Nico di Angelo

I went numb.

By the end of the breakdown, I had nothing else. I threw up based on how hollow my stomach felt, but I don't remember doing it. My face was stained and salt was starting to crystallize down my cheeks. Dad had given me a tissue for the disgusting matter of my nose.

"I have a job for you," Hades said as he realized that I was once again in a position to process things. "If you want to take it. To keep you from... Getting worse."

Or at least, I could hear him again. I wasn't processing much.

"A job?"

He nodded his head.

"It's a longer one, I was going to wait until after New Year's to ask you to do it," he insisted. "Especially since you can't tell your friends what it's about."

"Why not?"

"Because they'll find out in a short while, but it's too soon still," my dad told me, which sounded like bullshit, but whatever. "You'll be in California quite a bit, there's a demigod you to bring there. It'll be a day or so until you can do it since I have to dig out the file and everything, but go back to camp or to the Jackson's and deliver the news and get some sleep. Eat, too. I can't have you starving yourself."

He paused for a moment as I grabbed another tissue to blow my nose.

"Did you ever tell him?" Hades asked me. "Since he lived, did you tell him the other reason you did what you did?"

I think he was happy when I nodded my head, but it was hard to tell with Hades if he ever had a positive emotion around somebody that isn't Persephone.

Who's supposed to be down here, but got called to Olympus by Zeus.

"Yeah, like a week after the battle ended I did."

I took a second because he knows part of it, but I still wanted to tell him. More for me than for him.

"We're dating," I elaborated, which seemed to be news for him. "we started going out that day, at the end of August. We haven't really... We were going to tell everyone at New Years. Come out."

And then it hurt all over again.

It overwhelms me again and I don't expect him to, but my dad pulls me into a hug, telling me things that I'm not sure he really knows.

Telling me that it's going to be okay. That I'm going to see him again and that we'll be together again and we'll be alive together and that he's okay and that Hades is sorry that he doesn't know more right now because had he realized that we were dating, he would've pressed for more information for me.

But that's all he knows. And so it's all he can say.

And despite the fact that he's a god, or maybe it's because he's a god, but it was hard to believe him.

I didn't have a choice but to. I had to take him at his word, especially as messenger to the others, but still.

It must've been 11:30 by the time I was in a state where I could shadow travel back to New York, and thanks to curfew at camp, I just went to the apartment because I planned on sleeping there tonight anyways.

Despite the time, Sally was awake, and even more, Rachel and her parents were over and awake. Probably trying to keep Sally sane.

"Nico!" Rachel was the one that answered the door, and she's also been crying recently, but not as hard as I was in the Underworld. "Hey! Come in!"

Probably in anticipation of what I'd say and due to her own anxiety, Sally stood up when she saw me walk in, looking like she might suffocate holding her breath.

Seeing that made me need to take my own breath.

"He's alive," I told my boyfriend's mom and saw her have a similar response to of initial relief followed by heightened anxiety. "I don't know where he is, but he's alive and somebody knows where he is, but my dad and Hermes don't know who that person is."

"How do they not know who that is? Rachel's mom asked me and I shrugged.

"I'm guessing it's another god, but right now all of the Olympians are on Olympus and we can't get to them," I insisted. "Who knows, maybe it's Poseidon just because he's his dad so he keeps tabs, or maybe it's another god that has a job or something. I don't know, all I know is that he's alive and that I had two separate breakdowns talking to my dad about it. Um... I have to go to camp tomorrow to tell the others, but after that I'm starting a job for my dad. It sounds long term, though, so I'll still like... Be here when I can be. It definitely won't hurt to like... Declare him missing, though. Even if they don't like, take him in, sightings of him will at least give us an idea as to where we can look."

Nodding her head, Sally grabbed her phone and dialed 911.

"911, how may I help you?"

"Hi," Sally's voice shook a little as Rachel's mom let her hold her hand. Rachel stood next to me, probably knowing that being touched is a bit much for me right now after my dad hugged me so much earlier. "My name is Sally Jackson, I live on the Upper East Side. I'm calling to report my son as missing."

"What's your son's legal name?"

"Perseus Jackson. His birthday is August 18, 1993."

"And when was the last time you or somebody else saw or heard from last?"

"Last night around midnight," Sally told the operator. "I woke up to get some water and he was just going to bed at that point in time."

"And can I ask why you're calling now and not earlier in the day? Have you spoken to anyone else yet about this?"

"Uh... Yeah," she continued. "I was just waiting on word from his boyfriend's family on if he'd seen him at all and I just found out that they haven't, but I've spoken to a lot of people yeah. I worked early today so I didn't see him this morning, but he's usually asleep so I didn't check. I knew he had a therapy appointment this afternoon from I believe it was 1-2 or 2-3, I couldn't recall, so I gave him until 4 to get home before I started getting nervous and calling people, but nobody has seen or heard from him since yesterday or the day before. According to his therapist's office, he never showed up to his appointment, either."

After a few moments of silence, the person told Sally that they'd send an investigator over in the morning to talk to her, along with a social worker to talk about how to handle this right now.

And it felt shitty, but right now, that was all we could do without ripping Olympus down.

But even if we did that, the gods wouldn't spill. They don't care.

It's their own kid, it's their biggest hero in centuries, and they don't care.

Luckily, Sally knew about camps curfew and told me that I could stay here as long as I wanted. As long as I felt I needed to.

So I took a shower to be less gross and walked into the room to lay in the bed that I usually would share with Percy.

"Hey," Rachel's voice caught me off guard, but it's not like her or her parents left so that was stupid of me. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay because that's stupid, but is there you anything you want or need that I can get you or do for you?"

"Uh, yeah, get my boyfriend," it was a shitty joke, but it was all I could muster up. "and um... water would probably be good. I cried a lot earlier."

"I did, too," she reassured me. "we're all hurting right now, that's natural. If you want to like, talk, I'm always open, but my mom is also like, a psychologist. She's a social worker but she graduates with her PhD to be a therapist in May so like... She knows things."

"I'm good, thanks," I insisted. "Um... Maybe another day, I just need to like... Be alone right now."

But we both are close to Percy, so it's a natural question.

"Is it safe for you to be alone right now?"

And I nodded my head.

"My history is eating disorders, not hurting myself," I informed Rachel of something she might not even know. "I'm tired. I just want to drink some water, put on one of his sweaters, and go to bed."

Backing off some, Rachel said she'd get the water then as I got dressed into an outfit entirely composed of Percy's clothes.

What can I say? They were comfy and the closest thing I could get to a hug from him right now.

After a minute, Rachel dropped the water off and made some remark about how it looked like i was buried between the a clothes and blankets, but I had stopped paying attention to stuff so I'm not sure what she said exactly.

The water was well needed, clearing up a slight stuffiness that has accumulated in my head between crying and shadow travel and throwing up, but that clearness was immediately filled with another wave of exhaustion.

The only reason I didn't cry myself to sleep was the exhaustion.

The exhaustion didn't stop the agony of being reminded of Percy's disappearance at almost 3am when I woke up from a dream that he was in, giving me a fun idea for our next big date.

One that we won't have for a long time.

I cried myself to sleep that time.