Percy Jackson

I didn't even try to kill myself at all during the first few weeks on the ship, so I was doing better than I was beforehand.

My time with amnesia was very rough.

It's starting to feel not weird on the ship with everyone, though. I was very nervous about them being mean or weird about Nico and I or about me being majorly depressed even after I got my memories back, but so far the only person that's really been weird is Jason and he's the one I'm the least close with, so.

Low-key think that he doesn't like me, bur I don't have the evidence to back it up.

Then again, I did say something in his vicinity about being glad I won't have to to back to Camp Jupiter regularly or something so maybe that ticked him off.

He seems to be more prideful and strict than me. Not quite as prideful as some people I know, but enough that me saying that could elicit a response.

They fucking branded me, though, and I'm not over it because that's cruel.

Leo and Piper are chill, though. Leo and I bonded over bouncing around schools a lot and Piper reminds me a lot of Rachel, so we get along really good.

"You're from New York, right?" Piper asked me as we were on duty together for the night.

"Yeah," I told her. "Born and raised on the upper east side in Manhattan, why?"

"Just curious," she insisited. "is your whole family from there or did your mom just like, pack up and go one day? It's such a massive city, which like, LA is, too, but it always makes me curious as to why people go."

"Oh!" I recalled. "So my mom was born in Brazil, that's where her family was from. But her parents like, went on a vacation in the states when she was little, she wasn't with, and they died in a plane crash and so she lived with my uncle who ended up winning the green card lottery when she was like 10 or something like that so they moved to New York and he died when she was 17, I think, of cancer, and she didn't have the money to go back because she inherented her uncle's medical debt and whatever else and then she met my dad and had me and because I was born there I'm a citizen so then she married this asshole so her citizenship would go through faster and then he died, which was good, and yeah. We moved apartments to a little nicer of one after he died with the uh, life insurance, so yeah. She was with this guy like last year and they were engaged but then I came out and found out he was homophobic and apparently my mom is bi so... They broke up. Then it was just us until I went missing and yeah. She's a cool lady, writing a book right now. Makes some bomb food."

"Her cookies are good, I've had some from Nico," Piper got it, though. "um, is there a reason they're blue, though? I asked Nico once, but he didn't know."

Do you ever realize that sometimes people don't just do things the same way you do them because you're the weird one?

Yeah, I forget that blue food coloring isn't a staple in people's kitchens frequently because we literally buy a large jug of it to fill the little bottles with because it's cheaper.

"I— so my mom can be petty when she wants to be," I told the daughter of Aphrodite. "And when she was married to her first husband, Gabe, the asshole, she worked at w candy store that she still works at, and her favorite color and mine is blue, so she always brought home blue candy and stuff and he had a whole rant one day that blue food isn't real and whatever because nothing naturally occurs as blue. Thus, my mom already doesn't want to be with him, and she makes all of our food blue."

Piper got a good laugh out of it, which I was happy about, because it's a good story.

"That's some petty behavior I can get behind," Piper told me. "Is Nico's mom like...? I know his sister died a while ago, but is his mom...?"

I shook my head.

"His mom died when he was a kid," I clarified for Piper. "If you ask, he'll tell you. I know that like, Jason and sometimes Leo and even Frank on occasion seem to be like, freaked out or scared or him or something, but he's not... Going to hurt you guys. He's just not very talkative, but if you start a conversation, he'll talk."

"That's what I keep telling Jason!" Piper insisited, almost like it annoyed her that she had to do it. "i just haven't asked because I know that like, Leo can be sensitive about his mom's death and so I figured I'd ask you just to be safe, but I've talked to him, he's nice. We talked a little bit back at camp after he got back from inpatient treatment because I went to inpatient for bulimia like, back in middle school because always being in the media and having a famous dad really fucked me up for a minute there so we bonded over food being stupid and also Hera being stupid because she wiped Jason's memories and took you, so... He missed you a lot. I don't know how I didn't connect the dots about you guys being a thing before we met you."

"So I've heard from many people," I told her, shrugging. "But I mean, we weren't out, either, before I went missing so you weren't the only one. Nobody knew, that was the point. Well, Rachel and my mom knew, but whatever. You and Jason are dating, though, right? How'd that happen?"

I immediately could sense that it wasn't her favored topic of conversation, but I was nosy so I didn't stop her from answering.

"Oh, yeah, uh..." She began. "so fun fact, Hera set us up. When he showed up at the school not only did he not have his memories, but Hera gave Leo and I fake memories and yeah. It has been... Interesting since we realized that. I don't want to break up with him on the ship because that's awkward and it's just over a month that were supposed to be on here and I can withstand another month, but it's been... Interesting. Seeing you and Nico and even like, Hazel and Frank as happy couples was definitely a reminder for me that I don't actually... Like Jason like that. I had a friend back home that I wanted to ask out, but..."

She shrugged.

"We'll see, I don't even know if she's bi, so."

My eyeballs nearly projectiled out of my head with my drink.

"I'm sorry?" I responded. "I didn't know you were bi!"

"Oh, yeah!" She told me, thinking to herself for a moment. "I've been debating because I labelled as bi for a while and then more recently I started saying that I was a lesbian because men aren't really like, my thing, and then Hera put me with Jason and I just... Don't know how to feel and it makes me feel bad because I think he likes me like he says he does but... Like, I enjoy hanging out with him and doing stuff together, but holding hands and when he wants to cuddle or kiss it..."

Falling onto her back, Piper groaned.

"How do you tell your boyfriend that you're pretty sure you're a lesbian without fucking your friendship up?"

•••

Hands down my favorite thing about doing night watch is that when I get done, I go down to the room that Nico and I share because we're gross like that, and he'll hear the door open and close, which wakes him up like half way and then he'll see me and put his arms out and keep them there until I am in them.

And then we wake up in the morning and I know it happened, but he was half awake so he doesn't remember it.

Today was day like 5 or 6 of trying to get an IM to go through to my mom, though, because I still miss her and I want her to know that I'm like, alive and okay. I tried to make a call in Alaska but the stupid payphone was out of order.

It was early where we were, which meant that it would be late where Mom is because we're currently over the Atlantic so it's a few hours off, but Mom gets up stupid early for work so I was hoping she was up.

"Oh, great goddess Iris," and I'm not below kissing up to one or two of the gods to get what I want. "One of the greatest Olympians of whom I've never had any qualms or issues with, for the sixth consecutive day now, I am asking for you to please show me my mother, Sally Jackson of the Upper East Side in Manhattan."

Praying to Iris for it to work, literally, and a little too Hermes, I threw the drachma in.

I miss my mom.

I want this to work before summers end.