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Feeling his lips against hers make her rampage a bit under his touch. His arms all over him, his hands are touching her in places, and his body is pressed closely against hers. She doesn’t want it, but momentarily, as she lets the kiss through, her being involuntarily caves in.

Taehyung senses this and indulges in her lips. He’s sure now, and no matter what she says next will not make him fall back anymore. She truly belongs to him starting tonight. After minutes of sharing hot kisses, he slowly releases her lips, resting his forehead on hers. Her face is flustered, embarrassed and ashamed. He stares at her closely and she still avoids his eyes. From the looks of it, she’s also teary-eyed.

“It’s okay. We can get through this. We can make this work,” he utters.

“I don’t know. I don’t want this. Please Taehyung. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s everything to me…” she begs him.

“If you really love him, you shouldn’t have fallen for me.”

He stands straight in front of her and she looks up to him. He’s confident that he’s on the right track.

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave you. We’re in this together,” he assures her.

“No… no… I don’t need this,” she’s tearing up now. “Please just go away…”

“After this? I can’t do that anymore Seunghee. I can’t give you up now.”

“Please… don’t do this to him.”

“I’ll give you time. I’ll wait for you okay?”

“No…”

“I’ll wait for you Seunghee.”

He finally decides to leave. If he stays any longer, he might just forget to respect her. And he doesn’t want that. He freely goes out of the apartment, leaving her in a state of shock. He walks away high-spirited and almost out of it. He’s overjoyed of the circumstances, not caring in the world if he gets to hurt his best friend, for as long as he gets the girl. The only girl who caught him like a butterfly. Taehyung’s feelings towards Seunghee is earnest and honest. And he knows this is something he can’t let go.

Meanwhile, she’s broken to the core. She can’t forgive herself for letting this happen. For giving another guy the hopes of coveting her heart when all she wants in her life is Jeonghan. Why?? She’s going out of her mind asking herself why she did it. Why doesn’t she have control over herself whenever he holds her? It’s unthinkable, unfathomable, unbearable. She wants to hurt herself for doing this. She wants to turn back time and convince Jeonghan not to let him stay from the start. But all she can do right now is cry her frustrations away. She slumps on the floor where he just held her and drown in her regrets. She doesn’t know if she can survive another day facing Jeonghan. She doesn’t know how to fix this mess anymore. She’s so lost. Somebody help her.

The one thing they don’t notice is that the door next to hers just slightly closed. And behind it is the person most vulnerable to the events that just happened.

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

The next day, it’s inevitable, but she has to go on like usual. Like she hasn’t done anything bad to him. They’re inside her apartment today. She presses the keys and begins humming the tune. Her newest composition is as good as done. She only needs to revise some lyrics to it.

Jeonghan walks in and sits beside Seunghee. She continues playing as he listens to her, taking in the melody and rhythm. It’s a new feel.

“It’s refreshing. You’ve found a new sound,” he comments.

“Just a few adjustments here and there. It’s not basically new,” she responds.

“I’ll miss this. I’ll miss these times Seunghee.”

“What are you talking about? Are you going anywhere? Without telling me?”

She faces him a bit worried. And he looks into her eyes. She’s confused, there’s something wrong with his stare.

Then he says, “Don’t you have to say anything to me?... About Taehyung?”

It alarms her big time but she manages to front. It makes her panic, guilty as charged. She avoids his gaze, obviously making her look like hiding something. And this makes him feel a sharp pang hit his heart.

“What about him? Didn’t he contact you? He said he’s going home to Daegu for a while right?”

He can see she’s fumbling. The way her hands shake on the piano keys makes it even more obvious.

“He didn’t see you before leaving?”

She’s picking up the hints. Jeonghan knows it. She doesn’t need to see the look on his face right now. The way he’s talking, he’s certainly implying something.

“Why would he see me?”

Seunghee still tries to deny it. She’s only infatuated with Taehyung, but she knows it in her heart that Jeonghan is still the only one she loves. The only thing she wants to do right now is to make up for the mistake she’s done. There’s no way she’ll ever do it again. She’ll talk to Taehyung to ultimately leave her alone and end everything that occurred between them cuz it was all just a terrible mistake. She’ll tell him all about it but it all breaks when he utters the words she doesn’t expect him to.

“I saw him hug you during the fireworks display.”

And what more shocks her is what he says next.

“And I heard you talking last night too.”

It crushes her. Her betrayal is the worst. She sits there silenced. Unable to formulate words inside her head. She’s in a great havoc.

He watches her as she drowns in her dilemma. It pains him to see her like this. It looks like she didn’t mean everything to happen. But it happened and she let it. That’s the indisputable fact that’s shattering his whole existence.

“You said no one can tear us apart right? I held on to your words and trusted you. I did it without leaving any space for doubt. But now this.”

It’s a lot more painful than she thinks. It would’ve been a lot easier if he’s screaming at her, if he’s throwing his anger at her. But he’s calm. He’s unusually calm it scares her to death what might happen next.

“Let’s breakup Seunghee.”

Her world crumbles down at those words. She doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want it to be this way. She starts crying, as she adheres onto him like he’ll disappear any minute.

“No, please… jagiya… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to betray you. I didn’t mean any of it to happen. I was just confused about him. I was just mesmerized about how he is… I was just- Please forgive me…”

But he’s only staring down at her, immobile, with a pained look on his face. She looks like breaking down any moment. She’s weeping so bad, it tears him apart. He wants to comfort her. He wants to tell her it’s okay. He wants to forgive her in his heart. But he can’t. He can’t do it even if he wants to. The pain has made him numb. It overwhelms all of his senses.

“No, don’t do this please…”

“I’m gonna leave for you to have some space.”

“What? No, you don’t have to. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do whatever you want. Just forgive me. Just tell me to, I’ll do anything. Jagiya, please… I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing you can do to make it right.”

It shocks her. He’s firm with his words. He has never been this stone cold before. And the expression on his face is something she hasn’t seen before. It’s cold. It’s so cold there’s no doubt he’ll really leave. At this point in time, he’ll definitely do what he says.

“Jeonghan please…” she’s solemnly crying, begging for him not to go.

“I think this is for the best for both of us,” he continues.

“No… No.. Please… I’m sorry… I beg you, please don’t leave me like this.”

She clings to his arm as if her life depends on it. Like a little kitten too scared to be away from its mother. But it’s all her doing, it’s all her fault. She can’t blame him for acting this way.

“If you really loved me, you should’ve never been confused about Taehyung, just like any other guy. He should’ve never affected you in any way. You shouldn’t have made that mistake.”

“Can’t you forgive me? I can still correct it-“

“You can’t. Not by time.”

He stands up, as Seunghee stays there as if she has just lost the biggest part of her life. He walks away but she can’t even go after him. The guilt, the pain and the damage she has caused devastates her critically. As he walks away, she breaks down. Falling onto the floor gripping her hair at the sides of her face and sheds unstoppable tears. Jeonghan turns to see her one last time in the state she’s in. But he doesn’t come over her anymore before totally leaving. He made up his mind. He will engrave it in his memory. This part of her. This picture of her.

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

Jeonghan starts keeping his distance from the group since that day. He’s the one who broke up with her and he’s really the one hurt in this mess. What’s worse is that he doesn’t see Taehyung around. When he could have just let go all his pent up anger and deal with him, he’s just not there. Seeing Seunghee everyday crushes his heart bit by bit. Seungcheol and Jisoo are just beside him, supporting his decisions for doing this. They can’t tell him what to do. He’s stubborn enough to push them away if they ever interfere with his judgments. And seeing him like this, they are truly worried for their friend. They knew from the start that she’s his world, and that his world will shatter the moment she hurts him.

Taehyung made the decision not to show his face infront of Jeonghan after what he has done. He may want his girl now, but he still has the decency to avoid further conflict. He knows he’ll strike him back, he knows he possibly just wants to kill him and he doesn’t want to personally put an end to their friendship. Even though he knows it’s already been void.

As for Seunghee, this is the time she needs her girlfriends the most. And they are there for her even if she doesn’t call on them.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay away from him?” Areum angrily scolds her.

Seunghee is silent on a corner. They are having coffee at their favorite café.

“I never imagined this could happen,” Sorn utters.

The first time they all heard about it, they all thought it was just a joke. Like an April fool’s one. But April’s  months ago and when they actually learned it was true, it was the biggest shock for them all. Sehun and Jun chose not to interfere. Cuz it’s not Jeonghan’s fault and they barely know about Taehyung. It’s between Seunghee and the girls to talk about.

“I have no idea how it happened…” Seunghee still holds onto the mirage of innocence.

Sorn only looks at her but it’s Areum who feels really betrayed.

“Don’t give me that Seunghee. If I have to fight for you to convince him, you have to tell me everything!” Areum nags. “You don’t blame Jeonghan, you don’t blame the other guy, then who’s to blame for all these? That leaves only you.”

She’s always straight to the point. It’s harsh, it’s painful but Seunghee needs this. She needs someone to scold her and discipline her for not being loyal enough to the person who treats her as the only girl in world. Her tears begin falling hard with the thought that she did him wrong. That he broke up with her. That he can’t forgive her.

“Ah… You know what? You deserve to cry. You deserve to suffer like this,” Areum says frankly.

“Unnie…” Sorn grabs Areum’s hand to calm her down a little.

“Just let me be Sorn. If it was Jeonghan who did her wrong, I would haunt him to the end of the world just to make him pay. But it’s the other way around. Should I haunt Seunghee instead?” she sighs. “Of course, I won’t do that,” she starts.

Seunghee just silently listens to every word she says. And so does Sorn, who now moves to sit beside Seunghee to comfort her.

Areum continues now with a calmer tone, “I just need to understand why you did this. Jeonghan doesn’t deserve this, you know that. He’s even more devoted than Sehun is to me. I just can’t figure out why this happened. You want to get back with him right? Then tell me so I can help you. I can’t stand seeing you like this Seunghee. And I don’t want Jeonghan to suffer without knowing the truth too.”

Seunghee lifts her head to her still crying rivers. She knows she will do everything to help. But she really doesn’t know it herself. She didn’t mean everything to happen. She didn’t mean to put their relationship to test. All she knows is that she wants Jeonghan back in her life. She can’t go on if she loses him. She has to win him back.

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To be continued…

(16.10.31)