Forty Two: When I Made The Wrong Choice

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"So what happened last night?" Jisoo asks as the three of them, him, Seungcheol and Jeonghan have coffee at the cafeteria the next day.

"What? Nothing," Seungcheol coolly answers as he browses his smart phone.

Jeonghan is busy with his phone too, he sits beside Seungcheol and Jisoo across them. Jisoo just stares at both of them. Maybe he has to put out his smart phone too to match the mood. He only shakes his head. These two boys are just sick. It has no cure. Lovesickness is a disease. Anytime soon, he'll probably fall ill too. He gets his cell phone and turns it on. He smiles to himself cuz actually, he is infected too. Well, he only has Sorn's picture as his wallpaper. Without a doubt, he has the disease too.

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"Seunghee, can I ask you to help me with composing? I really need a song in two weeks' time," Nayeon tells Seunghee during lunch break.

"Sure, what time would you want to meet up?" Seunghee answers as she eats her lunch.

Jeonghan and the others are not around and there are only the two of them today.

"From fifth to seventh period daily?"

"Fifth to seventh period? I'm sorry, I have classes then. Don't you have any other free time?"

"Unfortunately, I don't. From eighth period, my last class ends by 8PM. I really need some help Seunghee."

"Then how about Jeonghan? Do you want him to help you?"

"Really? Will he help me? Is he free during those periods?"

"Yah, those are the only periods we're not taking together. I'll ask him for you."

"Thank you! At least I have someone."

"Yah, no problem."

Seunghee smiles genuinely at her. She only wishes to make her stay a lot smoother as she adjusts with her new campus. Jeonghan probably will do the same, she thinks.

While at the back of her head, Nayeon is rejoicing. She knew all along. She knew that the only person free during those periods is Jeonghan. And she deliberately dropped her subjects for those periods only to match with his. She only came here for him. Even if she appears to be a villain right now, it's all for the sake of love. And it's never wrong to pursue a love this strong. She'll definitely make it through to him. Beyond her boundaries, beyond her limits.

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"Hey," Nayeon sees Seungcheol again waiting for her at the end of her schedule for the day.

"You're here again?" she asks, walking past him.

Seungcheol matches her pace and stays beside her. "You see me right?"

"What do you want this time?" she's obviously not in the mood.

"Can I walk you home?"

Nayeon stops and faces him with a serious look, "Stop. I didn't tell you you can do this."

"Do you have to tell me?" he utters with the smug look on his face.

"You can't."

She paces away but he keeps up with her.

"Why can't I? What's with the cold shoulder Nayeon-ie? We were just together last night. And it didn't seem to bother you."

"It did."

"What? What is this? Is there something I should know or someone I should be wary of?"

"There is! So just stop. You can't continue pestering on me like this."

"I'm pestering on you? I'm trying to get to know you."

"Well I don't want you to."

"You don't even know me yet. Why don't you give me a chance to even-?"

"I already like someone else."

She stops once again and so does he.

"I can't accept your feelings right now. There's no space left for you, so please... Don't waste your time with me. You won't be rewarded. Not in this point in time. I'm sorry."

It leaves Seungcheol speechless. Being rejected right off the bat stings. What's worse is that he can't even talk back. Isn't he supposed to fight for this? Didn't he think there is something that connects them? She steps away rapidly from him and he can only stare at her silhouette as the reality slowly sinks into him. But who is this guy? That's the only question in his mind, for now.

Nayeon bears this straight face. She can't have anymore distractions as of now. She's 101% focused on the plan at hand. She will succeed in this. She will have the guy she wants.

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In her apartment, Seunghee is preparing dinner for both of them. Jeonghan is sitting across the counter, simply watching her. She asked him to lay off the kitchen and he does just that.

"Hansol called yesterday. He said, he'll be returning next year for sure," she starts the conversation with him.

"That kid. He's really trying hard," he replies with a smile.

"It's good that we still have a year left. We can still jam up for some time."

Jeonghan puts up his phone and takes a picture of her while cutting the onions. She finds it amusing.

"You still do that?"

"Yeah, you just noticed now?"

"I do see you at times. But do you still do that every day?"

"Of course. This is my legacy, you know. I live for this."

She only smiles at his remark. He's browsing his phone and he looks serious enough, she knows he's not kidding. Then she remembers the thing about Nayeon.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Nayeon needs some help with composing. She asked me first but I'm not available on her schedule so I said maybe you can take my place."

"Is it necessary?" he asks uninterested of the idea.

"She won't ask if it isn't. Come on, she's only new to the group. Make her feel welcome."

"Didn't you consider if I'm really free or not? I might have something up during those hours."

"But you don't have any yet. So you better reserve it for Nayeon. And it's only for two weeks. She said she needs the song by then."

"Why didn't you say so? I thought I'd be working on a full album with her."

"She probably won't ask for that long."

"Let me think about it."

"Come on jagiya..."

"Give me till after dinner."

"Okay..."

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After two hours, Seunghee and Jeonghan have already finished dinner and are simply nestling on the couch relaxing, watching animé. Jeonghan smells Seunghee's hair. He's been doing that since they sat there.

"What are doing? It's been twenty minutes and you're still sniffing on that," she asks.

"Why, is it forbidden to smell your hair? It just smells so good," he replies casually.

"Why don't you smell the shampoo bottle instead if you like it so much?"

"You're being funny today jagiya."

"You're being creepy, that's why."

"So I'm creepy now. You don't want me to be this close to you? Alright."

He jerks away but she holds on to him anyways.

"Just kidding! Come on. We don't get to fight anymore these days. I just find it tedious. Though I want this kind of atmosphere too."

"So you want us to fight?"

"Of course not. I just like it cuz we end up even stronger each time."

"I know a different type of fight. One that you'll probably struggle with all your might. And you'll probably won't talk to me for weeks."

She eyes him indifferently now. "Just what are you thinking about? That sounds disturbing."

"You want me to tell you? Huh?"

He pulls her near and eyes her stickily. She knows where it's heading so she pushes him away slowly.

"No need! I know what you're thinking."

"Come on jagiya..."

He puts his arms around her waist and softly pulls her in. With their busy schedules, it's been a while since they last had a nice cuddle. That last time was at the inn, a month ago. He has her in his arms now, his face only a few centimeters away from hers. His eyes fixated on her lips.

With his arms wrapped around her body, she feels so fragile. It's always like the first time, how she melts at his touch. This time, she feels so drawn to him that she does what her heart tells her to, even if her mind declines to do so. She suddenly kisses him ardently while gently touching his face.

On impulse, he returns the kiss with the same intensity but still taking control of his desires. It's very seldom that she initiates this kind of thing. And he can't be more content than this. He just wishes she lets him climb up the ladder soon. Cuz even if he promised, sometimes his patience is barely holding up like today.

He smothers her with his breath-taking kisses like it's the end of the world. She somehow understands where he's coming from so she lets him. She knows it herself that they've been kinda busy lately and almost have no time to pleasure each other.

Jeonghan is on the edge though, her smell is intoxicating him and his hands as if automatically, act on its own accord. He pushes her flat on her back and inserts his hands under her shirt. It brings her to a shiver feeling the warmth of his palm. And in a swift movement, his hands are on her breasts, kneading them like dough. It startles Seunghee big time, it's the first time he does this. And it kinda shocks her.

When he leaves her lips and nips at her neck, she lets out her discontent.

"Jagiya, your hands... Stop! Stop."

She holds his wrists and as she feels him calm down above her. Slowly, she takes his hands off her chests. He takes his seat and she follows up right away and secures a safe distance away from him, covering her front.

Jeonghan throws his head on the headrest and apologizes, "I'm sorry. I've done it again."

"It's okay. Don't worry. I was just surprised."

"Yah."

For a few moments, they stay silent like that and eventually, Seunghee recalls the issue with Nayeon.

"So have you thought about it?"

"About what?"

"About Nayeon."

"Can't she find someone else?" he's somewhat reluctant in doing it.

"Jagiya..." with the way she looks at him though, she wants him to do it.

He gives in anyways, every single thing she asks of him is just as good as done.

"Alright, alright. I'll help her. I'll meet her tomorrow."

"Thank you!" she hugs him tightly because of that, completely forgetting the incident just a few moments ago.

After loosening her clasp, she picks up her phone and starts typing. As soon as Jeonghan said yes, Seunghee sent Nayeon a message about it. She can't be happier helping her.

"You're telling her already?" he says.

"Yah, why not?"

Seunghee's line message: Nayeon-ah! Jeonghan said yes. He'll meet you up tomorrow.

In a second's time, Nayeon quickly replies.

Nayeon: Thanks so much Seunghee! I'll treat both of you to dinner once all this is over. Tell him thanks in advance too.

Seunghee: He says you're welcome.

Nayeon: ^^ See you tomorrow. Good night to both of you.

Seunghee: Good night!

"So now, why don't we go for round two? I promise I won't cross the line," he pulls her in again but this time she strongly refuses.

"Jeonghan no... come on, it's getting late already!"

But he nuzzles his face on her neck again, tickling her, making her giggle even though she doesn't want it anymore. He scared her a while ago but then, she understands him. She will eventually stop refusing him, she knows. Right now, she's only thankful he's patient enough to wait for her.

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In her room, Nayeon is smiling to herself with teary eyes. She's sitting on her side table with the lampshade on, just a few moments since she received Seunghee's last message. She can't contain the joy she's feeling. But part of her is also grieving looking at the message her friend sent her. He said you're welcome. It means they're together right this very moment. It pierces her heart. Someone's already one step ahead of her. Someone has already captured his heart. But disregarding all the facts in front of her, she's determined. She's finally at the start of her journey. There's no way she'll turn her back now. There's nothing she can't achieved if she puts all of her mind into it.

She opens her drawer and puts out a picture, taken from her last days in fifth grade. She feels overwhelmed, just by staring at the photo once again. Something she always did in the past. The picture is of Seunghee and her. But somewhere behind them, there he was. There was Jeonghan. It's the only picture she has of him. The only thing she has been holding onto all these years. She embraces it as she prepares herself for the upcoming days. The days she'll finally be able to realize her dreams. Her dreams of being with him.

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To be continued...

(16.06.09)

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