(Julie’s p.o.v.)

He stormed in the bathroom. I almost had a heart attack.

“J.D! You can’t be here. Get out.”

“So you weren’t planning on telling me?"

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb. Are you crazy Julie? I had to hear it from Johnny after he forced it out of Angie.”

Damn her. Damn them.

“Listen I know it seems…” I started calmly but he kept on yelling.

“What were you thinking? Telling my parents? OR YOURS? You have no idea what you’ve gotten your self into and you don’t have rights to make those kinds of decisions.”

Fury came rushing in me.

“Excuse me but you weren’t the one that was threaten. You think I asked Steven to tell me that he might kill me. I’m seventeen. I don’t need this bullshit in my life. And nether do you. Do you plan on going working for him? What are they? A mob? Are you going to deal drugs to kids? Are you going to rape or kill? Maybe deal guns? Have you lost your mind…”

“You got way out of line; do you really think I would do something like that?”

“You were working for him once. How should I know, what were you doing before. Don’t you want a better life? Without them. Don’t you want a career as a lawyer? You can’t have that if you go back there.”

“I am not going to work for him. I’m tired of him and I wanted to get rid of him my way. There is no need for our parents to know that. I told you I will protect you…”

“You are playing with fire. J.D you can’t do this on your own. You’re not in a movie. This is reality. How do you know what they will do to you? What they will do to me? I don’t care if you don’t want me to, I’m telling my parents. They’ll deal with this.”

He grabbed my shoulder shaking me.

“Don’t you dare tell them.”

“I am sick and tired of you telling me what to do.” I tried to push him away. “This is for our own good.”

He let go of me cursing.

“Fine. You know what? Tell them. I don’t care. My parents won’t care. I’ll deny it and your parents can do what ever they want.”

“You’re such an asshole. Why are you doing this?”

Two girls came in the bathroom. Me and J.D yelled in the same time get out.

“I am done with you.” He yelled. “You think your parents will protect you? Fine. But I’m done.”

“You are one selfish idiot.” I yelled as I held my tears back and my throat was burning. “You can’t do this on your own. Will you just listen to me? Let me explain.”

“I don’t want to listen. I might go to jail if you tell anyone. Don’t you get that you are the selfish one. Do you want me gone so badly?”

“I just want to help you. You are not going to jail. We can fix this…”

“There is nothing to fix. You’ll make everything worse. You don’t know anything.”

He tried to walk out but I pulled him back. Angry he pushed me on the wall.

“You were stupid enough to get into this. Be smart enough and get out.” I whispered.

“You’re one spoiled brat.” He glared madly at me. His voice was dangerous and he pushed me too hard on the wall. “I don’t care that you think you’re right. I am getting the hell away from you. You obviously don’t care about anyone else but yourself.”

Suddenly he pushed me harder on the wall and his lips were crushing mine. His tongue was inside my mouth. It was the first time I have ever felt something like that. It was a deep bruising kiss filled with anger and lust. I moaned under his lips. The kiss was rough and hard. My knees were going week. My heart was beating so loud I could almost hear it.  And then he pulled away with the angry look on his face.

“I got what you owed me, now you can go fuck yourself.”

He walked out of the bathroom and left me alone. He left…he… I leaned down and sat on the cold ground. Tears started pouring down my face and I didn’t do anything to stop them. It was ruined. My first kiss was ruined. And it happened in a school’s bathroom ending with go fuck yourself. My friendship with him was ruined. Everything is ruined. It’s crushed. Dust…vanished. I sobbed and I cried my eyes out. He yelled and I yelled at it was horrible. I messaged Angie and Kayla to come in the schools bathroom immediately. I needed them. I needed to pour my heart out to someone. It was too much. I couldn’t handle it anymore. The worst part is that even if I want to I can’t take anything back.

Angie and Kayla stormed into the bathroom and caught me on the floor hugging my knees.

“Julie what’s wrong?”

I tried to say something but I couldn’t catch my breath. I just kept crying and crying. Pain was aching in my chest and I couldn’t stop it. It hurts so much. Make it stop. It’s like a knife cutting deeper and deeper into my chest…into my heart.

“Let’s get you out of here?”

We left school and we went at Angie’s. She had a tree house in her backyard that we always used when we were little. Even though that house now belonged to her little sister we climbed the tree and got into the house. It was built for her fifth birthday and we spent a lot of time making it perfect. Every time something was wrong we would just come here and cried and then eat cookies and laugh.

 We sat on the huge amount of pillows and they waited for me to calm down. I was still crying. I couldn’t stop myself on the way here, why should a stop now.

“Julie…” Angie started. “What happened in there?”

Tears started falling again and again but at least I could speak now. Kind off.

“ He…he…”

“Use words Julie. I need you to use words.” Angie and Kayla both hugged me.

“He ruined it. It’s done. I can’t take it back. He ruined everything.”

“J.D?” Kayla asked. I nodded my head and I pressed my hands to my eyes to calm my self but I couldn’t. These damn tears just kept falling.

“What did he ruin?” Angie held my hand. “Tell me Julie.”

“He kissed me.”

Angie and Kayla looked at each other. “We had a fight and then he kissed me.”

I remembered me hitting the wall and then his lips on mine…More tears…

“What happened later?” Kayla was looking worried.

“He told me to go fuck myself.”

There it was. Reality hurts like a bitch. Nothing was perfect.

Angie and Kayla knew that I have never kissed a boy. They knew that I have waited so long just for the perfect timing and the perfect guy…I waited for the first kiss to be perfect. I wanted it to be with him but not like this…

“Maybe it was meant to be…maybe…” Angie started but I stopped her.

“He told me to go and fuck myself Angie. How do you go back from that? I am seventeen and I waited this long just so it can be perfect…damn it. You both knew how much I wanted my first kiss to be…rememberable. I wanted for myself to be able to tell my daughter one day that my first kiss was special and that she would get her first kiss as special as mine. What can I say now? I got kissed in a fucking school’s bathroom by a guy that told me to go fuck myself later.”

“Julie is just a kiss it’s not your first time with a guy or anything. Chill…”

“You don’t understand. If this was so bad that will be worse. I can’t…I can’t do this. It’s over. I can just go and make out with anybody right now and it won’t mean anything to me.”

“Did the kiss mean something?”

As Kayla asked that question I felt my tears burning and my heart was so heavy in my chest that I couldn’t breathe. It did. It meant everything to me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted a kiss with him so badly. I really wanted that kiss perfect. But this…now…after he just broke my heart in million pieces. Could I forgive myself for letting me fall so low? For letting my self fall for him? I was shredded to peaces. I wanted to scream just so I could have the pain from my chest removed. I want to hate him. I want to hate him so much but right now I can only hate the fact that he ruined everything and I won’t let myself being humiliated too.

“Not anymore.”

My life became one big drama. People were threatening me, I lost the guy I love…Yes... I fell for him. Hard. I actually fell in love with him and today I had my first kiss which ended in tears. I went from bad to worse.

Kayla and Angie just sat in the silence with me for a while. Then they brought cookies and we talked about cartoons and movies until the evening. I called my mum to tell her I was staying over at Angie’s and we fell asleep hugging little teddy bears.

They didn’t mention J.D once and I was thankful. The problem was, how was I, going to face reality tomorrow.

“Julie…Julie, wake up. We need to go to school.”

I opened my eyes to see Angie standing over my head trying to wake me up. The moment of peace I had was gone when the memories came back running.

“But Angie…I don’t wanna…”

“Come on, get up.” She pulled me up and handed me something.

I rubbed my eyes to get a better look at it. It was a dress. A long sleeve, over the knees, peaky cleavage maya blue dress.

“What do I need this for?” I asked.

“You are wearing it today.”

“Angie?”

“What?”

“Do you see cup of coffee in my hand yet?”

“No.”

“Then stop talking.”

“Listen…”

“Don’t you, listen me!” I got up and stretched. “Where is Kayla?”

“I got the make up kit.” Suddenly Kayla walked in the tree house and handed a make up kit to Angie.

“What do you guys think you’re doing?”

“Before you freak out Julie, we need to tell you this is for your own good.” I blinked twice. What was their plan?

“You are wearing the dress to school.”

“No way.” I waved my hands. “No fucking way.”

“Listen to me.” Angie grabbed my hands. “J.D really fucked up. I’ve never seen you cry like that. That asshole needs a lesson.”

“You called him an asshole for me?” I softened.

“I’m your friend. Making him Johnny’s friend doesn’t change anything. You are always first. Now we are going to make you smoking and you are going to ignore him all day.”

“Angie I…”

“I know you’ll say that he’ll probably ignore you or avoid you but me and Kayla came up with a plan while you were sleeping. Just hear us out.”

“Okay.” I sighed.

“Please don’t be like that…wait what? You are doing this?”

“I don’t have a will to do anything. You do the thinking for me today. I’m all yours.”

I sat on one of the pillows. Angie was jumping happily.

“So here is the plan. Me and Angie will ignore Johnny and Chris too so when they come looking for us they will probably drag J.D with them.”

“What if they don’t?”

“That’s plan B. But don’t worry about that. We need you to make him mad today.”

“I don’t even want to see him.”

“When he shows up just pull my hand and we’ll walk away leaving him drooling.”

“You think this will work?”

“It has to.”

We arrived in school. I felt so naked coming to school with a dress. I have never worn one before and this was a new thing to me. Kayla did my make up and to tell you the truth I didn’t recognize my self. In a good way. As I was walking couple of jocks turned their heads. Do I look hot or what? I am not letting J.D get to me. I’m a strong person. I can leave with these emotions. I will just block them out for today and when I go home I’ll cry till my eyes can't produce tears no more. What a fabulous plan.

The day went perfectly. And by perfect I mean, me crying in the bathroom between classes and Kayla doing my make up over and over. Then Angie ignoring all the phone calls from Johnny and me going back to class pretending everything’s normal. I guess it couldn’t be better. Right?

On break time me, Angie and Kayla didn’t go to the cafeteria. Oh no. They needed to avoid the bad boys so their plan to work. So I’m stuck on the bench behind school. Us talking and they probably looking for us.

“I think that is a matter of time when Johnny will think of this place. I mentioned it to him once. He will come I have a feeling.”

“And then what?” I asked Angie.

“Leave it to me.” She winked. I didn’t feel like doing games or impressing anyone. I knew I had to look tough but inside I was breaking apart.

“Angie! Where the hell have you been all day?”

We all turned to see Chris and Johnny coming this way. But there was no sign of J.D.

“I’m sorry babe. I’m not in the mood for you today.” She stood up and smirked at him. Angie looked tough. I have never seen her look so confident and bossy.

“Not in the mood for me? What am I? A dog?” He looked mad. I was a little scared but Angie didn’t look scared at all.

“It means your asshole friend pissed of my friend and with that he pissed me of too.”

“That goes here too.” Kayla stood up too and glared at Chris. Oh my too best friends. They have no idea how much his means to me.

“So I have to pay the prize for those two playing around.” He pointed at me. I stood up. I want to leave now.

“You don’t have to pay anything. But today I need to be there for my friend.”

“Come on baby she is a big girl. She can handle this.”

“She needs me god damn it Johnny.”

I walked over. I appreciate everything she is doing but I don’t want her fighting because of me. Kayla and Chris were glaring at each other and I would feel even worse if I broke my friend’s happiness because I’m sad.

“Angie, I’m leaving. Please don’t fight.” I looked at Kayla too. They were both confused.

“Don’t fight with her please.” I looked at Johnny and before I left I said one more thing. “And don’t hurt her. Both of you.” I looked at Chris too and walked away. I can’t cry. I repeated my self as I kept on walking towards the school’s front door. Suddenly I hit somebody.

(J.D’s p.o.v.)

Those assholes can’t go a day without their girlfriends. I knew Julie was going to be there but I can’t see her. I don’t want to see her. She drives me crazy like no one else. I overreacted yesterday but I can’t take anything back. I can’t even believe I kissed her like that and I wanted to kiss her somewhere where she could feel special.

God, what’s wrong with me. Why am I acting like this? Why do I care? Because I care about her. That’s why. She means a lot to me. She means everything and I screwed it up. Like always. I can’t confront her. Seeing her will kill me. I thought about everything. I was wrong. So wrong about everything. She was just trying to help. I remember every word she said but in that moment I was so angry I didn’t listen. I screwed everything up. And I can’t fix it, can I? Can I make her forgive me? She’ll probably hate me and I’ll let her. At least she will be better off without me. I turned to the corner when I hit somebody.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“I..I..” Two gorgeous green eyes looked at me. It was Julie. What was she wearing? God, she looked hot in that blue dress. I could see more of her skin now. I looked down forcing my self to stay away but it was a mistake since I looked at her milky white long legs. Damn it, what did she do to me. I looked at her again and walked away. I didn’t say anything and just vanished. I thought about going back and tell her I’m sorry but there was no use. When I turned around she was already gone.

(Julie’s p.o.v)

He starred at me for one second and then looked down. He walked away. He didn’t even have to say something. He just walked away. I ran towards the bathroom and forced my self to calm down but I cried again. He couldn’t even stand to look at me.

(J.D’ p.o.v)

I walked behind the school to see Johnny and Angie making out and Chris and Kayla were sitting on the bench talking.

“I know babe but let them deal with things. Maybe I could talk to him…”

Johnny stopped talking and turned around to see me. But then Angie got the view too. She was very angry. This can’t be good.

“You manipulative son of a bitch.” She ran towards me angry but Johnny got a hold on her before she could hit me.

I was fucking scared for the first time in my life. And because of a girl. She looked like an angel but now I feel like I’m the devil’s mark.

“How can you do that to her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Let me kill him.” She tried to get rid of Johnny’s grip. She was talking about Julie. I know she was.

“I can’t believe you did that to her. You should be the one crying.” Julie cried…for me? Oh god what have I done.

:”I…I…”

“You know what! Forget it. She’s better off without you.”

She turned around but I wanted to know. I came closer but I didn’t want to risk touching her. She was like a tiger on a short leash.

“Angie, tell me what happened?”

“She made out with a guy. She doesn’t care about anything you , got that?”

“Can you just explain without making up lies? She would never do that.” I was getting more and more angry.

“ Yeah but you made it possible that now.”

“I don’t understand…” I don’t get what she is saying to me. What did I do to Julie? We fought. Yes. We kissed. Yes. But…Was she hurting because of the kiss …I …

“Oh don’t play dumb. You know how sweet and innocent she was and you ruined the one thing she wanted to be perfect the most.”

“Angie would you spell it put for me.” I can’t understand. What is she talking about?

She tugged of Johnny.

“Did you or did you not kiss her?”

I starred in her eyes.

“I did.” And then bam. She hit my nose so bad I think she broke it. Johnny pulled her away right away. Chris and Kayla ran towards us.

“Would you two stop fighting?”

“She is mad at me for kissing Julie.” I fussed. “I bet Julie liked it.”

Angie death glared at me.

“You asshole.” Kayla was starring at me now. “I’m glad she hit you now.”

“Girls, what the fuck! Julie hates me. She hurt me more then I did her. She yelled at me and wanted to tell my parents. I did nasty things in the past which I’m not proud off and she was going to send me to jail. I might have reacted a little too… much about it but she was the one that pushed me away. And yes I did kiss her. But I think she was more upset she got caught.”

“You selfish …You stole her first kiss. That’s why she was mad.” Kayla yelled.

Excuse me. I think I heard wrong.

“That can’t be true…She…she told me she had kissed other guys…she…” I stuttered. I didn’t steal her first kiss…

“You moron! Don’t play like you didn’t notice. The bet you two had. Couldn’t you see that she was scared…”

“But I…” I don’t understand. She was…I did…

“She lied idiot. She was embarrassed to admit it but she never kissed a boy before. I though you were good for her. But I was wrong. She was wrong.”

“Stop Kayla.” Angie pulled her away.

“No he needs to know what kind of monster he is.” She turned to me. “She cared about you more then anybody else will. She wanted to kiss you. She did. But not while she was in the fucking bathroom and you tell her to go fuck herself later. She broke down. I have never seen her cry like that. And for that you should suffer too. Everything she tried to do was to protect you.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I yelled. “I know I was wrong and I can try to fix things…”

“You are too late. You made her cry. You don’t deserve her. She has never done anything wrong to you. Ever.”

“I swear I didn’t know it was her first kiss. You have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“Where is Julie? I need to talk to her?”

“Are you crazy? Do you think we’ll actually tell you?” Angie yelled louder. I wanted to shoot my self. I felt guilty bad broken sad. I was awful. They were right. I was a monster. I stole her first kiss. I can’t believe how I was that naïve…All the signs pointed but…I was blinded by my ego.

“ I will fix things.”

“I doubt that.”

I left. There was no more for me to say. I have to figure this out. How can she forgive me? Can I forgive myself?

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