Chapter Eighteen

Twenty-Three

Now I am twenty-three.

***

By now I had graduated college in the company of Lorenzo and Raven. Tommy and Mae had moved yet again, this time out of state. Mom and Dad still lived in the same old house they'd bought years ago with the Moreaus just next door. At some point, Lorenzo got a dog and he too moved out of state. Raven's Uncle returned momentarily after his long voyage across the United States. After a brief time spent catching up with Raven, he ventured out again chasing the same old feeling he had before, a sense of belonging. When he left, he gave the house to Raven. She spent a long time living alone before inviting me to join her. When I did, we spent a lot of time making it a place for ourselves. One that felt more like a home than a temporary residence.

Despite her company, things felt quite a bit different. I wasn't used to missing Lorenzo so much. I wasn't used to being hundreds of miles away from my brother either. If it weren't for Raven's constant presence, I was certain I'd have slipped into something of a depressive state. Eventually, the melancholy air that clouded my way of life dissipated. I visited Tommy when I could and spoke to Lorenzo when time permitted. On occasion Raven and I ate dinner with our parents but even that was rare. Work was something we didn't expect to consume so much of our time and energy.

Raven found her calling in being a teacher. She became something of a confidant to the kids she taught. She saw them as they were including their flaws and took their bad says with their good. I followed in my father's footsteps finding a career in counseling and psychology. It was more fulfilling than I could have imagined, being able to help people in all walks of life. What I hadn't prepared for was not only falling in love with a career but finding myself enthralled by the person Raven was becoming. Every day she seemed to transform into something more beautiful than I could imagine.

She talked about her students with love and respect. She laughed at their barely intelligible essays and horrible misspellings, finding joy in the unknowingness of youth. She hated math but by God she would go out of her way to help anyone that struggled with it. More importantly, she never left anyone hungry or in need. Even if it meant one night's dinner was made of Ramen noodles.

Her smile was sincere, and her eyes had softened from their cold demeanor. She embraced her interests as nerdy as they were without shame. Everything that had once left her humiliated now gave her strength. She kept up with Star Wars and read comics in her free time. She insisted on organizing the collectibles she had on distinct shelves and made sure they were never dirty. Everything about her existed in full force.

It made me fall in love with her all over again.

So much so that I found myself imagining a future with her beyond anything I had before. I wanted to know her for the rest of my life. I wanted to fall in love over and over again with every version of her that came to life. There was never a moment where I was bored of her or uninterested. When she was in the room my attention fell solely on her. She walked with grace and purpose. Smiled with intent and spoke with conviction. There was a confidence in her that I had long missed.

I'm not sure when I came to this conclusion, but I wanted to marry her, and I intended to do so. Which brings me to a particularly sunny day spent on the beach. Raven and I had made our way to Tommy and Mae's where little Olive was now teetering around. Lorenzo joined us a few days later. Together, we all made our way to the beach, which wasn't too far of a walk. It offered us a good amount of time to meet Tommy's newest child, a golden retriever named Babe (short for Babe Ruth). Lorenzo's Australian Shepherd, fondly named Penguin, took a liking to Babe immediately. Lorenzo was quite pleased by this, having worried that Penguin would live her life without any friends. A life he had feared would happen to him.

***

Once at the beach, Raven, Lorenzo and I were quick to discover that Oliver and Babe enjoyed the sand. Together, they made sure to fling it on anyone and anything. Lorenzo wasn't thrilled about this, stating that sand was particularly irritating and abrasive. He did, however, put up with it for Olive's sake. Aside from this discovery, I was surprised to find that Olive had grown quite a bit since the last time I'd seen her. Like her mother, she wasn't afraid of letting people know what she thought. She would make facial expressions that told you exactly what she was thinking, a trait courtesy of her mother.

With Babe in tow, followed closely by Raven, Olive made her way to the waterline where she promptly planted her butt in the water. Splashing around as Babe tried to catch water in his mouth, Tommy set up camp as Mae joined Olive at the shoreline. Laying out a set of beach towels and plunging an umbrella into the ground, Tommy claimed a spot for himself and gestured for me to join him as Lorenzo hesitantly took Penguin to the shoreline. She'd never been introduced to the ocean before, and Lorenzo had pre-emptively bought her a doggie life vest just in case.

"Her name is Penguin. She'll be just fine!" Raven encouraged, beckoning Lorenzo forward. The joke was enough to ease Lorenzo's worries and he let Penguin loose.

"You still haven't asked her yet, have you?" Tommy smiled, arching a brow from behind his sunglasses as Penguin plunged into the water.

"I'm nervous!" I protested. Every time I'd considered popping 'the question' something had come up. The moment hadn't felt right.

"You can't wait forever you know," Tommy encouraged, settling a hand on my shoulder. The touch alone was enough to still my nerves.

"I know," I admitted, painfully aware of the small velvet box tucked away in my pocket. "For now, I think I'm just going to enjoy the moment."

"Fair enough," Tommy sighed, leaning back, and watching everyone with the pensive expression of a father. "It is a pretty beautiful sight, isn't it?"

From where I sat, nestled close to my brother, the sun was setting on the horizon painting the ocean in oranges and pinks. The splash of color was a mesmerizing backdrop of mixed hues and swirling clouds. Babe sat staring out at the ocean, panting from exertion, fur damp and dripping water. Mae stood beside him with a hand scratching at his ears. With each flex of the fingers, Babe's tail beat against the sand with a soft thump. Olive stood sandwiched between her mother and Raven with chubby legs wobbling ever so slightly. One of Olive's pudgy hands was extended upwards gripping Raven's tightly in her own. Lorenzo held Penguin in his arms, bright orange life vest blending in with the sunset as Raven brushed sand out of Lorenzo's hair.

Everything that had made a difference in my life was right here on this beach. Everything that mattered was finally in one place again.

"Tommy?" I asked, sparing my brother a glance.

"Yeah?" He hummed, a soft smile gracing his face.

"I'm really glad we moved," I admitted, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"Me too," Tommy nodded. "Me too."

In another universe, six-year-old Thea never would have lived the life I had. She would have been alone, unfamiliar with a Hispanic boy that loved Sharks and had particular tendencies. She would have been unfamiliar with a dark-haired girl that didn't believe in God but went to church anyways. She would have been unfamiliar with a beautiful brown skinned woman that was kind, strong, and intelligent. She would have been unfamiliar with her own brother, never knowing that he had found peace. She never would have met Olive.

Most of all, she would have been unfamiliar with the person I am today: a girl who found love in all the places it refused to grow, both in herself, and others.