Forty Five: When We Somehow Fall Apart
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The scene before her strikes her like lightning. Something she's afraid of and at the same time she loathes. The only thing she knew right then is to run away. But tears are already shedding down her eyes. Her closest childhood girlfriend and her boyfriend in each other's arms, it's the worst case scenario for her fragile heart.
Jeonghan pushes the girl above her hardly, not caring if he hurts her this time, just to get a hold of the weeping girl who just ran away. This is not supposed to happen. Not now, not ever. He dashes out of the room as if his life depends on it.
While left in the room, Nayeon only starts to cry herself too. She's so humiliated. She feels so small she wants to disappear. The only thing she gained from this outrageous plan is that one kiss from him. In the very end, that's the only good thing that happened for her. It's the only thing. She hugs herself in self-pity and slowly dresses herself up.
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He instantly catches up with her, he grabs her arm and pulls her back. She's a bit hysterical but fury engulfs her all over. As she faces him, only pain emits from her, which kills him inside slowly.
"Seunghee!"
"What are you doing in that room?" she asks him, eyes burning with anger.
"She called me and..." he knows whatever he says will never reach her this time.
"She called on you when she's almost naked when you barge in on her?! You expect me to believe that?!" she is furious. Just when all her jealousy has settled down, she sees him in that room, alone with her, almost butt naked.
"Seunghee-ya, you're all wrong about this," but he has nothing to support his defense. He was really caught in the act of touching Nayeon, only because she was the one who got all over him. She was desperate.
"I don't want to hear it. Just go Jeonghan. Just leave me alone! Let go!"
"Listen to me okay! Let me clear this up."
"No! I don't want to listen to you! How could you do this to me? I hate you!!"
Those words hurt more than anything else in the world. The first time he heard it, it was harmful, this time, it's almost fatal. He doesn't know if he's gonna recover from it. Her eyes are piercing him to the core. She's too absorbed in the thought that he betrayed her. And even if he hasn't really done anything wrong, even if he doesn't want to, the way she looks at him right now makes him feel guilty nonetheless.
"Let go!!" she shouts weeping at the same time.
The only thing he does is let her go. He can't bear seeing her like this. She runs away from him just like that. The only thing running in his mind is the future. There can be no way this is happening. This has to be cleared out. He won't let this ruin them. Not because of something so trivial.
As they were fighting, Nayeon escapes the room unnoticed, soundless and shamed.
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Seunghee wants to listen to Jeonghan. She wants to talk to him. But she's badly hurt. She's badly pained. She's badly wounded. She probably won't be able to comprehend what he'll try to say to her. So she locks herself in for a while. She don't want him to see her like this. Of all people she should believe in and trust, he's undoubtedly above the list. What she can't really accept now is the fact that something like that happened. Whether he wanted it or not, he held another girl in his arms. And that just can't get out of her head. She trusts him, she believes in him, but if there's the benefit of the doubt, there's always its opposite.
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Seungcheol is running around the campus in search for Nayeon. He heard someone saw her crying alone somewhere near the woods at the back of the school gym. He runs his way there, hoping to find the girl and see for himself. He's also worried about her. He heard all about it. Jeonghan and Seunghee had a fight that he got a glimpse of a few minutes ago. He wants to see her. He wants to be the first person to be there for her during this critical time.
In no time, he finally finds her, crying alone in the middle of the woods at the back of the gym. She looks so helpless. It's a pitiful sight. He slowly walks towards her and she jerks, recognizing his presence. He sits beside her without a word as she still drowns in her tears.
"It's dangerous for a crying lady to be in the middle of the woods. You shouldn't be out here. Not all alone looking like that," he utters.
"Mind your own. I don't even need you to be here. Just go away," she shoves him.
"I don't know what happened but I can hear you out. Just trust me."
"I don't... I don't need you here..."
She cries even more this time. Being with someone doubles her guilt and dismay. It was really a desperate act. A despicable one. A loathsome one. She can hardly believe she was able to pull it off at the expense of her friendship and love at the same time. Looking back on it, she can only shed tears about it now. How she feels really stupid and shameful, but not regretting how she did it. Cuz in the very least, she tried. There was nothing better than fulfilling her only goal even though she utterly failed. Even though she looks pathetic right now.
He feels so much pity for her, she's crying her heart out in front of him. There seems to be no one she can run to. She's all alone in the fight she's fighting. The way she looks vulnerable entices him to a point where he mindlessly does something he doesn't have permission to. He caresses her hair and eventually kisses her, not minding if she wants it or not.
Her eyes glowered at the feel of his lips. How dare this guy kiss her? How dare he erase the feeling of Jeonghan's lips on hers just like that, without even warning her. She shoves him away instantly, following shortly, her palm lands brutally on his left cheek.
"What did you do?! You're the worst! I hate you! Stay away from me!"
"Nayeon, I'm sorry, I was just..." he tries to touch her but she taps it away.
"Don't touch me!"
She runs away from him, crying even more. It pains him. He wants to comfort her. But it seems like his help is unsolicited and he only hurt her more. The crying lady runs out of the woods as the prince charming can only stare at her receding silhouette.
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Jeonghan calls Seunghee for a million times but she doesn't pick it up. He has left messages on her voicemail and even mailed her on line and other social media accounts. But he doesn't get a reply. What's worse is that she doesn't even go home to her apartment since the incident. He can't let this go on. It's not his fault, it's not even a matter of discussion if you really look into it. There's never really a reason for them to argue about her. If only he distanced himself as soon as he felt something wrong, it wouldn't have ended this way. But he can't give up. If he has to drag Nayeon and explain to Seunghee the real score, he will. Just to bring her back, there's nothing he won't do.
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It's another night Jeonghan hasn't seen Seunghee next door. Areum and Sorn don't tell him where she is, and he respects their decisions. But it's only a matter of time before he does a search operation himself, cuz he's missing her and it's only been a couple of days. He lays down his bed with a deep sigh.
When suddenly, his phone rings. It's a message from Nayeon and it reads, "Can we talk? I just need to apologize to you personally. Can we meet near the school park before 5PM tomorrow? I'll wait for you. Thanks."
He replies her quickly, "Okay and you better fix this up." and right after, he sends Seunghee a message too, it reads, "I'm meeting Nayeon at 5PM tomorrow at the school park and I want you to be there. Please believe me. I haven't done anything wrong. If you want to know what really happened, please come. I'll make sure Nayeon spills out everything. She's your friend right? Maybe it's better for you to hear it yourself directly from her."
He hopes she reads his message. He can't prolong this groundless fight between them. Nayeon needs to fix this herself, even if he has to force her. Even if he has to leave all his respect for her behind.
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Seunghee is staying with Areum for a few days now. Areum hospitably accepted her in her room and Sorn sometimes sleeps over too. And this night is the same. She's curled up in the bed hugging a stuff toy Sehun gave her unnie. Staring at her just nearby, Areum sits on the couch with Sorn. They are still trying to convince her to talk to Jeonghan.
"What did I tell you about that girl? It seems I was right," Areum starts.
Seunghee just stays silent, but she agrees with her. Though she can't blame anyone about it. She doesn't even have the tenacity to confront Nayeon. All she thinks about is Jeonghan. And it's as if Nayeon's just a pawn in this play.
"How long are you gonna be like this?" Areum sighs in dismay. "You're not being mature enough."
"Yah, unnie, you can't solve this if you just stay here hiding from him. Does he even know you're here?" Sorn seconds.
"I don't wanna see him yet," Seunghee murmurs.
"Aish... I'm starting to get mad Seunghee," Areum tells crossing her arms together. "If you're gonna be stubborn, then just split up with him. You don't wanna talk to him? Then fine! Just send him a message that you don't want to see him anymore and split up. That's better than curling up here, bothering us with your tantrums."
Seunghee just pouts on the bed. But she's still not ready to hear what he has to say or see him.
"Why don't you want to see him unnie?" Sorn curiously asks.
Seunghee finally sits on the bed and answers sternly, "Because I don't want to forgive him just yet. If I see him today, my anger will just fade away. As if he didn't do anything wrong. I'll instantly let him off and..."
Areum sighs hard and is totally pissed off now, "Then why?! Isn't that good enough? It means you love him so much no matter what he does is okay with you."
"The thing is, is that okay? Is that okay with you?" Seunghee throws the question back at her.
Sorn can sympathize with her and just awaits Areum's answer.
Areum sighs hard again and gives Seunghee her honest answer, "Does my opinion matter? It's you who's in a relationship with him. It's you who's gonna be together with him for how long you want it to be. For a few more months, a few years, or for the rest of your life. No matter what I say now will just be tossed out the window once you hear his side and talk to him. Cuz you said it yourself, you'll instantly forgive him if you see him. It means you believe in him enough. It means you'll believe whatever he has to say, regardless whether it's real or not."
"Cuz I know he won't lie to me," Seunghee says.
"That's what I'm saying! And with how you're being with each other after these past months, do you think he can even think of cheating on you? After nine years of finally getting a hold of you? Even I think it's impossible. For now anyways," Areum adds.
Seunghee only looks down on the mattress knowing she's only trying to make both of them suffer.
Seeing her slowly reach a deciding point, Areum finally comes over her and sits beside her. She holds her hands and utters again, "Seunghee, your love story is almost like a fairy tale. From the start, till now, where else in the world can you find a guy like him? You know it yourself. This is just a misunderstanding."
Seunghee smiles at her as if crying, "I know unnie."
"Ah... don't cry on me now," Areum says.
Sorn is only smiling at the side and goes over her two unnies. "I feel the same unnie. Jeonghan oppa definitely can't do that to you."
Seunghee just smiles back at them timidly. She's just trying to think too much. But deep inside, she really wants to see him and hear his explanation. She knows he'll tell her the truth. Nothing but the truth. Areum and Sorn hugs her supportively. She's happy they are there for her in times like these. She can't be anymore grateful. All she has to do now is face Jeonghan and talk to him about what really occurred.
But Areum has to add something, "The only person you really have to deal with is that girl. Are you letting her get away with this?"
Seunghee pauses for a while and replies, "If this is really her doing, I won't ever forgive her unnie."
"Then better prepare for that," Areum says.
Sorn just keeps silent and Seunghee has this angry but rueful look on her face.
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To be continued...
(16.06.27)
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