eyes on Riley studying him like prey does a predator. It occurred to me then that as scared as she was, she was trying to protect me. She was trying to keep as much space between Riley and I as possible. "Riley you're not sober right now. I can tell. I know you and I know that you don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do! Please, just fucking listen to me!" He pleaded, hands balling into fists. "Give me another chance. I can change. I just need time. I-I don't want to be alone. You know how scared I am when I'm alone."

"You're right. I get it, but I can't help you," Raven replied, her hold on me tightening as Riley struggled to calm down. It was clear that Raven had some sort of soothing effect on him, but his emotions were too out of hand for him to process them.

"Like what? Therapy? Come on Raven, if you think those people are actually helping you, they aren't. They're collecting a paycheck!" He bellowed, bottom lip trembling.

"That's not true," Raven protested.

"Come on, you can't be this fucking stupid. Think! How many people end up here over and over again?" Riley asked, moving forward much quicker than I would have expected. He nearly had Raven by the shoulders when a loud voice cut into the conversation.

"Back away from my girls now!"

Admittedly, I'd never seen my dad look so angry before. He stood in the parking lot drenched to the core; hair plastered to his face in multiple directions with an expression of repressed anger. His eyes shown dangerously as a flash of lightning arched across the sky and the muscles in his jaw twitched causing shadows to frame his once gentle features.

"Your girls?" Riley asked, his attention shifting to my father as Raven backed further away. "Raven's not even yours!"

"Damn right she is! Now get back in your car before you regret showing up here in the first place," Dad glowered, voice rough and husky as he walked steadily towards us.

"Or what? You think I can't take an old man?" Riley frowned, his entire frame trembling in a strange spastic sort of way. He was breaking down in a way I'd never seen before. In a way that scared me.

"Listen son, I get it. You're hurt, but this isn't what you want to do. I can get you help. I have resources, but if you don't do what I'm telling you to this is going to end poorly for you," Dad warned, flexing his fingers as if prepping for a fight.

"Riley, listen to him," Raven insisted, somehow keeping her voice even.

The tall worn-out boy glanced between the girl he thought he loved and my father. Whatever energy had been coursing through his veins vanished all at once and his anger was replaced with something far crueler.

"You want to protect them? Fine, but before you commit to that idea, you should know that your perfect Christian daughter has been whoring around with the neighbor," Riley muttered, eyes settling on me with a hate that made my skin crawl. "She didn't tell you, did she? Guess I'm not surprised."

I watched in horror as Riley turned curtly on his heel and staggered off into the darkness of the parking lot. The damage he'd wanted to inflict on Raven was effectively redirected to me.
The silence that followed suit was suffocating. For a while nothing happened until my father approached. I couldn't read his expression and that scared me more than Riley had.

"Dad I-." He held up a hand cutting me off.

"It's okay," he promised, settling a light hand on Raven's shoulder. "Come on. Let's get you inside."

I watched as he picked up the bag of papers and escorted her through the rest of the parking lot to the building. They made their way to the front desk, visible through a set of glass doors. From there my dad talked animatedly to the receptionist making gestures back towards the parking lot. Eventually he calmed down, turned back to Raven, and pulled her into a tight hug. I don't know what they said to each other, if they said anything at all, but I could tell she needed the hug.

Letting out a sigh, I made my way back to the car. Sliding into the driver's seat I placed my key in the ignition. With a small shudder the car came to life. As the headlights flickered on a tapping sounded at the window. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

Biting nervously at my bottom lip I rolled the window down as my father leaned down to look at me. The sound of rain hitting the pavement was the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. I knew what was coming. He was going to disown me. Hate me. Maybe even worse.

"Hey," he spoke gently, his eyes earnest, "are you okay?"

"Been better," I admitted, swallowing tightly.

"Me too. I don't like threatening people, but he threatened you first." Dad sighed heavily, running a hand down his face and shaking away the rain on his hand. "I'll see you at home. I'm taking Raven to her uncle's. Then we can talk about what happened. Be safe kiddo."

With that, he stepped away from the car. Part of me was relieved but the other part of me was still full of dread. With the radio playing softly I tried my best to focus on positive thoughts, but it was entirely too easy to be sucked into a state of worry and fear.

In all honesty, I couldn't tell you how I got home I just knew that I did. Wandering into the house I made my way upstairs eager to peel off my soaked clothing. Standing in the shower with hot water racing over me I fought off the urge to cry. For once everything that'd happened was catching up to me.

Leaning against the wall I stayed put until the water ran cold and I was forced to step out of the pseudo cage. Taking my time to dress for bed, I grudgingly made my way back downstairs to find both of my parents waiting for me. I noticed that dad had also showered and changed. Taking my place at the kitchen counter I faced them both as best as I could.

"Tell us what happened. Start from the beginning," Mom insisted. With a shaky breath I told them all that I could. From my drive to the chapel to the incident with Riley. I did my best to stay away from more private details but the more I talked the more I found myself getting nervous. By the end I was trembling from head to toe and try as I might, I couldn't get it to stop.

"About what Riley said-," I started, unable to meet my father's eyes.

"We know, Thea." He reached out hesitantly to settle a hand on my shoulder. "We've known for a while. It's okay. You don't have to be scared, honey. We love you."

Despite myself, I became a mess of tears. It was relieving to have the biggest secret I'd ever kept out in the open, but it was still scary. There were so many things that could change now. Maybe they did love me, that's what parents did, but that also didn't keep parents from turning against their kids.

"I'm so sorry," I cried, hiding behind my hands.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for," Mom assured as dad pulled into a tight hug. For a moment I felt like I was six again. Just the smell of my dad's shirt was calming enough to help break up my sobs.

"Thea, it's okay. I promise," Dad whispered, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"But Pastor-"

"I don't care what anyone at church says," Dad frowned, pulling back from the hug. "You believe in God, don't you?"

"Of course!" I nodded, wiping hurriedly at my tears.

"And what does God say about each of us?" He continued.

"That he loves us. That we were made in his image," I stammered.

"Yes, and that he doesn't make mistakes," Dad smiled faintly. "Which means he made you exactly as you are for a reason. Perfect and whole like all things."

"I wish I could believe that," I admitted, my gaze settling on the tiled floor.

"Thea," Dad chuckled lightly, taking my face in his hands and staring at me with all the love in the world. "You know who you are. Be that person. Don't change because it feels like the whole world is asking you to."

"I don't know if I can do that." I admitted.

"You can. You'll always have us right there with you," Mom promised. "We protected your brother from a church that wanted him thrown onto the streets. We aren't afraid to protect you. We aren't afraid to do it all over again."

"And Raven?" I asked.

"We'll protect her too," Dad promised. "I meant what I said earlier. She's a daughter to me too. Just like you are to her parents."

Nodding, I couldn't help but fall into my dad's arms again. He held me tightly once more as mom joined in. For the first time in a long time, I felt impossibly safe. I wasn't hiding or scared. I was comforted and warm.

That night as I lay in bed listening to my dad explain everything to Mr. and Mrs. Moreau over the phone, I thought about Raven. I pictured her alone in some plain boring room at her uncle's house trying to fall asleep. While my dad had given her a hug before he'd left, I felt guilty for feeling so loved when she was so alone. Closing my eyes, I tried to shake away the melancholy image with a promise that as soon as Raven was home again, she'd never feel unloved. Not if I could help it.

With a short longing gaze over to my bedroom window, half expecting her to be there, I fell asleep with a bit of hope and a bit of comfort that after all this time things were finally going to work out. The sun would get her moon again. That much I was certain of.