Twenty One: When I Finally Said I Love You (Part Two)
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She easily recognizes one taken at a time during 10th grade when they performed a play of Romeo and Juliet. Another is taken at that time in 12th grade during graduation. And some other photos include just chilling time in the classroom with other girls in class and even embarrassing moments in early years in middle school.
She's dumbfounded. The pictures include date marks and geotagged at places. It's amazing just thinking how he was able to take them and actually keep them all.
"Did I shock you? I know I may turn out as a freaking stalker to you now but I just want you to know that I'm telling you the truth. All this time. All these nine years up to now. I'm only always all about you."
She looks at him now. His tender eyes are reminiscing at the pictures. His affectionate smile shows all the effort he made while taking each picture, on different days, if everyday is not possible. She's feeling hard to breathe now. Her eyes are becoming teary too. This confession, this overblown confession is overwhelming her fully.
"And you know what my fave of them all is? This."
He gets a piece of photograph amongst the bunch and gives it to her. She holds it and stands still, reserving her reaction after hearing him talk. And so he continues to tell his story.
"It was in fifth grade. That time after you stared at my face thinking I was mute. It was the moment I realized. There was no one who'd look at me like this in my life ever again. And I want to look at her just like that too. So from there I started taking pictures of you whenever I see you. Hoping one day I'd be able to show them to you personally. Just like today."
Staring at the picture, she can't bear the heavy but great feeling anymore. With a split second, tears start falling down her cheeks and Jeonghan panics.
"Hey, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? I can throw all of them away if you want. Or even burn them. Just tell me to. I'd do anything you want me to. Please stop crying. I never intended to make you cry like this."
He wants to touch her but he refrains from it. He keeps himself at a clear distance away from her. He doesn't want to scare her even more that he thinks it is. He looks like crying himself and that makes Seunghee giggle a bit. Jeonghan dismisses his worry at her laugh.
She brushes her eyes softly, wipes the tears away from her cheeks and tells him.
"These are actually tears of joy," she smiles and continues, "You know what? When you kissed me that night, I asked myself. Did he mean it? Or was he just trying to seduce me? I was afraid you might say it's just something you did without thinking and treat it as if nothing. That's why I didn't want to talk to you. I didn't want to know the reason why because it may be something that might hurt me in the end."
Jeonghan stares at her gently as she bares her feelings all out. She's looking back at him but at times averts her eyes.
"But you say you love me now. I don't know how to react. It's the least thing I expected to hear from you. Because for more than nine years, you never talked to me, you never came near me or even smiled at me. And for nine years till just earlier today, I wished that you would say that to me one day."
He is surprised. Did he just waste nine years of his life distancing himself from her thinking she can't possibly feel the same? The thought makes him feel really stupid. Really, really stupid.
"And now I see these. How can I make you throw all of these pictures away? It's the proof that all these times, all those nine years I was waiting, you were waiting for me too."
She cries once more with a loving smile on her face, saying the words she has long been wanting to tell him.
"I love you Jeonghan. For nine years till now."
She cups his face then with both hands, tears still falling, quivering with her smile.
"Did you know how long that was?"
Jeonghan can certainly agree with her.
"I know. Just as much as you do."
Staring at her face, knowing she feels the same all this time, he doesn't hold back anymore. He leans in to give her their first kiss. Their first real kiss, finally as a couple. And with overwhelming joy, they give each other their first lover's embrace.
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Later on, Seunghee and Jeonghan are at the living room talking about the past as they cuddle one another. Jeonghan's arms wrap around her waist as they sit together on the couch.
"Just what were you thinking all this time, putting us both in agony?" Seunghee asks staring at him.
"I'm sorry okay? I know I was a bit too slow. If only you gave me signs and stuff, I could have done it years ago," Jeonghan replies.
"Am I supposed to give it all away? I'm not that cheap. This is all your fault, just admit it."
"Alright, alright, I give up. You're right. I won't fight with it. I have you now, that's what's important and I won't ask for more."
He pecks on her nose and gives her a warm smile. Seunghee gives him a kiss on the cheek in return and smiles sweetly back at him. Jeonghan just can't help the urge to kiss her once again. He waited for this moment long enough, he won't limit himself anymore. He shoves his head to hers and gives her a deep kiss this time, putting his right hand on the back of her head and the other hand on her back. Seunghee feels a little bowled over though. He's getting really excited, she's not accustomed to things like these yet and it's quite scary for her. He's getting more aggressive as he carries on that she has to make him stop.
Seunghee slightly push him away and he slowly moves away from her, but his hands are still attached to her. His lips are burning already and are hungry for more when he stops.
"What is it?" he asks, his eyes fully dreamy and high.
Seunghee timidly tells him about it, "Can you let go for a moment?"
"Okay."
She fixes herself on her seat and he stares at her with those tempting eyes.
"Can we keep the kissing at bay?"
It hits him. He just realized he's acting really obsessive and possessive now. He's intimidating her. He scratches the back of his head knowing what he's done.
"I'm sorry, did I go too far? It's only our first day and I've already..."
"It's okay," she says as she holds his hands. "I was just surprised. But it's okay. You did nothing wrong. Just slow down a bit okay?"
"Okay. I'll try to control myself. I'm sorry, Seunghee-ya."
She smiles with the way her calls her and replies, "I love you, Jeonghan-ah."
"I love you. Come here."
He lays his hands before her for a hug and she obliges. She gives him a tight embrace as he circles her back affectionately too. And they stay like that for a while, not letting each other go.
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By 11 PM, Jeonghan finally lets Seunghee go after hours of snuggling and talking about the past and finally being together today. They are walking to the door now, Jeonghan still all over her.
"Can't you stay for the night? You're just a wall away," Jeonghan utters.
Seunghee takes his hands off her waist and cups his face, "That's why I have to go. You know I'm just a wall away."
"Seunghee-ya..."
"Jeonghan-ah... we have plenty of time starting today."
"Alright, okay. I'll knock on your door first thing tomorrow."
He opens his door and Seunghee takes a step out.
"Okay. Good night for now," she says.
"Good night," he says.
He kisses her forehead and she smiles at him. They look like they never want to part again now that they have each other and are finally in each other's arms.
But unknowingly, a pair of eyes burning with fury and jealousy is watching them. Jun, who has been staying at the corridors infront of Seunghee's apartment for a few hours now, wishing she finally talks to her, just saw her got out of his apartment and him kissing her good night. His anger overwhelmingly engulfs him that instant, charging at him like a mad man and lands a punch on Jeonghan's face.
"You son of a bitch!" Jun yells at his face.
Jeonghan falls on the ground, surprised by the sudden outrage and appearance of Jun. Seunghee is shocked of what just happened but she promptly tries to stop Jun from hitting Jeonghan.
"Jun, stop it! What are you doing?!" she screams at him.
Jeonghan stands up on his feet feeling his aching jaw when suddenly, Jun harshly throws Seunghee to the side.
"Stay out of this!" Jun shouts.
Seunghee gets outbalanced and drops on the floor. Jun contemplates for a bit but this time, he's the one who falls to the ground. Jeonghan just gave him the hardest blow out of his knuckles. He won't let anyone hit Seunghee not even himself. How dare he lay a finger on her.
Jun can feel his nose bleeding as he lay on the ground. Jeonghan goes over Seunghee and helps her up. Seunghee has hit her arm on the ground earning a scratch.
"Are you okay? Your arm," Jeonghan asks her, assisting her back, holding her arm.
"I'm okay, it's just a scratch," she answers but seeing Jeonghan's face all red worries her more. "Does it hurt? Are you alright?" touching his face tenderly.
"It's nothing."
Jeonghan and Seunghee are standing now, as Jun struggles to stand by himself. He stares madly at them. The sight of them being together is tearing his heart apart. Seunghee is mad at him for hitting Jeonghan and not for anything else. And Jeonghan is enraged too only because he hurt Seunghee.
Jeonghan attempts to come over him and give him another punch but Seunghee pulls him back.
"No, don't. Please Jeonghan."
"This guy is never going to accept it!"
"He will! He's just confused right now."
Jun looks at Seunghee, with his conscience slowly picking up. She's still trying to protect him, after what he has done. Jeonghan just can't understand her. Why is she still covering up for him? Seunghee turns to Jun now, speaking her mind.
"Jun, just what is wrong with you? I think it's about time you finally let go of your feelings for me. We're together now. Jeonghan and I are officially together now. And this is not just an accident. Apparently, we've been waiting for each other for nine years. So please... stop this already. Nobody can help you but yourself."
"No!!!!"
Jun just can't take it.
"I love you noona! And I will never stop loving you!" he screams and turns away, running as fast as he can.
Seunghee feels bad for Jun and it shows all over her face. She just wishes that he finds it in his heart to look at another girl someday. She only wishes what's best for him. And that doesn't include her in his life like he wanted. But she can be his friend, no matter how long he wants her to be.
Jeonghan can see how affected she is of what's happening to Jun. It stirs jealousy in him somehow. Why would she feel so sorry for someone she rejected so many times? What has Jun done for her to earn her concern and sympathy this much? It hurts him deep in his heart. That guy is someone important for her too. That fact just pierces his heart.
Jun runs away from the place without the right state of mind. He knew this day would come, he knew they'd be together one of these days. But just because he knew didn't guarantee that he will be able to accept it nicely. The picture of them together infront of his eyes made him all go blank. His heavily broken heart eating away his rational mind made him do what he did and now he's enveloped by endless grief.
Still running, Jun crosses the street with the green light on and just suddenly... a screeching sound of a truck hitting the breaks resounds across the street.
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To be continued...
(16.02.14)
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